On the night of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the streets were deserted, and passers-by hurried to their homes to eat Chinese New Year's Eve. I rubbed my frozen hands vigorously, but my steps slowed down. I suddenly don't want to go back to that deserted apartment, but where can I go?

"Boom!" is fireworks, I looked up at the sky, brilliant fireworks, prosperous and enthusiastic, but after more than ten seconds, they disappeared, and the night sky became more and more lonely.

Coming home for the Chinese New Year every year is an ordeal for me. So, I told my family that the company had more business this year and needed to work overtime, so I couldn't go home for the New Year. Although Lin Yinshuang's cold reaction on the phone was expected, she was still a little sad in her heart. It's okay if you don't go back, if you go back, you'll be the one who is redundant.

I don't know why, since I was a child, Lin Yinshuang didn't like to be close to me, other people's little girls would be coquettish with their parents, but I didn't dare, I grew up trembling and disciplined, and worked hard to become a well-behaved and sensible child, thinking that I could get my mother's love in this way, but no.

Lin Yinshuang should have been a beautiful and elegant woman when she was young, her movements were always slow and elegant, and the expression on her face was always faint and sometimes even sad. Most of the time she was very detached and indifferent to me, and sometimes she would suddenly look at me blankly, in a trance, and I was a little scared. As far back as I can remember, she never seemed to hug me, kiss me, or smile at me.

In a Chinese essay contest in the third grade of primary school, the topic was "My Mother", and my essay won the first place in the school. In the essay, my mother is very capable at work, and at home she is a smart and virtuous wife and mother, who is gentle and kind to me, will call me Xiaoqing with a pampered face, will stay by my side all night when I am sick, and will take me to playgrounds and parks on weekends, so beautiful that it fits the image of the perfect mother in the minds of every child, only I know, that is the desire of my heart, I can only use dreams as horses, and tell on the paper.

Compared with Lin Yinshuang, Xia Hongming was kind to me. Sometimes he would buy all kinds of gadgets for me, and he would touch my hair and praise me for being well-behaved and sensible. But since my brother Xia Yu came into this world when I was five years old, he didn't have time to care about me anymore.

He would hug his brother and call him baby, and when he was older, he would put him around his neck and let him ride high, and his brother would laugh so much that he couldn't stop laughing. And he's never done that to me. He was always gentle and kind to me, but he was not the same as he was to my brother.

I rubbed my face and pulled myself out of the past. Suddenly, the screen next to it lit up, and it was an advertisement for a bar, in preparation for the New Year's Eve event. I suddenly had a surge of blood, in this lonely night, lonely myself, why not feel the excitement and joy of others. Besides, I've never been to a bar yet.

As soon as the mind is hot, the decision is made on the spot. I picked up my pace and walked in the direction of the bar. The bar is just near the company, just a few minutes walk.

When I arrived at the bar at about nine o'clock in the evening, there were not many people here, so I found a corner of the bar, ordered a margarita cocktail, and took a sip lightly, the entrance was cold and slightly sour, and the faint smell of wine was very good.

The bar is filled with joyful music, and the dance floor is lit up with neon lights. It was still early, no one was dancing on the dance floor, everyone was drinking and chatting in their seats.

After drinking one glass, I ordered another one, and it tasted a little bit good.

Slowly there were more and more people, and people on the dance floor began to dance, men and women, enthusiastic and shy, flexible and dull, all kinds of people, but they all had one thing in common, they all seemed happy. Looking at their smiling faces, it seems that they are also infected.

After a few glasses of wine, the vision seems to be a little blurred, and the neon lights seem to be covered with a layer of tulle, and the lights are dense and beautiful. There seemed to be more and more people shaking under the lights, as if one person had split into two people, and the atmosphere was getting more and more enthusiastic.

I looked at the wine glass in my hand, the wine in the glass was clear and clear, clear blue, like the tears of the sea. I rubbed the rim of the cup, and a slight tingling sensation came from my fingers, and this slight tingling seemed to reach my heart through the nervous system.

There was a drop of water on the back of my hand, one, two, three. I jerked my head up, and the drops no longer dripped directly, but slid down the corners of my eyes.

Someone once said that when you feel like crying, look up at the sky, so that your tears do not fall.

But I looked up, and the tears still fell stubbornly. I had to hold my face with both hands and hold it tightly.

I fell out of love today, Ji Heng, you probably don't know, if you are as tough as me, you will actually cry.