I was going back to Hangzhou today, but I didn't have the desire to leave, I got up and looked out the window, the community was quiet, everyone went to work, only the sound of cicadas was left. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

I got up and ate breakfast, routinely brewed a cup of Chinese medicine, turned on the computer to check the train ticket to Hangzhou, but accidentally knocked over the medicine cup, and the brown medicine soup was all spilled on the computer table.

This time I went back to Shanghai for a check-up, the situation was not very good, the blood test showed that the virus began to replicate again, and the MRI showed that the cirrhosis of the liver was still there, and the previous two years of interferon treatment were in vain. The doctor changed the treatment plan and asked me to take Chinese medicine and Western medicine together, and it was especially troublesome to soak Chinese medicine, so if I went back to Hangzhou, how could I soak Chinese medicine? It would be very troublesome to bring so much Chinese medicine to Hangzhou! When I arrived in Hangzhou, I had to live alone, and there was no one to cook, so I could only go out to eat, and my life was not as stable as at home. These days, it costs more than 6,000 to run to the hospital, and there is no money on the bank card, and going to Hangzhou must cost more than at home......

Thinking of these kinds of problems, I didn't want to leave, so I simply put on my computer and rode my bicycle to the cinema to watch a movie!

After arriving at the cinema, I took a look at the recently released movies, and only one "Shocking Reversal" had the highest rating, just watch this, but the most recent one was an hour later. I was a little hungry, I went to nearby Saizeriya to eat pasta, I like to eat the spinach spicy noodles here, I haven't been tired of eating for many years, this is the first meal I ate when I first came to Shanghai in 2005, when I was still a healthy teenager, it was also such a peaceful summer, at that time I also had a beloved girl, when Jay Chou's first movie "Initial D" had just been released...... It was the time I miss the most.

While waiting for the meal to be served, I took out a copy of "Shi Tiesheng's Prose Collection" from my backpack and read it. This was borrowed from the library yesterday, and when I was a student, I had a text called "I and the Altar of Earth", and since then I have been interested in Shi Tiesheng's articles, and his articles have a sense of loneliness. After reading a few essays, I suddenly felt a little sad, Shi Tiesheng started writing after his legs were crippled, his mood at that time should be somewhat similar to mine, he was already in a different world with his peers at a young age, and his previous life was completely gone.

Actually, I prefer "Walden", when I went to the hospital on the day I came back from Hangzhou, I finally finished reading "Walden", I have been reading that book for more than a year, and I only read it for dozens of minutes every time I go to the hospital, because I feel heavy when I go to the hospital, and that book can make people forget the troubles of the world. Walden is a book that can really calm people down, make them think about the meaning of life, and no longer fear death. The naturalistic ideas in the book are very similar to the idea that I have been trying to escape the city and live in seclusion in the mountains. I would like to be like Thoreau, to cultivate a small vegetable garden by the lake, to build a little house, to row to the middle of the lake on a quiet summer afternoon, and then lie down in the shade of the canopy, close my eyes and half-sleep, let the wind blow the boat, until I reach the shore, and then open my eyes to see what kind of shore the goddess of fate has led me to...... But I have thought about it for so many years, but I have never had the courage to live such a life, and in the desolate and prosperous urban desert, let the hustle and bustle fill my ears, and let this heart sink into the flashy and depraved urban life.

After eating pasta, I went to the cinema to watch a movie, which was not as good as expected, and there was always an awkward feeling in the Sino-Korean co-production, especially the accents of the lines in it, which made people play instantly. Lee Jung-jae seems to be much older, he still looks young in "Assassination", but here he is showing his old age.

Coming out of the cinema, the sun is very hot until noon, making people drowsy. After thinking about it, I decided to go to the library and write a novel. Riding a bicycle and walking on the road, next to the office buildings, the white-collar workers in it are busy at work, I seem to be a person who is out of touch with society, I don't know if the society is far away from me, or I am actively away from society. After a bit of riding, I turned into one of my favorite boulevards, lined with tall camphor trees, lush foliage blocking the sun and a pleasant breeze. I suddenly remembered that two years ago, when I was not sick, there was a girl who sat on the back of my bicycle, put her arms around my waist and walked through this boulevard, going to the cinema to watch a movie, her face was pressed against my back, her long hair fluttering back, as if she had returned to her student days, and now I was the only one left.

There is a park next to the boulevard, which is full of greenery, and there is a café inside, and some tables are set under the shade outside, but there are no customers, it is empty. I was a little tired from riding, so I simply parked here, went to the café, ordered an iced latte, sat in front of the glass window, turned on the computer and wrote this diary.

Outside the window, the sun is still singing, the park is very quiet, there is no one, I drank coffee and looked out the window in a daze, still didn't think about whether to go to Hangzhou, or didn't think about my future.

Huang Huayi

2016.7.18