After I arrived at the company, I went to look for Li Yan, but I couldn't find her in the conference room, so I went to her office to look for her, and her colleague told me that Li Yan had gone to France on a business trip. At that time, I was stunned, according to the company's regulations, if I went on a business trip, I would notify me in advance, but Li Yan didn't tell me that she was going on a business trip before, even if she decided to go on a business trip temporarily, then Li Yan would tell me. The more I think about it, the more wrong I feel, I know Li Yan, she won't be this kind of goodbye to me. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became, I took out the phone and called Li Yan, but all I could get was "Hello, the phone you dialed has been turned off." The cold words of the system.

I walked around the office anxiously, I really wanted to tell Li Yan everything, I didn't want to pretend in front of her how much I loved her, how dedicated I was to my feelings with her. There are two people living in my heart, no, it should be three people, Li Yan, Zhou Fang, and Wen Xue who lives in the depths of my wounds, even if she trampled my entire first love under her feet, but I just can't let go of her. Since I met her today, I know that I still care about her, and I can clearly remember everything between me and her, including what she likes to eat, drink, and play, when her aunt comes and goes, and even what size of shoes she wears, what color socks she likes, and other small things that even she can ignore. That's why you can't let go of some people, everything is in your mind, if you want to forget then you have to choose to sleep completely, otherwise this world will only give you familiar memories.

Over and over again I dialed Li Yan's mobile phone, but all I got was the same sound, I regretted lying on the table and pulling my hair, those memories of the two of me when they were together appeared in front of my eyes over and over again, I looked at the photos of me and Li Yan on the table, that was the photo taken when the two of me went out on a trip for the first time, at that time I was still immersed in the pain of losing Wen Xue, my smile in the photo was so far-fetched, but Li Yan smiled very happily, facing the wind with her arms open and leaning on my arms, the wind blew her long hair, and some hair was still on my face。 I picked up the photo, smiled unconsciously at the corner of my mouth, and gently stroked the photo.

"Hello, the phone you are calling is off, please call again later. It was already past nine o'clock in the evening, and her phone felt like it had fallen into the Black Sea, and there was no news at all. I stood in front of the window with a wine bottle, looking at my home and Li Yan's home, and I realized how happy I was before. I suddenly saw Li Yan cooking in the kitchen, but why I was not by her side, why was Li Yan alone at home, I was anxiously looking for me in this room. Suddenly I appeared next to Li Yan, and I smiled happily at her. I've almost forgotten when I really fell in love with Li Yan. I slowly walked to the kitchen and gently hugged Li Yan from behind, but at the moment I hugged her, all the pictures disappeared, and all the pictures in front of me were just the dark kitchen, and suddenly Li Yan's laughter came from the sofa in the living room, I looked back and saw her running around the sofa, I was chasing her behind with an apron and a spoon, and she ran around the sofa with a "giggle". I watched Li Yan being pressed down on the sofa by "me" and tugging at her nose. The sound of "giggles" kept ringing in my ears. I smiled and walked towards the sofa, closed my eyes and reached out to touch Li Yan's face, I could feel the temperature on Li Yan's face. At that moment I didn't dare open my eyes, I was afraid that she would disappear again. I leaned back on the sofa, feeling the temperature of the room, a feeling of loneliness made me jerk the wine into my mouth, the wine ran down my throat and stimulated my stomach, the wine paralyzed my nerves, the groggy feeling made me gradually lose consciousness, lying on the sofa I forgot all the recent worries, and just lay down and fell asleep into the deepest memories in my mind.

"I hold your hand and wander at the crossroads of love, in love I strive to be the most beautiful clown. "The familiar ringing of my phone pulled me out of my sleep, and I supported my swollen head and touched my phone through the cracks of the couch.

"Hello, who?"

"It's me, can I come out? I'll be waiting for you at the old place. ”

I immediately woke up when I heard the voice, a familiar voice, but not a familiar tone, her tone when she called me now was so cold. This is the first time she took the initiative to call me since the breakup, I almost don't remember the last time she took the initiative to call me, that is, the phone call on the day of the breakup was still from me, although I didn't say that phone breakup, but she said it, I almost forgot how long it was since the last call.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"Ahh ”

"I'll wait for you at the old place, we'll meet and talk. ”

Before I could say a word, she hung up on my phone, and a "beep" sound came from the receiver, and I stared at the phone and shook my head. In the past, she hung up the phone first, but at that time, her attitude towards me was not as indifferent as it is now, she used to always kiss me on the other end of the phone when she hung up the phone, and she would get tired of me for a long time before hanging up the phone. But now she hung up the phone without even giving me a chance to speak. It's ironic that after breaking up, I became so humble in front of her, humble that I wasn't even a pug.

Driving the car, my mind is full of scenes of me and her together, all the scenes in the past ten years have flashed in front of my eyes frame by frame, and some scenes flash in my heart like a knife. We were together at that time and I felt that we were sweeter than any couple, she was headstrong, naughty, and liked me to spoil her.

Once, the two of us discussed whether it would be better to have a boy or a girl in the future, she liked boys, and wanted to dress up boys handsomely, and take them out to let her son go to tease her sister when the time came. And I like girls, I like to spoil my daughter as a treasure in the palm of my hand. I used to fantasize that I would have two "daughters" in my later life. One is Wen Xue and the other is our daughter. I will use all my energy to spoil her two princesses in the world. But all my fantasies turned so humble at the moment of breakup. When I knew that she was using me as her love puppet, I gave up all the illusions I had about our future, and now my first love had become humble, and my ten years were like being abandoned in the garbage dump, so cheap. Maybe I spoiled her too much in those ten years, making her think that my love for her is what I deserve, and she is used to my love for her, as long as other men give a little bit to her, she will feel that any man loves her more than me.

