Feng Hao, this name, has been with me for ten years, but now, it is so strange and ethereal to me, since leaving Feng Xue's house, I have always been wandering alone, no one has ever called my name, now I heard it at first glance, my whole person immediately like an electric shock, my heart beat like a drum, I was even a little at a loss, panicked and scared, I slowly turned my head and followed the sound and looked cautiously.

Under the sun, a teenager in a white shirt came into my eyes, his skin was white, lined with white clothes, he looked clean and refreshing, I saw his face clearly, and immediately recognized him, he was my classmate in junior high school for three years, named Li Yuhao, is a veritable rich second generation. When he was in junior high school, he chased Feng Xue, but Feng Xue refused, and in high school, the three of us were still in the same school, but Feng Xue and I went to the key class, and Li Yuhao entered the ordinary class.

I never thought that I would meet an old acquaintance in this place under such circumstances, he was the one who threw the Jia Duo Bao bottle everywhere just now, but I only had the bottle in my eyes at that time, and I didn't pay attention to people at all, and now he recognized me first, and I was in a passive position, surprised and panicked.

Li Yuhao's eyes swept me up and down like a scanner, and then, he grinned exaggeratedly and said loudly: "It's really you, Feng Hao, I still can't believe it!"

When he said this, Li Yuhao's eyes lit up, and there was irrepressible excitement in his expression, but obviously, he was not happy because he was reunited with me, but couldn't help but gloat when he saw me alone pitifully picking up rags.

As soon as Li Yuhao's words fell, another voice rang out: "It's really Feng Hao, I thought I was wrong!"

Accompanying this voice came a fashionably dressed girl, who stepped forward from behind Li Yuhao with a sun umbrella, and her eyes stared straight at me with excitement that could not be concealed.

As soon as I saw her, my heart was even more panicked, she was also my classmate in junior high school, called Zhang Zihan, I was very impressed by her, because she was a big celebrity in the class, she was very beautiful, and Feng Xue was listed as the class flower in our class at that time, but she and Feng Xue belonged to a completely different type, Feng Xue is a beautiful and sweet girl, and she is a bewitching and charming goblin. At that time, she seemed to be a little interesting to me, but I didn't expect to get together with Li Yuhao now!

I didn't dare to look at them any more, so I quickly turned around and hurried forward, if I could, I really wanted to disappear in front of them immediately, I didn't want them to see me like this, I didn't want to be ridiculed and sarcastic by them.

However, the truth always backfired, I only walked a few steps, Li Yuhao quickly chased after me, he stopped in front of me, smiled at me and said: "Don't rush to go, old classmates meet, chat!"

After Li Yuhao finished speaking, Zhang Zihan also came over and sneered at me: "Yes, I heard that you ran away from home, but why are you picking up garbage here?"

These two people are like adulterers and adulteresses, singing and harmonizing here, they have no sympathy for my situation, some are just playfulness and ridicule, it seems that the more miserable and humiliating I am, the happier they are, and they stop me, just to see how ugly I am.

I was so ashamed and uncomfortable that I didn't dare to admit myself, so I quickly lowered my head and said softly: "I'm sorry, you recognized the wrong person!"

Saying that, I bypassed them and wanted to continue leaving, but Li Yuhao didn't intend to let me go like this, he even grabbed my arm, and said excitedly: "Haha, your voice is more like, Feng Hao, don't be embarrassed to admit it, picking up garbage is not a shameful thing, at least self-reliance, I admire it, have you eaten? or I'll treat you to a bowl of wontons, you shouldn't have eaten such a good thing for a long time, haha!"

Li Yuhao's every word was very harsh, and his words were all playing and teasing, and my heart trembled when I listened to it. When I was studying in the past, I didn't look down on Li Yuhao at all, I still had my own sense of superiority in my bones, and what Li Yuhao hated the most at that time was my arrogance, especially when he knew that Feng Xue had a very close relationship with my adopted brother, so he looked at me even more unpleasantly. So, now that he sees that I am down, he is so excited, looking at his posture, he is planning to humiliate me endlessly.

I was tormented to stay here for an extra second, and I didn't want to be mocked by them all the time, so I directly said coldly: "I said, I'm not Feng Hao!"

With that, I shook off Li Yuhao and left quickly.

This time, Li Yuhao didn't stop me again, he just hooked his lips playfully, and said to Zhang Zihan next to him: "I remember that you showed your love to Feng Hao in junior high school because of his good grades in studying, but he was rejected, look, what's the use of studying well, it's not just that you can only pick up garbage." It's a good thing you didn't get along with him, otherwise you'd have to pick up garbage, so how could you have the chance to travel with me?"

