When I got out of the car, Shi Qing kissed me on the forehead, "I'll leave when I see the lights on your upstairs." "That gentleness makes me feel like I'm going back in time. At that time, I lived with my grandmother, and every time he would take me home and whisper, "Look at you're closed, I'll go again." For a moment I was in a trance and nodded slightly.

When I got home, I turned on the living room light and paced to the balcony. At this time, the phone rang, "Why don't you go to sleep and stand on the balcony and watch me." So you can't bear me. ”

I don't know what stalks to my throat, and I can't say a word. Are we in a relationship where we can say such things?

"I can hear your breathing, Sinai. Why haven't you called me for so many years? How can you be so ruthless in Zinnai. ”

I looked down at Shi Qing's phone number, it was still the number from ten years ago, even if I hadn't dialed it for ten years, I could still recite it. In this era of address books, all I can recite is Xin Rong's mobile phone, Glory's mobile phone and this number I thought I had forgotten.

"Why are you crying again, but fortunately, aren't we meeting again now. ”

"Why haven't you changed your number for ten years, haven't you been in the United States for the past ten years?" I know that Shi Qing went to the United States, and he also met his roommate by chance, and his roommate told me. You see, even Shi Qing's news has to be known through the mouth of others.

"I'm afraid you won't find me, so I've been paying the bills. ”

Suddenly he lost all his strength and fell heavily to the floor. Crying like a child without sugar.

"Then why don't you call me, do you know I'm mad at you. Why pushed me away in the water and didn't let me save the egret. Why didn't you come to save me when I held my breath in the water for so long, why didn't you come and coax me. Why did I kiss you and you walked away like a fugger?"

"Although you are good at water, you can't save people, and I'm afraid that you will even take your own life. I know you're holding your breath, and I know you're going to come up on your own if you can't stand it. You're joking, but the egret's life is in danger. Yes, I ran away after kissing you back. I couldn't help but want to kiss you back, but I regretted it. Feel like your little secret has been discovered by you. I didn't know what to do myself, so I had no choice but to run away. I was also confused during that time. I want to tell you that I like you but I'm afraid of affecting you, I have been persisting for so many years, and the last 20 days are nothing. Resist the first antibody, and everything will be fine after the college entrance examination is over. I've always hidden my liking for you, when I was a freshman in high school, you just graduated from elementary school, at first I thought you were too young, and then you grew up and were afraid that it would affect your studies. ”

"Shi Qing, you bastard, you bastard. ”

"I know I'm a jerk, aren't I back now, do you want me?"

I want it, I want it, I can't do it. "Why did I call you on the first day of the college entrance examination, but the phone was turned off?"

"My grandfather was critically ill that day, bought a plane ticket and left. Maybe I was on the plane when you called. Later, I took care of my grandfather for two days, and after several critical illness notices, he still left. After taking care of my grandfather's funeral, my parents returned to China to help me go through the transfer procedures and live directly in the United States. Once all the mess is over, your phone number will be empty. ”

That's what it is, but when I needed that phone call the most, I couldn't get through. Because he couldn't get through Shi Qing's phone, in a fit of anger, he also threw away his calling card.

"I went to your house during the summer vacation of my first year, and I asked my neighbors to find out that my grandmother died on the first day of the college entrance examination. The people in the courtyard said they didn't know where you went, and they said that you disappeared a few days after the college entrance examination. I went to the police station to report the crime, but it all ended in nothing. ”

"Can you take me to see Grandma's grave? I miss her so much. ”

I choked up and said, OK.

Shi Qing grew up in his own family since he was a child, and most of his relatives are in the United States. Shi Qing's parents are both doctors, and his uncle and uncle are also doctors. Because his parents are not around all the year round, Shi Qing has hated the profession of doctor since he was a child, and felt that this profession had robbed his parents. When I was a child, I had an aunt who took care of my daily life, but when I grew up, I didn't even have an aunt. His parents only returned to China to accompany Shi Qing on Christmas and Thanksgiving. His parents hoped that he would learn Chinese well and have a solid foundation, so they sent Shi Qing back to China to study in primary school. Wait for Shi Qing to graduate from elementary school and pick him up. When he graduated from elementary school, which was my 10th birthday, he asked me what my birthday wishes were, and I said if I could really make any wish come true. Shi Qing smiled and said, within my ability, I can't do it if you ask me to pick stars. I smiled slyly, it was much easier than picking stars, and I was willing to use all my birthday wishes at the age of ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, and twenty years old in exchange for Shi Qing to stay in China.

He asked me, "Why are you only twenty?"

"I won't tell you. "Because after the age of twenty, my wish will become to marry you, and just staying by my side will naturally not satisfy me.

It's just that I didn't expect that Shi Qing really stayed, and he stayed for so many years. Now that I think about it, I was really selfish. deprived him of so many years of time with his parents. If I were given another chance, I would let him go.

Because Shi Qing's parents can't return to China on Chinese holidays, Shi Qing spent the Spring Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, and Mid-Autumn Festival in our family. Grandma also likes Shi Qing, and Shi Qing also likes grandma. At that time, it was really happy. The first time Shi Qing spent the Spring Festival at our house, my grandmother made dumplings, deliberately wrapped a dumpling with a special shape, and stuffed coins in it. Then when I was scooping the dumplings, I found the dumplings and fished them into Shi Qing's bowl, Shi Qing was super happy when she ate them, and then her grandmother said, "Haha, our family Shi Qing has good luck, and the luck of our family is handed over to you." ”

After listening to her grandmother's words, Shi Qing cried. Later, every Spring Festival, Shi Qing ate dumplings with coins, and he couldn't move. Grandma knew that Shi Qing lacked nothing, but she was very pitiful that his parents were not around since he was a child. So he gave Shi Qing a lot of love and gave him a lot of warmth.

"Sinai, I know you've been through a lot in the last 10 years. But we still have a lot of time, and we can talk about it slowly and make up for it slowly. ”

"I can't make it up, time is over when he passes. We really can't do it anymore. You don't know how much has happened in these ten years. One by one, they all told me that we couldn't be together. ”

"In the ten years that I have been away, you can tell me one by one from now on. I'll also tell you my stories from the past ten years. ”

"Shi Qing, let's forget it. ”

"You don't want to tell me, okay, I don't listen. Then let the past pass, can't you?" I heard the change in my voice and knew he was angry now.

"No, I can't. It's okay for us to let each other go. ”

"I don't know what the fuck you're thinking. Ten years will fucking sentence me to death. ”

"I'm sorry. ”

"Do you love me?"

Do I love? I should love, otherwise I wouldn't be so sorry and so sad when he tells me that he likes me. When he talks about his grandmother, he thinks that the memories of the cobwebs are so clear. I won't cry so much when I see his phone number that I haven't changed. Teenagers along the way, it turns out that we like each other. At this moment, I was so happy and so sad.

"Not loved. "We are not destined to be lovers. If you can't even be friends, let's be strangers to each other. In the past ten years, without me, he Shi Qing has lived well. In the past ten years, I have lived well without him, and I have lived well. Today's reunion is the biggest reward, how dare I pursue more. No one can accompany anyone for a lifetime, and I knew this truth the day my grandmother left me. People are born lonely, this is the inevitable destination.

"Good. I'm going to fucking look for you again. ”

Shi Qing hung up the phone, and I stood on the balcony to watch him gallop away.