In the blink of an eye, another year is about to pass, and in this year, I rarely meditate and practice as before, and I have experienced a lot of things in the past year, and I have done one thing after another to hurt my spirit, and suddenly I feel as if I am a lot older after being tired. After a year of tossing, the body that had been cultivated hard before was often tired and sleepy, and the burden of the heart knot also entangled most of the spirit, always remembering the previous days when I was tired, although I didn't understand anything before, but the strong heart was not afraid of anything.

Look at yourself now, often smile bitterly, a little helpless, but also a little relieved, the former crystal full skin is now a little dull and rough, the clear luster disappears, the smooth skin begins to appear textured, deep and continuous breath occasionally with wind, and then look at the muscles and muscles, although it does not lose the original strength, but there is no such peaceful qi, the pure mind is often polluted, occasionally fear, uneasiness, and even trouble.

I also have knots in my heart, I also have puzzles that I can't solve, and there are times when I can't do anything, and in my eyes, there are people who are better than me, and I have compared the people I know, and there are almost no worse than me. I also have low self-esteem, I always feel that I am worthless, I have been comparing for a long time, and I have found that this is the case, I am not even worthy of foiling others, useless, nothing can be accomplished, these two words are with me, and I am used to it.

I found that I was really useless, and I didn't know how to express what I wanted to say, and I found that I was still as stupid as before, sometimes stupid, stupid and naïve, I would also be smart, and I would be self-righteous, because I was stupid, so I didn't find that I was self-righteous, and insisted on doing things in my self-righteousness, isn't that stupid, and many times I think that what I did was right, and I should do it.

In my life, it seems to be a joke, a fantasy of my youth, until now it has been immortal, sometimes I want to find the answer, sometimes I don't want to touch, I don't even want to think about it, I don't know if I can solve it, between willing and unwilling, I want to resign myself to fate, I don't want to go one more step, but fate will always urge people to do it, and I can't tell whether it's my own decision or destiny.

Everyone has their own destiny, but I can't tell the difference, I can't tell the decision in the dark, so I want to go back, go back to before the departure, when I was a teenager unrestrained, free and easy, and now, but now, I am sleepy and exhausted every day, if my spirit is like a lamp, I am like a wind in the wind, swaying but always can not be annihilated.

Now, I can't tell whether I'm right or not, so I don't want to talk about it, I don't want anyone to be hurt because of me, I don't want to help people righteously, so I don't have any requirements for anyone, if I'm wrong, let me bear the consequences, if I'm right, I don't know what to say, in this world, how many people can tell whether it's a blessing or a curse......

Many times I would rather be wrong, so that the right person will seem many, many, many things, can only be borne and borne by one person, just like the truth of this world, you can only see and think by yourself, and like your own heart, you can't know it, only you know best.

Many people ask me, what is the ultimate goal of cultivation? What is enlightenment? Even what is reincarnation? Some people also ask about past lives and future lives, and even some people ask about blessings and misfortunes, and so on,

When I am very tired, I often laugh happily, thinking that if I sleep forever, what else can I ask? If I live frankly and live frankly, then death should also be frank and open, so what is there to be afraid of? Many people are forced by their livelihood to do things that violate their conscience, and if they find something more precious than life, maybe they will not be afraid.

I didn't think about this when I was a child, I didn't have to think about it, I just didn't want to do bad things, I didn't want to go against my conscience, although I didn't know what death was, I would rather lose my life than lose my principles.

At that time, it was the boyhood, the blood was strong, carefree, unrestrained, from the extroverted character of childhood, the youth was gradually introverted, the youth was already free and uninhibited, there was no introversion and extroversion, or maybe it was the growth of life, the heart was unswerving, the outer heart was free, I was very happy to be able to rest with the heaven and earth at that time, and I was as free as a fish in the sea.

I thought that my life would pass like this, I didn't have to be concerned, I didn't have to pay attention to others, maybe it was God's blessing, maybe it was a trick, after contacting the cultivation, that kind of freedom was even more incisive, and that kind of freedom was even more refreshing, although there was no legendary supernatural power, but it was more like a dream than having supernatural powers, so I was intoxicated with a new life.

