Under Yingying's proposal, Liao Guanghui resigned from the yarn factory and followed the governance to learn auto repair, Yingying still worked in the glass factory to make a living, and the constraints of life made the two of them have to save money in all aspects, and they planned to choose a lot to open a car repair shop after the New Year。

During the Spring Festival, Yingying went home alone, and many people were still impressed by her, maybe she took Kant to the village in the summer, and everyone was still impressed, but Yingying seemed to be very disapprehensive now, she seemed to have long forgotten about it.

can't say how sincere she is to Liao Guanghui, at least she is serious about the marriage between the two of them, including when she was in love with Pan Jinchao, she didn't take the marriage too seriously, and even she couldn't figure it out. She first told her grandmother, and then asked her grandmother to tell her father Liu Dazhu, Liu Dazhu did not have a trace of reaction and action, but the whole family seemed to have seen the signs, although Li Jinfeng did not express her position, but from her eyebrows, she could already see that she despised her. Yes, Yingying can imagine that in the eyes of rural people, if a girl changes this boyfriend for a while, and that boyfriend for a while, she knows that the people in the village will definitely despise her. She knew that even she despised herself.

Yingying rushed to the set and passed by the bridge, and saw Xiaojun and Lily talking and laughing there, and for a while they were a little strange, and they suddenly felt like a dream. Lily was admitted to a university in Nanjing last summer, and now her demeanor is quite a bit of a college talent; how far away she looked at Xiaojun deeply, and naturally thought, to blame her for missing the person who loves her the most, so that she lost Xiao Pan, a person who is so protective of her, and deserves to find a beast like Liao Guanghui, although she has followed Liao Guanghui, at that time her heart has always been haunted by him, he has brought her a thorough injury, and she is unbearable to look back on for the rest of her life, but everything has settled, Yingying walked over indifferently。

Not knowing what the two of them were talking about, Yingying walked closer before Lily turned around with a smile.

"What are you two talking about here?" Yingying asked with a smile, in fact, she didn't want to know what they said, she just wanted to ask this sentence and walked over quickly.

"Huh...... Didn't say anything!" Lily only responded lightly, but very politely, her eyes drifted away: "You went to the market?"

Only then did Xiao Jun turn his head, and Yingying didn't seem to wait for him to see her and walked over with a soft "um".

She knows that she is not worthy of their vision, her downfall is complete, since the last time she took Kant in the village to go over in a beautiful way, now with Liao Guanghui she is not even willing to buy a piece of clothing, especially the experience and background of this year, she knows that not only them, but also the people in the village look at her differently behind her back. She knew that if Lily and Xiaojun belonged to high-spirited youth, they were running towards the train of prospects and dreams, and she was thrown off by this train, thrown into the distant boundless margin, together with her youth, her fate, and her dreams, she didn't know where they were going, and she was wandering around the world like a floating beard with no heart or feet, and she would feel an inexplicable emptiness and discomfort at any time. In fact, since last year, she has "broken off" with Lily, and the two sides see it as if they don't see it, if it weren't for the overhead bump, no one would bother to say a word, the biting cold air instantly froze the hearts of the two people as hard as steel, and when she saw Xiaojun, she was even more afraid that she couldn't hide, and Xiaojun turned around and walked away when he saw where she was standing.

Therefore, this Spring Festival Yingying is too lazy to go to the set, too lazy to go out, the famous man is also married, and she doesn't want to talk to them about the other little girls, after all, she knows that although she is still a girl, she is actually different from them for a long time, and she is even afraid to go to the human field, afraid that people will look at her and see what flaws come in. Therefore, when she had nothing to do, she moved a stool and sat quietly next to the door of the east room alone, leaning against the door, a position that even the family could ignore. However, this year, her father Liu Dazhu seems to be much closer to her, which has changed his previous attitude towards her, Yingying is very flattered, but how can the estrangement over the years be eliminated. "On the day of the Double Ninth Festival, at the Xu Wa gathering, Lao Heizi dragged me to Ge Laosi's loach soup shop to drink two cups, and we drank until two or three o'clock in the afternoon,...... "Liu Dazhu bent over and squatted in the corner, and the diaphragm and weight in front of him were no longer visible when he spoke, and he suddenly seemed to be much more casual and friendly. At ten o'clock in the morning of the next day, Xiaoguang went to his house to look for him, and he didn't know when he died, and his body was hard...... I've gone through everything in my life, I've married several women, but I haven't got a family, and I'm a romantic person when I'm young......" "Oh...... That old black has also married several women!" Yingying had never heard of this, so she was very curious. In her childhood memories, there was no one who was kind to him, and when she grew up, she always had a grudge on him and ignored him, but at this time she was relieved. "He told me that there are people with him, and he has a queen, but he didn't say who it was, and he drank with me before he died, and he said this, and this matter rested on his heart very much......" Liu Dazhu's expression was slightly delayed, and Yingying heard it and thought strangely that she didn't know which old mother in the village it was, and she might have had other romantic affairs when she was young, and she couldn't help but feel ridiculous and sighing. "That...... I heard that school is the first place in the class, just like when you were a child......" After a pause, Liu Dazhu looked at Yingying again and said with a smile. "Is it the strangeness of Xiaoguang's family?......" Yingying asked with a smile, she almost ignored her, if it weren't for such a strange name, and she didn't know that she was still so good in her father's eyes!" I remember Xiaobin loved her a lot, and fed the child with an open arms all day long,...... she said with a smile. "It wasn't born to her, Xiaoguang asked for a girl from outside in order to alleviate her illness, Xiaobin was in a ......lot of pain" Yingying stopped talking and fell silent. At this moment, she thought of her mother Lin Hong, and her face turned cold.

