When I entered the workforce from university, I officially said goodbye to the campus era. Leaving the campus also means that I will say goodbye to the most innocent era. I'm also ready for a new life. But I didn't expect that as soon as I stepped into society, I encountered something that did not match my values. As for me, I am a stubborn person, and once I have decided on one thing, I will not easily change my opinion.

The first time I entered the post, the first time I entered the operating room, the first time I encountered such a thing. For many people, this kind of thing is just the most ordinary little thing in the world. There aren't many people who take this as a particularly big deal.

But I firmly believe that babies are the crystallization of love, and they should not pay for their parents' confused youth. And I'm not going to use my own hands to stop them from coming to this new world.

Perhaps, I am an emotional person and am not destined to stay in this place. What about me? I'm destined to be the worst doctor ever.

Today's events have touched me a lot, and they have touched my soul. Dad was right, my generation didn't know what true love was.

At that time, the carriages and horses were very slow, the letters were far away, and I could only love one person in my life. And now, the carriages and horses are fast, the letters are fast, and it is difficult for us to fit one person in our lives.

Fortunately, I didn't lose her, nor did I lose myself.

No matter how fast the world changes, I also believe that there will be so-called love.

I can't change others, at least I can change myself. Because of them, I also understand how precious true love is. Simply, I'm not that kind of person. But I knew that my soul was too fragile to get over it.

Here, after all, it doesn't belong to me, and it doesn't belong to me.

Back in obstetrics and gynecology, it was already half past twelve. Except for a few doctors and nurses who stayed on duty, the others were resting. I thought a lot about it during this hour and a half break. Perhaps, I shouldn't be emotional, I should just treat what I'm doing now as a job.

However, how can I not be emotional in such a job? I am destined to be a person who cannot control my emotions.

At two o'clock in the afternoon, I consulted Ji Xiaoyu about applying for transfer. After listening to what I said, Ji Xiaoyu asked, "Have you thought about it?"

I said, "I've thought about it." It's really not for me here. ”

Ji Xiaoyu could understand my mood and feelings, and did not persuade me to stay, and said with a smile: "You are the first person to leave the obstetrics and gynecology department on the first day." You've hit an all-time high in obstetrics and gynecology. ”

I said, "Who called me useless?" ”

Ji Xiaoyu said with a smile: "The saint has clouds, and he can't be arrogant. Perhaps, this is really not for you. But what?"

I saw that she was halfway through her speech, her face was solemn, as if something bad had happened, and she hurriedly asked, "But what." ”

"If you want to apply for a transfer, the director is not easy to pass. Ji Xiaoyu said: "In the past five years, the director has been recruiting, and the male doctors who come to the obstetrics and gynecology department have always been unable to retain. You! Saddened the director again. ”

I said in my heart: "If the director is not sad, it is time for me to be sad." ”

Ji Xiaoyu seemed to see through my inner thoughts, and said: "People want to be happy when they live, and they can't wronged themselves in order to make others happy." Dr. Jiang wants to transfer departments, and I support you. Your own youth, your own decisions. ”

I said, "Thank you." ”

Subsequently, Ji Xiaoyu told me about the procedures for applying for transfer, and she repeatedly instructed that when she handed over the report to the director, she must show a very aggrieved look. Although I don't understand the meaning of Ji Xiaoyu's words, I believe that she will make sense if she speaks.

After thanking Ji Xiaoyu, I left and went to print the application.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, I saw the director come to the office and knocked on the door. Soon, I heard a voice coming from the room inviting me in.

Director Lei saw me and asked, "Xiao Jiang, are you still used to this department?"

I saw the director's tone, like the love of the elders for the juniors, and I didn't know how to answer. The environment and atmosphere of this department is impeccable, but I don't belong here.

If I promise to get used to it, then how should I submit the application to the director. If I say that I am not used to it, it will not hurt Director Lei's heart.

I was silent for a while, and said in my heart: "Director Lei should understand my feelings." ”

Seeing that I didn't answer, Director Lei looked at what I was holding in my hand and asked, "Xiao Jiang, do you have something to do with me?"

I respectfully handed over the application in my hand and did not speak.

Director Lei took the application in my hand, looked at it, and asked, "Xiao Jiang, isn't it good here?"

I said, "It's good here." But, not for me. ”

"I can understand your mood and feelings. After all, this job is indeed a bit..."Director Lei put down the application, "Xiao Jiang, don't put too much heavy burden on your heart. At the beginning, it will be a little uncomfortable, but after a while, it will be fine, and you will not have to think about it properly. ”

I thought of Ji Xiaoyu's words, and said aggrievedly: "Director, I..."

