Although Feng Yan still has a few close relatives, she never moves. Knowing her situation, no one came. Therefore, when Feng Yan died, I was the only "relative" by my side.

At that time, I was in the sixth grade.

It's been half a year since I last saw her.

Officer Zhang went directly to the school to pick me up.

Officer Zhang and I have always been estranged, no, to be precise, a layer of things. Something that can't be resolved.

That kind of thing, it's hard to tell.

Along the way, I just sat silently in the car.

When I watched the car continue to drive towards the labor market, I couldn't sit still.

I'm sensitive to that place.

He saw my abnormality, held the steering wheel, looked ahead indifferently and said, "Feng Yan is dead, I'll take you over." ”

My brain "buzzed", and the whole world fell silent in an instant!

She's dead?

So fast?

I had imagined that she would die, and from the last time I saw her with Fu Xiangqin, I seemed to be able to predict her death.

arrived at Feng Yan's storefront.

The police had already pulled the police at the door, and a few steps after getting out of the police car, I saw a familiar figure in the distance - Sister Mei.

When Sister Mei saw me, she frowned slightly, and there was a bottomless sophistication in her eyes.

Officer Zhang took me into the store, where several police officers were taking pictures.

However, they were taking pictures in that small room with a partition, and I couldn't see the situation inside from the outside.

Subsequently, I cooperated with the police to make a record.

I also heard a rough idea of the small talk of the police.

Feng Yan is taking drugs.

Fatal overdose.

Feng Yan originally had some small jewelry or something, but she sold it.

The police checked the call records at the time, and the most contacted was Ah Meng, the local snake who came to ask for debts and beat Feng Yan after drinking.

Subsequently, Ah Meng, who was handcuffed, was brought to the scene to identify.

Ah Meng said that the two of them were in the store last night, and Feng Yan played like crazy after drinking, and ended up having a good time.

At the time I didn't know about drugs, but now I do.

It's just that I never thought that she would choose such a path when she was at the most vulnerable in her life, and she would never go back after stepping on it.

But slowly, with my understanding of Feng Yan, I knew so clearly why she did that.

She is a mother.

Her son followed her father, who had just been released from prison, on that poisonous road, she was anxious, but helpless......

How do I persuade Ali to come back?How do I let him know about my mother's worries?How can I see him!?

Dead......

Isn't he a drug dealer? I'll take drugs, I'll kill you! I want Ah Li to know that drugs kill people! Moreover, it's his own mother who kills them!

Perhaps, that's what she thought?

Looking at the gloomy sky outside, I wrapped my coat around myself.

It's the wax moon, and it's almost the New Year.

Ah Zhu also died at this node of the New Year, and also died on the festival when the whole family was about to be reunited.

Is this a coincidence?

No......

Everyone will have thoughts, and everyone has a thread in their hearts that supports them to live. That thread pulls us and lets us fly in this world against the wind.

However, Spider's thread broke, and she died.

Now, Feng Yan's thread is also broken, and she is also dead......

When the police asked Ah Meng what to say, I quietly walked to the second floor and sat down quietly at the corner of the familiar staircase.

Then, he looked at Feng Yan's corpse so quietly.

I remember that Ah Spider died peacefully. Dressed neatly like an angel, lying on the red service bed, wearing white pajamas, quiet and beautiful.

However, Feng Yan died so struggling......

She also died in the service bed.

At this moment, the sheets were extremely messy, there were bloody marks on the wall, and she was covered in bruises, as if she had been abused.

Her legs were bent over the messy sheets, her hands stiffened as if they were about to grasp something.

Her death is like an abstract painting of the devil.

But at that moment, I didn't cry, and I didn't get scared......

It's like the state when I first saw her and a strange man Yunyu, empty.

Living in this world, people will always see another strange "scenery" that they have never seen before, and then under the influence of those "scenery", they will gradually change the original world in their hearts.

Death, ingested a lot of information in my upbringing.

It stimulates me, shocks me, and makes me precocious.

I walked out of Feng Yan's store "indifferently" and got into the car with Officer Zhang.

Officer Zhang's surprised gaze swept over me, and I was still cold.

"Are you scared?" he asked softly.

I shook my head.

He turned the car keys a little unnaturally and lit the fire to go home.

After Fu Xiangqin learned that Feng Yan died, she also comforted me. I also said it was fine.

However, when you go to bed at night, you can't do it.

After the quilt was covered and the world was quiet, the scenes from when I got along with Feng Yan in the past quickly occupied my mind at an incredible speed.

She once bought me and Feng Li pencil cases,

She once made us braised pork,

She used to take me to the park gate to buy the cheapest kind of ice cream.

She once carried Li Sheng on her back to buy me a piece of laundry during the Chinese New Year.

She used to ......

She was!

She used to be my mother!!

And what about me......

And me!?

I let her die so sinkingly!

An extremely strong sense of shame and hindsight made me suddenly break down and cry!

Fu Xiangqin turned on the light excitedly, hugged me and asked what's wrong?