I thought that I could use my own practice to do things that would benefit others, but it was not satisfactory, I didn't care about other people's praise or disapproval of me, I only cared about whether what I did was useful or not. At first, I thought that I was not good enough to help people thoroughly, so I worked harder to cultivate, and gradually, when I was able to answer thoroughly, I realized that maybe no one needed my help, maybe they just needed an audience or spiritual sustenance to pass the time.

Since then, I have rarely answered any more questions, and I have traveled on foot, day and night, after all, I am still young, and what is life for the sake of the truth in my heart. Later, I traveled twice, each time for several months, and saw different people, things, things, reason, qi, and appearances in different regions, and at that time the cultivation body was still very good, but the heart was not happy, because there was something I wanted to do, so I moved my mind, and I worried too much, but I couldn't do it.

Later, I stopped contacting more people, and gradually became indifferent to that kind of life, and I inspired a little of the spirit that I had nurtured, which dissipated again and again, and I just wanted to help others as much as possible before completely breaking the relationship. I drew an end to my previous fate little by little, little by little, and gradually I also drew an end for myself, I don't know how many years of accumulated emotions, I condensed them into a seed and buried it in my heart......

I no longer have extravagant hopes, and I no longer have expectations, in this society, I can't do anything meaningful, not even as a cleaner, or not as good as the beggar on the side of the road, in my opinion, I am a bit like a displaced child, it seems that heaven and earth are home, but in fact I can't take care of myself, I still have a lot of criticism, how can I heal others?

It seems that I take myself too seriously, incompetent person, I don't want to be a burden to others, this year, my body has deteriorated, and I just take a little rest to consume my spirit, I seem to like this kind of mental consumption days, although tired, but, I seem to have found my own answer, and I have made a conclusion for myself.

As far as I know, there should be a lot of things to do in this world, but I have no chance to do it, ridiculous, ridiculous, I can't do what I can do, I can't do what I want to do, I can only watch all this like a passerby, I have been unwilling, I have tried, and in the end I can only admit it all weakly, from helplessness to acceptance, I decided to turn back.

Some people may think that beggars are people who don't care about one more or less in the world, maybe some people think that wanderers are superfluous people, and some people think that people who are lazy and lazy don't care how many people, but I know the reason and fate of their existence, and I also know the reasons and consequences of the flow of this world, so in the end I found that I was a superfluous one.

I am like the dew in the forest, blown to the sky by the morning wind, turned into clouds, dyed the dust of the world, turned into rain, fell to the earth, a little dust let me come to the world, I thought I was free and found that I could no longer leave the earth, contaminated with more dust, sometimes I can't tell whether I am clear or turbid, and even sometimes I think that the muddy water is myself, the light of the day refined my body, between the disappearance and transpiration, I found that I am not the soil, it is so light, but the wind still came, and blew me into the clouds, confused, I forgot myself, fell into a long sleep。

The wind rolled up the dust again and again, and the dew in the clouds turned into raindrops, still so crystalline, but I forgot where I came from and where I went, some people said that we came from the clouds, some people said that we came from the sea, and I also forgot whether I believed or who I believed, and I was born again and again, and died again and again, maybe I got used to it, and gradually began to wake up, maybe I slept enough, and it was time to wake up from a dream, because there was something else that told me, telling us where we came from, where we went, and the cause of our birth. I don't know whether to believe it or not, but I seem to remember the silence of the forest at the beginning.

Of course, I envy my own cleanliness before, but when I think that the soil is not me, the water is me, although there is no cleanliness now, but at least I already know where to come from and where to go, I am very relieved and relaxed, but the precipitation of the soil makes me very tired, and I squeeze out a trace of spirit to support, again and again, again and again, when I can no longer hold on, I know that I will leave the soil, leave the soil......

Where will I go without the soil? Will I return to the original forest branches, or will I go to the clouds to sleep comfortably? Smile and don't give an answer, and then it may be clear that there are too many questions in the world, and I can answer very little, so I will briefly say a few answers.

