I will feel guilty in my heart, I will feel guilty, and I will feel that I owe Ji Muqing.

Eight million is indeed not a small amount, and the liquidity on the cutting-edge books may not be so much.

Give up? or persevere?

I'm in a bind.

Indeed, in their eyes, all the efforts I do now are to help others out of my own pocket, as if I am doing it to be a hero and to show how different I am.

I'm not a god, I'm a human being, I'm a human being, and I have my own thoughts.

Saying that they don't mind their thoughts, that's fake, saying that they don't care that I use Ji Muqing's money to do this, that's also fake.

Two thoughts were rolling in my head, as if they were going to turn my mind upside down.

I didn't speak for a long time, and my thoughts were really confused.

Zhao Xiaoru knocked on the table with her hand and reminded me, "I think it's better to forget about this matter, you can find another way, you don't have to take this road." ”

I asked her, "Do you think there's a faster, more effective, and more convenient way to do it?"

Zhao Xiaoru opened her mouth, choked by me and couldn't speak. "Zhao Suo, I'm for your good, don't treat other people's kindness as donkey liver and lungs. We are friends, and I have only told you so much, if it were someone else, do you think I would tell them so much? You can do whatever you like, and I can still get a commission from the middle, eight million, even if I give me one percent, I will have a lot of money. Who's going to think about a lot of money, stupid?"

Zhao Xiaoru scolded me angrily, "You are a ...... I really don't know what to say about you. What did you do before, I don't care, and I don't want to know, but since you have decided to live with Sister Xiaoqing in a down-to-earth manner, and now that Sister Xiaoqing is pregnant, can't you settle down and accompany her at home, do you have to toss so many moths. ”

"Abin always said that you are a person who has no pursuit of fame and fortune, hmph, I see, not necessarily. Sister Xiaoqing is such a good person, she follows you all day long and is afraid, don't you feel guilty at all in your heart, don't you feel ashamed of Sister Xiaoqing at all? There is also the child in her belly, the child has not been born yet, and she runs around with you all day long. ”

"I really feel worthless for Sister Xiaoqing, she is so good, why do you have a soft spot for you, what good do you have, I can't give her a sense of security at all. "Zhao Xiaoru counted down this time, and every sentence said to my heart.

Recall carefully, since I was with Ji Muqing until now, I really haven't given her anything. Materially, I can't give it, but she has been helping me, and mentally, I can't seem to give anything, because there are too many things to distract me, and I simply don't have the ability and energy to pour all my thoughts on her, and in life, it is even more miserable.

Before getting married, a child suddenly appeared, and if she was another woman, I was afraid that she would not be able to accept it for a long time, but Ji Muqing accepted it very generously, and treated the little pineapple like her own biological child.

No matter what one thing is brought out, Ji Muqing is the one who pays, and I am the one who accepts her pay.

Zhao Xiaoru is right, Ji Muqing met me, it was really bad for eight lifetimes, it stands to reason that with her conditions, the person chasing her can go around Rongcheng, but why did she finally fall in love with me, a useless little clerk?

I looked at Zhao Xiaoru fixedly and took a deep breath, "Yes, I admit that I didn't give anything to Xiaoqing, and I am not a qualified husband." No excuses or excuses are enough to excuse me, and I don't want to defend myself, but from now on, I want to try to do my job as a husband. I use the media to spread martial arts, so that everyone can learn to protect themselves, it's not that I want to be a hero, I want to be supported by everyone, I want to refresh my status and weight in this family, I want Ji Muqing's light to no longer press me. No, no, I just want to protect my family, my friends and family. ”

"You should feel the same way from the island, those people are terrible, they are more terrible than the demons from hell. If I tell you again, there are many places on the earth that may be suffering from those people, perhaps, near us, perhaps, in places we do not know. They plundered, killed helpless children, the elderly, killed those who disobeyed their orders, do you still think, I am doing this to be a hero?"

"Maybe in the next moment, maybe in the next second, or a little luckily, tomorrow, in a month's time, the city we live in, will face that problem. When their butcher's knives hang over your head, and you are powerless to resist, do you still feel that everything I am doing now is just because I want to be a hero?"

