Twentieth year

Today is my 20th birthday, finally 20 years old, there is a joy for the rest of my life, five years ago, in a small town night, Dan said to me, you don't live to be 20 years old, and then a 1 yuan yuan was torn in half, as if tearing off a life, and then she solemnly handed over half of it to me, like a witch's ritual, as long as I hold it, I can avoid disaster, I am convinced, I have always remembered this prophecy, from holding hands to breaking up, from high school to college, more than a thousand days and nights have not been able to forget this prophecy, and I have this premonition, I have a clear premonition that I will not live to be 20 years old, maybe 15 years old car accident, 16 years old illness, murdered at the age of 17, poisoned at the age of 18, earthquake at the age of 19, and will die before the age of 20. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

But I'm still alive!

It can be seen that the half of a dollar is indeed effective, better than Brother Xinchun, after all, Brother Xinchun is resurrected in situ after death, and tearing a dollar will not even die, which is better or worse at a glance, and you will have to prepare some change in the future, and every time you go out, you must tear one off, and take half of it with you, and your life will have an extra guarantee.

When I was still indulging in the joy of new life, the phone rang, it was Cheng Yanping's text message, and I received another one two minutes later, this time, I didn't rush to open it, I guessed first, who is it? I guessed a lot of people, but after opening it, I was wrong, this text message was sent by Dan, I have already told her, don't contact if it's not life-threatening, but she still sent it, maybe she wanted to test whether I was still alive, after all, she said that I couldn't live to be 20 years old, so that this matter can be regarded as a life-critical thing, in order to let her know that I was still alive, I replied to her with a text message, and then there was no more text message, and I slept beautifully.

The day dawned, everything recovered, I went to the last English class in college, the English teacher said that there will be no English class next semester, this may be the last English class in my life, it appeared at the moment I left at the age of 19, quite a sacred charm, but I didn't pay attention to it, I have been listening to the English class for a semester, but this last class can not concentrate down, after class, back to the dormitory, walking on the road with my head down, a girl patted me on the shoulder, asked me, are you walking with your head down are not afraid of bumping into others? You can't see anyone else. I said, "It's okay for people to see me."

I'm so lazy that I don't even want to walk around anymore, I'm getting lazier and lazier, and my vitality is losing little by little, so I go back to the dormitory, turn on the computer, and receive blessings from many people, and my phone starts to ring non-stop......

At 8 o'clock in the evening, I invited the brothers in the dormitory to dinner, and under my strict intervention, I didn't drink or smoke, and everyone was very sober and normal when I left. Back at school, walking down my favorite campus boulevard, I pulled out my MP3 and clicked on "Farewell Hour" sung by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli In October 1996, Germany, at the farewell match of boxing champion Henry, Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli performed the song together, that match, which ended with the defeat of the boxing champion, cast a tragic color on the song, the boxing champion left, and I also have to say goodbye in the past 20 years, youth walked in front of me, turned back and waved goodbye to me, this silent moment, no one heard, including myself.

Looking at my own shadow under the street lamp, there is already the silhouette of a man, I am no longer a teenager, but a man over 20 years old, the first number of a person's age takes ten years to change once, ten years, how long is that? It was so long that I had grown from a boy to a man, from 1.37 meters to 1.73 meters, from 35 kilograms to 53 kilograms, until my pimples grew and disappeared, my chin began to grow a beard, and if I didn't shave for a few days, I would look like an old man, I began to contact people and the world, began to socialize, began to drink and smoke, otherwise it was disrespectful to others, I began to pursue girls, I was very timid at first, I didn't dare to confess, and then I became accustomed to it, and I began to have some important people in my life, even if I couldn't forget the people after they left, I gradually began not to go home, I used to go home once a week, Later, from a week to a semester, I spent less and less time with my mother, I gradually stopped being coquettish, I gradually talked back, gradually ignored, my mother called me, and did not give them too many opportunities to speak, a few minutes OK, I became more and more homely, less and less sports, basketball has not been touched for a long time, football has forgotten what it looks like, what is the World Cup, is there a game so fascinating, I no longer listen obediently in class, when I was in junior high school, 40 minutes to listen to lectures, 5 minutes in a daze, now 40 minutes to sleep, 5 minutes in a daze, my grades began to decline, the top of the list became famous, the more English I learned, the more I went back, I was able to pass the fourth level in the third year of junior high school, I didn't pass the exam twice in college, and I had to take the exam for the third time in two days, I still didn't have any certainty, I began to fall, maybe I often deliberately avoided this problem, but in fact, degradation is a consciousness, not an act, in order to reach the age of 20, I sacrificed a lot, got a lot, changed too much, I am no longer me.

