I squatted in the corner and cried until the phone was completely out of battery, vibrated twice weakly, and turned off automatically.

My brain was 'confused', 'confused', 'cloudy', 'cloudy', and I was still 'sobbing', walking alone on the way home, feeling that I had become a 'lost' child, and I could only speak powerlessly in my heart. 'Touching' the darkness and returning home. The shadow of my mother seemed to emerge in the blur, and if I looked closely, it was really her sitting on the sofa in the living room, stunned, looking at me with no eyes. I looked at her like that.

"Sit down for a while. She stroked the spot next to her, moving like a ghost.

I sat down as I was told, and my eyes were still sore. I heard her whispering in my ear, "When are you going back to Dubai?"

I suddenly realized the passage of time, took out my phone, looked at it, and replied hesitantly, "...... Tomorrow, tomorrow afternoon, I only asked the company for ten days off, and the ticket was bought beforehand. ”

"Oh......" she sighed and didn't say anything more. The light faintly seeped in from the window, hitting the side of my mother's face, and she looked very lonely.

I couldn't bear to see her like this, so I couldn't help but call her softly, and before I could finish a word, she quickly stopped her.

"Don't say anything. She interrupted me almost pleadingly, "Don't say anything, Xixi, I just want you to stay with me for a while, just sit with me for a while...... After you leave tomorrow, I'll really be the only one left at home......"

I was silent, but the tip of my nose was even more sour. Any reassurance became superfluous, moving my body closer to her, taking her hand and making her feel my presence. After a long time, I finally said a sentence with bated breath.

"No, Mom, I'm not going to leave you alone. I am with you, and I will always be with you. You wait for me, I'll be back soon, really soon. ”

It was a choice I made and I had to be there for her.

How many hurdles do you have to cry over in your life before you can suddenly look back on that moment of realization? My parents have loved me all my life, and how can I bear to see my life alone in the future.

My mother glanced at me lightly, her blank and weak eyes, she didn't say she believed it, she didn't say she didn't believe it, she just leaned on my shoulder very tiredly, and a tear crossed the corner of her eye.

We sat all night holding hands and snuggling until the morning light was faint, and then we went to sleep.

The next day, I returned to Dubai.

I came back with a parting heart.

The round-trip ticket was booked by Moussa before, he knew the flight number, and waited there very early. When I left the airport, I saw him waving to me not far away, and my heart jumped, and I walked over with my head down.

"You can't get through on the phone, I thought that if you didn't come back today, I would go to Chongqing to find you. He carefully observed my emotions and opened the car 'door' for me, but I stood still, looked at his 'legs', and subconsciously asked, "Are you healed?"

"Okay, it's been half a month. ”

I nodded wistfully, got into the car, and exhaled. I didn't expect it to be half a month in a blink of an eye. The layers of events are overwhelming, and what I have faced and will face in the past half a month seems to have consumed half of my life's strength.

"I haven't even contacted you, thank you for remembering to pick me up. I whispered.

Hearing this, he stopped his hand that was about to turn on the engine, turned around and lifted my face, there was distress and worry in his eyes, he couldn't speak, he wanted to drown me.

"Don't say that, Cece, I understand your sadness, I'm with you. He looked at me with a sparkling gaze, "I said, I will wait for you to come back in Dubai, without my father and me, I will take good care of you." ”

At that moment, a small opening opened in my heart. The sound of a strong heartbeat pierced my chest, leaving only his clear eyes in the world. Tears uncontrollably 'covered' his eyes, and the pain between his noses was unbearable. But when the moving 'tide' receded, and I returned to my senses, I stared into his deep eyes, and instantly fell to the bottom of despair.

I did not speak any more, and went back to the Palm with Moussa. It's late autumn in Chongqing, but it's still sunny in Dubai. It's an eternal summer, with sun, sand and sea, and the past and life of Moussa come to life like a dream.

It's a dream, and there will be a day when you wake up.

I walked out onto the balcony and felt the light pass through my body, empty and floating. Musa took me in his arms from behind and quietly gave me the strength to be companyed. I didn't obey or resist, I just quietly looked out the window at the sparkling sea, my eyes were full of confusion, and I didn't know how to face his tenderness.

After a long, long time, I finally spoke, and got straight to the point.

"Moussa, actually, I am back this time to go through the resignation and breach of contract procedures. ”

His body shuddered, his arms loosened, and he threw himself over my shoulder, frowning at me, full of puzzlement.

I sighed softly, not daring to look him in the eye, and whispered, "...... I'm leaving Dubai. ”

"Why?" he reinforced, looking at me, his brow furrowing more and more, "You regretted it?"

