The group of women at the door of the small shop continued to discuss, and the small and fragmented voices could not be heard really, but they could feel the cool breeze blowing from their backs.

Chang An closed his fingers together and pinched a handful of sweat in his palm.

When you are about to walk out of the alley, you can see the shadows cast on the bluestone slabs, who said that where there are shadows, there will be sunlight?

Chang An took a deep breath, suddenly turned his head, and walked back into the alley.

The wind blew through the hall, she was wearing a hooded coat that day, light apricot, knee-length, not new in the season, but the clothes were bought by Chang An several years ago, from the version material to the fabric are excellent, so it still looks good on the body after so many years.

The most important thing is that it has texture, and it feels like the hem can sweep out the wind when you go up the steps.

She walked steadily through the small benches under the shed, and stood up on the steps.

"Please get a pack of cigarettes!"

A few people chatting energetically under the shed didn't expect her to suddenly turn back, her face stiffened for a moment, and the most ugly face was the supermarket proprietor, she rolled the boots on her knees, stiffened for a few seconds, until someone next to her elbowed her, "Buy cigarettes!"

The proprietress then patted the ashes and stood up, twisted her waist and went back to the store.

The inside of the shop was much darker than the outside, gloomy and cold, and the proprietress stood at the counter with a calm face and asked, "What kind of smoke?"

Chang An: "Double happiness!"

The proprietress snorted visibly and took a box from the cabinet and threw it on the counter.

"Twelve pieces of five!"

Chang An paid the money and didn't leave immediately, but stood there very skillfully tearing off the plastic film on it, smoking one and lighting it, taking a sip, the white mist spit out, and she leaned against the wall under the porch.

Now there were steps, and the women on either side of the steps looked at her scrubbingly.

She was still standing on the top of the steps, and her position was much higher, so she held a cigarette, exhaled her eyes, and raised her chin as if she were wide-eyed, "Go on, don't stop!"

The women looked at each other at first, and then at the proprietress of the shop.

The proprietress first glanced at Chang An, and then lowered her head and pretended to be sorting out the goods in the cabinet.

The scene was a little awkward for a while.

In the end, the one who hugged the child outside stood up first, "It's not too early, my son and daughter-in-law are coming back soon, I'll go back to cook dinner first." ”

“…… I still have to go to the vegetable market, and I'll go first. ”

"Go to the vegetable market, I just want to go grocery shopping, let's ...... together"

In a short time, all the people who had gathered together were scattered, leaving only a few small stools that were messily placed, and the noise and ridicule that had been lingering in the ears disappeared in an instant, and the small alley was still in front of them.

Chang An leaned against the wall and exhaled softly, look, in fact, it is not particularly difficult not to hide, hide or escape.

Chang An smoked half of the cigarette in his hand, threw most of it into the open space next to him and crushed it with his toes, and then turned around and glanced at the store.

The embarrassed man who fled in the wilderness......

Chang An couldn't help laughing, these people are really funny.

……

Chang An walked out of the alley with his coat pocket, turned a corner, the road was spacious, although the crowd was still crowded, but the sun above his head shone obliquely, and layers of golden light wrapped around people.

Chang An was stunned to block it with her hand, the light in the alley was dim, and there was no surrounding wall to block it, so it was almost straight down, she squinted her eyes and adapted for a while, and then let the five fingers blocking the forehead obliquely open to reveal a little slit, and the golden light like quicksand leaked down from the fingers, shining into Chang An's eyes little by little.

Chang An couldn't help but think at the time, it was still snowing some time ago, and the northwest wind was blowing and felt that it was going to be the end of the world, but in the blink of an eye, the ice and snow melted, and the warm sun gave people an illusion, as if winter was gone, and tomorrow would enter the warm spring.

Chang An put the box of cigarettes in his satchel, walked along the road at the mouth of the alley, passed two red lights, and finally found the tricycle selling flowers at the corner of the street.

"Auntie, wrap me in a bouquet of flowers. ”

The owner of the flower stall recognized Chang An, but frowned and said, "The bellflower is sold out today, can you choose a few for you?"

Chang An glanced at the car, and indeed several plastic buckets were empty.

"Business is so good, huh?"

"Yes, for the New Year, there are a lot of people buying flowers these days, you see that I have sold almost all of them today, and I plan to close the stall in a while. ”

Chang An hummed, and could also feel the joy of the stall owner, business is the same, and every time I come, I can see this aunt happily entertaining guests, and in the early morning, I don't know where to drag a cart full of flowers, and the water is smartly inserted in the bucket, and it can basically be sold out at night.

In fact, her flowers are not the best, there are not many types, and there is no good-looking packaging, except for the lilies and roses, the rest are cheap varieties, compared to a few nearby flower shops, it is a little cold, but this does not affect her peddling business.

