"Zi'an, when you received this letter, I'm afraid it was very surprised, right? Frankly, I was also surprised. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info: I never thought that one day you and I would come to the point of communicating by letter. You know, I'm not good at writing, and I feel like I'm better suited to face-to-face communication than appealing to the tip of the pen. I was going to say to you in front of you, to say those things that I had been hiding in my heart for a long time, but after a few attempts, a few times when things came to an end, I couldn't muster up the courage after all.

"So, let's write a letter - I can't remember how long I've not written, and if there is any nonsense or nonsense, please forgive me.

"Remember, Zi'an, I asked you, if one day I did something sorry for you, would you forgive me? Now, it's time for me to say sorry to you and ask for your forgiveness. As for me, I lied to you once, and that's not all, what's even more odious is that I secretly carried you behind your back, took down the graduation message you wrote to Liang Ya, and then imitated your handwriting and wrote a very ordinary, very general gift to Liang Ya, which is roughly such a thing.

"I have returned the pieces of paper you wrote to Liang Ya. By the time you read the letter, she probably was reading those pages of the belated graduation message. When you see Xiaoya in the future, please say sorry to her on my behalf, I'm really sorry, I don't want to do this kind of thing, and I have always regretted it. But at that time, I really couldn't control myself, really, like a demon, after reading these things you wrote for her, my head was full of thinking that if Liang Ya saw these messages, I was afraid that I would be a moth to the fire, and I would return to your arms desperately. I was stimulated by this fear that went deep into my bone marrow, and I was forced to do something bad that I had never done in my life, and then I felt deep guilt and apologies.

"Well, this matter has been buried in my heart for a long time, and now that I finally tell you, it can be regarded as a burden in my heart. In the past 19 years, although I am not a good child in the traditional sense, a good student who is smart and sensible in the eyes of teachers, this kind of intentional, even bad deception and coaxing, and violation of my code of conduct, is also the first time to do it, and probably will be the last time. I don't think I'll ever meet a guy who can make me abandon my principles of being a human being and do bad things regardless of my conscience.

"Speaking of which, I can finally tell the original meaning of my letter to you--something I never thought would come out of my mouth-Zi'an, let's break up, okay? Let's go back to a year ago, when I didn't muster up the courage to confess to you, just be a pair of ordinary friends, like you, Han Lin, and Liao Xiaoqing, okay? In this way, whether it is for you or for me, I think it will probably be the best ending.

"I know, Zi'an, when you hear the word 'break up', you will definitely be very confused, even shocked, to be honest, it is also a pretty shocking thing for me, and it is also a decision that I have thought about for a long time and mustered up a lot of courage.

"What made me decide to break up with you was not my guilt for you and Liang Ya, the graduation speech you wrote to Liang Ya made me cry every time I read it - although there are some reasons for this, but it is not the main reason, the main reason is that I really don't have the confidence to win your complete love, your unique love.

"In the past year, I have worked hard, giving, and wholeheartedly dealing with this relationship that I have earned. I told myself that since God had given me a chance to have you, I would seize it and never give up. No matter what mistakes he has or what he is not up to, it is because you have not worked hard enough, and you have not sincerely attracted him and impressed him.

"So, even if I find out that you have no feelings for Xiaoya, I tell myself not to be jealous, don't be unhappy, Xiaoya is your first love after all, you can't forget her for a while, and I don't want you to be a ruthless and unrighteous person, with a new love, forget your old love.

"So, even if I find out that you may have other girls besides me, if not less than the kind of interaction between me and you, I try to convince myself that it may be a relationship that you were employed before I met you, and you need time to deal with it, to end it. I need to give you more time.

"Zi'an, a year ago, I said that for the relationship between you and Liang Ya (and now maybe you have to add entanglements with other girls), I can wait, one month is not two months, two months is not half a year, a year, two years...... Wait until you accept me completely and treat me as your real, only girlfriend. I persevered for a year, and then I couldn't do it anymore. I found that I was not as brave, strong and generous as I thought. I could have waited half a year, a year, but I couldn't have waited any longer.

"And what makes me even sadder and more heart-wrenching is that in the year we have been dating, except for a few moments, we have been friends more than lovers. Although I am already your girlfriend, I can't see how much difference there is between me and you, and you and Liao Xiaoqing and Han Lin. In addition to being in the absence of people, we can have more physical contact.

"I know, Zi'an, you are kind, gentle, and have a good personality, although you have become famous in China and rich and powerful, you have never had a shelf and distance. Everyone around you, every girl, can get along with you in a friendly way, talk and laugh.

