The old letter Jiangnan burned by the wind is pitiful

Note: After another 40 days, during this period, I was from the period of "learning from the sea and leaving the sea, and people did not like it". It's like a woman in confinement, and there are too many inconveniences to say to people. Even after forty days, I am still not in a normal state, my emotions are unbearable, and the more rational I am, the more chaotic I become, and it is a day when I cannot live with common sense. Here's a diary entry from that day:

June 25, 1987 Jiangnan Township, Jianyang City

On the train, two old men: "I can't tell you what is going on now." "How can there be anything that can't be explained?" The weather is very cold, the latter borrows an overcoat to the former, and the former burns a hole with a cigarette butt as a memory, and holds it as already there. When asked, the official said, "I can't tell you." "If the official burns another hole, and the cloud is already there, then what?

There is a popular saying here in Jiangnan Township, "You can't eat poorly, you can't wear poor, and the poor are lazy insects." "There is no cinema, no cultural station, a very small middle school, a very old reading stall, so the folk customs here are simple and lovely, and it is sad.

Jiangnan is pitiful! I can't write a letter in four or five days, and that's it! I have no home in my heart, so let the wind blow to the seaside. "The one who is gloomy ** is the only one. ”

: I am writing to you as a loser, and from the moment I knew that you had no intention of contacting me, I was determined to give you this letter.

More than two years ago, I found myself in a strange illness, abstaining from violent anger, ecstasy, and overexcitement, that is, married lovers.

Maybe that's when I got weirder.

Now, I'm a complete failure, failing in school, failing in making friends, falling in love, if there is such a relationship, failing, self-medie, of course.

I really don't know how to be grateful for my fate to let me know you in the best possible time, really, I am so grateful. Friends like you (friends, I always think so) are lucky enough to see each other once in their lives, not to mention that we have made friends, studied together, dined together, waited for each other, and avoided each other and complained about each other. I cherished both of us a little later, and this is what I will cherish forever.

I forgive fate for the toss I have given me, and I fully forgive my friends' misunderstandings, suspicions, and spurning. I can also understand the sincere rebuke of your letter of October 10 last year.

It's just that if I have also done you great harm, I ask you to forgive me. Please believe that I was unintentional or unavoidable. I'm already comforting myself with this: "****** forgive me!

............ [It's a little long, and it's about her 'strange' and the story of that He Ying. 】

I don't know how much more of a joke fate will play to destroy a weak trust. That night, the 'old way' followed us and stumbled over [more than ten miles of mountain paths] What Ying's family, told her about her enrollment [I have made it impossible for me to be able, and I have already told the deputy mayor at the time and the principal of Qing]. When I rushed back overnight, the 'old style' couldn't walk anymore, and the [strongest] me secretly vomited blood a few times, and it was at this time that the 'gentleman' sang "The Beauty of the Prairie Night".

Thinking of the "what is the purpose" of this rush that no one understands, thinking that the beautiful comfort can only be seen in singing dreams, and that the clown who wants to be "good people" [a lame man / a thin man who is bedridden / a fool with internal bleeding] is so far away, [thinking of her beautiful big eyes that are almost desperate and gray finally glowing with three words to me: "You win!" I burst into tears.

Now, that young woman has never heard of anyone loving her except for kneeling in her old form. Mei had been so close to her, but she immediately floated away. Now, there is no one who can help her, and no one can help her. Our relationship with her is not at all that of giving and being giving. When we do that, we don't shine our own qualities, nor do we help her happiness.

How many unfortunate people are there for all living beings, and how can I be alone without real love but bizarre and out of love? "I love you" is not yet pregnant but stillborn [these 40 days, I am like a woman who has been transformed into a woman because of the miscarriage of these three words]******;

I don't know how much fate has played a joke on you, making you look down on you, and making us toiling ghosts worship God.

It is not difficult to look down on a qiē, (for example, when the love is first opened, it is decided that he does not have me in his heart at all - there are too many such stories) In fact, the facts themselves are often not like this, and there are often many things that helplessly make people's hearts hurt. Love is hopeless, sad and lonely, the difficult thing is that no matter what kind of blow you receive, you can always unswervingly face life, which is the right belief and never back down. Firm its roots, hold its roots, be upright, and stand up against the wind.

Because of me and my gang, you must have a lot of emotion about life. Now, when the fate of my lifelong loneliness is confirmed, I will also tell you a little secret of the past: I know that there are three people who love you, one of them is old, and now there is a good light, and the other is the king - three clowns!

Haha, fate is really perverse, often unexpected, making people cry and laugh [a strange woman like a celestial man, who is the person who is stained, the most difficult to find is the emotionally after-the-fact realization of the 'dead' to the best me] And now this king is useless, these words are simply unspeakable, and he finally said it when he was discouraged, so unhappy (such as vomiting blood for a long time).

At that time, I not only fantasized about walking with you in the sun, but also dreamed of living with you in Xin*Xinjiang for a year, to see the customs of the northern country together, and to verify whether the stars are a fake of the sun or a luminous cup or a teardrop of the sky!

- Everyone inevitably has a lot of unrealistic dreams. Now, although I still do not believe in the power of misunderstanding, I am convinced by the obscenity of fate.

Your silence has been told to me that it is all over, and my illness has declared bankrupt my old dreams, and I cannot express what I mean to you, and I cannot even plan to be a matchmaker with Lianghui for you as I did in the old days, and even ask you for a photograph too much—then, do I beg you, before I am a hundred years old, to tell me your grave, and let me go to your grave in the underworld or the yang world.

Now they are all strangers, and there is no reason to see each other. I have only one wish for you, best wishes!

Please forgive me for my incoherent words and nonsense, and for me writing letters in bed, and the words are terrible. However, I must remember (forever) that there was a strange woman named ****** in Jianyang, a person with tenacious vitality and a good friend who loved life.

Again, good luck!

Member of Group 4 of Xin'an Village, Yueping

There is no sunset to bleed the sky, faintly weeping

1987.6/25.Dusk.Yu Jiangnan

Another: I don't mean to blame the old way, [no matter what he did, what he said, what he wrote, the water plus the insect is a 'turbidity' word, as long as you clean it yourself, the turbidity won't be too long] I really admire him, especially he dares to love what he loves. He and I have always been friends, because 'if you ever think someone is your friend, that person will always be!' I believe that a friend doesn't die because a relationship ends between a man and a woman.

I will love life as hard as I can, and only then can I live longer.

When he proved that "there is nothing unworthy of love", he forgot to tell him about the taboos of love: it is difficult to love people who respect each other, it is difficult to love people who make a bad impression on each other, and it is difficult to love people whose self-esteem is stronger than that of a lifetime of happiness. He and my other new friend, Wang Ping, are my patients, and when he goes to see you, please tell me about this.

Besides, I believe that her misfortune is not easy to eat, and many people are unwilling to be sympathized and talked about by others.

I wish you to live well, for if one dies, others will die.

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