There is a distinction between active and passive in the relationship, and the party occupying the high ground always has no fear.

I don't know if it's because Yuan Zhi's recent behavior made me take it for granted that I had taken the initiative in our relationship, which made me a little carried away.

Some people say that when a man is drunk, who he calls, it means that he cares about this person, and what he says at this time is true.

At this time, I thought so.

I was immersed in the joy of discovering the secret, and the next morning, before going to work, I called Yuan Zhi with a happy mood.

In the past year, I have rarely taken the initiative to call him. For me, who has lacked love since I was a child, I am a little cowardly and lack self-confidence in terms of feelings due to low self-esteem, and I would rather pretend not to care about the people or things I love, rather than take the initiative to fight for them.

The phone rang for a long time and no one answered, and my heart was not uneasy.

The moment the phone was answered, my heart seemed to jump to my throat. The other end of the phone remained silent, there was no sound, "Hey" did not exist, suddenly I lost my confidence, I didn't know what to say, and after a long time, I asked: "What are you doing?"

"Ready for work. Yuan Zhi's voice was cold.

I suppressed the discomfort in my heart and asked, "Is it uncomfortable?"

"It's fine". Two simple words again.

I shouted softly, "Yuan Zhi... Before I could think of what to say, Yuan Zhi interrupted me and said, "I hung up beforehand." ”

The busy tone that suddenly came out of the phone was like a plate of ice water poured directly on my gradually warming heart, cold and cold, and shivered.

I began to suspect that what he said last night and what he had done downstairs the other day was my own imagination, and that it had never happened in reality.

Sitting for a long time, I can't figure it out, and I can't accept such a big gap in a person's performance before and after.

Yesterday's determination was like a self-inflicted and self-righteous joke, and my heart suddenly fell from the cloud of happiness to the bottom and shattered.

But at this time, I still have the ability to try to forget, pretend not to care, but I can't quit the addiction of staring downstairs every night from 10:30 to 12 o'clock, Yuan Zhi didn't appear again, everything seems to be just a scene in my dream.

The hole in my heart grew bigger and bigger, so big that I began to lose sleep all night long, tirelessly.

I heard that smoking can relieve the pain, so I bought a pack of cigarettes and tried to smoke them, but the smoke made me cough incessantly, and the pain did not dissipate with the smoke.

I heard that drinking alcohol can help you forget all your worries, so I bought a case of red wine. Wine is such a good thing, and when you get drunk, you don't remember anything. One glass, two glasses... A bottle, and later, I found that it seemed that no matter how I drank it, I couldn't get drunk directly to the point of being unconscious.

I don't sleep at night, and during the day, I am like a chicken blood, I am full of energy, and within a month, I have lost a lot of weight.

Zhou Sheng saw that I was abnormal, took me to the doctor, and did a bunch of tests, and the doctor said that I was not sick and that it was a psychological problem. I went to the Chinese medicine doctor and prescribed a bunch of Chinese medicines, and after taking a few doses, it had no effect, so I stopped taking it.

I still keep my eyes open until dawn.

Life begins to turn gray, and people are also negative.

I started running to the disco a lot, dancing with strangers and drinking all sorts of alcohol.

But no matter how much I struggled, my heart was still empty.

Until one day, I met Ali in the discotheque, and when he saw me like this, he couldn't believe that the good girl of the past would be so depraved today. He didn't say anything, and pulled me home, but I didn't want to, and kept trying to break free.

He let go of my hand and slapped me hard.