After Li Mingyang left, Qi Fei thought about it alone for a long time, in fact, he didn't know what he was thinking, his whole head was clouded, his heart was empty, Qi Fei's reason told him that what should be done was the best for Li Mingchen, but he always felt that he couldn't do it in his heart, maybe he was still selfish, he didn't dare to imagine that if Li Mingchen had no love or hatred for him, Li Mingchen really left him, and he had nothing to do with him anymore, would he be able to bear it.

What should he do himself, can he be safe in the world without Li Mingchen, and go on well?

It's definitely okay to live, but the walking dead-like life also makes him afraid, he is afraid that he will never have a soul for the rest of his life, and he is afraid that he will live for breath without meaning and purpose, which is terrible, more terrible than hate.

After changing the medicine again, Qi Fei lay quietly on the bed, waiting for sleepiness, but the more he waited, the more he couldn't sleep, just like he waited for Li Mingchen, the more he waited, the more he couldn't wait, he looked at the moon in the sky, and the emotions in his heart were very complicated. He didn't know what to do, when the sky was slightly bright, he really closed his eyes, mentally he could survive his eyes but couldn't, Qi Fei had a dream, he dreamed many years ago, at that time, he was still with Li Yunchen, at that time Li Mingchen loved him very much, that kind of love, full of writing in his eyes, is the kind of eyes that can no longer be felt and can no longer be seen. That kind of loving eyes, he has not seen in other people, and he has not seen others in Li Mingchen's eyes.

He could have had the best love and the most beautiful person in the world, but he was wrong, he was wrong.

But if he takes a wrong step, time has passed, and he will never be able to turn back, which may be a regret in life.

In that dream, there are beautiful memories and painful memories, he seems to have played all the memories between him and Li Mingchen, from understanding to breaking up, all the memories have been re-acted in the dream, and when Qi Fei opened his eyes again, he felt a little trance.

He saw Li Mingchen looking at his eyes, he couldn't tell for a while, whether he woke up or not, maybe he was still in a dream, otherwise how could Li Mingchen be here, otherwise what kind of emotion was there in Li Mingchen's eyes just now?

"What did you dream about?" Li Mingchen's voice was still very cold, Qi Fei didn't say anything, in fact, he didn't dare to break this picture. He was very worried that as soon as he opened his mouth, he found that it was actually just a dream, he really, even if it was a dream, he wanted to stay for a moment longer, and stayed in a dream with Li Mingchen for a while, Li Mingchen was not in a hurry to wait for his answer, he just sat on the edge of the bed, looking at him quietly, the feeling of looking at each other was very wonderful, and the emotions and flickering in his eyes always made people dare not think deeply.

Li Mingchen didn't know why he was here, but he also had insomnia, he really didn't see Qi Fei in the days, he had serious insomnia, not to mention, now that he knew that Qi Fei was in this place, it was impossible for him to fall asleep indifferently.

Qi Fei is its thorn, he doesn't do anything, he doesn't say anything, but its existence makes people hurt, in fact, he knows that Li Mingyang has been here, after Li Mingyang left here, he went to Li Mingchen, Li Mingchen doesn't need Li Mingyang to remind him, in fact, he knows better than anyone else, if he wants to stand up, he must pull out the thorn.

But he was afraid, the bloody picture at the beginning made his heart palpitate for so many years, he was afraid that this time he would pull out the thorn again, it would be a more bloody scene, he was afraid that this scene would make him even more, and he didn't dare to face it in the future.

He was afraid, afraid that this kind of thing would stay in his subconscious and become a kind of shadow.

"Qi Fei, why?" After a long silence, Li Mingchen said such a sentence, he didn't know whether this sentence was asking him or Qi Fei, he never asked why, why it was a sign of weakness, this kind of weak person, powerless people would ask why, he didn't want to ask, he didn't want to make himself look so small, so weak.

What else is there to ask, where are there so many whys, the answer is obvious, Qi Fei took advantage of him and deceived him.

In his heart, he has always regarded this as the only answer, he can't ask why, does he want to ask Qi Fei why he clearly says he loves him, but he wants to hurt him? He can't accept it, he himself can't accept the fact that Qi Fei loves him.

This world is too terrible, he thinks that love is harmless, loves someone, but hurts a person so hard, this kind of love will make him dare not believe it for the rest of his life, he just wants to continue to believe in love, so he can only deny Qi Fei, he can only insist on going his own way, and resolutely believe that Qi Fei has never loved him, only in this way can he believe in love again.

