In the middle of the night, I had a terrible headache, and I was sleeping in the guest room, when I suddenly felt a person lying lightly behind me.

I am familiar with his body, but I don't dare to turn around at this time, my body is stiff, and I don't know what to do.

The pillow was wet, and he hugged me from behind, his face buried between my hair, and the breath he exhaled made me tremble.

I didn't struggle, closed my eyes, kept this posture, felt him, felt him, and couldn't bear such a smell and temperature. In the dark, under the moon, the sound of his breathing was mixed with the sound of the sea and tide crashing on the beach, and I was embraced by my thin body.

"I understand, Cece. He whispered, his lips on the back of my neck, "You're leaving, but you still love me, I know." He sighed, "Of the four brothers and sisters in my family, I have never experienced the feeling of being an only child. But if I were you, I would make the same choice. I'm just, reluctant to ...... you"

The place where he touched it 'stirred' up with a shiver and fine beads of sweat, I buried my head in the pillow fiercely, bit my 'lip' and cried silently. How can I be willing to leave him? Although love is not the whole of life, my love is all his.

"There's one more thing I didn't tell you. He whispered in my ear, "My parents really agreed to let us get engaged, just after you left." ”

My internal organs seemed to be stirring, and I was about to turn around when I heard him bury his head behind me and say, "But there is one condition...... After getting married, they want you not to work. Because marrying you has caused a lot of doubts in my family, and they can't accept you to go out and show your face again. I tried my best, but they said if you keep working, you have to marry me again......"

His body stiffened suddenly, and he sighed again: "Working after marriage is something I promised you, but I can't fight for it, and I haven't told you about it, but now I can finally say it." However, Cece, just because I can't fight for it doesn't mean I don't love you. ”

I stood still, feeling my floating hope pause for a moment, and then dim, dim, and turn into a hoarse dot.

In this world, there are some problems that do not always need to be proven, for example, happiness is always so short and fragile, no matter how serious and careful people are.

Quietly, Mosa held me in this position, choked up and said, "I love you, Cece, at the sound of the tide lapping at the water." ”

After speaking, the arm was gently 'withdrawn' from me, the temperature of the back was gradually gone, and the footsteps were like nothing.

I was terrified, all the bone marrow meridians seemed to be 'drained', and finally I couldn't bear it anymore, so I turned around and grabbed him. He turned his head slowly, and in an instant, we both saw the exhaustion on each other's faces.

After going through so much, now, we no longer have 'intense' emotions, only deep nostalgia and helplessness. There are too many struggles in the past, but there is a kind of relief and peace when they return to the present.

Nothing happens overnight, and all options are built up step by step. Depressed and heavy, submerging our originally clear pupils. Everyone wants the purest feelings, but reality is always a cruel test.

"Musa......" I grabbed his skin, my voice shaking, "you may not want to hear it, but I want you to know that you will always be a part of me, no matter what the future holds." You are the first person I love with all my heart, and perhaps the last. Because of you, I really realized the feeling of loving someone, there may be a long pain, but the happiness you give me is also the greatest happiness in the world. Feeling his tight muscles loosen up, I slowly let go of my hand and said seriously, "Musa, even if we can't stay together in the future, I will always be in my heart...... Reserve that most special place for you. ”

He looked at me steadily, his gaze gradually changing from weakness to tenderness, and the light glittered under the long eyelashes. Slowly, he sat down, hugged my body again, closed his eyes for a long time, and whispered, "Cece, you mean to me what I do to you." I don't regret it. ”

The pain and feeling of fine flesh rose from the bottom of my heart, as if there were countless words 'desire' gushing out, but when I came, I felt that the words were difficult.

This kind of emotion is too profound and too eroded to the bone, and it loses the possibility of accurate expression. But I know, we all do.

You can't ask for it, you can't keep it, you can't stay for a long time. Fate has woven our originally disparate lives into a blood-red pattern, but it has also brought us unprecedented growth and understanding.

Outside the window, the moonlight is hazy, and the trail is like a wisp.