For example, some people always ask what emotions are, and emotions are only a part of karma, and everything in the world, whether tangible or invisible, even time and space, is born from all the feelings of sentient beings, such as feelings, hearts, minds, thoughts, and so on.

These are all formless and inconceivable, and the mind should be in line with the heart of heaven, and then it can be perceived, so the Dan family has said that the innate qi comes from nothingness, that is, the heart of the human heart is in harmony with the heart of heaven before returning to the realm before entering the womb, that is, there is a heart and no heart in the "Treatise on the Land of Yogis". These two realms are profoundly profound, and there are no advantages or inferiors, and for example, if you don't have a true cultivator, you can't be so attentive, you can't prove this, and many realms can't be present.

For example, in the eyes of everyone, the color of all things is all kinds of karma, such as the human body, tall, short, fat and thin, relying on the karma of the past life and the current comparison, as large as the world, mountains, rivers, grass and trees, material, If all kinds of karma are compared to sand, the karma of one thing is like a stone gathered by a thousand sands, the karma of thousands of things is like Kunlun Mountain, the karma of tens of millions of people and tens of millions of things is like sand gathering on the earth, hundreds of millions of sentient beings, hundreds of millions of things, hundreds of millions of thoughts, hundreds of millions of births and deaths, billions of time and space, if this is compared, hundreds of billions of galaxies will be turned into sand, less than the karmic fate of all beings in the realm of the earth for a hundred years.

All karma is formless and formless, from the void and the shape of the fate, all kinds of colors, sounds, fragrances, tastes, touches, and even thoughts, all of them are karmic phases, so the Buddha said that one leaf and one Bodhi, with one sand can observe the immeasurable karmic changes in the world, regardless of the birth of the world, the destruction of the world, the flow of karma in the natural karma, that is, all kinds of appearances due to the Tao, seeing all kinds of Tao, seeing all kinds of Tao, all kinds of appearance, is the way of not giving up one, not giving up ten thousand, not giving up more, not giving up less.

For example, those who see the Tao are also seen in karma, and all kinds of karma are circulating, whether they are good or evil, whether they are pure or turbid, how many points of good and evil, how many degrees of pure turbidity, all kinds of weights, so they do not say what it is, because there is nothing in the first place, the Tao is no Tao, karma is no karma, the original heart is no heart, but the magic changes, wonderful, incredible, to say the true meaning by name, the clear one sees the truth, and the unknown one sees the non-true, so the farther the world flows, the more entanglements there will be, the deeper the entanglement of karma, and the karma will affect thousands of eons between the hearts and mindsIf there is no great blessing, who can carry the way?

If I can't remember my past life, then I will be another person or another life in the next life, and anyway, if I can't remember my previous life, then it doesn't matter if I will be a pig or a dog in the next life.

Such a topic, if you let the authentic immortal family hear it, I don't know if it will kick you half to death, I just laughed, I have heard too many words like this since I was a child, it is like a penniless person going to eat a bully meal: I fill my stomach first, and it doesn't matter if I want to kill or chop later.

If you meet a good boss, you will be scolded at most, and what will happen if you encounter the evil forces? At that time, you can only live rather than die, and I am afraid that you dare not imagine that you cannot live without seeking death, and if you are really fried and steamed, can you really not beg for mercy? Can you accept it calmly without complaining? I don't have to think about it, the person who said that must not be able to repay this debt calmly.

Of course, there is one karma in the world, if there is no equal amount of suffering, that person owes you, and you will have fate to ask for the account in the future, and if he cuts you one more, you will have the fate to repay him in the future, and if you pay one more knife, you will owe another knife, and the other party will also have fate to ask you for a knife in the future.

Originally, the repayment of karmic debts was like this, but if the person who ate for nothing ate in vain did not care about his life at the beginning, even if others wanted his life, it would be his blessing was insufficient. At this time, if the other party kills you, the other party owes you, even if you leave a breath, that person does not owe you, because you don't care enough for yourself.