"My mom...... Where did she go?" After a pause, she finally opened her mouth hesitantly, and mentioned the word "mother" to her father for the first time, and all kinds of feelings lingered in her heart, just waiting for her father to speak.

“…… I don't know where she went, but I've heard that I've seen her outside, and it's beautiful, huh...... No wonder she doesn't want to live in our place,—— but she has come to see you before!" Liu Dazhu said calmly after hearing this.

"You've come to see me?......" Yingying asked with wide, strange eyes and a misty expression.

"Do you remember? That year, it happened to be the year when your current mother and Huaibei first came, on your way to school,—— you didn't notice!

When Yingying heard this, she tried her best to think about the past, so that she seemed to be able to remember a little bit: what she remembered most clearly was that that year, her father rode a bicycle and took Huaibei to school, Huaibei sat behind the bicycle and smiled shyly, she and Lily ran towards the school, and her father Liu Dazhu stood on the rural dirt road, as if a woman was running in the sky......

"I see her!" said Yingying. "Did you see her?" Liu Dazhu thought Yingying remembered, so he asked. "I saw her outside...... Yingying said, her voice cold and her face gray, but she didn't want to say any more. However, his father Liu Dazhu's reaction was not as fierce as Yingying expected, and people of his age seemed to be less interested in anything, "Where did you see her?" Liu Dazhu looked at Yingying with gray eyes. Helplessly, Yingying was silent, and Liu Dazhu was silent. So after a while, Yingying mentioned her marriage to Liao Guanghui to her father, Liu Dazhu just said very objectively, I can't do your thing, you have grown up, you can do what you look like!

Nowadays, Liu Dazhu is no longer as good as it was back then, and it is not a huge and complicated family, as if it has become the world of her mother, Huaibei stares at her every day, Li Jinfeng is a mother and son are expensive, and people move with the situation, and everything inevitably tends to be the main force of the family today,—— Huaibei and the two of them, and they dare to grin at Liu Dazhu from time to time and have a tendency to get worse. Think about a family that Liu Dazhu, who was as strong as an ox back then, worked hard to manage a family, and now he has almost no power to maintain it, and his spirit back then has long been exhausted, and as he gets older, he feels that only Yingying is an amiable person, so the knot in his early years has become silent, and even Yingying's marriage is very open. Therefore, when Liao Guanghui brought a person to talk about things and came to the door with a gift to propose marriage, Liu Dazhu took the initiative to find two or three people from the village who had a head and face and could take charge of things, and talked about things.

The matter is settled, just wait for "May Day" or August 15, Liao Guanghui can bring another person to open the New Year's media post, in short, if it doesn't work this year, they will definitely get married next year. Liu Dazhu's tone is obviously the sooner this matter is done, the better, he also understands the meaning of "women don't stay", not to mention that the current home is not what it used to be, for a whole year, Huaibei is either blowing his beard or staring, although he himself is not much better, but he is not used to Yingying, and he always picks Yingying's thorns in private, and he hates it for no reason. Yingying didn't notice that she was tired of sitting on the acorn bed next to her, her head bowed and her face was very calm, but in fact, her heart was a different kind of mixed taste.

In order to catch the car and talk about things, Liao Guanghui went back early in the afternoon, and when no one was around, he quietly stuffed her with 400 yuan, which was considered the money for the ceremony, and said to her, my mother doesn't have much money, don't be too little! I miss you all the time, let's go back on the sixth day of junior high school! I will also go back on the sixth day of junior high school, Yingying listened and looked at the hundreds of dollars on the table sullenly and didn't want to squeak.