The rest of the formalities were handled by Mousa with me. Went to the company, to the bank, to the embassy, little by little to get out of the city. If you end your job in Dubai early, you will pay a certain amount of default. If you are studying abroad, because of the scholarship, the penalty will be a little higher, but now I have been staying for more than three years, which is not too much. When I return to my home country, I can work and return at the same time.

Pack your bags and buy your ticket. He sent me away on a golden twilight.

The city's skyscrapers are like space monsters, hidden by glass. I finally made the journey to leave, like so many people who come and go in Dubai. The amazement and longing of the first time I came here gradually turned to dust, drifted away with the wind, and returned to the desert.

Here are too many people's dreams, making everything impossible possible, sun, sand, seawater, **. But Dubai means something to me differently than most people. It was here that I met Mouses, and he made my life shine, and the pain and joy came from him. I am deeply moved by the city, without its openness and taboos, there would be no love between me and Mouses.

This is a magnificence and understanding that no amount of scenery can replace.

Inside the car, there was a stagnant and deep silence.

"Cece," Moussa said suddenly, as he drove the car, "will I discuss something with you?"

"Hmm. ”

"Wait a minute," Moussa hesitated, "I won't get out ......of the car when I get to the airport." Okay?"

After a pause, I was silent and nodded slightly.

The afterglow of the setting sun shines through the car window, revealing a golden silhouette.

When I first arrived in Dubai, the sun was so hot that I couldn't open my eyes. This time, it's so soft that people don't want to open their eyes. I'm afraid to open my eyes and see his face, and tears can't help but fall out.

More than three years have been like a prosperous dream, but it has given me the deepest love in this life.

Before you know it, the terminal is in front of you, and the end has arrived.

We stared at each other, our hands clasped.

After a long hesitation, he asked, "Cece, when will I see you again?"

"What do you say?"

He stared at the steering wheel and thought, "I don't know. He looked up and whispered, "If you come back to Dubai, remember to look for me." ”

My heart ached, I pretended to be calm, tried to smile and said, "Doesn't your company have a business in China? If one day, you are going to come to China on a business trip, or ......" I paused, swallowed "come to see me", and continued, "Anyway, if you come to China, remember to call me......

I didn't get a response from him, I squeezed my arm with my hand, didn't say goodbye, opened the car 'door', and got out of the car alone.

He was silent and did not speak.

Every step away from Mousa seemed so far away.

He didn't get out of the car until he walked to the airport 'gate'. I looked back and saw that his car was still parked in the distance, silently staring at it. We didn't say goodbye, and perhaps neither of us wanted to believe that the relationship had come to an end.

The rays of the setting sun spread across the corners of the city, moving slowly and heavily, as if unwilling to disappear.

Without goodbye, there is no end. But what the future holds, we don't know.

I wiped the corners of my eyes, took a hard breath of air, tried to resist the urge to go back and hug him, gritted my teeth, and dragged my luggage into the airport. After taking two steps, tears clouded my eyes, and I couldn't help but turn my head to look.

Gradually, it became clear to me that Musa had finally stepped out of the car and stood beside it, looking at me from afar, just watching, not speaking. The twilight "color" wrapped the whole of him in the "color" of the dying sky, and thousands of emotions were precipitated in the deep eyes.

Slowly, I saw him look at me fixedly, lip syncing the word "Iill."

If he comes to China, he will remember to look for me.

Whatever the reason for coming, one sentence is enough.

Tears rained down, I looked at him from a certain distance, thinking about the gentle appearance of his 'lips' when I first met, and now it has been covered by the vicissitudes of life and the flow of the world. Dubai is still prosperous, taboos are still there, and the old atmosphere is still the same, but he and I can't live here anymore.

Musa, when your heart is really aching and tears are about to fall, then quickly look up and look at this sky that we all share. No matter where we are, we all have the same expanse above our heads. As long as the sun is just right in Dubai, don't shed a tear because my departure didn't take your world with you.

***

Back in China, it happens to be the season for recruitment. International students can still be a fresh graduate within two years of graduation, and I quickly found a good job and worked hard to start a new life.

