I'm He Ximing, and since I was a child, I knew that I was different from other classmates, and this difference did not refer to our body, but to our family.

My mother is a stall seller, I don't think that having such a mother will make me look down on me, but my mother feels ashamed to have a son like me, although she didn't say it, although I have always been what others call "other people's children", but no matter how good I do, she doesn't like me.

Every time she was in a bad mood, she would beat and scold me, she might think that I was a child and didn't remember anything, but it wasn't like that, every word she said, every word she said, I firmly remembered it in my heart.

So, I also learned one thing, I was not born to her.

But when she went to the countryside to join the queue, because she wanted to stay in a village with better conditions, she extended an olive branch to a man, but she didn't expect that the man was too cowardly, so he didn't dare to take it, and he turned around and married a woman from the same village.

Although she managed to stay in that village later, this matter still became a problem for her, so she began to be a sister to that woman and began to have a good relationship with others. Then, when the woman gave birth, she had already returned to the city, but because she had been in contact with that friend, she hurried to the hospital, and after breaking away the man, she took me away on the grounds of relatives.

And then I was her oil bottle, the object of her anger in this life.

After knowing this, I didn't have much hope for my mother's love, because she was not my mother. I started to look forward to growing up, I started to study hard, I tried to skip grades, I tried all my hard work just to be better than everyone else, better than everyone else.

Finally, when I was in junior high school, I was going to go to school in the town, and finally got rid of my mother and went to live in my uncle's house, but my uncle was no better than my mother to me, and when I was growing up, I was hungry and dizzy every day, but my aunt obviously didn't give me enough food, and complained to my mother every day that I ate too much, and I came out to refute, and my uncle beat me.

I actually admire me, I can use this weak body to study all the way to university, and it is the kind of institution of higher learning that everyone sees as a carp jumping over the dragon gate, I feel that my fate has changed, and I think that after I graduate, I can get rid of them and become a master.

But after entering, I realized that there are people outside the world, and not all schools only care about learning, and children from small places are really different from children from large places. For example, my classmates can sing and dance, and they are proficient in all kinds of violin and piano, but I seem to be the only one who can shoot basketball.

So I started to concave the basketball personality in the school, saying that I can only study and basketball, and those nymphomaniac girls who have no brains really believe it, and every time someone says something bad about me, they will stand up and say good things about me, and in order to continue to go to school, in order not to take my mother's money, in order not to have any contact with her, I started to study with a certain amount of energy, and got scholarships and grants.

As for substitute teaching children like other students, I don't care about it, because how can such a noble person do such a degrading thing? Although my school is a first-class school, there will also be some different species, such as the kind of family who has the money to stuff their own children in.

It just so happens that I know a group of people who don't know them, no, I should say, there is no one in the whole school who doesn't know them. They dress all day long, obviously girls, but they are like street gangsters, they don't learn all day long, they smoke and drink. From the bottom of my heart, I look down on them, but I also secretly envy them, because they have a good life, they won't be beaten, and they have parents who can carry them in case of trouble.

But what about me? No matter how good I do, what awaits me is either beating or scolding.

So I watched, envied, despised and yearned.

But one day, as I passed through a small alley, I noticed that one of the girls was surrounded by a group of thugs, so I rushed up, one to save her, and the other to show her that, although she had a good life, she needed someone like him to help her.

After that night, the little girl began to appear in front of me like a kraft candy, bringing me food on time every morning, bringing me clothes and water when I was playing, and circling me every day. I know, she likes me, I like this feeling of being liked by the rich daughter, I know it's my vanity, but at the time, I needed it. I need this to prove to other people, that even if I only study, even if I only play in other leisure activities, even if we don't have anything in the family, there will be a rich lady who likes me.

But I really hate her, because she always makes me feel the gap between two people inadvertently, I like the feeling of her sticking to me, but there is hatred for her being in front of me. So, when everyone jokingly bet me that Qi Qian'er would be waiting for me in that square, I nodded. The sudden feeling of guilt in my heart disappeared when she happily sent me a large box of chocolates that I couldn't even name, but enough for half a year's living expenses.

