on stage.

Li Fan complained about some middle-aged and elderly miracle drugs, TV station prize quiz scams, etc., and then changed the conversation and began to complain about the four fixed guests on the field.

"When I received a call from our producer's invitation, I agreed, after all, I heard that the level of our show in the first two seasons is obvious to all in the entire online media and TV industry, and the reputation is excellent, and we can't surpass it," Li Fan paused slightly when he said this, and said with a heavy word, "I said 'we are all here'!"

The host Zhang Gang waved his hand, "Don't worry, Li Fan, our production this season is more sophisticated, the star lineup is stronger, and we have hired me as a new host, which will definitely surpass the previous two seasons." ”

"Okay, the production is more sophisticated, the star lineup is stronger, these two alone, indeed-", seeing Zhang Gang gesture to himself with his hand, Li Fan stepped on the rhythm, shook his head and said, "Uh, I really can't say if I have you!"

In the laughter of the audience, Li Fan continued: "The producer called me at the time and asked, Li Fan, do you know our show? I said that I had watched the clip, and the producer asked me if I knew Teacher Zhang, and I said that of course I know Teacher Zhang Gang, isn't it the one who goes in and out of the hosting world?"

Zhang Gang, who twice announced his retirement from the hosting world, bowed his head and kept sighing.

"The producer also asked, do you recognize the 'faint'? I said no, the producer said that it was the one with the smallest eyes, and I asked in surprise: 'Hey, that guy actually has eyes?'"

The camera was faint, faintly "squinting" his eyes and smiling.

Li Fan continued: "Before recording the show today, I finally saw a faint in the lounge, and lightly took my hand and said: 'Li Fan, they all say that I have small eyes, a collapsed nose, and that I am ugly, you can honestly and objectively comment on my appearance. ’

I thought about it for a long time, looked at the faint anticipation on my face, and then nodded vigorously: 'Well, you look very creative!'

He said lightly, 'What about my nose?'

I said, 'Someone else's nose is a viaduct, yours is a suspension bridge!'

'What about my eyes?'

'Eyes, other people's eyes are the windows of the soul, your eyes are the cat's eyes of the soul!'

Seeing that I was devastated by the light, I hurriedly comforted: "I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people, one is particularly beautiful, and the other is like you, don't be discouraged, your return rate is no worse than mine!"

In the laughter and applause of the audience, the audience lightly covered their faces and "cried bitterly".

Li Fan said again: "The producer asked: 'Who else do you know except for faintness, do you know Chizi?' I said no, he said: 'Chizi is the future of Huaguo talk show called by netizens, and you don't know him?'

As soon as I heard this, I put down the phone and hurriedly watched the first two seasons of the show, looking at the wonderful performance of my country's talk show in the future, and after watching it, I couldn't help but exclaim: 'Our talk show in China seems to have no future!!'"

The audience applauded, and Chizi made a gesture of sticking a knife into his chest.

Li Fan pointed to a talk show host in the audience, and said in surprise: "Hey, Wang Jian, it's really strange that you are laughing too! The ratings are so low, and the broadcast hasn't stopped yet?"

Wang Jian lowered his head in shame.

……

"Okay, I'm Li Fan, a newcomer in the Tucao world, please take care of me!"

Li Fan bowed off the stage, sat down in the guest seat, and watched the talk show performances of other invited stars.

There are some differences between the "Tucao Conference" in this time and space and the previous life.

The "Tucao Conference" here invites 4 stars in each issue, and each of them will bring a talk show. Then, the other 4 regular guests of the show also took the stage to complain.

complained about social phenomena, and also complained about the guests present, in a relaxed and lively atmosphere, making the whole show full of entertainment and sharpness.

After the other three specially invited celebrity guests came to the stage to complain, the other four regular guests of the show began to take the stage one after another.

This show has a characteristic, but for the celebrities' complaints, on the surface, they are complaining, but in fact, sometimes they are more whitewashing. And there are a lot of self-deprecating jokes, this self-deprecating behavior is very easy to attract fans, such as the self-deprecation that follows lightly!

Walked on the stage with his eyelids lightly, "Hello everyone, I am faint, I am the kind of person who is particularly attractive in Li Fan's mouth! I finally met Li Fan today and the real person, my heart is as excited as the audience, this is not the same beautiful boy who was named 'once in 50,000 years' by netizens."

But even if you are handsome, what do you mean by saying that you are compared to monkeys? Ah Li Fan, ah a beautiful boy who comes out once in 50,000 years?"

The applause at the scene was warm, and some people whistled, but Li Fan shook his head "helplessly".

said lightly: "The first time I saw Li Fan, I had low self-esteem, this guy is so handsome, Li Fan comforted me when he saw this, and said: 'Brother, this is not your fault, your uncle and aunt should be fully responsible for this traffic accident, it is estimated that it is 'drunk driving', or 'fatigue driving'!"

This very connotative joke made the audience laugh, and Li Fan also laughed cooperatively, this joke was provided lightly when he was in the lounge, including many jokes in the back.

Faint: "I have small eyes, I have low self-esteem since I was a child, when I was a child, I was lying in the room watching TV series, my mother came over and thought I was asleep and turned off the TV, in order to hide the embarrassment, I had to symbolically snore twice!"

When I was in school, I listened carefully to every class, but the teacher's chalk head always flew in. I recently bought a car, and I took my girlfriend home a few nights ago, and on the way, my girlfriend suddenly pulled my clothes and said, 'Light, light, wake up!'

Some people say that my ugliness is all-round, but not just eyes, and then they recommended me to the beautiful Xiuxiu P map software.