There is also a situation where someone thinks they are tall and eats for nothing, as long as what the other party does to you is within the range that the public can bear, then you should also suffer, this is the karmic standard of the world, not set by anyone, but caused by sentient beings throughout the ages. There are no specific rules for karma in the world, so the fools in the world cannot measure it, more or less, light or heavy, and there are many mistakes, and everyone is weak in virtue and resentment, so the bad karma in the world increases, and the wrongs are retribution, and it is difficult to have a period.

In this way, all living beings think like this and form habits, so in the life and death of all living beings in this world, the habits in their hearts have been passed down for a long time, so this world has existed for a long time, no matter how dilapidated it is, but it stands firmly in space. There are too many sentient beings who hold on, you care about me, I miss you, the world is pure if there are many good thoughts, and the world is turbid if there are many evil thoughts, good and evil are intertwined, and they can live patiently, although the future generations cannot remember what they did in the previous life, but the habits of the later generations will be passed on, and the debts owed are endless, and few people are willing to let go, but there are many people who claim to pay.

I have seen countless people who hope that their children are better than themselves, and I have also seen countless people who are humble but want their children to be honored, but there are many such people who do not care about their future, but do not want to make their future more promising, and after the youth they no longer work hard, and when they reach old age, they are bent on dying and no longer make arrangements for the future.

In ancient times, everyone was good at life and good death, in the Middle Ages, everyone died as if they were life, and in later times, everyone died and became good, but today, when they are dying, they do not seek goodness and have no mercy in their hearts, so what remaining blessings are left to their children and grandchildren? Since ancient times, the blessed father has passed away, but everyone will still treat his children and grandchildren in the face of his father, and modern people do not cultivate good fortune themselves, and mention their ancestors everywhere to save face, and do not give their ancestors a long face at all.

Now it seems that the blessing of the ancestors has come to an end, in the past, everyone would be in awe when they mentioned 'I am a descendant of Yan Huang', but now everyone mentions Yan Huang and how much respect? In physiognomy, it is said that there are three generations of good mounds and remnants, and they are no more than 500 years old. Yan Huang has been nearly 5,000 years now, Yan Huang's blood seems to be faint and turbid, karma is flowing, and the understanding of Yan Huang in the hearts of the Chinese people seems to be indifferent.

Today's Taoism originated at that time, if the people at that time were indifferent, then the law that circulated for them would be like a stranger, so modern people have abandoned countless ancestral rules, although some should be abolished, but there are also righteous principles that have been affected, such as the umbrella shaft, which cannot be easily moved but has been changed intentionally or unintentionally, I am only glad that this umbrella shaft has not been completely destroyed.

In the past, the Chinese people used Yan Huang to pull face, but how many people came to give Yan Huang a long face? There are even many later generations of Taoist scholars who pull out their ancestors to grow face in their speeches, and how many people want to give your ancestors a long face? If it weren't for your grandfather's generosity, your face would have been broken hundreds of times!

If we take a long-term view, why don't the living people have a good future for themselves? If there are people who do not accumulate future blessings for themselves, I don't believe that such people can think about their children and grandchildren, and I don't believe that such people can love their relatives and friends, and still less do they believe that such people can respect sentient beings.

Some people also asked, what kind of cultivation methods are there to do, and what is considered to be accomplished? Among them, those who seek supernatural powers have been excluded, because these people are still bound by wealth, fame, and fortune between life and death, so they will definitely not come true. To be honest, I have not experienced any wealth, fame and fortune, I am only interested in truths that are more important than life, and my fate has been bumpy, and I am afraid that I will miss the moment of knowing the truth when I am distracted by wealth, fame and fortune, so I don't care about wealth, fame and fortune, and when I get used to this kind of life, I don't care about that.

Of course, there are many people who regard wealth, fame and fortune as more important than life, I have no way to do this kind of person, I just hope that such a person will be a thief and a person, as long as a person still talks about principles, then he can still be saved, if he loses his principles, he is either liberated, or hopeless.

Up to now, my body and spirit have been exhausted, a lot of things I want to do can no longer be done, a lot of what I can do has no intention of doing, I deliberately let myself be tired, deliberately to consume the spirit, during this period, keep to realize, I also have my own temper, I will also be willful, I want to leave everything to the sky to decide, the sky is not blocked, I will not stop, when the sky let me stop, I will rest, as for what to do, as long as it does not violate the will of God, it is not left to me.