I indifferently took her chocolates and asked her to go to that square and say to go on a date with her. Looking at the back of Qi Qian'er jumping away, the hand I wanted to throw away the box of chocolates slowly took it back, because she was so excited, my heart trembled, and suddenly, a little unbearable. But I can't bet with other people, I can't lose, I can't, it's about my pride.

But I never expected that it was raining heavily that day, and I sat in the library and watched the pouring rain outside, and my heart was very anxious. While thinking about whether she would have left has already made me lose face. On the other hand, he thought that if she hadn't left, she would probably get sick if the rain went down.

At this anxious moment, my classmates called me out and told me that Qi Xi'er was still waiting in that square, stupid, and thought I would go. After listening to this, I went back to the dormitory in a daze, then changed my clothes and went out with an umbrella.

When someone asked me what I was going to do, I just laughed and said I went out to buy a pack of cigarettes, but I knew it wasn't. Because, I still think about the silly girl in the rain in the square. It was the first time I had taken a taxi from school to that square in such luxury. In the pouring rain, the little girl stood there so stupidly, she didn't look up, she couldn't see her expression clearly, but just looking at her thin body trembling in the rain made me shudder.

Why is she so stupid?

Why didn't she go?

I wanted to go over to her and ask her to hurry home, I wanted to stop this farce, but when I saw a few classmates appear in front of her and tell the truth, I flinched, I didn't dare to go over, let alone admit it, my heart softened, my heart moved, I was shocked.

Therefore, I had no courage, and she stood in the rain all night. Thankfully, the rain stopped, and I breathed a sigh of relief. In the morning, I stopped a sanitation aunt and gave her a large sum of money to go home and take a few of her clothes to send to Qi Qian'er, and then went to buy medicine for Qi Qian'er and asked her aunt to send them over.

When I had done everything, I hurried to school, changed my clothes and went out to buy breakfast, and pretended that I had spent the night in the library and needed to catch up on sleep, and drank myself a few cold medicines and fell asleep.

I was woken up by the movement outside, and hurriedly dressed and went downstairs, and saw a group of people laughing around Qi Qian'er, and Qi Qian'er was standing downstairs in my dormitory, not saying anything. I'm a little angry, why is this girl so stubborn? It's been raining all night, don't you know how to go home to rest? Even a boy like me almost catches a cold when he gets drenched in the rain.

Sure enough, the little girl downstairs was flushed, not looking like a normal person at all, but she looked at me so stubbornly. I've never seen that look in my life, pure love and trust.

To my surprise, instead of questioning me, she smiled slowly.

"He Ximing, I know, you didn't come yesterday just because something was delayed, didn't you? ”

Everyone else stood by and watched me coax, I wanted to shake my head in denial, but seeing her abnormal flushing, I opened my mouth, and my throat was like a ball of cotton, and I couldn't say a word.

In the end, it was her sister group that came, and I forcibly endured the guilt, uneasiness, self-blame and other negative emotions in my heart, and yelled at her in a very angry tone A few words that even I couldn't remember, and then quickly went upstairs to cover myself in the quilt, motionless, my mind was still Qi Qian'er's fragile and smiling face, my eyes were sour, swollen, and my heart was like a boulder, so that I couldn't breathe.

I am ashamed of myself for such a vile and disgusting act, and I spit on such a person.

So when I saw Qi Qian'er later, I would always face her with more ugly words and a more cold and indifferent attitude, I thought she would leave me, but every time she was so sad that she stood in place with tears in her eyes and smiled, laughing at my heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys.

As long as it is what I like, she will contact it, as long as I love, she also loves, clumsy her, cute her, stubborn her, sad her, every one of her makes me difficult to let go. My heart was trembling, I was tormenting, I was expecting relief, but I was drowning in a little bit.

Then I met another girl, I originally thought that I could use Yan Junchen to make Qi Qian'er retreat, but Yan Junchen was like a smooth little fish, and he had a good relationship between me and Qi Qian'er, so I couldn't do anything at all. So I ran away and I applied to study abroad.

The years of studying abroad were not easy, I was surrounded by strangers, it was difficult to survive, it was difficult to study, and my heart was even more difficult. It was as if she had suddenly disappeared and disappeared from my life. But there is one person who has kept in touch with me, and that is Yan Junchen.

