One pill, one choice2014-6-2722:12Read (3496)

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After hesitating and struggling in the hospital for a few days, I finally made a difficult choice today. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

Just before I was hospitalized, my novel also wrote a plot with the theme of "choice", which roughly involves an innocent person who can become a villain with irreparable consequences. But it is also possible to resist demonization and become a decent person. And the protagonist has to choose whether to kill this innocent person before he changes, and this choice will have a very significant impact.

In the end, the protagonist chooses to kill the innocent man to avoid more serious consequences.

The purpose of writing this episode is to express the idea of the importance of "choice". Killing an innocent person is certainly a wrong act, and he has to bear the infamy of murder, but in order to avoid greater danger, he can only make this choice.

A person's choice will determine a person's fate.

In the novel, I am God and I can decide the fate of all the characters. But in the book Real Life, I'm just a character. In the past few days, the God of the dark has thrown me an equally difficult choice, that is, how to fight the hepatitis B virus.

My hepatitis B viral load is already very high, tens of thousands of times exceeded, and there are 10 to the power of 7 viruses in 1ml of blood. So many viruses, replicating all the time, becoming more and more numerous, destroying my liver until a recent attack, there was abnormal liver function. If it is not suppressed, it may eventually lead to liver cirrhosis and even liver cancer, and there is only a dead end at that time.

When I was a child, I always heard hospital advertisements for liver cirrhosis, diabetes, and liver cancer on TV, and at that time I felt that it was not the same thing as me, and I didn't even know what these diseases were, and I thought it was no big deal. But in the past few days, I have deeply understood the horror of these diseases. On my left-hand side of the hospital bed, there was a male patient with cirrhosis, who had reached the stage of hepatic ascites when he came, with edema of his lower limbs and his stomach full of ascites, like a pregnant woman. There is also a liver cancer patient in the same ward, lying on the darkest bed every day, it is difficult to walk, and he also has diabetes, and he can't even eat more rice, because there is sugar in rice, he has to take insulin, diuretic injections, thymus peptides and other drugs every day. Yesterday afternoon, there was a critically ill patient in the next ward, suddenly vomiting blood, a large group of doctors rushed to the rescue, the corridor was full of people, wandering back and forth uneasily, looking through the crack in the door, the instrument screen next to the bed, there were colorful wavy lines, very terrifying. Later, the patient was transferred to the ICU and I don't know what is going on now......

There are all kinds of living examples in front of my eyes, if the number of viruses is not controlled, and if they are allowed to grow explosively, they will eventually become them.

What I'm about to do now is to be antiviral, but the antiviral means have side effects!

At present, there are only two mainstream antiviral methods recognized in the world. One is interferon. Interferon is divided into short-acting and long-acting, short-acting injections every other day, long-acting once a week, no matter which one should be given continuously for a year and a half. There are many cancers that are also treated with interferon, which is equivalent to mini-chemotherapy. Interferon has a strong effect, but the side effects are also large, fever, nausea are common to most people, and there will be hair loss, mental confusion, depression, and even induce diabetic hyperthyroidism and other terrifying symptoms. After one and a half years of injection, there is only a 20-30% probability of antigen to negative seroconversion. Of course, turning negative does not mean that it is cured, but that the virus is calm and will not destroy your liver for the time being, similar to a normal person, just like me a long, long time ago, but it may continue to attack in the future, and when the time comes, it will continue to fight the virus, in short, this disease will not be cured, similar to a small AIDS.

The other is to take nucleotide medications. There are four main types, lamivudine, adefuwei, telbivudine, and entecavir. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages, lamivudine is the earliest on the market, the safest, but the drug resistance rate is high, and the virus is easy to mutate after a long time; Adefuwei has a low drug resistance rate, and AIDS is also eating this, but the antiviral ability is weak, and there is potential nephrotoxicity...... No matter which one you take, once you eat it, you can't stop it, at least for more than two years, you have to eat it every day, and if the virus mutates, you can change the medicine and continue to eat, and it is difficult to achieve successful discontinuation. When the drug is forcibly stopped, the virus often grows explosively in a short period of time, which is more serious than before treatment, and even causes liver failure, and 90% of liver failure will die.

These two methods, whether it is injections or medicines, are very long-term processes, at least two years or more of the course of treatment, some people have even been taking it for ten years and have not successfully stopped taking the medicine, and continue to take it, maybe for life. However, the virus mutates faster and faster, and there are fewer and fewer treatments, so we can only race against time, and hope that science and technology will develop newer and more powerful drugs in advance to continue the next step of treatment.