Many people envy my freedom, and I often smile on my face, I don't make fake expressions, what is in my heart, what is in my body, my heart is uncomfortable, my body is uncomfortable, my body is uncomfortable, but I can be happy in my heart. Sometimes I also like the feeling of my body and mind, if I let go of everything, I think I will still be the free and uninhibited teenager, walking on the road of one person, passing by thousands of people.

I don't want to drag my weakened body to bother others, from now on, I will also start to cultivate well, people who are willing to cultivate the truth, should do things with sincerity, to face anything, people who practice, don't take the exercises too seriously, no matter what the exercises, the heart of treating people and things is the most fundamental.

Looking back on the past, I face everything with sincerity, no matter how others are, I face it sincerely, when I was sixteen years old, I saw that my heart was full of holes, pain like a knife, until it entered the heart and spleen, and the temperament was reborn before it was intact, at that time the heart was translucent, like the feeling when the sky was clear and the moon was full, I liked it very much, I liked it very much.

I don't know when, I have forgotten what the heart looks like, I can no longer see a feeling, what the heart is like, I really forgot, I can't see my own heart, just like I can't see others, but all kinds of things in my heart are in front of me, just like all kinds of things in the hearts of everyone in front of me, this is what the heart looks like, the heart is heartless, although the heart is good, there is still something to rely on, broken emptiness, no heart to rely on, peace is the heart.

From before to now, I have been like this, I have been stupid, I have been obsessed, I have been crazy, I have been crazy, I have been arrogant, I have been manic, I have loved, I have hated, I have cried, I have laughed, I have moved, I have used love, I have broken my heart, I have lost my love, I have been proud, I have changed, I have looked back, I have loved, I have forgotten, I have mixed feelings, I don't know how to say, should I ask: How am I?

I'm afraid it's not that good, I've hurt people, I've hurt other people's bodies, that bloody scene is still fresh today, it has hurt people's hearts, and the feeling that hurts into the bone marrow is called resentment, hatred, and I can't count how many people and how many sentient beings are resentful, and the pain that often suffers makes me remember that I have hurt people, so that I can't feel at ease.

Later, I endured it in silence with peace of mind, gave up resistance, and tasted the pain alive, and after the mental wear and tear, that feeling increased, penetrated from the body to the bottom of the heart, and I had many ways to eliminate these pains, but I didn't use them. I hate it so much, I hate myself for being too ignorant, even if life is worse than death, I am willing to bear it, until now, maybe I am used to suffering, maybe it is bitter and sweet, the pain is getting less and less, and there are fewer and fewer things I can motivate my heart to.

Repentance, I often do it in the bottom of my heart, maybe it is serious to change, maybe it is the protection of God, maybe it is the forgiveness of all sentient beings, the mind and body are very stable, although the spirit is lost, but it does not hurt the fundamentals, many people have to ask why. Because the mind, spirit, spirit, and body, these four are all condensed and independent, even if I am in the last moment of mental sobriety, the heart is still clear about myself, even if the body is broken, the heart can still recognize itself.

Up to now, I can only protect myself, I can't help people, and I don't know how to help, most of the people in the world are material problems, I can't solve them, and I have my own sustenance spiritually, and I don't need to think about it, it's better to cultivate myself with peace of mind, don't ask to help others, just don't drag people down.

After writing these, I recovered a little spirit, and I can't help but say a few more words, people who practice and do things with their hearts are practice, physical kung fu is easy to come, and mental and mental kung fu is the most rare to come to, that is to get forever, as for the types and ways of cultivating the truth, cultivating immortals and cultivating the Tao are two different things, those who have attained the Tao may not become immortals, and those who have become immortals may not have attained the Tao, just like those who have realized the Great Bodhi may not be able to realize the Great Bodhi, and those who have attained the fruit may not be able to realize the Great Bodhi, and there are many kinds of realms, lines, and fruits of cultivation, and those who are not clear should not be superstitious.

