When he saw Li Mingchen walking out of the company, Qi Fei had already finished smoking his third cigarette.

Obviously there is no expectation, but I don't know why I am still so impatient, eager to see him, even if it is just a figure, even if he is like countless times before, ignoring him and not stopping.

This is not necessarily a good thing, in a relationship where there is no possibility, the most feared is such an expectation, because you can't get a response, because you can't have a result, so all expectations will turn into a sharp sword in the end, hurting yourself.

Li Mingchen obviously saw Qi Fei as well, but he just walked towards his car and got into the car.

He didn't even give him an extra look, even a look of disgust, and he completely ignored him, when he was air?

Li Mingchen's aura today is not so strong, and even his back is very lonely, looking at Li Mingchen's back like that, Qi Fei couldn't help but feel a pain in his heart, he couldn't see Li Mingchen's unhappiness at all, even if he usually pretended to be happy, it could make him feel at ease, at least he was still proud, and he still had the energy to pretend, but now he didn't hide his sad back at all to make Qi Fei afraid.

Li Mingyang, who was with him, looked in the direction of Qi Fei, Qi Fei watched Li Mingchen's car leave, and then disappeared, and when he came back to his senses, as expected, Li Mingyang walked to his car, Li Mingyang stood outside the car window and knocked on the car window, his face was not good, Qi Fei rolled down the window. Li Mingyang's face was very dissatisfied.

"I said you're endless?"

Qi Fei was very helpless, "I just want to look at him from afar", he doesn't have to talk to him or anything, just watch from afar.

Li Mingyang suddenly smashed his fist on the car with great excitement, looking very excited, "Can you not show up again?" Do you know that every time you appear, he can't eat well or sleep well, can't you let him go forward?"

Li Mingyang's tone was already close to hysteria, he had endured it for a long time, and he had endured Qi Fei like this for a long time.

Why is Qi Fei so completely unself-aware? Why is he so persistent? What's the use of persistence? Persistence is also a kind of harm, hurting the rest of their lives and making them even more unhappy in the years to come.

Feifei didn't speak, just looked at him fixedly, this look couldn't help but make Li Mingyang feel a sense of sadness and palpitations in his heart.

He is the only person who knows about Li Mingchen's relationship, but it is precisely because of this that he has become the only person who knows Li Mingchen's inner pain, Li Mingchen has not told him the details of the past, and he does not want to know.

He just felt that whether it was right or wrong, it was over, and the two of them couldn't move forward properly? There is no point in staying where they are, because they can't go back, there are so many things that they can't go back

After staring at each other for a few seconds, Li Mingyang withdrew his eyes, he seemed a little prostrate, and he even had some requests.

"You let him live on his own, if you still have a little affection for him, you don't appear in front of him again. ”

Really don't appear again, doesn't he know? Doesn't he understand? Every time he appears, cracks appear in Li Mingchen's pretended strong heart again, and that feeling is as if he is tearing open a wound that he can't heal at all again and again, which makes people feel distressed.

Qi Fei turned his face away and looked into the distance lightly, he didn't understand, but there were some things, even if he told himself many times in his heart, but he couldn't decide his own steps, he didn't want to have a result, he just wanted to see, just looked at him like this, only by watching him and guarding him all the time, could he make his heart feel better.

He knew that this was his own salvation and that he needed to do it so that he could have a direction like all human beings.

But he never had the courage to ask, to ask Li Mingchen what he wanted in his heart, although in the past few years, Li Mingchen has not had any good looks for him, and even turned a blind eye to him, but he just has no way to give up, maybe it is not called giving up.

The one who pursues a result, and can't ask for it, is called giving up, and he has nothing to ask for, as long as he is good.

But is he really good? Can anyone really be good? It's like a house that has collapsed and can't get any better.

There is no point in keeping a silhouette that looks strong, because it is no longer able to withstand the wind and rain.

Qi Fei looked at the people coming and going outside the car window, and suddenly felt extremely lonely, he still felt lonely when he dived in such a sea of people. Everyone is working hard because they have their own ideals and directions, but they didn't take off, Qi Fei is just alive.

Just follow life and continue to breathe, but his heart is already a barren, such a life is too terrible, he doesn't dare to let himself be like this for the rest of his life, he doesn't want his heart to become a desert, so he must continue to love Li Mingchen.

