"The chapter 'Pain Remains' has been emphasizing the phrase 'the real feeling of being alive'. Tong Guò two rites and Asakami Fujino two special people to think deeply about this meaning. To reflect the ordinary with the special, then what is the real feeling of our life? For painless patients, it is 'pain', and in "Residual Pain", the protagonist Fujino Asagami is such a painless patient. ”

"When I first started looking at it, there was always a question that puzzled me, why was Asakami Fujino able to tolerate such abuse by that group of people? However, her inner monologue answered my doubts and deeply shocked me......"

I don't feel pain, but why can I feel the hurt in my heart?

After all, what is the heart, is it the heart that hurts, or is it my brain?

The language with the meaning of attacking Asagami Fujino was accepted by the brain, and it was harmed by the attack. Because if you hurt, it hurts. Whether it is a refutation or a defense, or a scolding, it is just a medicine made by the brain to alleviate the wounds suffered.

So even I, who didn't know the pain, could feel the pain caused by the wound in my heart.

But this is an illusion.

It must be an illusion.

Real pain is definitely not something that can be calmed down with words.

The wounds in the heart can be quickly forgotten. So the wound in the heart is insignificant.

But physical wounds, as long as the wounds remain, will continue to hurt.

What a strong, definite proof of survival.

If the heart is the brain, it would be better for my brain to hurt.

Then I will be able to get pain.

As I have been every day so far.

The memory of being humiliated by my peers, even young teenagers, can hurt my words.

…… I remember.

Their laughter, and their horrible expressions.

That is constantly threatened. It is my time to be persecuted and humiliated.

When the man who pressed on me swung his knife. My belly was hot, and the clothes in my belly were torn. Wet with blood again.

Thinking about the time I was stabbed, I was full of aggression.

After dealing with them. I really felt the warmth and pain.

Again, the heart tightened.

Unforgivable, the voice kept repeating in my heart until it was shattered.

“… Woo. ”

The knee bent.

Is that coming again?

The abdomen warms up. The unpleasant feeling of being pinched by a hand that could not see my internal organs.

I feel like throwing up...... I've never felt this way all along.

Lightheaded...... All the while, the loss of consciousness is always sudden.

Wrist paralysis...... All along, it has been the eyes that confirm this situation.

Very, painful.

…… Yes. I'm alive.

The stab wound began to hurt.

Injuries that are supposed to be healed, only the pain will come back suddenly like this.

In the distant past, my mother told me that when the wound was healed, it would no longer hurt. But that's lying. My wound from the stab was healed, but I still feel pain even after it heals.

…… But Mother, I love the pain. Because for me, who doesn't feel alive, there's nothing else that can tell me the fact of being alive.

Because only this residual pain is definitely not an illusion.

Fujino made it clear that for her, who suffers from painlessness, the sense of pain is the real feeling of being alive. I'd rather be humiliated than feel pain. So what is painlessness? It's a hereditary sensory autonomic disorder, and of course, Asakami Fujino is not hereditary. But. The result is the same. There are two types of sensations. Sensations such as touch, pain, and temperature can be experienced. A deep sense of self that reports to oneself, such as physical movements and a sense of position. In general, in the case of sensory paralysis, both occur at the same time. ”

"Some people think that even if they don't feel the body, they still exist, and because the body is moving, they think that they are no different from us except that they don't feel it. However, this is wrong. The so-called lack of feeling is actually nothing that can be obtained. Even if I touch it, I don't feel like it. You can only confirm that you have touched this reality through your vision. It's like reading a book. What's the difference with those fictional stories? ”

"Even if you walk, it's just your body moving. I can't feel the reaction on the ground, I can only recognize that my feet are moving. No, even this kind of understanding is only a thin understanding that can only be believed after visual confirmation. ”

"Didn't feel it. That is, the absence of a body. Wouldn't that be like a ghost? For them. All reality is nothing more than what is perceived. What is the difference between touching it and not being able to touch it!"