There are ridiculous things in the travels, and here I will briefly mention that some people have only cultivated for twenty or thirty years in this life and think that they are very tall, and they can not cultivate their fate but not be able to cultivate Er'er, and they still can't achieve the right results and correct the Dharma after many lifetimes, so it can be seen how hard they are attentive, but this kind of person likes to be praised by others, and they are happy in their hearts when they praise a sentence, and they have gone to heaven with a few more tails, have they forgotten the word "pampered and shocked"?

There are also many people who are fascinated by illusions, who think that they are people who descend from heaven to the world, who think that they remember the identity of their fateful past lives, these people are all fascinated by illusions, and there are even many people who are similar in karma, and they are the same as what they see in the illusion, these people are even more fascinated by illusions, some people are self-cultivation into illusions, some people are based on cultivation into illusions, and some people are drawn into illusions, or self-recruitment, or debt repayment, or delusions, after all, they cannot be true.

Again, cultivating immortals and cultivating the Tao are two different things, not too conflicting two things, becoming an immortal just becomes a certain kind of person, but attaining the Tao is to prove the true truth, a superb identity and supreme wisdom, is incomparable, for example, one is the emperor's seat, the other is the emperor's achievement, the ordinary monk first asks for a seat, and then goes to be the emperor, the wise monk directly takes the true meaning, not fake the remnants, the practice of the Bodhi Tao is also like this, so you have a certificate, there is a realm, you can't be self-righteous, self-righteous, and you will leave the true meaning.

Although I say this to others, I don't have these concepts in my own heart, I don't seek immortality, I don't seek to be superior to others, I don't cultivate anything, I don't achieve anything, and I don't have anything to boast of. I have no identity, status, ideals, pursuits, and often don't even want to eat one meal a day, perhaps the only thing I like is to be able to bask in the sun in the quiet afternoon and take a walk, and at night sleep in a room without turbidity.

Speaking of the air now, I often smell uncomfortable turbidity, often make my stomach hurt, sometimes I have to sleep in the turbidity room, and I wake up all over the body, I often stay up until I am tired before sleeping, and part of the reason is that there is turbidity everywhere, and I can't sleep if I am not sleepy, after all, I am just a mortal man with industrious limbs.

Today's office workers, if they want to cultivate the truth, read more books from the pre-Qin period, study themselves as students in their teens, and learn more about the ancients' behavior to get close to nature, otherwise even if you stand between heaven and earth, you will not be able to feel the spirit of heaven and earth. People with high status should learn to be humble and not develop a proud personality, which is the beginning of corruption, and people with low status should face up to the cherishing of life, and their lives are as precious as the lives of others.

Young people should subdue their madness, be more patient, be more tolerant, and be more tolerant, regardless of others, first of all you must guard your own righteousness, young people, you are the treasure of every age, and there will be countless people who will love you, but you must also cherish yourself. Older people should eliminate their own arrogance, not think that their life's experience is necessarily the truth, but should be kind to the wrong young people and show them the way in the right way.

Men should be brave and strong, but don't be reckless and self-serving, please show your own courage to face the trials of life, down-to-earth and head to the sky, open-minded, brave and benevolent, the tribulations of the husband are always many, but after it is always a good memory. Women should be flexible and forbearing, use maternal kindness to care for what they can love, don't give birth to too much resentment, let alone hate, don't become a bitter face, a gentle smile is the most beautiful face.

Tell everyone that they should be optimistic and benevolent, so that they will not come in vain; no one should say how many grievances they have suffered, in the confused world, grievances are inevitable, and I only hope that people with hearts can be magnanimous and suffer some grievances. Heaven is just, even if you suffer without cause, there will be unwarranted blessings, the will of heaven in the underworld, will complement everything to perfection, just as the objects in space are perfectly round, that is the character of space, everything will be treated equally, so even if you walk boldly, no one will be owed forever.

Recorded on November 14, 2016, this one took three days to write, so it is a bit long, I may not be there for a short period of time, leaving a message, the right to parting words, to friends, cherish yourself.