Many people in the neighborhood like to come to her to buy flowers, one is that the flowers are cheap, and the other is that the stall owner always looks happy, picking flowers and cutting flowers for you, it is not too troublesome at all, but who can see that she has a son with cerebral palsy at home, and a husband who is bedridden all the year round and must rely on drugs to maintain.

She sells flowers every day to support her family.

"I took a lot of daisies today, and they were fresh, and they were all cut in the flower garden in the morning, so why don't you wrap a bouquet?"

Chang An has no opinion, "Okay!"

She took a handful of them from the bucket, picked out the flowers freshly, and prepared the colors, pink, color, and white, and picked more than a dozen of them, and gathered together lively.

"I'll give you another handful of stars!"

A handful of purple stars were wrapped around the daisy, and the stall owner tied it with duct tape, drew a layer of newspaper and wrapped it outside, fixed the bottom, and sprayed a little water on the flower head with a small shower.

"Alright, look, how pretty!"

Chang'an has had flowers, and the colors are so big.

"Thank you!" she handed over the money, the stall owner took it back, didn't order, stuffed it into the small bag around her waist and said to Chang An: "This flower is very easy to raise, like this kind of low temperature winter can be kept for at least two weeks, you don't have to serve it specially, remember to change the water once a week." ”

Chang An nodded, said hello and left, and before leaving, he heard the stall owner say to himself: "Come often, girl!"

Chang An smiled, and when he turned around, he saw that the slightly bloated figure at the intersection began to be busy again, with the flower cotton jacket that had not been changed for many years, a black scarf wrapped from head to neck, only his face was exposed, and he wore a pair of dirty gauze gloves for work.

Life may be difficult, but no matter how difficult it is, you have to face it head-on.

Chang An hugged the bouquet of daisies and took a taxi directly to the cemetery.

The sun is about to set, and most of them are the flow of people who have gone down the mountain after sweeping the tomb, but Chang An is the only one who walks up the stairs.

It's been more than three years, and Chang'an hasn't been here for more than three years.

She ended up standing in front of one tombstone, oh no, two tombstones.

One is very old, with a black and white photo pasted on it, and the other is made of marble, the stele of Hesse Sen reflects Chang An's face, she bends down slightly, staring at the deceased Xiao Xiang, the girl in the photo has bright eyes and bright teeth, long hair and shawl, Chang An remembers that this should still be a single photo taken on her seventeenth birthday.

The fingers reached over and stroked the cold tablet, slowly descending, and finally stayed on the two words "sister" on the side inscription.

Chang An couldn't help but put his hand away and covered his mouth, I heard Zhou Wei say that after she "left", Chang Jiahui held a funeral for her, as her mother's sister.

Looking down further, Xue Bing and her tombstone were placed in front of the tribute, incense burner, and ashes left by the burning of paper money, and there was an extra goblet in front of her tombstone, the cup was filled with black and red liquid, Chang An picked it up and smelled it, it was wine, wine.

Chang An held the breath in his heart and put the flowers in his arms on the ground.

"Mom, I'm back......"

……

It had been more than an hour since Chang'an descended the mountain.

Although there was so much cool breeze blowing on the mountain, my hands and feet were almost frozen, but I didn't feel that cold in my heart.

Taking a taxi back to the hospital from the cemetery, Xiaozhi had already eaten dinner, and was lying on the bed with something in her hand, but when she saw Chang An coming in, she swooped and stuffed the things in her hand under the pillow, but unfortunately the volume was not turned off, and the babbling music could be heard under the pillow.

Chang An slapped the child with his eyes.

"Take it out!"

Xiao Zhi grinned and shook her head, "No!"

"Think about it, really not?" Chang An had already walked to the front of the bed, his face was cold.

She loves children, but she won't blindly spoil Xiaozhi when she makes mistakes.

Xiao Zhi saw that she seemed to be really angry, after all, they had lived together, and knew that it was very scary for her to be angry, so she immediately put away her smile and changed it into a timid face, "Then don't scold me... Don't scold me, okay?"

Chang An still had a cold face: "Judging by your performance, do you plan to take it out and hand it in yourself, or will I take it for you?"

"Don't, I'll take... I'll get you ...... myself" Xiao Zhi's butt was originally sitting on the pillow, but now it turned down, her eyes looked at Chang An, but her hand reached under the pillow to touch, touched it for a while, and took out the things, the sound of music instantly dispersed because of the lack of pillows, and it seemed very sudden in the spacious but silent single room.

"Whew... Here you go!" Xiao Zhi reached over and grabbed a mobile phone in his hand.

This phone looks like a nurse's.

Chang An took the phone, turned off the cartoon she was watching before, threw it on the table, and looked down at Xiao Zhi on the bed.

Xiao Zhi clasped her knees with her hands and pouted, as if she was quite aggrieved.

