In a blink of an eye, I have been in Hangzhou for two months, next to the Zijingang Campus of Zhejiang University, a while ago I finally got a library card here, you can come in to write and read books, and when you are hungry, you can go to the cafeteria to swipe the card to eat, surrounded by those young students, like returning to the ancient campus life. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

It seems that a few years ago, I was particularly fond of libraries. At that time, I was mainly writing at home, but the environment at home was not suitable for writing, and sitting in front of the computer couldn't help but scroll through Weibo, play games, and waste time. Later, I met a friend by chance in the park, and he said that there was a public library next to the park, and I knew about it for the first time. Later, my friend seemed to have found a job in a distant place and never had contact with him again, but I went to the library often, and from that time on, I spent more time reading books and gradually developed the habit of writing in the library.

The library at Zhejiang University is much larger than the public library I went to when I was in Shanghai, and I can read almost everything. Recently, I have finished reading all of Liu Cixin's novels, and I am watching the world science fiction masterpiece "Dune" series, and I have also revisited "Zhu Xian". "Zhu Xian" is my favorite online novel, which I read in 2007, when I was in high school at Yizhang No. 6 Middle School. The reason why it is unforgettable may be because I was new to online novels at that time, and I felt sad about the breakup of my first love, so I was particularly impressed by this book, and I could often hear Ren Xianqi singing "Zhu Xian Love" at that time, as well as the game of the same name.

At that time, Zhang Hui fell in love with a boy, and that boy was playing Zhuxian. In order to be able to be with that boy, she also went to play Zhuxian, but she didn't know how to play, so she asked me to help. I actually don't like to play Zhuxian, but I'm a very good friend with her, so I helped her play. She registered a new number, teamed up with the boy, and left the matter of leveling up and fighting monsters to me, she just sat and watched, and the boy would send messages from time to time, she would be very happy when she saw it, and racked her brains to think about how to reply to him.

The night is getting deeper and deeper, we just played all night, in the middle of the night she couldn't help but fall asleep sleepy, only I was still helping her play, the boy sent a message, I didn't wake up Zhang Hui, so I figured out her tone and replied by myself. The familiar Qingyunmen, Heyang City, Caomiao Village, and the faint background music in the novel constitute all the memories of that night, and they are also the only memory I have of playing with immortals. The next morning, we came out of the internet café, she treated me to breakfast, and then she went back to her school, and I went back to mine. On the way I was a little sad and remembered my first love, she was at another school further away, I don't know what she was doing, but we had broken up and I couldn't go to her anymore.

I haven't seen Zhang Hui for many years, and I don't know if she is married, so she must have forgotten this past!

The first time I came into contact with the library was when I was in the first year of junior high school in Huangsha Town, and the library was opposite our classroom. We are in the top class, and the classrooms are independent of the hustle and bustle of the school building, in a quiet and tranquil garden, opposite the library. The library is very small, there is no reading function, there is only one window to borrow books, each class will send a list of books, which book you like will be coded on the library card, and queue up to borrow books at that window. The small window was often overcrowded, the classes were crowded, and I was thinly squeezed in the middle, and I had the impression that I had only borrowed a few books, all of which were foreign science fiction stories.

In the first year of junior high school, I still lived in the school apartment, and I didn't go to live alone outside the school, and the school would force a lunch break. I secretly watched the sci-fi story during my lunch break, and Jay Chou's song was playing in the headphones, which was the album of "Octave Space", and there was a sound of a spaceship taking off in "Can't Open My Mouth", which happened to match the sci-fi story, which was particularly feeling. When you're tired of watching, lie down and take a nap, or think about my dog.

How happy and simple I was at that time! I was only at the stage of secret love for my first love, at most I only looked at her from a distance, and I had no emotional troubles. I was a good student who studied hard, and I took the fourth place in my grade in the final exam. It was around that time that I met my best friend in junior high school, Li Tao. At that time, he was in another class, and he was the only student in the whole grade who could be ranked in the top few students who were not in my class, and once when I was eating in the cafeteria, Jianfei pointed to a boy and told me that he was Li Tao. I've remembered him ever since.

Later, when I came downstairs from the apartment, I saw that he was just going upstairs, so I had the courage to call him by name and say hello, and he looked at me very strangely. Later, we ate together in the cafeteria, and gradually became familiar with it. Not long after, he was transferred to our class because of his academic performance, and he sat next to me, and we became best friends. When I was in my second and third years of junior high school, I moved out of school and lived outside on my own, and sometimes they would come to me for a while when they went out. We didn't go home on vacation, we went to the Internet café to play bubble hall together, we didn't go back late at night, we went to eat rice noodles together when we were hungry, and we did a lot of small things together that were rebellious in the eyes of teachers but seem to be insignificant now.

Our biology teacher is a relative of Li Tao, who usually lives in the biology teacher's house, on the top floor of the faculty building. One Sunday, on a sunny afternoon, Li Tao was home alone, and he asked me to come over and do my homework with him. The small table where he did his homework was in front of a window, I sat at that desk, with Jay Chou's song playing in my headphones, looking out the window, the white clouds were floating in the blue sky, the breeze blew into the window, the sun was silently shining on the earth, and I could see the wilderness far away, thinking that summer was getting closer and closer, and Jay Chou was about to release a new song.

