Without much thought, I grabbed the key and went out the door.

It's late autumn, and the underground parking lot is cold and chilling, and my mood has reached the freezing point.

Driving on the empty motorway, under the dim light, I saw a light rain in the sky, Siqi likes rainy days the most, she likes to wear cute pink Peppa Pig rain boots, treading water in puddles, those shoes are specially bought for her to tread water, I grew up in the countryside when I was a child, "pee and mud" have played, Siqi loves to play with water, why should I restrain the nature of children!

The car drove into the hospital, and I ran to the inpatient department in a hurry.

On weekdays, I rarely go to the hospital unless there are special circumstances, I don't think this place is bad, and the air is filled with the smell of disinfectant and formalin. It's a place of death, of pain, of despair, of sorrow, of fear, but when it comes to a new life, everything here is so grateful. People, really contradictory!

I ran to room 1008 of the pediatric department as if I was dying, and almost bumped into a little nurse in a pink uniform.

"Mom—"

Siqi's usually red face was a little pale and weak at this time. There are still tears on his face, long eyelashes are moist under his eyelids, and the veins on his little hands are pierced with needles.

My mother-in-law and Lao Chen looked at me almost at the same time, "Jingjing, where are you going? Are you working overtime again?" Is it important to go to work or ...... children?"

My mother-in-law chattered and complained to me a few words, but Lao Chen kept silent, and it could be seen that he had nowhere to spill his anger in his heart.

I didn't speak, but sat at the head of my daughter's bed, gently stroked the fine and soft hairs on her forehead, and felt guilty in my heart.

"Siqi, my mother is still fine when she goes to school in the morning, why do you have a fever at night?"

"Mom, I don't know, I was playing downstairs after school, and I wasn't feeling well after dinner. ”

At this time, I saw my mother-in-law's face making a mistake, and I already knew in my heart that eight or nine were not far from ten.

It's late autumn now, it's cool in the morning and evening, I said to my mother-in-law I don't know how many times, don't take Siqi downstairs to the outdoor children's facilities to play, and when I rest, I will take Siqi to Wanda Indoor Amusement Park to play, today there is still a northwest wind blowing outside, can the child sweat like to sweat without catching a cold? Mother-in-law just likes to play with a bunch of aunts and full-time housewives downstairs.

"Mom-" The daughter's voice was soft, weak, and I felt pain in my heart, the child was the mother's weakness, and I would rather lie on the hospital bed with me, the needle poked in the child's hand, and it hurt in my heart.

"Huh, baby, what's wrong?" I took Siqi's little hand and looked at her affectionately.

"Mom - Grandma didn't show me Peppa Pig cartoons, Grandma doesn't use an iPad. ”

"Siqi, when you are discharged from the hospital, my mother will show you. Now, let's rest more, and when we have the strength to jump into the mud puddle like Page and George!"

"Well, Mom, I see. Mom, I want to take the initiative to admit my mistake to you, I pestered my grandmother to take me downstairs today, Mom, don't blame grandma for taking me downstairs to play, okay?"

After listening to my daughter's words, my nose was sour, and my daughter, who was only five years old, was sensitive and sensed my displeasure.

"Okay, no one is to blame Mom! You are Mom's weakness, Mom's intimate little padded jacket, Mom's treasure, and Mom's everything. Mommy listens to you!"

The daughter let out a "giggle" laugh, and she knew I was complimenting her.

"Mom, I'm so lonely at home alone, no one plays with me, Dad always fights landlords, Grandma likes to watch the Avenue of Stars, can you help me give birth to a younger brother like George to play with me?"

Dizzy! How could Siqi have such an idea? In the past, when I was holding someone else's child, she was jealous, her face was red and her neck was thick, how has the direction of the wind changed now? Could it be that her mother-in-law brainwashed Siqi? Or did Lao Chen work hard behind her back?

I glanced at Lao Chen, and his eyes suddenly dodged. Just now, he was still settling accounts after the autumn, but now he has a little less confidence, and there are signs of a dog jumping off the wall in a hurry, "No! I didn't teach her that! I promise, neither does our mother!".

"I went to get a bottle of hot water, and Siqi might have a dry mouth and drink water at night. ”

The mother-in-law found a reason and went to the pantry in the hospital corridor with the water bottle in a hurry.

I was trying to get some military information out of Siqi's mouth, and she was already asleep. I glanced at Lao Chen with a roll of his eyes, but he came to his senses.

"You deliberately didn't go home today, didn't you? You are too resentful, I just said a few words yesterday, you said, you beat my son out, I am sad in my heart, did I say anything? But my mother is old, she is reluctant to give up her grandson, I can't help her say a few words? Filial piety comes first, and I have inherited the fine tradition of the Chinese nation......

Lao Chen is a university professor, in terms of eloquence, how can I say that a people's teacher can casually speak into chapters, be able to speak well, and speak skillfully?

"How do you know it must be a son?"

The ward was a double room, and the child in the next bed was asleep, and his parents were leaning against the head of the bed and dozing. Seeing this, I pulled Lao Chen out.

"Lao Chen, your mother and son sing and harmonize, Siqi has been brainwashed by you, I will make it clear today, I don't want to have a second child, if Siqi was a boy, I would be willing to give birth to a younger sister or younger brother, but Siqi is a sister, I don't want her to fall out of favor because she has an extra brother, just like me back then!"

Lao Chen smoked, a pack of cigarettes every three days, and he was not comfortable at this time, so he took out a cigarette and prepared to smoke it secretly at the staircase.

"Don't smoke! This is a hospital, you are a university professor, a role model, can you be an example, here are all the flowers of the motherland, you want to kill them?"

"I don't let this or that, people say that I marry a little wife, and my life is free and comfortable, I think I'm looking for a sworn enemy! I said Wang Jing, can't you let go of that little thing? Your parents can't do it well, it doesn't mean that our family can't make a bowl of water! I think you have psychological problems, I suggest you go to a mental hospital, you are thirty years old, you can't get out of the shadow of childhood, you are a cowardly performance, it is an inferiority complex in your bones, my daughter will not be like you!"

Some emotions are suitable for hiding in the bottom of the heart, some pains are suitable for silent forgetting, and some experiences do not need to be understood by others, as long as they are clear to themselves. However, I thought Lao Chen could understand me. When I first fell in love, because he had an innate sense of security, I opened my heart to a man for the first time and told a man about my family, my own upbringing, and those grievances and sad past.

Over the years, I think I have done a good job, but you are still immersed in your own world, and you don't care about the feelings of other members of the family. ”

I don't know how to love? maybe! A boy said to me many years ago...... I looked at Lao Chen's bloodshot eyes and didn't say a word.

After Lao Chen vomited, he went back to the ward to accompany his daughter, leaving me alone at the empty entrance of the building, grievances and sour emotions came to my heart, and some past things flashed in front of me again.