When she went to bed at night, Yingying couldn't sleep when she was lying on the bed, and once her marriage with Liao Guanghui was so smoothly determined, she became inexplicably depressed in her heart, and a sentence echoed in her mind over and over again, just like that, everything is over? From now on, there will be nothing left in her life? She can even imagine that from now on she is numb, busy, The boring life, her heart is even more sad and undulating, so that in the middle of the night she got up, pulled the lamp string, put on her clothes and got out of bed and turned out the broken paper box under the bed, the box is very old, the surrounding has been worn out roughly, grandma heard the movement at the other end and asked: "Yingying, what are you doing? Don't sleep?" Yingying said: "I didn't do anything! Grandma, you sleep!" "I don't sleep either, Yingying, I can't sleep either——...... This family will be over in the future——" Grandma sighed, and sobbed there, and then began to count down the lady at the other end: "What a cold day, and ask your father to collect the skin, your father will look for trouble if he doesn't go, and take all the money he earns............ I wish I was dead!

As soon as the box was opened, a strange world was opened, and many stories and situations from the past poured out of it. She doesn't know when she likes to take in the little things in the past, including a few photos taken when she was a child, she was really embarrassed at that time, everyone was embarrassed, she liked to look at the photo she took with Lily, Lily tied two pigtails, big eyes, pursed her mouth with irrepressible euphoria, her face when she was a child was chubby, a little fleshy feeling, this face shape did not change slightly until she was sixteen or seventeen years old, and she took off her babyishness, but now she has lost weight, and her face has become slender and long, which she did not expect, she used to envy Sister Yuelan's delicate and watery melon seed face; , She inadvertently found it in her grandmother's broken basket, she has been using this kind of tendon for many years when she was a child, and then Sister Yuelan made one for her with a small piece of floral cloth, that kind of elegant Yingying likes it very much, and then she doesn't use it, fortunately, grandma probably can't bear to throw it away, put it away, until now Yingying still likes it; when she was a child, she collected the beautiful chicken feather key made of the word money with the children, and now it is very worn, but the beautiful and bright rooster feathers are still well sandwiched in the book by her, and the joy and interest at that time are still vivid; and the most important thing is that she wrote a diary in the past, as well as a short post written when she was upset。 At that time, how frank, innocent and naïve she was, she actually recorded so many bits and pieces that she couldn't think of now, Yingying smiled comfortably when she looked at it. At that time, she was so good with Lily, Lily's name actually occupied most of her youth, and she used to hate Huaibei for a while, of course, her later disgust was too much, and her father was a blank in her whole upbringing, except for the cold stimulation and hurt he brought to her from time to time, she never remembered that he loved her, except that year he picked up the shovel and danced towards Huaibei...... Yingying flipped through the pages one by one, and many things seemed distant, novel, and funny to read at the moment, with an innocent, cute, and childish side, as well as a gloomy, troubled, and gloomy side, and from time to time there would reveal one or two little secrets, Xiao Li! She couldn't even think of him, it was still her initial sprout. Later, it was Xiaojun, a past that makes people infinitely reminisce, she will always remember, but it was no longer there.

Then in the corner under the manuscript there was the crimson hairpin, the hairpin that Sister Yuelan had given her, her mother's hairpin, she gently picked it up with her trembling hands, she had never looked at it like this moment, it was the transmitter of a woman's pathos, its crimson color revealed an unspeakable fate like a woman's menstrual blood. She hated her, she knew how she would not tolerate her, so the situation at the end of the world that day slowly struck, cold to the bone, at this point, Yingying's heart was frozen, and the hairpin was broken in half, both broken and broken.

Then she saw the yellowed letterhead, which Zhenhua wrote to Sister Yuelan back then, she had preserved it with awe, and the rest was burned by Sister Yuelan. Yingying had read it many times, and had tried her best to contemplate that innocent emotion, but the more she tried to imagine it, the more sad she was about its loss. Yingying touched the letterhead with trembling hands again, then pulled out the letterhead, and once again read the complex between Zhenhua and Yuelan back then, in addition to the immaturity and innocence revealed between the lines, she still felt that the past was far away, but I don't know if people still remember these things? One day the best years that accompanied us completely disappeared in our lives. Yuelan really forgot everything, I heard that Zhenhua had an official position in the town, and his life was probably quite satisfactory!

……

Before she knew it, the night was very deep, Yingying lay quietly on the bed with her eyes closed and slightly tired, the corners of her eyes unconsciously moistened her eyelashes, and there were those things in front of her messily, those things that may no longer have any effect, no meaning, but she has always kept them completely hers. Grandma was already asleep, and Yingying lay down like this for a while before reaching out and extinguishing the lamp, and she didn't pack those things, so let them stay with her for the night!