In the park on weekends, there are a lot of people walking, there are families, there are people who are in love, and there are also many classmates who travel together, the cost is not much, but it is also interesting!

Zhao Hong and his wife are playing in the park with five children, which is still very eye-catching, compared to the era when China is still the strictest only child, and the average family has only one child. Especially in Haishi, this point is even more prominent, so many people are curious to ask this question.

After a simple explanation, everyone understands that in addition to envy, it is envy, after all, this is the advantage of immigrating abroad, as long as you have the will and ability, it is your freedom and your right to have a few children! There are even a lot of subsidies!

And the disadvantages of being an only child in China are gradually beginning to be revealed with the growth of the post-80s.

The doting and pampering of grandparents can easily make children become selfish; they are too obedient to their children in the early stage, making it difficult for them to develop the consciousness of respecting their elders and abiding by discipline; without the run-in of siblings, it is not easy to develop the spirit of cooperation with others; it is easy for children to form dependence because of the arrangement of adults; too high expectations for children, too much time to participate in learning, and let children lack due time for games and entertainment.

Due to the overprotection of parents in China, especially the elderly of the next generation, children have few hands-on opportunities at home other than learning activities. Especially for children before the age of 3, parents think that the baby is still young, should live a life of "clothes to reach out, food to open the mouth", who does not know that in this way, will seriously hit the child's self-confidence: children feel that they have left the care of adults, they will not do anything, can not live, they feel that they are incapable from the heart.

The research of psychologists has confirmed that self-confidence is the key factor to achieve success in work and school, and to achieve happiness in life, and a child's self-confidence is established in the process of completing one thing after another and solving one problem after another.

In Zhao Hong's house, the couple is a pair of "lazy" parents. Let the child be self-reliant, do his own things from an early age, let the child dress and eat by himself, etc. For example, from the age of 2 onwards, let the child eat with a spoon on their own, and the couple should no longer be so "industrious" to feed the child. When you reach the age of 4, let your child practice using chopsticks by himself. Although eating and dressing are trivial things in their eyes, for children up to the age of 3, these are important tasks.

As the first generation of only children grows up, it is common to see domestic media coverage. Some people become discouraged, depressed, or even commit suicide because of their poor tolerance for setbacks. The poor tolerance for frustration in the only child is already evident in the only child, and these problems will become more pronounced as the group of only children expands.

Only children, generally grow up in the praise of parents, many parents put "baby you are awesome!" on the mouth, even if the child does something wrong, but also unprincipled protection of the child, for fear that the child will be a little wronged. For example, when adults speak, children arbitrarily interrupt the conversation of adults, casually interject, at this time how many parents can seriously carry out the necessary etiquette education for their children? Many parents are smiling and waiting for the baby to express their "high opinions", and after listening, they do not forget to praise a few words "The baby said so well!"

Because children have little experience and limited abilities, they are still in the process of development, and we should help and correct the mistakes they make on the basis of respecting them. For example, in the example above, when an adult is talking, the child interjects indiscriminately, and the non-critical approach is to firmly tell the child: "Please wait 2 minutes, we will finish the matter, and then listen to you carefully", instead of simply saying rudely, "You child, why are you so annoying!" and "Don't interrupt when adults are talking!"

If the child waits quietly for 2 minutes, then the adult should fulfill his promise to listen carefully to the child's conversation, and if the child is unable to do so, tell him that because he cannot wait quietly, the adult will have to spend more time on his own business and will not be able to listen to him. In doing so, both respecting the child and telling him the right thing to do, is the real non-criticism education.

Now the only child is more materially rich, but spiritually more lonely. Due to the simple family structure, no siblings, and lack of peers, only children are prone to loneliness. From an early age, they are accustomed to being accompanied by television, game consoles, and playing alone, and in real life, they lack the basic skills to socialize with others.

For children's mental loneliness, on the one hand, parents can learn more about their children's age and psychological characteristics, accompany their children to participate in their favorite activities, and be their children's real friends; on the other hand, parents should strive to create an environment for their children to interact with peers, and the interaction with peers will make children learn from each other and benefit a lot, and parents can also communicate with each other and learn from each other's parenting experience.

Due to the more diverse ways of contacting the world, they have accumulated a lot of natural knowledge at a young age, they know what is the unsolved mystery of the world, they know the biological characteristics of the sky and the sea, however, too much knowledge learning occupies children's outdoor activity time, and when conducting early childhood development assessments, it is found that children's physical fitness is generally worse than that of children 20 years ago.

Before the child is 3 years old, you should help the child develop the habit of liking outdoor activities and sports games, climbing mountains, swimming in the water, even if you chase me downstairs and run a few laps, you can exercise the child's physical fitness. After the child is 5 or 6 years old, you can help the child choose an easy-to-stick physical activity, such as playing ball, swimming, taekwondo or dancing, so that the child can exercise a good body in order to take on heavy study and work tasks in the future.

An only child, under the care of grandparents, grandparents and parents, is an absolute center, and the trend of the stars holding the moon is particularly significant. It is only natural for children who grow up in such an environment to see only themselves and no one else. The characteristic of self-centeredness can be extended to the characteristic of selfishness, and if we only think about ourselves and not others, isn't it selfish? In fact, think about it, can a selfish person win the support of everyone in society?

If you want to raise unselfish children, you need to update your concepts, for example, if you buy something delicious at home, don't rush and stuff it into the mouth of a 2-year-old child first, but reflect the order of the family's elders and youngsters: the old man has worked hard all his life, the first one is for the elderly, the father is hard to bear the burden of supporting the family, and the second is for the father...... If children grow up in this orderly environment, then they will not think about themselves in advance, but think about the rules first and follow the rules.

If it weren't for the fact that he had five children, three boys and two girls, Zhao Hong's family might have more problems, but because there were many children, and experienced fathers-in-law and mothers-in-law helped manage them, they were still very experienced in many aspects.

At least for now, it seems that the effect is good, most of them don't have the problem of being an only child in China, even the original tsundere Xiaoxi is becoming more and more like a sister!