"And then, what do we do?"

Musa looked at me, took a deep breath, and said solemnly, "Give me some time to work hard, and I will find a way to marry you." ”

"And what can you give me?"

"What do you want?"

"Can you make me work, respecting my preferences?"

"You don't need to work, but you can if you want. I was a little surprised by his answer, and then I heard him add, "But don't be in the oil industry, it's too hard." And...... There are too many men. ”

I found this statement to be a bit more enlightened than I had imagined, because according to what I had learned, women in Dubai would become housewives when they got married. And I'm never going to be idle like that.

Seeing my surprise, Moussa explained: "In the past, it was true that I was reluctant to let 'women' and 'sex' go out to work, but now even 'women' and 'sex' in the UAE can work, but it only restricts some industries." ”

I suddenly realized that I had asked the wrong question. Because my intention was not to understand the current social situation in the UAE, but to 'force' Moussa to be speechless by asking questions step by step.

I swallowed and continued to try to wake him up, "And what about your bride?" I remembered the golden 'colored' invitation, remembering her name, "What about Lemis?"

"You...... How do you know her name?"

I nunu pouted and motioned for Mosa to bring my bag. He pulled out the card from it, his fingers trembling.

"You say, should I go?" I asked him, in a calm tone. In fact, that's what I've been asking myself these days.

Mosa closed his eyes and did not answer my question: "Cece, I can only marry her first to give us leeway." Mussal grabbed my hand and tried to wrap his arms around my wounds, "You wait for me first, there must be a way to be together." ”

I pulled out the key point from his words: "So, do you still want me to be your second wife?"

Mousa bit his lip and said yes.

I broke free from his embrace and took a step back: "Then after you marry me, is it possible for you to divorce her, leaving me alone?"

Muses fell into deep thought.

Looking at his frowning and furrowed brows, I knew that this argument was not entirely impossible, and once again I felt that I had asked the wrong question. But how can I say that I didn't have the slightest hope when I asked?

After a long time, after careful consideration, he raised his head, "I never thought of doing this before, and my father should not allow it." But if you insist on it, it's not entirely impossible. ”

He answered every tricky question I asked very seriously, and he was trying to convince me with honest answers. I was a little soft-hearted, looking at his painful thinking, and suddenly I got tired of asking 'forced' questions step by step. Why do we have to hurt each other? Isn't it okay to sit down and talk openly and honestly?

I pursed my parched lips and stood up to pour a glass of water in the kitchen. Musa hurriedly stopped me, "You don't have a handy hand, I'll come." ”

When he came back with two glasses of water, the atmosphere of 'pressing' each other between the two of them had also dissipated a little. I turned on another lamp, and the light in the room was even brighter, revealing his somewhat pale look, with a little frustration and pathos.

Laughing dryly and coughing lightly, I suddenly remembered that he had a fever a few days ago, and I couldn't help asking, "Are you getting better?"

"I've been fine for a week, and you're only asking me now. ”

I hung my head a little embarrassed, and from this hanging my head, I felt a relaxation in the atmosphere. There is also a wound on my arm that he personally bandaged for me, with his warmth and my tenderness.

I clinked glasses with boiled water, and I said, "Replacing wine with water, in China, when we drink wine, we have to tell the truth." ”

I have been twisting and turning for so long, I have pressed it, I have burst out, I have endured it, I have endured it, but I have not talked about it openly and honestly. Today, since he has told all his irrational thoughts, I should also be sincere.

"Musa. I whispered his name, calmed down, and pondered the opening sentence: "I know you are working hard, and you have to endure the conflict and torment of faith. But you are not the only one who needs to endure this, and you are not the only one who wants to break through the thinking and cognition. ”

Mousa held on to the glass of water, waiting for my words.

I took a deep breath and struggled to piece together the words in my head: "There is nothing wrong with being an atheist, although I have no faith, I have my own outlook on life and values. I was taught to be monogamous since I was a child. When you think that you have sacrificed a lot and want to marry me as a second wife, can you also think about it, I also need to break through my own cognition for more than 20 years, break through my deep-rooted outlook on life? This is also a challenge of faith for me. ”

The glass of water in Mossa's hand rippled and was shaken by my words.