The summer holidays of 2004 are fast approaching. I just learned to play QQ, it was Huang Shupeng who taught me, I knew for the first time that I could make strange friends on the Internet, and I wanted to go to QQ every day, but I would only go to an Internet café once in a while. I added some Jay Chou's fans on QQ, my first netizen was called "Gently Looking Back", she sent me a message, but when I just wanted to reply to the message, the computer suddenly froze, and when I restarted, I couldn't find it, and I regretted it for a while.

The most memorable thing is that I once went to the Huangsha Internet café, and happened to meet her whom I had been secretly in love with for a long time, at that time she and Li Tao, Zhang Hui and others went to the English teacher's cram school, but I didn't go, now I think about it, maybe there will be more and good memories when I go! That day she was with Zhang Hui, just bought fruit, asked me if I ate it, I shook my head very reservedly, I didn't dare to look at her. Later, after surfing the Internet, I played bubble hall, but I was absent-minded, always wanted to see which machine she was, and then they came over to me and said they were leaving, I watched their backs disappear at the staircase, and I felt an inexplicable sense of loss. I've had a crush on her for two years, and I still don't dare to say it, maybe I'll never be able to open it!

I rarely go to the Internet café, and most of the time I spend my time at home, writing my summer homework. Sometimes I look through the "Encyclopedia for Middle School Students" and look at the articles in it, and I like a column called "Quasi-Life Notes" the most, which writes about some adolescent confused lives. Sometimes I go to the railing on the second floor to look at the mountains in the distance, or go to the empty room of the eldest sister, standing by the window idly, looking at the shade outside, listening to the chirping of the summer cicadas, thinking about her, my dog will lazily lie at my feet and doze off; sometimes I look at a book called "Love in the Past", which Li Tao bought for me when he passed by Yizhang, it is a small story written based on Jay Chou's songs, and I remember a sad story called "The Last Battle" very clearly. Sometimes they do nothing, lie on the cool tiled floor of their room, listen to the wind outside, and gradually take a nap. I will often turn on the TV, go over each station, and then wait for an ad in the dynamic zone, and the background music of the commercial is Jay Chou's new song "My Territory", and the advertising slogan is "If you want to listen to Jay's new song, please dial 12590707." "Every time I successfully snipe this advertisement, I will be very happy, and on the day the new album of "Seven Miles of Fragrance" was released, I also went to an Internet café to listen to his new song. More often, I listen to Jay Chou's discs, and I especially love "Unparalleled Concert", which is Jay Chou's most classic concert and my favorite concert......

Now that I think about it, that summer is a lot like the lyrics of "The Last Battle" - "I think of the smell of popsicles in the smoke of gunpowder, and those young people who have been doing nothing all summer." ”

That summer, time passed so slowly, I really wanted to go back and see.

……

It's been more than 10 years since I did this, and I've already gone through junior high school, high school, college, and work. I also went to strange cities, from the original Huangsha Town, to Yizhang County, to Changsha, to Shanghai, and now to Hangzhou. I've met countless people along the way, but what I miss the most is that time when I was young more than ten years ago. is like Zhang Xiaofan in Zhu Xian, what he misses the most is only the carefree days on the big bamboo peak of Qingyunmen more than ten years ago.

Many of those people have not seen each other again, but Li Tao happens to be in Hangzhou, and it happens to be at Zhejiang University, but on another campus. Now he's doing his Ph.D. and is studying life sciences. I hope he is still the high-spirited teenager he was back then, and I hope that the years will not leave too many marks on his face.

When I grew up, time always seemed to pass very quickly, and the people around me got married one by one and entered another life, and their concerns were completely different. Both of these months had college roommates getting married, but I didn't attend. Last week, Mr. Wang bought a house with his girlfriend, who is taking a driver's license test and may be commuting to work in a few years. There is also a college classmate who is also in Hangzhou, and now he has bought two houses, and now he often posts photos of his children in the circle of friends.

Their lives are moving forward steadily, but I have been looking back at the past, I have never thought about getting married, buying a house and having children, I don't know when I will get married, I don't have a girlfriend, I don't know where to buy a house, I don't have money to buy a house now, all the money I have earned in the past few years has been used for treatment. In the past few years, I didn't seem to have done anything, made any friends, didn't make any big business, and just wrote a few books.

I don't know when, I'm getting farther and farther away from them, and now I seem to be walking alone in the dark, with no one around me anymore, only the sound of my lonely footsteps. My heart is also becoming more and more numb, it is difficult to meet the girl I like again, and it is difficult to pursue it patiently, and I will not be able to have a crush on a girl for several years like when I was young.

It's rare to be on QQ today, a book friend sent me a photo, that was a photo I took when I watched Jay Chou's "Ferris Lun Concert" three years ago, but I had an "incomparable" sticker on my face, and the sticker was given to me by a girl sitting next to me, I asked for her phone, and I thought about chasing her, but then because she was in another city, it was gone. It didn't take long for her to get married, and a few days ago, I saw her posting photos of her son in the circle of friends. I've missed a lot of girls like this, and every time I want to chase them, I give up for various reasons.

Looking at that photo, I felt so far away, in fact, it was only taken three years ago, but after I got sick, my life suddenly became very distant, like a previous life.

This summer is coming to an end, and the medicine I brought last time is almost finished, and I will go back to Shanghai to see a doctor next week. I don't want to go to the doctor, I don't want to go to the hospital, I just want to stand by the window with nothing to do, look at the shade outside, listen to the summer cicadas, think about her, think about them.

Huang Huayi

August 11, 2016