Afraid that my mother would find out, I wrapped the test strip in toilet paper and stuffed it into the trash can, and carefully disguised it.

It's been muddy ever since. I panicked.

I really didn't know what to do, it came so suddenly, and it was 108,000 miles away from the life path I had planned. Originally, I was very happy when I received the reply from the brokerage company, but now I am melancholy, this reply is really not at the right time.

In front of the computer, I read the emails I replied to repeatedly, and I also flipped through the photos that Li Baitian had taken for me. Then I closed the web page and turned off the computer very nostalgically.

It suddenly felt like these things were far away from me.

My first reaction was definitely not to have an abortion, I believe that most girls, girls who are not ready to get pregnant, do not necessarily react immediately to have an abortion.

This is life, and life will make people nostalgic.

I think I thought about giving birth to him, and even thought about what it would be like after he was born, what his parents would be like at that time.

But I don't want to be a mother yet, I never want to grow up, I want to live forever with a seventeen or eighteen-year-old mentality. As soon as I thought of having a baby in the future, watching over him, and then not being able to do anything myself, I was very nostalgic for a free life alone.

This kind of big change that could happen scared me and complicated my mind.

As soon as it's complicated, I want to go to sleep, and then I'll talk about it when I wake up. I called Li Hua, but I didn't get through, and I often couldn't get through at this time, so I simply lay on the bed and fell asleep with my head covered, and fell asleep quickly.

My mom woke me up for dinner, I said I didn't want to eat, and went back to sleep.

I didn't get enough sleep, I didn't feel like I was getting enough, I wasn't hungry, and I didn't dare to eat in front of my mother. I'm afraid I'll throw up while eating, I don't know anything now, but the only thing I know is that I can't let my mother know about the pregnancy for the time being.

My mom has a brain problem, she knows that she will go berserk, she will talk in my ear endlessly, and I will be annoyed by her.

After sleeping until more than seven o'clock, Li Hua called me back, and the voice on the phone was very sweet, he said, "I'm eating, baby." ”

I "um", he asked me how I was weak, and I said, "I'm sleeping." After a pause, he said, "You eat first, and when you're done, I'll call you." ”

"Good. ”

He hung up the phone and concentrated on eating. I think that Li Hua will be so shocked that he can't eat when he talks about this matter, so let's let him be frightened again when he is full.

I was hungry, so I got up and went around the living room, my mom was watching TV, my sister was doing her homework, and I couldn't find anything I wanted to eat, so I went back and lay down.

After Li Hua finished eating, he had to travel for nearly half an hour to get to his accommodation, and then he could sit down and concentrate on talking to me on the phone.

The signal was still intermittent, and I said, "I'm pregnant." ”

"What?" he either didn't react, or it was a damn signal, and it wasn't complete when it came over. I repeated it again, and he was still "what", and I was irritable, and I didn't bother to say it a third time, and he said, "Did you say you were pregnant?"

I don't give a "hmm" lightly.

I waited for his answer, waited for his instructions, and his answer would definitely tip the scales in my heart.

But he said very seriously, "Don't joke with me about this kind of thing." ”

His tone made my heart suddenly cold. Maybe I expected too much, maybe the response I wanted to see was that he was very excited.

I said, "I'm not kidding. ”

He said, "How so?"

I was upset, and said in a displeased tone, "Who do you ask me?" ”

He was silent for a second, then confirmed, "Really?"

I yelled at him, "Really!"

Then neither of us spoke. Li Hua must not have thought about this before, so he was suddenly dumbfounded, and he didn't know what to do.

Then I was asked how I was sure, and I said I had tested it with a test strip, and he said, "What should I do?"

I'm still the same few words, "You ask me, who do I ask." ”

I feel it, Li Hua hasn't thought about having a child now, in fact, I don't want it very much, but I feel that he doesn't want it, and I feel unhappy.

I said, "You'll be back tomorrow." ”

He thought about it, and also felt that this was a big matter and had to come back, so he said that it would not work tomorrow, and he would explain it to the construction site first, and promised to arrive the day after tomorrow.

So I waited.

We didn't say a few words that day and hung up the phone. I was in a bad mood, the first time I heard his voice, I felt so annoyed, I didn't want to say a word to him, I just wanted to be pure, close myself off with sleep, and avoid this reality for a while.

Maybe when he hung up the phone, he thought about it a lot.

Before hanging up the phone, Li Hua asked me to get up and find something to eat, and I tortured myself because I was annoyed with him, saying that I would not starve to death if I ate one less meal.

But in fact, I got up to find food, not because of what he said, but because I was hungry. Seeing that my mother had eaten the leftover meal at night, it was cold, and I was too lazy to get hot, so I just went back and lay down.