But in fact, after so many years, he still has no way to believe in love, and he has not met a person who can make him fall in love again, maybe his fate is like this, he also felt when he was young that he didn't necessarily have to meet someone, he spent his life peacefully, made himself happy, in fact, it was also a complete life.

But now, he's still a man, he's still uncompromising, but he's not happy, he's not complete.

Qi Fei looked at Li Mingchen silently for a long time before his mouth moved, and he said, "It's true that it's wrong, and it's true that I love you, I'm sorry, I know, I should ......"

Qi Fei suddenly choked up, he had never said many words, and he had never had a chance to say them in front of Li Mingchen.

"I know, I should, stay away from you, but anyone who still has a face and knows how to advance and retreat, should consciously stay away from you, but I can't do it, I'm such a person, my birth is like this, my character is like this, my identity is like this, when I meet you, my position is like that, but I like you, I don't know how to express it, how to save that situation, I just like you too much, I don't dare to tell you a lot of things, I don't dare to tell you, I don't dare to let you know how unbearable I am, I even, I even thought about it, I still want to be a hero, Appearing in front of you like a hero, I thought I could do it, but in fact, things have long been out of my control, I'm sorry, close to you, it's up to me to decide, now, leave me, it's up to you to decide, if we have nothing to do with each other anymore, it will be better for your future life, whatever you want, I will fully cooperate with you, you want me to say I love you, or I don't love you, I can. ”

Li Mingchen looked at him, the expression on his face was still very light, but his eyes gradually turned red, he didn't know how to describe his mood at the moment, in fact, he was very fragile, in fact, he was not so strong at all, he even wanted to find a corner to find someone, cry well, or vent once, he never told anyone what he really thought in his heart.

He doesn't know how to show his vulnerability in front of others, and why he should show his vulnerability in front of others, those are people who have nothing to do with him, the only thing he can show is only in front of Qi Fei, many years ago, his vulnerability in front of Qi Fei was naturally revealed, but when one day he found that he had no way, no way to continue to show in front of that person, he also learned to hide, he was afraid, he was really afraid, the person you believe in the most, you show him all your fragile side, but that person just took advantage of your vulnerability, that feeling he didn't dare to try。

Li Mingchen hated himself at that time, and he hated himself now, his current self, facing Qi Fei, he couldn't do it, there was no wave, he felt that his shell was crumbling again, but what could he do, did he still have to be vulnerable in front of Qi Fei again? Can he be fragile again? If he was fragile, he felt that he was sorry for his suffering all these years.

Li Mingchen raised his eyes slightly, he took a breath, trying his best to hide his emotions, but he found that he couldn't hide it, and his emotions were almost about to gush out, so he could only stand up, he could only choose to escape.

When Li Mingchen stood up, Qi Fei suddenly grabbed his arm, very hard and tight.

Li Mingchen's face was facing the direction of the door, he didn't want to see Qi Fei's face and eyes, he didn't dare, but he felt that he had no strength in his body, he couldn't pull his hand back from the take-off hand at all, he felt that his body didn't belong to him anymore, and he didn't stop his rational call at all, his body was greedy for the temperature that Qi Fei touched.

Qi Fei shook his hand hard, then leaned over, gently and reverently kissed his hand.

Li Mingchen's heart and hands were shaking, he wanted to leave, but he didn't know why, he just couldn't move, he could only let Qi Fei stand up, and then hugged him in his arms, Li Mingchen didn't hug Qi Fei back, he didn't struggle, he just stood in place, Li Mingchen couldn't come back to his senses for a long time.

It's terrible, Qi Fei is too terrible, this person hurt him and ruined him before, and now this still makes him afraid, he is afraid of Qi Fei and afraid of the honesty of his body, for Qi Fei, no matter what kind of person he is or what he has done, he has no way to refuse, that is Qi Fei, that is the person he once loved in his bones.

It wasn't until Qi Fei let go of him that Li Mingchen seemed to suddenly regain his strength, he raised his hand in a dashing manner, inadvertently wiped the tears that were about to fall from his eyes, and then turned around in a dashing manner, Qi Fei watched the door slam shut in front of his eyes. He quietly looked at the direction of Li Mingchen's departure, and after watching it for a long, long time, his heart was still beating wildly, and the momentary feeling of holding Li Mingchen just now made his body shout uncontrollably.