The weather in Chongqing is humid and mild, with four distinct seasons. 'Woman' in short skirt, man drinking beer, high mountain slope, green trees and riverside. Here, there are no beaches and seawaters, no men in white robes and 'women' in black robes, you can eat pig meat and drink beer everywhere, and you can no longer hear the melodious sound of the salute five times a day.

I will still be used to 'sexually' worshipping, just as I did when I was with Moses. Five moments of the day are considered as a period of quiet rest. I don't eat pork anymore, and although I don't wear a headscarf, I still wear long-sleeved pants in the summer, which is good as sunscreen. No matter what, life still has to go on, no matter how difficult it is, how much I miss it. Over time, the sadness will slowly fade away, and it may never go away, but it will get better after a while.

After my father's death, my mother had several illnesses and various weaknesses caused by overthinking. Usually everything was supported by her father, but now it seems that something has been 'pumped' out of a piece, making her whole body collapse, and she can't calm down for a long time. When I'm there, she's happier and more dependent on me than she used to be. I am glad that I am with her, this choice, there is a deep regret as a price, but I will not regret it. I didn't try a new relationship, and I knew that in the future, maybe I would never meet someone like Mousa again, but he gave me a feeling that I could keep in my heart for the rest of my life. All the feelings in the future, no matter how lingering, will no longer hurt the muscles and bones.

Neither of us ever called each other again.

Sometimes I hold my phone and try to say something to him, but I still won't call. Over time, it will also settle down and no longer be impatient.

I always remember how he responded to me before I left Dubai, I lived my life seriously, let it be, and believed that if we met again one day, we could reconnect with each other.

Lian Pian later reconciled with me, and she and Jia Yi went back and forth for a few years, and finally achieved positive results and registered their marriage. She said: There have been twists and turns, there have been separations, and there have been feelings of comprehension, and in the end, people cherish them.

But in stark contrast, Yin Qianyan and Yan Hua actually divorced. Yin Qianyan told me: When I didn't get it at the beginning, I felt that it was very fresh and exciting, and when I got it, the obstacles in my life were gone, and there was no enthusiasm at the beginning, only reality and quarrels. When love is at its most beautiful, it should exist in memories.

I look at their love, and sometimes I can't tell whether the kind of love that is so hot that it almost burns life is better to be together or not together.

Love can be eternal, eternal because it is broken;

Love can also be long-lasting, because it has gone through thorns and returned to shallow happiness.

But I know that whether we are together or not, Musa is in my memory, and he has not passed away in time. What we have experienced, though never returned, will not disappear into nothingness. As long as the heart is still full of emotion, everything is worth it.

One day, when I was shopping in the mall with my mother, I met Yun Yushu. He returned to China at about the same time as me, and soon fell in love, accompanied by a 'girl' who was eating ice cream, and I heard that it was his younger sister again, who admired his cooking skills and was a snack seller.

"You've finally come to your senses, Shioshi. He looked at me with a smile, saw that the little girl was trying on cosmetics, turned his head and whispered to me, "Look, I'm in love fast." The old does not go and the new does not come, people must look forward!"

I smiled at him and didn't nod or shake my head. Watching his little 'girlfriend' friend jump up and grab him, even his mother 'showed' a smile.

Ayub called me and said he was getting married, and that he was a local 'girl'. He had met her three times and had a 'very' pleasant conversation.

"Congratulations on your wedding. I said it with joy, hesitated for a moment, and after a while, I couldn't help but ask him, "What...... What about Moses? Is he okay?"

"I live seriously and do what I have to do. "Before you met him, he was lazy, he didn't like to do things, and he didn't worry about food and clothing. Now he has become diligent, in fact, you have brought him a lot of positive energy. After you left, Moses said something to me. ”

I bit my lower lip, held my breath, and asked him, "What?"

