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Yesterday I was in a good mood, and I wanted to write something to encourage myself, but I finally became lazy again, and I didn't write until I went to bed. Pen Fun Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 infoMaybe this can't be called laziness, I don't know if it's a relationship with interferon, the whole person is like a walking dead in recent times, no mental state, no interest in doing anything, get by all day long, just like having depression, this is a side effect of interferon.

Occasionally, I think about life, as long as the perspective expands to the whole life, then everything now, whether it is frustration or pursuit, is like an inconspicuous small wave in the vast river of time, which is not enough to take to heart. So I was at a loss, because my long life, in the face of the vast universe of time and space, is also insignificant, even if I have a brilliant life, no matter how hard I try, it will eventually end with my death. Everything I did, in the end, didn't make any sense.

It's a dangerous thought, it makes me dead and I don't have the interest to do anything. We all aspire to a state of mind without desires, but this state is meaningless to society, and if everyone sees through the red dust, then this world is no longer a world, but a huge temple. Society is no longer progressing, productive forces are no longer innovating, and human beings are like a pool of stagnant water.

What are people living in this world for? Today, I went to the cinema to watch "The Golden Age", and Xiao Hong and Xiao Jun in it also talked about this issue. Xiao Hong said that the reason why she is alive is because there is still something that is not visible. I can't help but ask myself, what is the meaning of my life? Thinking about it, I found a very vulgar reason -- for the sake of dreams, Wang Feng asked countless questions in the good voice, and I have always scoffed at them, but now I have pondered these two words.

In fact, it is not very accurate to say that dreams, and it is more appropriate to say that it is for desire. Dreams and desires are both aimed at achieving a certain goal, but the essence is different, dreams are "only how and how to achieve this goal", while desire is "as long as this goal is achieved, what can be done." ”

Dreams need to force themselves to keep moving forward, every step is full of pain, and it is comfortable to stop, while desire is the instinctive progress of people, it will be painful when you stop, and it will be comfortable to continue on the road.

In my more than 20 years of life, there may be a few brief moments when I have a dream. In the early years, when I was writing, I would want to write a profound story, a story that I would like to write that I find interesting, which can be regarded as a simple literary dream. But now, all I have left is desire, I write only for money and honor, commercial writing, and this desire is fulfilled one by one, and then a greater desire emerges. Last year, my desire was to be able to exceed my salary for manuscript fees, and to be able to hang up the Yellow V certification on Sina Weibo, so that I could tell others that I was a writer, how tall and tall, and how much I pretended to be forced. Now, my desire has become a signing party, with hundreds of thousands of millions of followers, hundreds of millions of hits on novels, and everyone has heard of my pen name, and there are famous and representative works.

In order to satisfy this vanity of mine, I will keep writing......

Of course, whether it is desire or dream, in the eyes of psychologists, it can be summed up by the same term - self-realization.

When I wrote this, I suddenly found that I was thinking about complicated, what a simple question, people live, maybe just because there are many beautiful things in this world, if you die early, those beautiful things will not be experienced.

In the past few days of the National Day, I saw the crowds of tourists gathered to travel, listening to everyone's feelings about the short period of the holiday, I suddenly felt a little ashamed in my heart, I am engaged in the profession of writing, more time, free, but every day I lock myself at home, violent things.

From today on, I want to change myself, change the face of my life, and no longer live in a pool of stagnant water. I bought goggles, swim caps, swimsuits, and started swimming. Travel more places, buy a plane ticket to fly there wherever you want, see more scenery, and write a diary. When you meet a girl you like, ask her out to watch a movie and eat, don't worry about whether she can see herself, don't be afraid of Bai Fumei, ** Silk and Gao Fushuai, the difference is just a mentality.

When people live, don't ask why, just what else can be done.

Huang Huayi, October 8, 2014