I chuckled and said to him in a more patient and gentle tone, "You're right, in the sandstorm truck, I'm not impulsive, I like you, from a very early age. But I didn't have the courage to approach you, especially when I learned that you were married, so I made up my mind to quit. If you're free, I want to be with you. If you don't have a marriage contract, I might actually be pestering you, trying to get closer to you. ”

I said this paragraph plainly, but in the last few sentences, my eyes couldn't help but turn red. Raising his head, he let his tears dry, and breathed a long sigh of relief in his heart. Finally, all the words were spoken. In this way, does it count as Lian Pian said that there is a beginning and an end?

Musa's hand shook at last, and a few drops of the water poured out. His expression was sad at first, his eyes closed slightly, and when he opened them again, he had a sad smile: "It's good, at least I know that you are sincere to me." ”

He said in a low voice: "Actually, it's not that I don't understand your concept of monogamy, it's just that I still want to be with you 'selfishly'. ”

He lowered his head, his fingers crossed, and he shook them hard, and the expression of sadness and frustration was unbearable. After the other lovers showed their love for each other, they all cried with joy and hugged each other and got drunk. And our opening is another form of farewell.

I walked up to him, stroked his face, and rested my head on his chest. In fact, this is what I have been longing for, after saying it calmly, let me lean in, let me stay in his arms, and enjoy this second quietly.

Mousa also gently embraced me, carefully avoiding the wound on my arm, and his stubble gently rubbed my forehead, tickling like a soothing. Then he said, "Cece, you don't want to, I understand." I know you're not a submissive 'girl', I'm sorry. ”

My cheek was pressed against his 'chest', and at the hearing of this, the tears quietly remained, and I hugged him tighter with my intact left hand. Two people, if they love each other, they can't love each other, they can't keep it if they want to, they can only cherish the light of day. At this moment, his scent, his tenderness, his sadness and trembling were all imprinted in my mind, and my heart could not forget it.

"Cece, I can't give you what you want. But you must believe that my love for you is true here and now. "His fingers ran over my hair and gently dropped a 'kiss' on my forehead, and a drop of moist water fell from his eyes to my 'lips', salty and gentle.

We embraced it quietly, longing for this moment to linger for eternity and eternity.

Then, I said to myself, Min Xixi, this time, you have to make up your mind again and leave him fiercely.

Even though the number of times I have made up my mind is that I almost don't believe that the word "determination" exists.

The night seemed to be covered by thick ink, and I couldn't sleep tossing and turning. Wake up late at night, stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling window of the room and look at the bustling night view of Dubai, and feel empty in my heart like never before.

At this time, I began to wonder why the short time I spent with Mouses was so memorable and unforgettable. I was not a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl, but it was only after I met Mouses that I really tasted the pain and torment of not being able to love and not being able to get close. Only Mouses can make my heart torment in * and reason, and in the process understand the ultimate beauty and the extreme bitterness of love.

After completely revealing my heart, I finally realized that every time I saw him, I resisted not only the 'exchange' of eyes, but also the heart that I wanted to love him. But it didn't work, because as early as that night in the indulgence of the sandstorm, my sincerity had already been 'paid'. After that, the pain that we couldn't ask for, the hurt that we were unwilling to reluctant, we magnified our love in the mutual dodging and torment, and engraved and imitated the conflict, right and wrong, and sublimation in the emotional 'sexual' sense and the rational 'sexual' thinking in the bitterness and difficulty.

Yes, taboos are our hindrances and barriers, but they are also catalysts for our feelings. Although it is only a short period of five months, the taboo has expanded this love infinitely, and it needs to be engraved with the whole heart.

What I want to do now is to reduce the growth of taboos on emotions and purify my impetuous heart.

I decided to go to the Zayed Mosque, because the taboo comes from faith, so I can be honest and feel that I may be able to be liberated.