Flaming red lips are the most glamorous kind of makeup for women.

It's just that if ordinary women are smeared with that charm, they can't exert that strong temptation.

Even among the models in our nightclubs, there aren't many women who can handle it.

And I was able to navigate it because of my dark past.

I also believe that a woman who has not experienced darkness, has not experienced the ups and downs of love, and has not experienced the entanglement of life and death cannot control it.

When you experience it, you will look down, when you look down on those smoke clouds, a little red, a light look, the flaming red lips seem to be alive.

It's just that if I were to be reborn again, I wouldn't want to live so coldly by myself.

I'd prefer to be ordinary if I could. A simple family, healthy parents, a plain and smooth life trajectory......

But I didn't, it was predestined from the moment I was born.

I don't know where I was born, and for as long as I can remember, I've been wandering with mentally ill silly mothers.

When I was more than four years old, the stupid mother died.

That's what happened after I was put in a shelter with my stupid mother.

However, she did not die in the shelter, but on the way to "chase people".

To be honest, I have a vague memory of that time, but I remember her death very well.

His face was covered in blood, the corners of his mouth were grinning, and his gums were exposed. She died laughing with joy.

I was taken by the police to identify me, and the police asked me, do you know her?

I nodded, didn't say a word, and couldn't speak.

The police also thought I was a fool and stopped asking me after they were sure it was my mother.

There were many onlookers next to me, pointing at my mother's outrageous belly, pointing and saying something, woo woo, I couldn't understand anything. At that time, I didn't know what pregnancy was, but I remember many nights when some homeless people beat me away, and when I came back, I would see the stupid girl being crushed by those homeless people.

If I hit them, they will push them away, and then, the stupid girl is still laughing.

After seeing the scene of the death, I was taken by the police to the recovery shelter.

When I was in the car, I remembered my mother running out of the shelter. She was sitting in the courtyard with me, but when she suddenly saw the big green trucks (which I later learned were military vehicles) passing by, her eyes suddenly changed from a state of distraction to excitement.

Then, like crazy, he rushed out.

Later, he died.

That's the only woman I've been with since I was sensible. Although she was stupid, although she was like a kitten and a puppy, I instinctively knew that it was my mother.

When I remembered it in hindsight, I cried in the police car.

I cry because I miss her, I want to find her. For a four-year-old, it is simply not known what death is.

At that time, the shelter was not as strict as it is now, so it was much easier for me to escape.

That night, I ran away.

After all these years of wandering with a stupid girl, rummaging through the trash cans everywhere, there is no problem at all in living.

At that time, I ate everything, and I didn't get sick, unlike now, when I ate well, I would have stomach trouble at every turn.

I began to wander and look for my mother on my own.

More than a month has passed.

The people in the area where I wandered knew me, and many of the children threw stones at me when they saw me, shouting "Fool!

There were also a lot of kids who came running up to me and took off my pants, and when they took them off, they laughed and said, "It's a stupid girl!

At that time, I was so scared that I couldn't cry. Also, I'm worried that they'll snatch what I picked up from the trash can, and run away while they're not paying attention to put on their pants!

When I got used to being motherless, a beautiful woman came into my life and changed my life.

I can't even remember where I met her, except that she took a little girl of seven or eight years old and took me downstairs to her house. To be precise, he lured me with two buns.

In the 90s, there were very few people in our suburbs who could live in an upstairs.

However, I remember very well that she lived in a building. She also has a row of bungalow storage rooms downstairs.

She walked to a door, and that door was different, the other houses were all iron, and her house didn't even have a door.

She left the bun in the doorway, smiled at me, and took the little girl upstairs without further words.

When I went to get the buns at the door, I was stunned, because I saw a lot of food in the pantry, sausages, steamed buns, and even fruits.

From then on, that place became my nest.

That very beautiful woman will bring me food.

People will be spoiled, and they will have a sense of dependence. In particular, there will be a kind of motherly dependence on that kind and friendly face.

Occasionally, she would move a small pony to sit at the door of the pantry and talk to me, but I had been with the silly lady for a long time, and she had never taught me to speak, and I couldn't speak.

I can understand, though. He nodded or shook his head at her.

She would smile and touch my head.