Chang An sighed, sat on the edge of the bed, and asked, "Unhappy?"

The child shook his head, but did not make a sound.

"If you're not happy, just say it!"

She remained silent, but buried her head even lower, almost pressing against her knees.

Chang An sighed secretly, Xiaozhi is this kind of character, she has never been willing to show her if she has been wronged or bullied, probably because she has no mother since she was a child, and she has lived in an orphanage for more than half a year, this character is even more obvious, but Chang An has never taken a child, and she doesn't know how to get along with her child.

She only knows that the child is not happy now, maybe which of her eyes just touched her, after all, she is only five or six years old, and it is not a big deal to occasionally take your mobile phone to watch a cartoon.

Thinking about it like this, Chang An instantly felt that he was excessive, but it was not good to say sorry to the child, after all, the child had indeed done something wrong.

After thinking about it, Chang An got up and planned to get his bag, but his sleeve was suddenly pulled as soon as he took a step.

She looked down and saw a small hand with an indwelling needle on the back of her thin hand.

"Mother An'an, Xiaozhi is wrong... Xiaozhi will never take her aunt's mobile phone next time, and she will never make you angry again, don't go, don't you go, okay?" A pair of bright eyes looked at Chang An, but there were obviously tears in his eyes, but he didn't dare to cry, his mouth was so deflated and endured, but his eyes were full of fear and timidity.

Chang An's mouth seemed to be slammed down, she pulled away Xiao Zhi's hand that was holding her sleeve with one hand, held it lightly in her hand, and reached the bag on the table with her other hand.

"I'm not leaving, I just want to get you something. ”

She grabbed Xiao Zhi and sat down on the edge of the bed again, opened the zipper on the bag, and pulled out a box of beautifully packaged chocolates from inside.

The chocolate was seen when she went to the supermarket to buy New Year's goods for Grandma Chen in the afternoon, the New Year's version, very beautiful packaging.

"Do you want to eat it?" she said, shaking the box in her hand.

Xiao Zhi's eyes flashed, first at Chang An, then at the box, then at Chang An, just floating on her face and chocolate, floating for at least two rounds, and finally asked timidly: "Yes... Give me something to eat?"

"That's right. ”

"Why?"

"What, why?"

"You don't like me anymore, why are you still giving me chocolate?"

This question made Chang An a little dumbfounded, but he replied in an instant: "I don't dislike you." ”

"Then you were leaving. ”

"I'm not leaving. ”

"Really?"

"Really!"

The child tilted her head as if to see something from her, and this kind of "really", "really" similar conversations often occurred between the two, and Chang An realized that Xiaozhi was very insecure in addition to low self-esteem.

She was afraid that others would not like her, and that her children would be abandoned.

"Xiao Zhi..."Chang An put the whole box of chocolates in her hand, raised his hand and rubbed the curly fluff on her forehead, "An An's mother made a face to you just now because you did make a mistake, you just had surgery, do you remember what the doctor said? You have to stay in bed most of the time, so that you can get better, and the mobile phone screen is so small, you keep staring back and your eyes will have problems, do you want to go to school in the future?"

The child in front of her seemed to be ignorant, but when she heard the word "study", she nodded her head vigorously.

"Yes!"

"So, so you have to listen to the doctor first to get better quickly, and you have to protect your eyes, and you can't lie, you can't secretly take the nurse's aunt's mobile phone and lie to me. ”

"Well, not next time. She always answered Chang An's words very well-behaved, but left a pair of timid eyes to peek at her.

Chang An put his hand around the back of her head, touched it, and pulled the child's head forward a little, just touching her forehead.

Chang An gently rubbed left and right, and rubbed until the child giggled twice, and then she opened her mouth and said: "Finally, I also need to tell you that your father has entrusted you to me before leaving, so I will not leave you, I used to want to repay the favor, because your father saved me, but it may not be the same in the future." ”

She knew that in fact, she didn't have to say these words to the child, after all, the child was still young and couldn't understand it, but on this night when there was no one and no one in the ward, she felt that it would be more comfortable to say it, not to mention that although Xiaozhi was young, she also had the right to know.

"Xiaozhi, listen well, not only will I not leave you, but I will also treat you, buy you new clothes, sleep with you, and take you to school in the future to teach you homework...... And these, not to repay the favor, but because I like you, you are so good, so sensible, I want you to be my daughter, and I will be your mother in the future......"

Chang An held the child's forehead and said these words, and stepped back a little, still holding her head in his hand, but looked into her eyes and repeated it again.

"Xiaozhi, I want to be your mother, real mother, do you want it?

This solemn appearance is more like a ritual, so much so that Chang An's heart trembled when he said this.

The child in front of her looked at her stupidly.

Maybe she doesn't quite understand it, maybe she understands it again, but she just can't believe it.