It can be said that once you embark on the road of fighting the virus, it is equivalent to embarking on an extremely difficult road, with no end in sight. But you can't stop halfway, and the result of stopping is even more serious.

And now, all of a sudden, I'm going down this path. A few days ago, I was still living as peacefully as everyone else, and I didn't even know what anti-virus was, thinking that it was something from another world, and I couldn't fight with myself. But all of a sudden, I was about to embark on such a path, and I was very helpless for the past few days, and I was going through torment all the time, and I was searching for the rest of the ways repeatedly.

In fact, there is no other way, there are safer methods, such as the legendary autoimmune elimination virus, as long as the autoimmunity is strong, lucky, the own immunity can remove these viruses, naturally turn negative, no need to take medicine, not to mention side effects. But this is a small probability event, and in the few cases that occur in female patients, there are very few male patients.

And the second way is to take Chinese medicine. This is also a way for me to have high hopes, some people do take Chinese medicine to eat and turn yin, but there is no authoritative clinical data on traditional Chinese medicine, Chinese medicine treatment is more of a fragmented state, and there are too many ancestral secret recipes, mixed fish and dragons, I don't know what is true. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) requires syndrome differentiation and treatment, and the same prescription may not be suitable for everyone. In addition, the quality of the current Chinese herbal medicines is not good, the large area of soil pollution in our country, the heavy metals of the Chinese herbal medicines grown exceed the standard, and eating it will increase the burden on the liver, and the liver is not good, which is tantamount to adding insult to injury.

Traditional Chinese medicine plays more of a conditioning role, and has significant effects on liver function, lowering aminotransferases, reducing jaundice, and anti-liver cirrhosis, but it has very limited antiviral effects, and is often used as an auxiliary means at present. I originally had the purpose of taking Chinese medicine, so I came to Shanghai Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and the doctor I saw was a famous Chinese medicine expert professor, but he still gave me Western medicine to fight the virus, and Chinese medicine was used as an auxiliary.

Perhaps in this world, there are indeed some Chinese medicine practitioners who can use pure Chinese medicine to fight viruses, and there are indeed a small number of effective ancestral secret recipes, such as black ant therapy, knotweed leaf beads, etc., and some lucky people do use Chinese medicine to lower the virus. But there are more cases of failure, some people have taken Chinese medicine for many years, and they have seen various Chinese medicine practitioners, but they are still not good, which requires a certain amount of luck. Now, I don't have the energy and time to toss anymore, I have no way to test the medicine, I have to make a choice.

At present, the treatment plan formulated by the doctor for me is to take Adefuwei for a short period of time, reduce the viral load for a while, and then choose the opportunity to inject interferon, and then stop Adefuwei and use interferon. Adefuwei had already sent it to me the day before yesterday, and since then he has sent one pill a day. But I didn't eat it for a few days, and every day I took out the small white pill, put it in the palm of my hand and looked at it for a while, and then put it back again, struggling fiercely in my heart.

In the past few days, I have looked through countless materials, gone to various forums and websites, and said everything from hundreds of schools. All kinds of voices surrounded me, and I didn't know which one was the right one.

Sometimes, I complain about the unfairness of fate, why I was born with this disease, why I made such a difficult choice. Why didn't I get vaccinated within 24 hours of birth? Many people are healthy and healthy all their lives, and even if they are infected with the hepatitis B virus, the antibodies will automatically eliminate it. For people who have not been vaccinated, after being infected with the hepatitis B virus, it is also very easy to treat, and if some adults with a well-developed immune system, some do not even need treatment, the immunity in the body can automatically eliminate the virus. Even in patients with mother-to-child transmission of hepatitis B, the incidence rate in women is much lower than that in men, and it is easier to treat the disease, and even cure surface antibodies, achieving the legendary goal of being close to cure. And I am a male with mother-to-child transmission.

If I didn't have this disease, I would be in Harbin now, and I bought today's ticket a while ago and decided to go to Harbin, and then go to Inner Mongolia to have a ride, ride a horse, see the blue sky and grassland, and live a leisurely life. But now, I'm lying on the hospital bed, holding the little white pill, looking at it and looking at it.

Come to think of it, it's all your choice. A person has to go through countless choices in his life, and these choices are what make up a person's life. It's just that we often experience passive choices, choices made unconsciously, for example, the next second I decided to go out to buy a watermelon, and then met a very important person in my life, and maybe I was halfway through, and suddenly bent down to tie my shoelaces, and then missed her. This choice is passive, something we can't control, like fate. And I can't choose that I'm mother-to-child transmission, I'm born like that, it's my destiny.