In fact, not only me, the whole world has changed, 10 years ago, the Olympic Games just won the bid, I thought that the Olympic Games would come to a long time, long until that time I started to study in college, time flashed, the Olympics have been open for two years, my university is also coming to an end, I used to be crazy like Jay Chou has also become the king of Asia from an inconspicuous newcomer, at that time our school I know Jay Chou alone, 10 years later, no one in our school does not know Jay Chou, so calculated, Jay Chou is also old, even in his 30s, his music has lost the feeling of before, gradually becoming mediocre, although he wants to try his best to changeAfter all, what can be changed is only appearance, can not hide the emptiness of the essence, I gradually stopped being infatuated with him, maybe his music quality has not declined, just changed the style, but I don't like this style, in my eyes, he has become a legend, I can no longer be obsessed.

The whole world is changing all the time, no one can respond to all changes with the same, we are all drifting with the flow, some people drowned, we still struggle, in order to get to the other side, we have to let go of some things, at first give up some friends, then give up some feelings, finally, gradually some people start to give up their dreams......

My dream has been revised many times, at first I dreamed of becoming a scientist, then I listened to Jay Chou's songs, I began to hope to become a star, then I wanted to become a musician, and then a musician became an actor, and the actor is not good after all, so I should become a director, and the director should also have a good script, so I will become a writer first...... My dreams have changed one after another, more often than Edison Chen changing girlfriends, and now, my dreams are very different from the beginning, I just dream of being able to find a good job in the future, to be able to support myself, to support my parents, to support my girlfriend, my dream has been reduced to "bending my waist for five buckets of rice", can this still be regarded as a dream? I am no longer high-spirited, no longer directing, no longer exalting words, the years have smoothed my water chestnut, I gradually become smooth, and the surrounding mountains and mountains of the same stone, no difference, no more personality, I used to think that I was the pride of the sky, born to do a great career, can not be the same as those mediocre people, but now I am the same as others, dreams are like dreams, can only think about it.

A few days ago, I saw that one of our roommates in the dormitory changed his QQ signature - "Now, do you still have dreams?" I stared at this sentence for a long time, he is a person who plays games crazier than me, he goes to the Internet café all day to play until late at night and comes back, sometimes all night, I thought he has been numbed by the game, I didn't expect him to question himself like this, is he also sober? He doesn't want to fall, right?

However, sometimes, we have to give up our dreams, 20 years old, for a man, this is a career period, I have to fight for my career, those unrealistic dreams can no longer be fantasized after all, but I still can't bear to give up on them, I know that I still can't help but think about it, in the dead of night, when the lights are dim, when I am drunk and dreaming of death, when I still have youth, I can still clearly touch my dreams, those fantasies imprisoned in the bubble, the wind blows and drifts away, the wind blows sad, and the wind blows and wakes up。

In the next ten years, when I am 30 years old, I hope that I have achieved success in my career and become the kind of person who stands at the top of the pyramid in this world......

Finally, many friends sent me blessings on this birthday, some in reality, some in the network, some born in 85, some born in 95, some men, some women, some beautiful, some more beautiful, some handsome, and some not as handsome as me, thank you, come one by one, with full names: Cheng Yanping, Zeng Dan, Liao Dingfen, Wang Yan, Wang Jiaoling, Wang Aina, Xia Zan, Peng Ting, Deng Cunjiao, Cai Jiaoling, Tan Yu, Tan Lingzhi, Zhang Xiao, Tan Xuefeng, Zhang Hang, Huang Shuangjian (I wish you a happy birthday tomorrow), Tang Fuzhang, Xiao Wei, little girl, ?ゞ,ィ未ぃsleep,Love crying de tears!,Cheap beggar,Zhu Xiaoyun,Ice blue & peach,BabySally(兲,And my dear sister,Brothers in the dormitory,And some people,I know you said happy birthday to me.,It's just that I didn't have a chance to hear it.,Thank you!

In the twentieth year, with you by my side......

2010-06-17