I told Xia about my childhood, I lay on the sofa, thought for a long time, I don't know where to start, my childhood is no story, I have always lived a very good life, happy primary school, what do you want, rebellious period, my parents tolerate me infinitely, and I, I have not done anything stormy, high school happy three years, and then go to college, has always been very good, hard work, work after graduation, rich work experience met nobles, invested in the studio, has been diligent until now.

I recounted my uneventful life, which ended in a few words, and Xia asked, "Has it always been like this?"

"Pretty much. ”

"Have you never been short of money?"

"Nope. ”

"Then why are you still alone, not getting married and having children? ”

"Is there any connection between this? It's very comfortable to live alone, and you don't have to worry about anything. ”

"But a person like you should have a beautiful girlfriend, so that life will be complete. ”

"I don't have any regrets. ”

"You must regret it. Xia said categorically.

"Not really. ”

"Then if you don't have any regrets, why do you have to go out to find Miss. Natsu stared at me with a see-through look and questioned me quickly.

These are two things, whether there are regrets and going out on a date, two things that have nothing to do with each other, but we talked about one thing, that day, I was so depressed at the age of thirty that I didn't have the heart to distinguish the difference between these two things, and I closed my eyes and thought about my ten years.

I don't deny that in the past ten years, I have worked very hard, and I have a career that does not belong to this age, but I am also very boring, I rarely have contact with others, let alone friends of the opposite sex, many years ago, someone took me into a new world, people in that world, do not need to be responsible for anyone or anything, met three minutes ago, became a personal friend in one second, do not need to pay any feelings, and after a night they are strangers, they look the same, I was a person who wanted to get married before I was thirty years old, but someone solved my needs. I like to be lonely after being alone for a long time, and I have adapted to this life.

The people who came to me, the people I found, were all strangers, even if they had skin to skin, they were also people whose hearts couldn't stick together, Xia's words, once again magnified my instability, I closed my eyes, tried to recall, recalled the girls who appeared in my life, they had no face, no body, only a female silhouette, walking towards me, I shook my head, looking at the scene of me squatting on the side of the bed and hugging myself every time they left, this feeling is the same as my mood in the past few months, they are all declining, depressed, depressed, each atrium lives in a different mourning, they communicate with each other, merge with each other, and make me collapseIs this the reason for my loss these months?

Xia shouted several times, "Brother, what's wrong with you." ”

I cried, I cried again, I hadn't shed a tear for at least ten years, I thought I was more and more like a man the more I lived, but I cried again, this is the second time I have cried in front of Xia, I took a deep breath, I wanted to hold back, Xia continued in front of me, "Do you miss them? But they really won't like you, don't embarrass yourself." ”

Xia wanted to comfort me, her clever tongue was like a spring, sleek and sophisticated, why did she reveal the secret to me nakedly, "Brother, let me tell you, they can go on if they have money, really, really, I don't lie to you, the likes on their lips are fake, and the good words also want to make you money, really, it's not worth it." ”

I told Natsu about my feelings, the feeling of being abandoned. The person Xia said, and the person I said, are two kinds of people, but there is no difference, I have hidden my love for ten years, I thought it would be permanently sealed, as a result, it sprayed thin, Xia sat next to me, I hugged Xia, Xia's first reaction was still to protect his back pocket, thinking about taking out a knife, I said, "There is no malice, I just want to hug you." ”

Xia didn't move, he was held in my arms, I felt Xia's strong heartbeat, beating at the same frequency as my heartbeat, the warm gas at the tip of Xia's nose, crossed my neck, she was very nervous, short of breath, Xia took her hand out of her back pocket, held my hand, and lifted my hand from her waist to her shoulder, Xia didn't move, I hugged it tightly, tears were still flowing, flowing to Xia's shoulder, she must be thinking, 'Why are adults so hypocritical, it's going to be painful to have a birthday.'" ’

Xia's body trembled unconsciously, "Brother, my feet are numb." ”

I let go of Xia, lowered my head, rested my head on the pillow, tears still flowing, I felt like I was separated from my sensory system, I couldn't feel me crying at all.

Xia didn't know what to say, so he asked me, "I'll tell you a joke." ”

Before Xia could speak, I laughed when I heard this, and I said, "My story is finished, let's talk about you." ”

"I, I don't have anything to say, if you want to know something, you can ask me. Xia sat down on the edge of the sofa, leaned his head against the wall, his expression was exaggerated, and he hammered his chest and said, "But don't ask me about my sadness, or I'll cry." ”

I smashed a pillow down, Xia took the pillow and laughed, and the atmosphere suddenly became lively, "Why didn't you go to the exam." ”

"Ah, I overslept, so I missed it. Xia said and tugged at his clothes with a heartache, I looked at Xia seriously, Xia also became serious, and said, "Hey, brother, you are so curious, it's really condescending not to sit in the police." ”

"During the exam, the examination room was next to the suburb, very close to the bar, I moved back to live, in the morning, I came down to have breakfast, and went to the toilet by the way, but there was a child in the toilet, looking like a newborn, sticky, not crying or screaming, scared me to death, like a lump of dead meat, someone came to the toilet, I told her, there is a child, she turned her head and left, I want to take the exam again, I am really angry with me, and no one cares about her, I took the meal, wrapped the child in clothes, and then rode her to the hospital, left her at the door of the hospital, I thought it would be okay to drop it, but those people walked by and did not look at the package that did not cry, I was afraid, first went to buy a mask, wrapped it in his face, and then carried the child to the seat of the hospital, someone found him, and I left. In fact, the time was enough, but I was too panicked, the car fell off the chain again, I rushed to the examination room, and I was not allowed to enter, I was full of black oil on the car chain, pulling the arm of the invigilator, kneeling, useless, and left. If you don't leave, you will delay other people's exams. ”

Xia said as he spoke, his throat choked, and he changed his words and said with a smile, "It's okay, I finally saved a child, which is a good thing." ”

"That's right, it's a good thing, repeat the year and maybe you will be better in the exam next year. ”

"But I don't want to repeat my studies, I have a lot of money, and this is the money I saved for college. Don't let me know who lost the kid and caused me to lose the chance to go to college. Xia said angrily, but more helplessly.

"Where's the kid?"

"I don't know, I didn't dare to go back, I should be in the hospital, I'm afraid that the doctor will recognize me and let me pay the medical bills when I go back. ”

"You're not a relative, what do you pay for medical expenses? ”

"Of course I'm worried about running out of money, I'll go see it another day, and let him meet his lifesaver by the way. Xia said handsomely and blew the bangs in his ears, and it could be seen that although he missed the exam, Xia did not regret saving the child, and always felt that he missed the college entrance examination because he had delayed time on the road.

I said to go with Xia, Xia nodded, and said okay, the window of the living room was lit by the moonlight, the moon was no longer full, I looked at the moon, this moonlight was not as cool as a few days ago, it floated down gently and slowly, and fell on my body, Xia was sleepy, it was already early in the morning, I looked at the sleepy Xia, patted her, and she woke up in an alert moment.

"Let's go back to the house and sleep. ”

I sat on the sofa and touched my head, the hair that fell into my hand was white, I looked at my hair, I couldn't believe it, I ran to the mirror, but I couldn't see the roots of my hair, I knocked on Natsu's door again, and Natsu lit the light in a second.

"Can you come out for a moment? ”

Xia snapped open the door lock, and I stood at the door, holding a mirror, sitting on the spot, facing Xia with my head overhead, and said, "Look at my hair, whether there is gray hair." ”