I've been restless and in a trance for a few days!

Everything is complicated and clueless, and there is no meaning to live. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

I often think about what life is for? Now that I have reached middle age, I can see that I am the one who has no achievements, no future, and nothing! But I also think: What about you? In a blink of an eye, your 30 years of struggle, our joint efforts, and our common harvest and success have all disappeared with your departure! What I am left with is nothing! Like you, what is the point of all struggles and achievements? If you don't!

Fame and fortune have never been what I seek, what I have pursued is peace and tranquility in my soul! I will let go of all worldly and fetters, even if I am neglected and hurt by the world--you and the happiness of my soul -- it will not affect me! I don't care.

Now I know that my pursuit is so difficult to practice! You have abandoned me and made me lose the center and center of gravity of my life!

The doctor from the National People's Congress called me, and Amei also said the same feeling: the pursuit of life and the practice of self-worth. They are all still young and still have hope for life, and I have no expectations for the future and life, let alone worries! Everything doesn't matter -- it's a big deal, nothing can be accomplished, it's a big deal to return to nature and return to the truth!

This kind of decadence and hopelessness is constantly stripping the thickness of life, and there is nowhere to hide in a desperate situation!

Yesterday, I heard Liu Huan's "Start Again" three times a day, I went to work in the morning and took the bus, the TV was being screened, and I went home at night to watch TV and change the channel, and I heard his vigorous singing voice again: Look at success or failure, life is heroic, there is still true love in this world; If the heart is in a dream, it is just a matter of starting from the beginning! Watching the 8 sets of TV series "Youth Forty", one of He Jing's lines is also: If the heart is in a dream, it is just starting from the beginning! Is God teaching me in the dark? But, do I still have a heart?

However, last night's dream once again made my weak shoulders pick up the burden of life: on a very steep step, I was in the front, behind my mother, and then behind my grandmother, a rope grabbed in our hands, and we climbed hard! If I couldn't go up, I would fall off the deep cliff! I desperately supported myself in front of me and walked up, without any dependence or shirk in my heart, just thinking that there was nothing I could do but save my mother and grandmother with my own strength! The difficulty in the middle was so shocking! I secretly want to give up, but where can I relax with the lives of my relatives? I think I can't let go no matter what! -- After trying my best to climb to a flat place!

I am no longer dependent on them in this life! I have become the Optimus Prime of my relatives! I am already the umbrella that shelters them from the wind and rain: "I can't go with the waves, for the sake of my beloved relatives; no matter how hard it is, I must be strong, just for those expectant eyes!"