"But Zi'an, do you know? Sometimes what makes me feel the most hateful is your kind of undifferentiated fraternity that is kind to everyone. It makes me feel that although I am your girlfriend, I am actually a part of your fraternity, and the people around me, Liao Xiaoqing, Han Lin, Zhong Jiahui...... There is no essential difference between people and others. They are not as good as mine, and they probably lack a bit of the courage I once had. If they can muster up the courage to treat you like I used to be, they will probably soon become like me.

"This is the place where you make me the most 'hateful' and the least confident in myself.

"I can't grasp you, Zi'an. I can't appreciate how special you are to me—if not unique, even if it's just like what you've done to Liang Ya, and I'll be satisfied. Unfortunately, in the past year, I have not experienced this kind of special treatment once. Maybe I'll keep trying, I'll continue to deceive myself out of sight and out of mind, and one day I'll get the kind of special treatment I expected, but I'm too tired and I don't have confidence in myself. I can't change you for a year by your side, thousands of miles away from you, how can I hope for the love I haven't received?

"So, Zi'an, let's break up and be good friends again, okay?

"My mother told me many times from her own experience that when a man is rich, he becomes bad. She warned me that when looking for a boyfriend or husband in the future, you must not find someone who is too rich or you like too much, let alone self-lowering yourself and taking the initiative to pursue a man. Find someone who genuinely likes yourself and loves yourself more than you love each other. Otherwise, in the future when the two of us get along, I will suffer a loss, always be the weak party, and eventually repeat my mother's mistakes.

"Before, I didn't think so, I thought that if I couldn't find a boyfriend or husband, what was the point of finding someone I liked?

"Now, even though I still don't agree with my mother, I understand her more or less. Love is not just a blind effort to get what you want. It's really a two-person thing. If it is only one-sided by one person, and the other half does not feel about it, it is likely to end up in tragedy.

"Zi'an, when I say this, I don't regret my dedication to you, nor do I complain to you. Until now, I am more grateful to you than to blame, and happy more than regretful. I think I'm grateful to you. It was you who made me experience the taste of love, the taste of the first kiss, the taste of that kind of thing, the skin-to-skin blind date, the tenderness and sweetness, which surpassed my most beautiful and sweet longing for it. In this sense, I have no regrets, only the most sincere thanks!

"In addition to that, thank you for taking care of me over the past year, for all the tenderness you have given me. Although there is no grievance and chagrin I have for you in my words just now, it is just my frustration that I have to look forward to Shu and want to occupy you all but cannot be satisfied.

"To be fair, you've actually done your best for me, the girlfriend who came to the door: trying to make me feel comfortable, trying to give me dignity, trying trying to make me enjoy the tenderness you gave me. From beginning to end, you hid something from me, but you never lied to me, did you? I think if I asked you, according to your character, you would have confessed to me, didn't you? But I didn't want our relationship to go that far. I don't want you, and I embarrass me.

"Sometimes I think that if I don't want to get too much, if I turn a blind eye to something, we're going to keep going, right? You will not abandon me, like my father did to my mother, I still have this bit of faith. But if I'm really like that, really turn a blind eye to something, and turn a blind eye to something, am I still me? Or is it the same Sun Li who hates flaws and pursues perfection? Anyway, I'm also a beautiful woman that many boys like and pursue, isn't it? It seems that there is no need to be like no one wants to make compromises!

"From my father, I got something that can be called 'cold reality', that is, the better the man, the more countless women take the initiative to provoke, just like the class flowers in the school, the school girls are provoked by the boys. My father is like that, and you, Zi'an, are even more like that! Compared to my father's simple financial success, you have more talent than money! You will be a hundred, a thousand times more successful than my father in the future! Therefore, by your side, there will never be a shortage of girls like me, or even more beautiful than me!

"It was almost fate!

"As long as I continue to be with you, even if I don't face these problems now, in the near future, it will pop up and make me sad and sad. It's hardly at your or my will!"

Every time I think about it, I feel so hopeless that I can't see any hope!

"So, Zi'an, I choose to leave you, while I have no resentment towards you in my heart, only gratitude.

"Well, I'm tired of all that Lala has said, I guess you're tired of it.

"After going to the imperial capital, I will deactivate the original mobile phone number. As for the new mobile phone number and the landline number of the dormitory, I wonder if I want to tell you.

"I'm a little unsure. Anyway, let's talk about it then.

"It's going to be a new environment soon. I don't know what the future holds.

"I'm really looking forward to it!

"Finally, please don't forget to say sorry to Xiaoya for me. Lovers eventually become married, which is the best blessing for love. Zi'an, let me give it to you and Xiaoya. I really hope you can get back together. ”

"Lili who has always loved you.

"5 September 2001. (To be continued.) )