I deliberately paused and didn't say anything else. When Director Lei saw my pitiful appearance, he expressed deep sympathy and sighed: "I am indeed embarrassed for you." You are a young man in your twenties, and you are not talking about marriage, and this job will bring you a lot of troubles in your life. In our department, why can't we keep male doctors, I have been thinking about this question all the time. When I saw you, I finally figured it out. Youth, be responsible for yourself. Otherwise, I will live up to my youth and myself. ”

I said, "Thank you, Director, for your understanding. ”

"Okay!" Director Lei opened my application, "I agreed." ”

"Thank you, Director. "I thought there would be a lot of twists and turns, but I didn't expect the director to agree quickly. At this time, I admired Ji Xiaoyu even more. If it weren't for her good understanding of the director's temper, it would have taken me some effort to leave the obstetrics and gynecology department.

"Xiao Jiang! There are some things that are destined to be done. You're leaving, and I don't blame you. After all, obstetrics and gynecology can be uncomfortable. Some things are too much to see, and they will also be numb. You're a young man full of energy, and you really shouldn't stay here to find yourself unhappy. Director Lei wrote the word "agree" on the application form, and said on the other hand: "I support your decision." I also believe that you are a person who is responsible for your youth. ”

I said, "Thank you, Director." ”

Director Lei handed me the written application and said, "You give this application to the medical department, and they will arrange your next department." ”

"Thank you. "I took the application and left the office.

As I was leaving, I vaguely heard the director sigh and say, "It's a pity!

When I left the director's office, I didn't leave immediately, but came to the place where Mr. Jiang worked. When Mr. Jiang saw me appear, he gave me another piece of information for me to take a good look at.

Teacher Jiang looked at me and asked, "Are you in a better mood?" ”

I said, "Much better." ”

Teacher Jiang said again: "Today, my words are a little heavier, don't take it to heart." ”

I thought about it again, what did Mr. Jiang mean by this. Is she comforting me?

"When you first came out of work, this phenomenon is very common for you. The first time, it's always like this. Wait a while and it will be fine. You have to relax and don't burden yourself too much. Now, I can answer your question. ”

I don't know why, I can't say a word.

Teacher Jiang said again: "You ask me, do we save people or kill people." I've been a doctor for more than 20 years, and no one has asked me this question. You were the first person to ask me such a question. In your opinion, we are preventing new life from coming into this world, which is murder. But, I can tell you unequivocally, we are here to save people. There is a saying that life is equal, provided that there is a choice. ”

Seeing that I didn't understand, Mr. Jiang said, "Our choice should respect the opinions of patients. Although the patient's choice seems unreasonable, there is no better choice for them. The greatest thing in the world is maternal love, and there is a mother who is willing to sacrifice her child. ”

"We don't know what a mother can go through when she sacrifices her child. They are going to sacrifice their children, and they will have their own considerations. We cannot interfere with the patient's decision-making, let alone peek into the patient's private life. What we have to do is to ensure the safety and health of patients, and other issues are not something we can consider and decide. ”

On the other hand, they were left behind by their parents' youthful confusion. They are misfortunes. It's not a bad thing that they don't come into this world. Rather than being born, having no one to raise, being lonely, and tasting the warmth and coldness of human affection, it is better not to come to this world. ”

I thought about what Teacher Jiang said, and she was right. They shouldn't have to pay for their parents' confused youth. There are parents to give birth, but there are no parents to raise, how bleak it is. Their arrival in a muddle may have brought pain to many people. Our hands have indirectly eliminated the suffering of many people.

There are some things that cannot be understood and cannot be forgiven. It can only be said that they are unlucky.

I said, "Thank you, Mr. Jiang, for telling me so much, I'm leaving." ”

Teacher Jiang looked at me for a while and asked, "What did you say?" ”

I said, "I applied to the director for a transfer to the department, and I would like to thank Mr. Jiang for his teachings. ”

Teacher Jiang asked, "What did the director say?" ”

I said, "The director agreed." ”

Teacher Jiang was surprised: "Will she agree?"

Seeing that Teacher Jiang's eyes were obviously not convinced, I handed her the application form and said, "Thank you, Teacher Jiang, for my first class." ”

Teacher Jiang asked, "You can't hold a grudge against me for saying a few words to you!"

I said, "No." ”

"That's why. ”

"This place doesn't belong to me. ”

Teacher Jiang seemed to think that the words I said were particularly funny, and shook his head and said, "Young man, it is not easy to find your own place. ”

I said, "Then I'll try to find a place that belongs to me." ”

"I admire you, the courage of youth. Teacher Jiang was infected by my expression and said with a smile: "Congratulations on finding your own place as soon as possible." ”

"Thank you, I will. ”

"You can say goodbye to me before you leave, you're not bad young man. Teacher Jiang smiled and said, "Go ahead, young man, take advantage of your youth to find your own place." Youth, be responsible for yourself. ”

I nodded and turned to leave. Yes, I'm still young, how can I let myself down. Life is still a long time, and there will definitely be a place for me. Youth is one's own, and you have to be responsible for yourself.