However, those life-changing moments are often the ones who make their own choices and are in their own hands. When I was in college, I saw a promotional video about hepatitis B, which talked about the seriousness of hepatitis B, and I was a little scared at that time, and I paid attention to it for a while, and I didn't dare to stay up late or eat casually. But I didn't choose to keep going, I still had to get by. In the past few years of physical examination, aminotransferases have gone from normal to gradually abnormal, and even last year I have done a viral DNA quantification, which was 10 to the 6th power, but it has not yet occurred, and I have also paid attention to it for a period of time, and I have not stayed up late, but I have not chosen to stick to it, and I have acted arbitrarily, which has led to today's consequence. Fate has made many passive choices for me, giving me so many opportunities to pay attention to this disease, but I have not made the right choice and I have to face this difficult choice until today.

But when you think about it, I've made a lot of big choices, but those choices that I thought were big are not big now. Recently, I saw many people checking the college entrance examination scores and choosing what to fill in, and I couldn't help but think of myself back then, I also felt very confused back then, and I felt that I had to make an important choice in my life, and I didn't know if the university I filled in was good or bad, but I just filled it in. Now it seems that my volunteer at that time was not very important, and it has nothing to do with the profession I am engaged in now, and what I was worried about at the time seems ridiculous now. Because after a choice, there will be more choices, choose what university to study, and more importantly, how to spend it when choosing college. Even if I was admitted to Tsinghua University back then, if I played DOTA every day, it would be better to write a novel every day at Hunan Vocational College of Science and Technology.

The wonderful thing about life is that we can make choices one by one, and we can decide our future destiny at every moment, it doesn't matter if you don't know how to choose the previous choice, even if you choose the wrong one, it doesn't matter, the later choices can be corrected. In the case of hepatitis B, I have made many wrong choices in the past, but from now on, I can make the right choices and correct them. Now that this disease has flareed up, it can make me take a good look at some of what I have done, and I can choose the right lifestyle in the future, go to bed before 10 o'clock every day, get up at 6 o'clock every day, go to the park to do tai chi, stand on a pile, and try to improve my immunity.

Hepatitis B is not a terminal disease, it is a kind warning from God, and it reminds me to pay attention to my body and choose the right lifestyle. If I hadn't had this episode, I would have continued to live like before, and I might have cirrhosis or even liver cancer unconsciously, because many advanced liver cancers are asymptomatic, no pain, no discomfort, and I was still alive and kicking a few days ago, and after a few days, I felt unwell, and I went for an examination to find out that it was advanced liver cancer, and I died a few months later. There are too many such examples, take our peers as an example, the Internet writer Ghost Emperor Seven, who died a while ago, reversed day and night, stayed up all night to write, and the result was very good, and he was about to become a god, but he was found out to be in the advanced stage of liver cancer, and he died only a month later, only 33 years old. It was only a month from the onset of symptoms that he was diagnosed with liver cancer to his death, and if he had a seizure like mine did when he had just had a problem and reminded him to adjust his lifestyle, perhaps such serious consequences could have been avoided.

No one can predict what will happen in the future, and there is no way to spoil the book life, but fate will generously give us the opportunity to choose the present, and the choices we make now can roughly determine some of the outlines of the future. Sometimes, my readers often ask me what the plot of the novel is like next, what is the fate of such and such a character, and I never have one answer, and that is that I can't spoil it, because spoilers make the book look boring. And some readers speculate on the future plot based on the foreshadowing they have planted now, and some of the speculations are indeed correct, or even extremely accurate. In the book of life, our role is more complex, we are both readers, full of speculation about the future plot, but we are also the author, writing the plot of the moment.

Today the doctor gave me another Adefuwei, and I already have three on hand. I know that once this little pill is consumed, then the rest of my life will take another path, and this is a major turning point, maybe to the good side, maybe to the bad side. I don't know how many years to use these drugs to fight viruses, I don't know if I can achieve successful discontinuation, I don't know if it's the right way to use this antiviral method. Maybe there is a better way to do it, maybe tomorrow I will be able to come across a foolproof way and find a Chinese medicine prescription with no side effects.

But I can't put it off, I have to make a choice now. There is nothing I can do about this difficult choice, I don't know what to do with the right choice. But I know that I have many more opportunities to choose in the future, and even if this choice is wrong, I can correct it with more options.

At 4 p.m. on June 27, 2014, I ate the first Adefuwei.