I just cried vigorously, and I cried tiredly.

I cried hoarsely, crying and vomiting filth all over the ground!

……

Fu Xiangqin understood why I was crying, so she asked Officer Zhang to take me to bury Feng Yan.

I thought I would make her angry when I went to bury Feng Yan, but she stroked my head and praised me for being a grateful child.

At that time, I didn't know much about the word gratitude, but I just thought that Feng Yan had raised me and cooked for me, and I had called her a few times.

I should do something for her.

I don't understand the so-called high morality or something. All I know is that at that moment, after kneeling in front of her grave and burning the paper, after kowtowing, it felt like something had been put down.

The heart has stabilized a lot.

Turning my head to look at the mass grave on the other side, I don't know if there is my own mother's in there.

Maybe there is, maybe not, but I can't find it anymore.

There is always a kind of person in this world who dies very ethereally. Ethereal like livestock generally does not attract anyone's attention.

I asked Officer Zhang, and Officer Zhang said that there were many, many homeless and unclaimed corpses. Generally, it is handed over to the civil administration, and the police also have it. Some will be placed for cremation and burial, while others will be tested as a medical autopsy.

As I listened, my heart shook and I was helpless.

For my birth mother, she was only a vague shadow in my mind.

The woman who was black and ragged, the woman who wandered like a ghost.

……

After Feng Yan died, he died again.

It was the summer vacation half a year later.

It was Zhang Liang's grandfather who died.

He already had severe tuberculosis and was wheezing heavily.

His death was a death that everyone would have foreseen. Originally, he had been in the hospital for a month and a half, and the doctor had issued several critical illness notices. Therefore, his death can be regarded as a peaceful death.

Zhang Liang's grandfather had a son of Zhang Lei, and after Officer Zhang sold his old house after his death, our family bought a new three-bedroom house.

Officer Zhang has been looking at that house for a long time, after all, I have been in the same room with Fu Xiangqin all day long, and he is in the same room with Zhang Liang, and the nightlife of the two is very inconvenient.

Moved into a new home and I had my own bedroom.

The feeling of having your own "territory" is really comforting.

Celebrating the move to a new house, Fu Xiangqin made a lot of delicious food, and Zhang Liang was also happy that he no longer shied away from me coming to the table to eat with us.

Everything is slowly turning to stability.

All the hustle and bustle is slowly gone.

&

Fu Xiangqin especially likes to dress me, as if mothers all over the world like to dress up their own girls.

She dressed me like a princess, and I slowly began to stand out in the crowd.

Fu Xiangqin made me feel confident, don't walk with my head always down.

She did her best to make me fresh, make me fresh, and make me a little beauty.

Slowly, in junior high school, boys began to write me love letters.

Although there are a few people around me who still talk about my bad history, I counter them with my academic performance and excellent appearance.

Diligence and cheerfulness have gradually become my labels.

But there is still no real friend......

There was once a little girl who played very speculatively, and I studied well and tutored her in her homework. She happily took me to her house to do my homework.

Her mother was very kind to me and made delicious food for the two of us. The two of us were happily eating.

However, one day after she found out about me being a "young lady", she never let me go to her house again, and the distance seemed to fade away.

Since then, I've never been so bothered to make friends with people.

Forever if you leave, but also forever taste, smiling, never confiding your bitterness and listening. They're small, they don't understand.

When I was in the second year of junior high school, Zhang Liang was in the first year of junior high school.

It's still the old tradition – no one knows anyone.

When Zhang Liang was in his second year of junior high school, I was in my third year of junior high school.

When I was in the third year of junior high school, I grew to 1.73 meters.

Moreover, I feel that I will grow because when my body is growing rapidly, I always have that kind of dream of jumping off buildings when I sleep at night. Then, when I woke up, my legs were numb.

Fu Xiangqin said that it was because the bones grew very fast.

Chu is thirty-six years old. Because they all knew that I had a dad who was a police officer, so no one bullied me. Otherwise, I'm afraid my two long straight legs would have caused me a lot of trouble.

However, they didn't bother me, and Zhang Liang, who grew up in the family, began to do something to me.

Because of the junior high school curriculum, Fu Xiangqin felt a little difficult to tutor.

And because after she was promoted in the hospital, her affairs were also busier.

I studied well, so Fu Xiangqin and Officer Zhang asked me to tutor my younger brother well, and I naturally had to obey orders.

However, how to say it, Zhang Liang is also a fifteen-year-old boy, and he inherited Officer Zhang's tall height, which is almost 1.7 meters.

As he grew older and under the influence of various ignorant thoughts in adolescence, not only did he begin to have a delicate beard and pimples on his face, but his heart also changed, and the look in my eyes slightly began to make me feel that something was wrong.

That kind of gaze, I'm familiar with it.

Especially in the summer, when I wear less at home, he will stare at me in a daze, and my heart is a little numb when I see it.

I am a girl who "understands that", and when I was in Feng Yan's shop, I saw that kind of "look" a lot!

At that moment, I felt that this bad boy had grown up......