When Zhang Zihan heard this, she was not happy, she pursed her red lips and retorted: "What about me, didn't you also chase Feng Xue at the beginning? Feng Xue is lame now, if you don't get along with me, you will have to take care of a disabled person for the rest of your life!"

Hearing their words, my heart felt more like it had been shattered with a blunt object, and my back stiffened, but my steps did not stop, and I walked faster and farther until I could no longer hear their voices.

It's just that, no matter how far I go, the blows brought to me by these two people are always like shadows, tightly wrapped around me, and I feel like I am being strangled by my throat, and I can't breathe, and I feel extremely uncomfortable.

During this time, my heart has gradually become numb, I deliberately suppressed the pain, and I didn't think about the future, even if I lived without dignity and no fun, but I still survived. But today, when I met Li Yuhao and Zhang Zihan, I wrapped my shell, and they lifted it all at once, my pain, my past, and my self-esteem were all exposed nakedly, and I had to face this humiliating reality again.

The reality is so cruel, Feng Xue and I have become the laughing stock of others, how good we used to be, and how bleak we are now. At the beginning of school, Feng Xue was the perfect goddess in the hearts of many people, and I was also favored by countless girls, I looked good, and my reading grades were top, and girls thought I was handsome and smart, and they flocked to me. At that time, Feng Xue and I were both outstanding, we were together every day, and our lives were really smooth and happy. However, because of my cowardice and my uselessness, Feng Xue fell into the abyss, and I fell into the situation I am in today.

The more I thought about it, the more I was suffocated by the pain, and once again I was crushed by reality, and my heart ached. As fast as I could, I returned to the unfinished building on the construction site in embarrassment, and returned to my airy and leaky nest.

For the next two days, I didn't go out again, I completely closed myself off, I didn't dare to face anyone again, I was even more afraid of meeting acquaintances again, no matter who it was, seeing me from an excellent top student to a scrap-picking waste, I couldn't help but laugh at it, Li Yuhao and Zhang Zihan After returning to school, they will definitely tell my situation as a joke, will it spread throughout the school at that time?

I'm afraid, I'm afraid that Feng Xue will know that I'm so wasteful, I once swore that I was determined to change myself, make myself strong and capable, and impress Feng Xue and my adoptive parents, but in the end, the facts only proved that I was an out-and-out waste, I couldn't do anything, I only deserved to pick up garbage here to live, so what kind of face did I have to face Feng Xue, what is the point of living such a life?

Suddenly, a very firm thought came to my mind, I want to escape, escape from this world, I don't want to face anyone anymore, I don't want to live a life of shameful waste, I don't want to affect others because of my incompetence!

With this thought, my whole person suddenly understood, I seemed to have found the direction, found the most suitable path for me, yes, I live in this world is a burden and a shame, I live too tired and unbearable, only when I die, I can get liberation, can I let go of the sins and humiliation in my heart, can I completely get rid of everything, only when I die, is it really a hundred.

I made up my mind, I immediately walked out of my broken house, I didn't eat for two days, I was dizzy with hunger, and I was very weak to walk, but my inner belief was firm and powerful, with this belief, I came to a specialty store, and bought a new set of clothes with the more than 200 yuan I had saved by picking up garbage.

After changing my clothes, I went to look for death, but, how to die, but it is a difficult problem, I don't want my body to be discovered, I don't want Feng Xue's family to collect my body, before I died, I was even tired of Feng Xue, after death, I can't drag her down anymore.

After thinking about it, in the end, I decided to jump into the sea. Only in this way can my body go with the flow, so that everyone can not find it, I am a superfluous person, then, let me disappear into this world completely!

In the evening, I came to the edge of a cliff in the suburbs, which was very remote and uninhabited, with a high cliff and an endless sea below.

Standing on the edge of the cliff, facing the sea, my heart was surprisingly calm, the sunset in the distance emitted a blood-red light, and one of my faces, reflected in the light, revealed a resolute quiet. I thought that in the face of death, I would have unwillingness, nostalgia, and even more fear, but I didn't expect that when I really came to this last step, my mood did not fluctuate. At this moment, I finally understood the calmness and calmness that Feng Xue felt before jumping off the building, it turned out that death was not terrible.

Gradually, the sunset sank, the light gradually dimmed, I stood here for a long time, like a sculpture, until the sun completely disappeared into the sea level, I slowly closed my eyes, and whispered softly: "Xiaoxue, I'm sorry!"

As I spoke, I opened my arms and slowly fell down towards the vast sea in front of me!