I looked at this very familiar place in front of me, which had some good memories of my past, and now she chose this place, whether she wanted to tell me something, or whether she wanted to trample on my dignity and first love here again. It's like your favorite cup, which will be broken by the person you like, you drink from it, cut your mouth, throw it away, you can't bear it. With questions and sorrows, I walked into this place that was once full of sweetness.

"Hello, can you tell me what to do now?"

I sat down in front of her, looking at her now cold face, I smiled, and I became polite in front of her. I never thought that we would become strangers and strangers, I thought about keeping her, and I even had a little illusion in my heart, even though she was married now. But she didn't even look at me since I came in, and kept looking down at her phone, as if I was air in front of her.

"Don't provoke Zhou Fang, don't let her cry because of you anymore. ”

After hearing what she said, my mind "buzzed", could it be that Wen Xue knew about the matter between me and Zhou Fang, no, she must have known it, otherwise she would not have asked me to say this.

"You know, besides, this matter doesn't seem to have much to do with you, you just take care of your family, don't worry too much. ”

She heard my cold tone and suddenly raised her head to stare at me. I hadn't spoken to her like this in 10 years, and the most important thing I ever said when I was with her was "Have you had enough trouble?" Other than that, I haven't spoken to her in such a tone as I do now. In fact, when I said it, my heart felt like someone had pulled it down, and tears rolled in my eyes.

"Also, your business has nothing to do with me, but Zhou Fang's business is my business, I just hope you don't become such a scumbag, don't hurt Zhou Fang, I knew from the beginning that Zhou Fang liked you, but now you can't give Zhou Fang happiness, you have Li Yan, I hope you have more self-respect, don't let me look down on you." ”

Wen Xue stared at me and said these words to me in a cold tone. I could see in her eyes that she didn't care about me, and it made me feel uncomfortable, like I was stripped naked and standing in front of her to make her laugh.

"Hehe, Wen Xue, you don't pretend here that you care about anyone very much, why did I become the way I am now, don't you know the reason? Wen Xue, I He Fei thinks that he is very good to you for so many years, but what about you, you put our love, no, it is not your love, it is my love, you put my love under your feet and then throw it to everyone to trample on it again, may I ask, I am not a scum now, do I still have dignity in you? Do you still look up to me? Wen Xue: If you're talking to me about this today, then I'll go first, I still have something to do. ”

I said all my words for today, including the pain I have endured for so long. After that, I was ready to get up and leave, but I was still afraid that what I said today was too heavy, and she would not be able to stand it. I looked back at her and saw that she was leaning over and looking very pained. It's just that I don't care, she used to rely on this trick to make me bow my head, and I would get hit every time, and she was like no one was at all. But I won't be tricked again today, because she is married, and I am also a person with my own life, so I don't need to bow my head to her anymore. But when I walked to the door, I heard her calling Wang Kai.

"Wang Kai, you come to pick me up, I'm in the Love Cafe, come and pick me up. ”

Listening to her painful voice, I still don't worry about her, I can't change my concern for her, I'm used to me staying by her side every time she is in pain. But when I looked back, I saw that she was not pretending to be today, she was curled up on the sofa, looking very painful, and I saw her pale face from the side. I forgot her indifference to me today, and quickly ran over to help her, and asked anxiously:

"What's wrong with you, are you okay? I'll call the hospital. ”

I held her up, I felt her body tremble, her body gradually became cold, I suddenly became scared, I quickly took her into my arms

"It's okay, I'll take you to the hospital. ”

She felt me holding her, and she tried to push me away, but I couldn't feel any strength from her, only I could vaguely hear her weak words.

"Go away, I don't need you to accompany me, you let go of me. ”

When I was holding her, I didn't care what she was talking about, and I thought that nothing would happen to me, even if you hit me and scolded me after I woke up, I would admit it. I gently patted her on the back, comforting her all the time, trying to give her a sense of security. She leaned into my arms, her consciousness blurring. I may have forgotten that I was holding her, her arms wrapped around my neck, lying on my shoulders as if she was crying, and muttering "I'm sorry" or something like that. Looking at her current condition, I don't know what she has experienced after leaving me, why she is so sick. I never noticed anything wrong with her body before, she has always been healthy. But now why she is like this, why her face is no longer indifferent but painful after she loses consciousness, who is her "sorry" for, all the questions fill my mind. Suddenly I was pushed away by a strong force, I stumbled backwards, I looked at the person in front of me angrily, but when I saw the person in front of me clearly, all my fire was crushed in my heart.

"He Fei, you stay away from her in the future, if she has anything to do today, I will definitely not let you go. ”

It was Wen Xue's husband, Wang Kai, who looked at me angrily, and I saw real worry and pain in his eyes. I could feel his anger from the bottom of his heart from his words, and after he finished speaking, he hugged Wen Xue and left. Seeing Wen Xue leaning on his shoulder, I patted my face to sober myself up and not dwell on the past. I should also thank Wang Kai, the moment he pushed me away, I walked out of the love I had with Wen Xue. Now that Wen Xue is married and has a husband to take care of, what am I, I have been removed from her world by her. But it wasn't until later that I learned that her "I'm sorry" was for me, that she buried all the debts she owed to me in her heart, and went to another world with pain.

On the way back, I always felt that I could treat her as indifferently as her, but after I made it, I realized that no matter how she treated me, my heart still loved her so much, and I loved her, even if I pretended to be indifferent, I couldn't hide that I once loved her.