I'm not a competent pregnant woman at all, I don't know how to take good care of myself, I just want to be comfortable and lazy.

But I slept all afternoon and couldn't sleep. My mom and they all went to sleep, and I was so entangled that I started texting Li Baitian, and I said, "I won the lottery." ”

At this time, I can't think of telling anyone, it's good to have a girlfriend, but my best friend Lan Tian is now half dead. And Li Baitian helped me buy test strips, which were about the number, so I could only talk to him.

Li Baitian talked to me for a few words, and finally summed it up, the central idea is, I can't ask him about this, he can't speak, he can do it or not, but the only principle is that you can't delay, you have to make a decision as soon as possible.

I didn't sleep well all night, I didn't fall asleep until four or five o'clock in the morning, and when I woke up, there was no one at home, and there were noodles on the table that my mother had left for me, and they were all soaked like that.

My mother is very stubborn, my sister has to go to school in the morning, and she makes breakfast early, I have said many times, I can't get up, you don't do my part, but she has to do it every time, and she always feels that it is obviously a convenient thing.

I don't like noodles in the first place, and this noodles are soaked like this. But I was hungry, and I was lazy, so I ate hard, and after two bites, it was so disgusting that I ran to vomit.

One of the things I'm most worried about right now is that I can't hold on to my mom.

Anyway, Li Hua can come back tomorrow, and when he comes back, I can stop living here. But in the evening, Li Hua called me and said that he would not come back tomorrow, and the workers there had a fight and a human life was killed.

I became angry and said cruel words to him, "If you don't come back, I will go to the hospital tomorrow to have an abortion!"

Li Hua persuaded me over there to extinguish the fire, and repeatedly promised to come back as soon as possible. I can't extinguish this fire, I'm very annoyed with him now, I've been scolding him, I said, "It's all your fault, you're fine, I'm the one who suffers!"

I started crying and scolding, and he actively admitted his mistakes, but I was still angry. Actually, I also know that I can't blame him entirely, I didn't pay attention to it myself, but I just want to blame him now.

He didn't come back the next day, and I didn't really run to the hospital for surgery, and I didn't want to go on my own.

I kept urging him to come back quickly, saying cruel things every day, scolding him every day, scolding him like a grandson, he had nothing to say, he kept promising to come home every day.

I said, "If you don't come back, my mom will know, what should I do?" ”

Li Hua said: "Listen to me, go to the hospital tomorrow for a B-ultrasound examination, okay?"

This is the kind of conversation we have to say several times a day. It's not that I don't know that I want to go for a check-up, I just don't want to go by myself, I don't have any desire now, I just want to go for a check-up, or go for surgery, he can accompany me.

After all, I went on my own, because I wanted to determine how long I was pregnant, because Li Baitian said that the longer this matter dragged on, the more troublesome it became.

B ultrasound made it, saying that it was 42 days pregnant, and I don't know how to calculate it. I asked if Jian was healthy, and the doctor who did the ultrasound said that he couldn't see it now, and now he could be sure that there was no danger of ectopic pregnancy in the uterus.

I went to the doctor with the list, and the doctor glanced behind me, "Alone?"

Me: "Hmm. ”

The doctor may have counted, my age, come alone, usually this child just don't want it. Still, she asked, "Ready?"

I hesitated, "I haven't thought about it yet." ”

The doctor closed the medical record and handed it to me and said, "Then think about it." If you can, if you don't, the sooner you don't, the less harm you will do to your body. ”

It's pretty much common sense, I know, and I nodded.

I didn't ask a lot of words in front of the doctor, maybe I was too thin-skinned, maybe it was because I came alone, and I didn't feel confident in what I said or did.

I was sick some time ago, and I had to take medicine and injections, and I had a high fever.

I pretended to be okay and asked my mom what would happen if I got sick when I was pregnant. My mother chattered, saying that the daughter-in-law of whom's family took medicine and injections when she was pregnant earlier, and only found out that it was a deformity after a few months of pregnancy, and then she induced labor. Who is the daughter-in-law of who's family, and how is it......

I realized that I shouldn't have asked my mom about this, because my mom didn't have anything good in her mouth.

So I found the phone number of the obstetrics and gynecology department of several hospitals from the Internet, and I was able to ask questions on the phone. This time the question was comprehensive.

I asked several, and the answers were somewhat different because of the different attributes of the hospital. As for regular hospitals, that is, from the perspective of eugenics, it is recommended not to. Private hospitals are determined not to be wanted. The regular hospital said that the fetus was short, and the first time it was recommended to have a drug flow, and the private hospital said that there was a minimally invasive visual and painless one, and it should be done early.