My eyes looked ahead, and I didn't answer his words directly, for a long time, and muttered: "Musa, do you know what was the last thing my father said to me before he died?" ”

His body shook slightly, there was something strange in his eyes, he already sensed some kind of ominous consequence, his pupils dilated, and he grabbed my hand, as if comforted, as if afraid.

I couldn't stop my tears from falling and continued with difficulty: "Daddy is gone, and he 'handed over' Mom to me. Every time I think of this sentence now, I feel that it was my father's deathbed will for me, and it was the only last word he left me before he died, and I couldn't help but do it. I regret it so much that I blamed myself for not being able to be by his side in the last moments, if it weren't for the lack of money, I'm afraid I wouldn't even know that he was sick before, and even if I did, I was repeatedly told that it was just a non-dangerous operation......"

He hugged my trembling body and comforted me, "Cece, you can't be blamed for this. Birth, old age, sickness and death are arranged by Allah. All we can do is to mourn and cherish our current life. ”

I whimpered and nodded, "Yes...... I have to cherish the present, I can't repeat the mistakes of the past......"

My heart was torn, and I clutched my chest, thinking of the last night before my father's death, when I was still in the Burj Al Arab with Moussa, and that inflated guilt almost destroyed me. I can't forgive myself, not at all. In the future, even if I am shackled by emotion, I will not leave my mother again.

Raising my head, through the blurry tears, I looked at Musa who was groaning, and said softly but firmly: "Musa, now my mother is only me, I have to accompany her and take care of her, this is my father's deathbed entrustment to me, I have to live in Chongqing." ”

Musa was stunned, but after a few seconds he realized what I was talking about, hurriedly grabbed my hand, and hurriedly said, "You can bring her to Dubai, and we will take care of her together." ”

"I've thought so before, and I've asked them back when they just allowed us to be together. A weak smile tugged at the corners of my lips and I shook my head, "It's okay to come and see once in a while, but they won't want to stay long." ”

He continued to try to give advice: "But at that time your parents were there, and now your mother is the only one with you, she may have changed her mind and is willing to go with you." ”

"It was because they were all there at that time that I wanted to take them together, at least with a companion. But now, even if my mom wanted to, I couldn't bear to let her go. Fragments of memories stuck in my mind, and I burst into tears and muttered, "My mom was a salesman before she retired, and she loves to talk to people the most." She doesn't even speak Mandarin, she can only speak dialects, and she doesn't know how to use a computer. But when she went abroad, she couldn't talk to anyone but me. The last time she and her dad came to see me in Dubai, they only stayed for a day, their throats were dry and hoarse, and they soon became ill. How can I bear it, how can I bear to let her endure the loneliness and pain of a strange country for me?"

Moses was already flustered, and his words blurted out, but he became more and more powerless: "That...... Then we will find a few nannies for her, find the best nanny to accompany her, there are things that will not be hidden from us, and you can also come back from time to time. ”

I sighed and shook my head weakly again: "Musa, you were born in Dubai, you have so many brothers and sisters, it is difficult to understand the dependence of Chinese parents on their only child, which is not something that can be replaced by nannies...... "I choked...... gritted my teeth, trying to keep my composure, "Musa, I'm sorry, I have to be with her......"

There was a deep sorrow in Moses' eyes, and he lowered his eyelids, and slowly, slowly, let go of the hand that was holding me. I couldn't bear his trembling body, but I couldn't comfort him, and the self-blame and guilt for my father demanded that I have to make up for it in another form. I can't allow myself to make the same mistake again, and I don't want to live in self-condemnation for the rest of my life.

There was silence.

Moses was silent, but I knew that he would understand me, and that he had always been a man of filial piety. But understanding does not mean acceptance, and his reluctance to part with me is just as reluctant to part with him as it is a matter of struggle and helplessness.

Time stood still for a long time, and I was hoarse, and cautiously spoke again: "Mosa, it's not that I don't love you anymore, it's just that I can't love you anymore." But if, if......" I pondered, with a vague thought in my heart, "if, you can come to China......"

This is the second time I've asked him this question, and I asked him two years ago when the idea of 'eloping' popped into my head. He had refused, and now, his shoulders had collapsed, and his Adam's apple was squirming slightly. In an instant, there was still a dead silence.

I watched his reaction and knew that this idea was unrealizable. His faith, his family, his life, were all obstacles. Don't look over, I didn't ask any more, I got up and walked to the inner room of the guest room, the 'door' slammed behind me, and something in my heart collapsed with it, leaning against the hard wall, tightening my body, tears welling up in my eyes. F