Our relationship is getting better and better, and I want to know about Qi Qian'er from her, but unfortunately, there is nothing, and she doesn't say anything. So in order to get closer to Qi Qian'er, I returned to China. I didn't know what kind of embarrassment I was facing, I just wanted to see her.

At last, I finally saw her, and in my most embarrassed position, she appeared in front of me, like an angel, and confessed to me that she wanted to marry me. I still can't figure out what she loved about me, just because I stood in front of her that night.

After all, I didn't have to beat my heart, I agreed to her proposal, but her father didn't accept me, but Qi Qian'er cried, made trouble and hanged herself, and Qi's father finally relented. I should have been happy, but in that family, the eyes of everyone looking at me from top to bottom made me always think about my identity, I wanted to think about the gap between myself and Qi Qian'er, I was proud and inferior, so I once again went against my good heart for Qi Qian'er, and I poured all the negative emotions I got from others into Qi Qian'er.

Qi Qian'er took it all without any complaints, I looked at her at that time, I regretted it again, I felt like I really deserved to die, I really loved her, how could I do that to her? But next time, I will still do it, because only this can make me feel that I am still alive.

In this ambivalence day after day, I started getting drunk, and I started hanging out in bars. Wine is really not a good thing, and after getting drunk again, Yan Junchen and I walked together. For a moment, I really wanted to chop up that troublesome thing, but I was a coward.

I crawled to Qi's house with a little breath, I regretted it, I shouldn't be sorry for Qi Qian'er, I should be good to her, I should compensate her. But the good times didn't last long, and when all the pressure came to me again, I still didn't hold on, so I went to find Yan Junchen.

People say that there is only one and countless times of cheating, and I feel like I'm addicted, once, twice, three or four times...... I consoled myself that as long as Qi Qian'er didn't find out, everything could be treated as if it hadn't happened. But I found out that she knew, just when she called Yan Junchen into the house. I don't know if it was because of shame or anger, I was furious, and I even pulled Yan Junchen into our room in front of her.

Actually, I didn't do anything, because I was crying, I don't know how things got to this point, but I ...... There is no turning back. I thought that what was waiting for me would be a divorce certificate for the two of us, but I never expected that Qi Qian'er just moved out.

This home, without Qi Qian'er, is it still home? It just so happened that Qi Tianxiong was not there, so I asked Yan Junchen to come here, I wanted to take revenge on Qi Qian'er for leaving, I wanted to make her regret it, but I didn't expect that Qi Tianxiong would be so gone.

Seriously, I didn't know that Qi Qian'er already had a child at the time, and if I knew, I probably wouldn't have done that, I wouldn't be such a bastard. I have a vague memory of what happened next, as if I hated her more and more, and she became more and more neurotic, so much so that I sent people to a mental hospital in order to treat her.

The last time I saw her, she was lying in a cold coffin, her eyes closed. I confessed everything indifferently, but that night, a man secretly went to her grave and cried.

I know that her death may be related to Yan Junchen, but what can I do? Yan Junchen is already the mother of my child, what else can I do?

Life has to go on, I work day after day, and life can only make me feel comfortable when I see my children. But one day when I suddenly got off work early, I saw Yan Junchen lying on my bed with a strange man, and my mind went blank.

I can't remember the man's face, but I do know it's a man. Yan Junchen called the police and revealed that I killed Qi Tianxiong back then, plus she is now in charge of my money, and if I buy it again, I will be imprisoned.

She came over to tell me that the child was not mine, nothing was mine, and asked me where the treasure of the Qi family that I had hidden was, and I smiled slowly.

The baby of the Qi family, isn't it Qi Qian'er?

Valuable, in my heart, she is a priceless baby?

I just said it casually, and she actually believed it.

Later, when I looked at her, I suddenly felt very bored, rather than living like this, it is better to die happily? Moreover, she probably didn't know, as early as the end of Qi Qian'er's life, I had already made a will, and all the property in my name would be donated after my death, except that a necklace that I had bought for Qi Qian'er but did not give away was now lying peacefully on my chest.

When the flame engulfed me, I felt as if I had experienced my life and her life again, and slowly closed my eyes, I thought.

That innocent, cute and kind little girl, in the next life, you must never meet me again!

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