He said that if I hadn't met Cece, I might have had another life, and I would have lived according to my parents' arrangement. But whether it turns out or not, give him another chance, and he'd rather meet you. Ayub smiled, "When he said that, even I regretted it a little." ”

I shot back with a smile: "Nonsense, your bride is still waiting for you." The next second, I covered my mouth on the other end of the phone, my eyes unconsciously reddened, but I felt very relieved and made up my mind to live harder.

The weather in March in the world, with a light rain and fog and a faint morning light, the sycamore and ginkgo spit out new shoots, delicate and tender, very lovely. The mood also brightened, and there seemed to be some joy and hope gradually accumulating.

Suddenly, the bell rang. I pulled out my phone and saw that the caller showed a name that I hadn't seen for a long time, and my fingers trembled.

The longing mood and the long friendship rose, spreading the hustle and bustle and tranquility of the whole heart.

“Cece。 ”

His voice came from the other end, familiar, old, gentle.

Suddenly it began to rain in the sky.

-----THE END-----

The ending of the prototype.

They didn't end up together.

Her father was sick, and she witnessed the death of her father bit by bit, hating herself for not being able to fulfill her filial piety, and her mother was more dependent on her. These are similar to the main story.

The difference was that he rushed to Chongqing to attend her father's funeral with her.

A small percentage of Muslims in the country are not allowed to attend the funerals of their non-Muslim parents at all. But in fact, in Arabia, they are more tolerant and are allowed to participate in mourning, but they are not allowed to do things that are contrary to Islamic behavior.

He was present, and in order to take into account his feelings, she stood far away at her father's funeral, and was not allowed to cry, wear filial piety, burn paper, bow, kowtow, eat and drink.

Her mother, red-eyed from tears, looked at her from afar, and her relatives around her angrily accused her of being ruthless.

She couldn't do anything, crying, and couldn't help but want to kneel up and kowtow a few times, or burn paper for her father.

Grabbed by his wrist, he said, don't be like this, although you don't believe in Allah in your heart, keep your words and deeds, kowtow and burn paper, these can't be done.

At that moment, she suddenly felt like her heart was dead.

Knowing that from his point of view, these are indeed not allowed, but he can't help but be disappointed.

And before that, she already knew that if they got married, his family insisted that she give up her job and not show her face easily. , in order to downplay the conflict, I reversed the order.

She looked at her deceased father from afar, unable to get close, the exhaustion of past savings was about to be triggered, looking at her mother who was crying alone in front of her father's portrait, thinking that when her mother died in the future, there could not even be a person bowing in front of the grave, and the 'daughter' could only look at the lonely grave from a distance, how sad.

He let her doctrinal words and actions chill her at this time.

She offered him a separation.

He eventually agreed to set her free.

The two were never in touch again.

Originally, I was going to write like this, but in the end I omitted this paragraph and added the last one where the two people connected. I only use the most simple and simple language to describe it here, firstly, because I don't want to create so many religious conflicts and discussions, and secondly, because in the end, I still want to leave everyone with a thoughtful ending, and I don't want to completely block it into a tragedy.

Attentive readers may find that Moussa's indulgence in the Burj Al Arab is limited to the heart, but the observance of words and deeds is still required, so the problems of wearing a black robe and a headscarf and avoiding food and drink still exist, and there is no change from the past, in addition, Moussa's accusations when he learned of the loss of his children, the panic of the police station, and the prohibition of work after marriage are all 'inducing' reasons, and the death of his father is just the last straw.

But I didn't emphasize or mention it again, because I wanted to create the illusion that they were broken at the most beautiful and closest to happiness, without the exhaustion of the torture of faith, and the love for each other was still strong, and both of them had the hope of a future reunion.

Instead of being like the prototype, after deep love, physically and mentally exhausted separation, when reunited, there will be no more thoughts.

I might as well have a little bit of anticipation, right? So that I can feel better myself, and imagine that they are separated with full love, and yearn for a reunion.

For the rest of the content, the prototype just gave me a rough framework, and the details are mostly fictional, so don't dwell too much on reality.

And the blank ending is to wish a lover a family eventually, perhaps, in another parallel world, they are already together. F