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Song Lian entrusted my father to a nursing home before his death, and when Xu Shenlin took him over to see my mother for the last time, my mother was completely out of breath, and he stood by the bedside and looked at my mother's already cold body and did not move.

I don't know if his brain can understand what death is, I stood aside and covered my mouth and tried not to disturb him from crying, I just wanted him to say goodbye to my mother.

He didn't even have time to see her one last time.

The air in the ward seemed to be frozen, my dad stood there with his hand trembling and stretched out his hand and slowly touched my mother's bloodless face, his voice was hoarse with the old man's character, and he asked a little puzzled, what's wrong with you, why don't you speak.

No one could answer him, and the silence in the room seemed to be swept by a violent wind, and everything turned into a dead silence like nothingness, except for my very small whimpering cry, like the cry of a sleepy beast that could not find a way out.

How could Song Lian be so ruthless and throw everything to me, how could she throw all the responsibilities she should bear to me, how could this be.

My dad stood there for a long, long time, so long that I thought he would continue like this, when he suddenly turned around and rushed out of the door of the hospital room as if he was frightened, and I chased after him quickly.

His staggered back was running fast down the hallway, and the dim light shone on him, and he turned around and disappeared into the hallway, and I chased after him, shouting hoarsely, Dad, you are going there!

After he ran out that night, I searched almost half of the city outside and didn't see him, and that night it rained heavily, a very heavy rain.

I came back from a few laps outside, exhausted, soaking wet, and my strength had reached the extreme, and I sat under the floor of the hospital corridor.

I squatted there like a beggar, my eyes wandered a little as I watched the patients and doctors walking past me back and forth, my clothes were soaked to my body temperature drying, I didn't know how long I had been squatting, my legs were numb, my head was dizzy, and I squatted there crying in despair.

Many people passing by in the corridor looked at me with strange eyes, their eyes were full of curiosity and numbness, but they didn't ask each other, what else could the people crying in the hospital have besides the death of their relatives and serious illness, and the most important thing in the hospital is the people who cried out loud.

Because of this, I cried more and more unbridledly, and my voice no longer felt like my own, and I felt like my crying throat was going to smoke, until I couldn't cry anymore.

The bustling corridors began to fall silent, and few people walked around again, as it was already twelve o'clock in the middle of the night.

I surrounded myself, staring numbly at a certain corner of the wall for a moment, there was a sound of footsteps at the end of the corridor, and finally the footsteps stopped in my sight, I stared at it for a long time and slowly raised my head to look at him, Xu Shenlin was also soaked, and his clothes were still dripping with water, this is the first time I have known him for so long to see him so embarrassed.

I just looked at him and didn't speak, I thought my eyes must have been very sad at that time, otherwise why would Xu Shenlin, who has always been cold and hard, sit in the corridor with me regardless of his image, he hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead and said, I'm sorry.

I don't know if his sorry didn't help me find my dad, or if I'm sorry that he ruined my family in a short period of time, I leaned on his arms and didn't push him away, nor did he move, just let him hold me.

Xu Da was also soaked when he came in from outside in the rain, and when he saw Xu Shenlin and I squatting at the entrance of the corridor in embarrassment, a slight surprise flashed in his eyes, but then he walked to Xu Shenlin's side and bowed his head and said something in his ear.

I didn't hear clearly.

Xu Shenlin said, continue to search, be sure to let Director Ye not stop.

Xu Da answered, Xu Shenlin held me in his arms, he gently stroked my wet hair, and said softly, Let's go home first, okay?

There was a long silence, I didn't answer him, but my eyes were numb.

He didn't wait for me to answer, he picked me up from there, his body position changed, the light in the corridor shone mercilessly in my eyes, I felt a sharp tingling pain in my pupils as if someone was holding a silver needle and piercing it hard, and buried my face in his arms and didn't move for half a minute.

I only heard the sound of inconsistent footsteps in the hallway.

Out of the corridor, when I arrived outside the hospital, the heavy rain had not stopped, Xu Da was instructed by Xu Shenlin to deal with the funeral of Song Lian and my mother, and my father's police station was sending people to look for it.

Xu Shenlin carried me in, the driver took back the umbrella and quickly entered the driving position to start the car, he carefully put me on the back seat, holding a white towel in his hand to wipe the dampness on my body.

He wiped it carefully, but he didn't talk to me.

It wasn't until the car reached the bottom of his apartment that he picked me out of the car again, and I was like a soulless puppet who couldn't even say a word, and couldn't even express his resentment and let him take me back.

It wasn't until he carried me to the bed and reached out and started untying my wet clothes that I felt like he was holding down a string, smashing everything in his room like a madman.

I got up from the bed and pushed him hard, I let him go, I didn't want to see him.

But he didn't move, let me push him, let me smash everything in his room into a mess, and he stood there without moving.

Pursing his lips with a serious expression.

I was also tired of pushing and sat on the floor, he squatted down again and continued to untie my clothes for me, his arms and face, full of scratches when I pushed him, he didn't go, I grabbed his scratches.

But he took off all my clothes as if he didn't see me, wrapped the sheets around me, and carried me to the bathroom, the bathroom was a dazzling light, I closed my eyes and let the warm water flood my body, he reached out to wash my already wet hair.

His fingers rested on the red marks on my body, which I had been bitten by mosquitoes when I was in prison, and after so long, he still didn't get better, and he didn't apply much medicine.

He withdrew his hand and said, "I'll go get the medicine."

After Xu Shenlin left, I opened my red and swollen eyes and looked at the bathroom full of light, and after looking at it for a long time, I felt that my eyes tingled and I couldn't stand it, so I closed my eyes and shrank in the bathtub again, letting the aromatherapy water flood my eyes, ears and nose, and I felt a suffocation coming, and I still didn't plan to open my eyes and emerge from the water.