This is his redemption for himself, and this is also the redemption given to him by Li Mingchen, as long as Li Mingchen exists, his life will have meaning for a day.

Li Mingyang didn't know when he left, Qi Fei sat alone in the car for a long time, and finally lit a cigarette.

His eyes hurt when the smoke was filled, and he also had moments when he could be truly vulnerable.

He often acts too strong, and after being strong for a long time, he is at a loss for his own vulnerability, in fact, he is fragile himself.

Despair, can't let go of his despair, can he let go? He even thinks that he can, but the premise is that if Li Mingchen is happy, if he meets his own happiness, if Li Mingchen can resolutely leave and fall in love with other people, he thinks, he may also be able to give up.

But Li Mingchen didn't, how long have they been apart. Li Mingchen has been lonely for a long time.

That loneliness is like a punishment and a hope, and it has been tugging at Qi Fei's heart, so that he can never let go.

It is this Li Mingchen that makes him even more unable to let go and unable to rest assured.

Starting the car, wandering aimlessly, he felt that he had nowhere to go, this city was too big, but if he didn't have such a corner in his heart, if he didn't have that direction, he felt that it would be very difficult to survive.

He needs a direction like Li Mingchen, although he can't catch up with that direction, but at least let him have the meaning of trying to chase down, live, and keep going, so that his life will not be without waves.

What Li Mingyang said is also true, whether it was before or now, although Li Mingchen has disguised himself well, he just knows that he can see his loneliness from his often unfocused eyes.

And he stubbornly felt that these things were brought to him by Qi Fei, maybe Qi Fei had given her happiness, he did not deny everything that Qi Fei had given, but now it was more pain, endless pain that extended to the future.

Even if it continues, this pain will continue until the end of life, is it just for pain to live in the world?

Li Mingchen has been running to the small apartment a little more recently, and his insomnia has become more frequent, but even if he can't sleep, he also wants to stay in this place, he doesn't know what is here, but it can make him more happy than staying in the big room in the house, although he doesn't know where the pleasure comes from, although the pleasure is always mixed with some other things.

Li Mingchen felt that he was not brave enough, not brave enough to love, and not brave enough to hate.

If he can love like crazy, completely ignoring his inner feelings, ignoring all moral conscience, and ignoring all those things that hinder him, then wouldn't he be able to be with Qi Fei without any worries? It's a pity that he doesn't have such ability.

But he can't be brave enough to hate, to hate a person firmly, to remember him firmly, the kind that doesn't miss him, remember.

If you completely treat a person as an enemy, you won't have that painful feeling, it's really a failure, love and hate are not extreme.

He hates and hates himself like this, but this is the truest self, this is the most real torment in his heart, not brave enough.

Maybe this is a person, people have too much to think about, and too much to worry about, he is becoming more and more unable to say, what kind of feelings do he have for Qi Fei now? But he doesn't want Qi Fei to die, at least not for him, he knew this a long time ago, so when Qi Fei was so seriously injured, he was also scared in his heart, maybe afraid that he couldn't afford it.

But he can't let Qi Fei have a good time, he also has to learn to be selfish, he can't be used and betrayed by Qi Fei, he can still sincerely hope that Qi Fei can move forward and meet happiness, he is not such a great man.

So he could only drag both of them in place and torture each other, and today, he was especially reluctant to see the takeoff.

Actually, maybe Qi Fei doesn't know or remember, but he will never forget, today is his mother's death day, he can't forget, there is a person who died because of him, and this person is the person who loves him the most in the world.

But he didn't have time to love and thank this man for giving him life, and this man left him in that way.

Qi Fei really didn't think about it, he didn't think about it at the beginning, but today Li Mingyang's attitude seemed to wake him up. Because he has watched Li Mingchen quietly a lot of times, Li Mingchen turned a blind eye, and Li Mingyang also turned a blind eye.

But today, Li Mingyang was so excited, because of Li Mingyang's attitude, Qi Fei seemed to think about it again, remembered, what kind of day is today, today should be the day when Li Mingchen feels the heaviest guilt.

Today is also the dividing line that they can't go back to, because the existence of today many years ago doomed them to be unable to turn back, no matter how hard they try, no matter how hard they try, they can't change the facts that have happened.