In the days that followed, I was like a free-range dog for her. During the day, I ran out to wander around, and I was accidentally beaten, and when I was beaten, I ran to that nest.

I was in that litter for two years, and when I was six and a half years old, she suddenly wanted to take me upstairs.

That's where I ever dreamed of going.

So, I remember that day very clearly. I remember that the sun was setting in the west, and the shadow of the west courtyard wall was long, long. When I walked into the unit door with her, I looked up at her face, and in the afterglow, her face looked as good as the mother of those normal children I saw on the side of the road.

She bathed me and said she would take me to something delicious.

All I know is to laugh, to have her with me, and she makes me feel good about anything.

After the shower, she changed me into a dress, which was not new, but it was clean.

Out of the neighborhood, she took me on a bicycle, and I still remember that the bike was yellow.

When I arrived at the hotel, she carried me into a private room. There are lots and lots of delicious food on the table.

A man sat in the innermost position, and when he stood up, I saw that he was shirtless.

I hate shirtless men who stand in the doorway and don't dare to enter.

"Go, sit down and eat. She said with a nudge on my back.

After I sat down, the rest of the matter was not very clear, except that they had a good conversation at the table, and when they left, the man gave me a doll.

I was holding the doll, and when I turned around inadvertently, I saw a woman counting money, which I had never seen before.

Later, I realized that I was actually sold.

It's just that at that time, I was still stupid to stand at the man's door every day and wait for her, and when I couldn't wait, I ran out to find her while the man wasn't paying attention.

The man who bought me is called Li Sheng, and he has nothing to do all day, but he is never short of money.

During that time, he watched me all day long, and chased me when he saw me running out, but he never hit me after catching up with me, but would coax me very patiently.

When I met a neighbor on the way, he would smile and tell others that I was his daughter and ask me to call me daddy.

Slowly, after getting used to it, I stopped running. After all, he's been so nice to me.

He would take the trouble to bathe me and put me to sleep with his arms after the shower.

He told me to lie down and stroked me little by little, and I forgot a lot of details.

I just remember that I cried out in pain, and I cried and screamed when it hurt!

Later, he seemed to have lost interest in my yelling and stopped sleeping with me in his arms.

However, I was used to being hugged by him, and when I ran up to let him hug me, he kicked me out of bed, and then I had a good time talking to others on the phone.

I could hear him talking to a woman.

Within a few days, a bewitching woman came to the house, named Feng Yan.

I also brought a boy three or four years older than me, named Feng Li.

So, "a family of four" lived together.

Li Sheng asked me to call Feng Yan to call my mother, and Feng Li to call my brother.

Brother Feng Li is more indifferent than me, but two indifferent people are actually easier to get along with than two enthusiastic people.

After a long time, although we don't talk much, we have a very special tacit understanding with each other.

When the bed where Li Sheng and Feng Yan were tossing in the nest creaked, Feng Li would open his eyes and look at me, and when Feng Yanlang screamed, he would put his hand on my ear and cover it.

Then, we stared at each other with wide eyes, without saying a word.

Time passed, and I went to school.

During that time in school, I forgot how many fights Feng Li fought for me, and at that time, many people in the school knew me and called me a stupid girl. Feng Li listened to the beating again and again until everyone was beaten and shut up.

However, he was three years older than me, and when I was in the fourth grade, he graduated from junior high school.

As soon as I graduated, the people who had been beaten began to call me a fool again.

At that time, my classmates would tell the teacher that I was stupid. The teacher didn't believe it at first, but then he did. Because, when I went to school, I was tall and sat in the last row, and I didn't speak when the teacher asked questions. At that time, I didn't know if I was stupid or not.

If my academic performance can represent whether a person is stupid or not, my grades are indeed stupid. Another bit of stupidity is that I sit in the last row and don't say anything when my eyes are astigmatism and I can't see the blackboard clearly.

It's just that no matter how others call me stupid, I won't let Feng Li know anymore, because I don't want him to fight for me anymore.

I care about him more than Feng Yan, because I know that he is the only person in this world who really cares about me.

However, the more you care about something, the more you lose something.

When I was twelve years old, the two of them were chased away by Li Sheng.

The reason is, I'm on a period.

I still can't forget Li Sheng's strange eyes when I cried and said that I was bleeding from underneath......