Fang Qing had a small wooden box that contained her secrets, secrets about Chu Nange.

In that small wooden box there were one letter after another, representing one sleepless night after another.

The small wooden box was bought by Fang Qing before she went to Chu Nange's house after sending that message, because she felt that this small wooden box was very suitable, she also felt that Chu Nange would like this small wooden box, and more importantly, this small wooden box gave Fang Qing an excuse to find Chu Nange. It's a pity that she couldn't see Chu Nange, or it should be said that she couldn't find Chu Nange, so the little wooden box finally followed Fang Qing home.

The moment I dreamed of you, I knew I was finished. As for why I dream of you repeatedly, it's probably because I can only see you in my dreams.

Around the time Fang Qing dreamed of Chu Nange for the tenth time, she had insomnia. Insomnia is painful, but she doesn't know whether it is because she can't sleep or because she can't see Chu Nange through dreams anymore.

Alcohol, drugs, and even exercise can't help Fang Qing, because what she needs is not sleep, what she needs is a dream with Chu Nange, what she wants is to see Chu Nange again, even if it is in an illusory dream, even if everything will disappear when she wakes up, but at least, she can see Chu Nange smiling at her again. She needs those illusory dreams so much, but the more you look forward to something, the easier it is for you to lose it, Fang Qing couldn't dream of Chu Nange anymore, no matter what method she used to fall asleep, she couldn't see him in the dream again. This made Fang Qing even more anxious and painful, until she remembered the cigarette.

She didn't smoke, she just lit it, like Chu Nange she had seen before, watching the smoke fill the room, letting the smell of nicotine fill the room, as if he was still there, he was in the dark, where she could reach out, he was still beside her, quiet as usual, without words, but always by her side, never leaving.

The red light flickered in the darkness, and Fang Qing stared at the red light in a daze, until the cigarette burned out, the red light disappeared, and the so-called thoughts were shattered. Even if Fang Qing could still smell the familiar smell, he could never touch that person again. He wasn't there, he wasn't by her side for a long time, he was long gone, or she chose it herself, and she forced him away.

Fang Qing pulled her head and hid in the corner, as if this kind of behavior could change something, but what else could she change? The person who would care about her gently was long gone, and the person who cared about her had long been pushed away by her. She was very afraid, she was trembling, at this moment she needed a hug, she needed a gentle and warm embrace, she needed Chu Nange, but she had already lost Chu Nange, she had completely lost him.

Fear and anxiety replaced the smoke that swept the entire room, coupled with Fang Qing's dependence on Chu Nange and that unexplained longing, these were enough to crush Fang Qing who was hiding in the corner, and for the first time, a thought sprouted in her head - leave, or rather, die!

This is the reason why Fang Qing wrote the first letter to Chu Nange, as a farewell to everything, and as the beginning of everything.

A lot of things, once they have a beginning, don't stop. Fang Qing thought about how many nights Chu Nange had, how many letters there would be, those letters were hidden by Fang Qing in a small wooden box, it was a secret that only belonged to Fang Qing alone, a secret that no one would know.

Thanks to these secret letters, Fang Qing can act like a normal person during the day, but once she enters the night, she is still addicted to the smoke and is still stuck in the mire and unable to extricate herself.

Until she met Zhang Shi, the Zhang Shi who was also very quiet, the same but not the same Zhang Shi.

In the days with Zhang Shi, Fang Qing's face once again had a smile, and those smiles were no longer the fake smiles that pretended to be themselves in the past, nor were they cold smiles without temperature like marionettes. Once again, she seemed to feel the warmth and feel the warmth. Even if she still can't sleep well, even if she still writes letters in the middle of the night, she still hides in the middle of the night, hides in the smoke, writing one letter after another that makes no sense and can't be sent.

Thoughts and love can't be transferred, only light, time can be faded, but they are always unwilling to help you erase your memory, even if you beg hard, it always looks like it has nothing to do with you.

Fang Qing didn't forget Chu Nange in the end, but under the relationship with Zhang Shi, some things gradually blurred, and some emotions were quietly hidden.

She didn't write any more letters, she didn't put herself in the smoke of the night, she finally stopped sleepless, she didn't have to be in a cold corner of fear, but she didn't throw the cigarette away, she just locked it in the back of the closet along with the little wooden box. Pretend that nothing is happening, pretend that they don't exist. As if everything she pretended to be true if it took long enough.

All this is about to come true, it would be nice if it took a little longer, if Zhang Shi could propose after a while, if only he could give Fang Fang a little more time.

But no, just like Fang Qing thought he had recovered, it was just an illusion, like Chu Nange in the smoke, just an illusion.

On the night she was proposed, Fang Qing locked herself in her room and locked her in the dark. She lit the cigarette again, this time, she picked up the burning cigarette and took a puff like Chu Nange in the past, it was his taste, but not just his taste.

A lot of things have changed a long time ago, from the beginning. Fang Qing understood from the beginning, but she still chose to deceive herself, she thought that her love for Chu Nange was not so deep, just like she thought that she would be a little different from Chu Nange, although it was not as different as Ye Nan and He Shuhuan Shida, but it was still a little different. But this is just what she thinks, like smoke, there will always be a time to disperse, and those phantoms hidden in the smoke will always disappear as the smoke dissipates.

The ring on the ring finger kept reminding Fang Qing that Fang Qing's head was very messy, very messy, and time had faded the memory of the past, but it was still not enough, not enough for the past to become a thing of the past completely.

The smell of cigarette smoke is fading, and its effect is slowly diminishing.

Fang Qing looked at the ring on her ring finger in a daze, she seemed to be waiting for something, like many days and nights, she was waiting, the only difference was that this time, she knew that what she was expecting would not come, this time, she understood that what was not her own would still be lost even if she held it tightly.

She seemed to understand some of the words that Chu Nange had said, and she also seemed to understand his actions and words in the past, but she still couldn't be sure if what she was thinking or not was what he thought. And there will never be a right answer to this question.

It's still a sleepless night, but this night, for Fang Qing, is a new life. is different from the hiding of the past, and it is not for self-deception, she really wants to start over, as the new Fang Qing, or should I say, as Zhang Shi's fiancée.

It begins with those secret letters being burned and ends with the smoke clearing.

She opened the curtains and opened the windows in her room to let the sun in. Then freshen up, draw a light makeup in the mirror, change into a light purple dress, before going out, she stood in front of the mirror, looked at herself in the mirror, she showed a smile to herself in the mirror, real and beautiful.

If you want to forget someone, you first forget the smell of the person, then you forget the sound of the person, and finally the person looks like.

Fang Qing didn't think about what kind of scene it would be when she met Chu Nange again, of course, she never thought that she would meet Chu Nange again, and she didn't meet him again, even if he was passing by her side.

In the noisy environment, Fang Qing suddenly raised her head and looked around in a panic, but she couldn't see the familiar figure. She thought, maybe she was too tired and had no sleep all night, which was more or less affected.

For some people, missing out is a lifetime.

And some people are destined to drift apart and never cross paths again.