"In this way, this is really a helpless disease. He has a physical body, but he has no real sense like a ghost. Just imagining this feeling makes you feel pity for Fujino. She was already so unfortunate that she was still treated like that. So much so that I felt the same as Kurokiri, and I didn't feel much for those who were killed by her. ”

"Looking back at the beginning of "Residual Pain", it was raining on the street, and Fujino was squatting on the corner holding her stomach. Kuroki saw her running over and asked, 'Does your stomach hurt?' and she replied, almost subconsciously, 'No, ......' and tilted her head away. And he asked, 'Is your stomach still hurting?'"

She subconsciously replied, 'No......' and then said slowly, 'Well, very, very painful.' Then he whispered, almost tentatively, 'I'm crying in pain, can I cry?'. When she received an affirmative answer, she was pardoned, and then she bowed her head and cried almost with joy. ”

"It's like a child who is new to something new, curious and excited. She trembled with excitement at this new feeling, but she was at a loss because of the strangeness of this feeling, and she felt that she should need to cry at this time. So she asked, trembling, 'Can I cry?'"

"I think, how long has it been since Fujino Asakami hadn't cried at all before this?"

Because she doesn't feel pain physiologically, and because she wants to cover up the fact that she doesn't feel pain, she always keeps quiet in the face of injury, and over time, her concept of harm is a little blurred, she doesn't know when she can cry, and she doesn't know who she can cry to safely. ”

So when faced with mental injury, Fujino's reaction was to be at a loss. She was hurt in her heart, but she didn't care about it, and she didn't know how to deal with it. In "Residual Pain", Orange said, "Is there a wound that still hurts even though it has healed?" is a hint at some injuries that cannot be seen on the surface, but in reality, it may be all kinds of mental injuries. ”

It was at this time that she was beaten on the back and the pain recovered. Also restored is her superpower to twist things with her magic eye. Almost immediately, she became insanely addicted to pain. When she was in pain, she felt like a normal person, she could say to people: 'It hurts, I hurt' and she kept saying to people almost coquettishly, saying to the world, I can feel the pain, I am a normal person. In fact, she was waiting for her consciousness to say that the pain would follow, some care from others. ”

"I very much sympathize with the girl named Asakami Fujino, who was born as a 'person who is not suitable for the sake of zài', who was constantly excluded and bullied by the outside world, and finally regained her sense of pain and was forced to become a 'murderer', and only at the moment of facing death did she feel her true heart strongly. ”

“…… I want to live more, to talk more, to be able to think, to be able to stay. The true face of what you feel pleasure in. This fact hurt her more than anything else. The meaning of the sins I have committed, the blood I have shed, is now finally understood. The meaning is so profound that it is impossible to even apologize. ”

Actually, she really just wanted to say that. The true heart that has been hidden by his own stubbornness until now...... The dreams that I had when I was young, the wishes that seemed very small to others. ”

Pain.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, I'm about to cry... Can I cry?

Fool, if you feel pain, it's good to say it.

"This story is not long, but I have read it for a long time. Interrupted several times, it's not that the content can't attract me to read it in one go, but that my inner emotions have been mobilized to the limit several times, and I can't stand watching it anymore, and I can't bear to read it anymore. ”

Just like Mr. Huang Shaotian said, although these are just the more common episodes in the theme of the novel, the Great Demon King used his own hands to compose a kind of pain that makes people go deep into the flesh and blood, oppressing the hearts of the audience and readers. ”

"When the physical wound is healed, the pain will no longer be there, but the wound in the heart cannot be healed, so the pain will remain. ”

"I did feel this personal grief. ”

Although he is only the protagonist in "Residual Pain", the character creation of Fujino Asagami is very successful. Especially under He Chen's in-depth training, Asamiko has grown like a rebirth, and the monologue in Fujino's heart, like an echo in the valley, deeply infects every audience who hears it, making her charm to the next level.

In "Residual Pain", although she is a "villain", she is a villain who makes the audience sympathize and accept.

Seeing the two ceremonial hands rise and fall, I don't know how many people sighed regretfully.

When I heard that the two ceremonies did not kill Asakami Fujino, but saved her, I didn't know that there were few people who breathed a sigh of relief. (To be continued)

PS: I wish you all a happy Dragon Boat Festival!