"I have been with Ji Muqing for so long, no one knows her better than me, she sees the old lady crossing the street, even if the company has an important meeting, she will give up and help the old lady over first. She is kind and compassionate, and feels that this world should be beautiful, and there should be no such things as killings and wreckage. When those bloody things happen to her one day, I think she will not be able to do it alone, she will definitely help those in need. ”

"No matter how strong my ability and ability are, I can't protect everyone. So, I want them to be stronger, I want them not to be a burden to drag us back, you can say I'm selfish, I'm not a saint, I'm really selfish. As you said, Ji Muqing has done so much for me, but I haven't been able to do anything for her, but now, I want to do it, I want to work hard, I want to do my best to protect her and take care of her. ”

After I finished speaking, Zhao Xiaoru looked at me steadily, as if she hadn't woken up from what I had just said.

I picked up the coffee in front of me and drank it in one go, waiting for Zhao Xiaoru's answer to me.

After a short silence, Zhao Xiaoru asked me rhetorically, "There are many ways to protect your lover, but why do you choose this one? Moreover, you are using Sister Xiaoqing's money, don't you think it's ridiculous that you use her money to protect her? With so much money, she can hire ten or eight bodyguards, is it not as good as you alone?"

"Zhao Suo, I'm not Abin, I'm not Lu Xiaofeng, I'm not your apprentices, my thinking won't be led away by you. Tell me honestly, do you have any other purpose or reason for doing this?"

The Zhao Xiaoru in front of me really impressed me, and the problem that others didn't expect was actually thought of by her.

This really shocked me, I always felt that she was like other stars, with a beautiful appearance and no connotation, but now, my thoughts seem to be changing.

I laughed a little, and laughed helplessly, because at this time, there are some things that have to be said.

It's just that I didn't expect that it would be said to Zhao Xiaoru under such circumstances.

I tapped my fingers on the table, wondering in my heart what to say, what way to use, after all, I didn't even tell Ah Bin and them about that thing, just because it was too difficult to speak.

"Do you remember that on the island, I was taken away by them alone?" I said.

Zhao Xiaoru nodded, "Remember, you were taken away by them, and then came back safe and sound, and during that time, your cultivation also broke through." People have always wanted to know what happened to you during that time, but you never said it. Everyone respects you, and if you don't say it, no one will ask you. ”

I took a deep breath, indeed, everyone didn't say it because they respected me and believed me, but I used everyone's respect as a kind of umbrella, and kept the secret in my heart that I didn't want to tell.

I felt guilty about my actions and thoughts, and I felt guilty of myself.

These days, I am also very torn and conflicted, whether to say that thing or not, but every time the words come to my mouth, I swallow them back again, because I can't open that mouth.

"Do you remember that I once told you that my father might not be dead?"

Zhao Xiaoru's eyes widened suddenly, "Could it be that you were taken to see your father at that time?"

Zhao Xiaoru is really smart, and she understands what I mean with a little mention.

I smiled wryly and nodded, "yes, you guessed it." I always thought he was dead, on the snowy mountain, I saw his bones in the March Lake, I brought his bones back all the way, and found the best place to bury him, but suddenly one day, he appeared in front of me and told me that the bones belonged to someone else, not his. He told me he was still alive, do you know how I felt at the time?"

Zhao Xiaoru frowned, looked at me worriedly, and did not speak, because she knew that it was useless to say anything at the moment, and to remain silent and be a qualified listener was the most important thing.

I touched my nose because it was sour and uncomfortable, "I can't tell you what it feels like, I think it's all a dream, it's all fake." My father, whom I trusted and thought was a hero since I was a child, suddenly appeared in front of me one day with an identity that I couldn't accept, hehe, this kind of bloody bridge is generally only seen in dog blood TV series, who would have thought that it would really happen in reality. ”

I've always been reluctant to believe that feeling was real.

Zhao Xiaoru said, "Zhao Suo, I don't know how to comfort you, and I don't know how to persuade you, but I always believe that you can't fight, you are a tumbler, and you will never fall." ”

Her praise for me is really high, I am a tumbler, and I will never fall.

But the truth is, there are times when the tumbler falls, and what if the stone in his body is taken away.