After a long time, it was really a long time, so long that Chang An's hand holding the back of her head was a little sore, and Xiao Zhi opened her mouth slightly: "... I-really-have-mom?"

The child says the question almost word for word.

Chang An looked at the long-term consternation, doubt, uneasiness, and joy in her eyes, and nodded as if she was suppressed and did not dare to show it.

"Well, do you want me to be your mother?"

"Yes, yes!"

Only then did the child come back to life, crying and laughing, and threw himself into Chang An's arms.

Chang An hugged her thin body, this body that had suffered a lot, been wronged and lonely, this body that had just returned from a lap of the ghost gate, and her heart softened into a cloud.

Later, when she finished crying, Chang An peeled a chocolate for her, Xiao Zhi held it in her mouth, obviously there were tears on her face that had not been wiped clean, but the corners of her mouth seemed to be dyed and couldn't stop laughing.

"Is it delicious?"

"Delicious!"

She chewed it carefully, retracted back into the bed with the box of chocolates, and opened the box to take another one from inside.

Chang An raised his eyebrows: "I also told Xiaozhi before, you can't consume so much sugar, you can only eat one at most at a time." ”

"I know, I remember...", she knelt down and moved to Chang An's side as she spoke, but stuffed the chocolate into her hand, "Mom, give it to you!"

Chang An only felt that something melted in his heart, and it seemed to freeze in an instant, solidifying into a mass of extremely hard things.

She didn't go back to sleep in the hotel opposite that night, but slept directly in the ward.

A very narrow small bed, Chang An Heyi was lying on the bed sideways, Xiao Zhi almost entangled her with her hands and feet, and most of her face was buried in her chest.

Chang An listened to the even breathing in his arms, and suddenly seemed to have a force in his heart.

She reached for her phone, adjusted the camera lens, and took a group photo of herself and her child.

Zhou Wei has been busy since he landed in the United States, working an average of more than 15 hours a day, and the schedule is full.

Zhou Wei walked to the side with her mobile phone, opened it, and a child's quiet sleeping face appeared on the screen, and she nested on her chest like a supple cat.

The following is a message sent to him by Chang An, just a few simple words.

"She's starting to call me mom, Zhou Wei, I'm so happy!"

She said that she was so happy, a very ordinary adjective, and the rest didn't say anything, and she didn't describe anything, but across the screen, across the mountains and oceans, she could feel her joy and excitement.

……

The hospital bed was too small, Chang An put Xiaozhi to sleep and got up, first washed his face in the bathroom, and explained to the nurse who slept in the outer compartment.

She put on her coat and took her bag out.

Dinner hasn't been eaten yet, it's nine o'clock at this time, Chang An found a small restaurant at the entrance of the hospital, asked for a fried rice, and asked for a bowl of soup.

"Then you have to indoctrinate her, and she'd better learn to call me dad when I get back from America." ”

After reading it, Chang An held it with both hands and covered it on his face.

She could almost imagine the tone of the man's mouth as he said this, and his expression and eyes, but she was really moved.

She was almost touched to death by him.

This man, how did this man become like this now!

Chang An inhaled, but she still couldn't stop the dampness in her palm, so she maintained that movement for a while, until her emotions calmed down, put her hand down, and wiped her face and hands with a tissue.

Is... Three years of tears combined are not as many as in the last few days.

Chang An slowly finished the food on the plate, drank the soup again, and sent a message back to Zhou Wei word by word: "I can't guarantee it, I can only try it as much as possible, and it is best for you to come back and teach it in person." ”

After the message was sent, there was no sound.

This point is close to noon in the United States, and Chang An knows that he is very busy, and almost every time he sends her back messages.

She was not in a hurry, she paid for it from the restaurant owner, put on a coat and wrapped a scarf and walked out of the store.

The street lights are bright, there are many pedestrians and vehicles, and the exterior wall of the mall not far away has all been replaced with billboards, all about New Year's offers or celebrations.

The world has not stopped, year after year, it is very lively.

The mobile phone in his pocket "dripped", Chang An opened it, and Zhou Xian sent a letter, he said: "Okay, I'll go back to teach in person!"

Chang An exhaled white air in his mouth and looked at the sky.

The sky of the city has long been starless except for neon and haze, but that day it was unexpected, Chang An actually saw it, although it was only a few sparse and not bright enough, but it was a good phenomenon.

"Mom, tomorrow should be a sunny day!"

Chang An returned to the ward again, Xiao Zhi and the nurse had already fallen asleep, and the ward was so quiet that it palpitated except for the occasional sound of air conditioning vents.

Chang An sat alone on the sofa, didn't turn on the light, and only took out his mobile phone.

Her WeChat has not been used for three years, in the dead of night, she watched the download circle become solid little by little, until the APP was downloaded, run, entered number by letter, and finally logged in......