"Tucao Conference" is so popular, after all, I have become a public figure, and I can't just post the pictures without retouching. So I opened the beautiful Xiuxiu, and used the one-click automatic P map function, and as a result, I looked at the finished product and found that my eyes were gone.

Then the product manager of Meixiu Xiuxiu called in person and said that it might be the APP that took my eyes off as a pimple!"

Treat your eyes as acne P, this paragraph can make people laugh for a whole year, the whole scene was joyful, the applause was non-stop, and Li Fan in the guest seat had a great sense of accomplishment, very good, and provided a faint burden of this burden!

"Since then, I've been looking forward to the collapse of this company every day!

It's not a way to be so ugly, my girlfriend decided to take me to plastic surgery, and the two of us came to the most famous plastic surgery hospital, but my girlfriend first became interested, and said: "I want to be like the female star Wu Feifei!" The doctor nodded, and then took out a photo of the diva Sun Feifei!

There is a story here, when Wu Feifei first debuted, she was accused by netizens of having plastic surgery according to the queen Sun Feifei, not only with a similar name, but also with a similar appearance.

Wu Feifei, who was in the guest seat, picked up the pillow behind her and made a gesture to throw it to the faint, smiled faintly, and then said: "The doctor asked me who I wanted to take again, I said Li Fan, and then asked the doctor again, saying: 'How much does it cost to have a whole nose?'

'20,000!'

'Where's the chin?'

'30,000!'

'What about cheekbones?'

'40,000!'

'What about the eyes?'

The doctor thought for a moment and asked me, 'Do you have a room in the city center?'

'Yes!'

'Is it the full amount?'

'Yes!'

The doctor nodded and said, "Optimistic estimate, it should be enough!"

When the audience laughed almost apart, he continued lightly: "In the end, my girlfriend has to become Wu Feifei...... Uh, no, Sun Feifei's appearance, I want to do what Li Fan wants, and just as the agreement was about to be signed, the doctor suddenly shouted: 'No, you are brothers and sisters!'

How can plastic surgeons also have the ability to look at faces and check genes?

The doctor said: 'A while ago, it was rumored on the Internet that Li Fan and Sun Feifei were brother and sister, and you all took care of others, isn't it sister and brother love?'

……

Okay, I'm faint, I hope you can understand my faint sadness, thank you!"

In a warm applause, he walked off the stage lightly, high-fived the guests and returned to his seat.

The next one is Chizi's stage complaining time.

Chizi tied a small pigtail, in fact, his eyes are not big, of course they are bigger than the faint one, but I didn't expect him to use the faint little eyes to open the shabu, "Hello everyone, I'm Chizi."

faintly obsessed with his own small eyes, I am here to persuade faint, big eyes have the trouble of big eyes, small eyes have the benefits of small eyes, for example, the smaller the eyes, the smaller the contact with the outside world, right?

What I want to complain about today is Li Fan in the audience!

Now everyone knows that Li Fanhuo is in a mess, a learning machine is out of stock on the whole network in half an hour, and the whole country is out of stock within a day offline, why?"

When Chizi said this, he faced Li Fan and said: "Aren't you the double champion of the idiom conference and the poetry conference, don't you have three world records, don't you just advocate a new examination of evidence, compared with the famous little fresh meat Wang Mu, what else do you have......? Yes...... Forget it, it doesn't matter!"

Wang Mu in the audience wiped his "tears".

"I've been researching it for the past few days, why can the products endorsed by Li Fan sell so well, what is the reason behind this, I also want to be popular, see if I can learn from it. So I summarized 4 points:

1. The product is good.

2, Li Fan is talented.

3. The listing time is Double Eleven.

4, Li Fan is handsome!

I don't want to succeed this time, let's find good products slowly, we are almost inseparable from talent, double eleven years and years, looks are ignored, I have three-quarters of Li Fan's advantage, even if I get back half of Li Fan's fame. But a woman told me that except for the fourth one, 'handsome', everything else doesn't matter. ”

All the women at the scene, including the female audience and the female choreographer, nodded their heads in approval.

"Look at you, eh, superficial!

The products endorsed by Li Fan are popular, and many celebrities are also greedy, and many traffic niches are also looking for agents, looking for companies for advertising, and resources, which is understandable, but some of the old and outdated celebrities What do you say you are mixed with? Don't look around, just you, Teacher Zheng Kaili!"

Teacher Zheng Kaili pointed at him, with an expression of "You kid has a kind, don't leave after school".

"Teacher Zheng Kaili has also found an agent, and she wants to fight for an endorsement contract, make money like other traffic students, and then make a new boyfriend, or she really has no money!"

The scene was a heart-warming laughter, everyone knows the story of Teacher Zheng Kaili, she is 50 years old this year, made a 28-year-old model, and was finally deceived by the model to "cheat sex", these days there has been a lot of uproar.

Chizi continued: "The agent thought about it, said that it was not impossible, and then made a list for Teacher Zheng Kaili: grandmother's non-slip shoes, multi-functional crutches, longevity oral liquid, duck down cotton pants......

Teacher Zheng Kaili quit at that time and shouted: 'I want to endorse this kind of thing, young people.' ’

However, Teacher Zheng Kaili, there is no middle-aged and elderly version of the learning machine, do you want to 'learn a foreign language'?"

Middle-aged and elderly people learn foreign languages, which is very easy to remind people of a popular TV series, Teacher Zheng Kaili laughed.

"To measure whether a person is a big star, this depends on how many contracts he carries, then Li Fan, you are obviously not good at this aspect, far inferior to other big names, such as Wu Feifei in the audience, food, clothing, housing and transportation do not cost money at all, let's take a look at Fei Fei now, from head to foot, it is all sponsor's products, let's count them now!"

Chizi pointed at Wu Feifei and counted down from his head: "Ling Mei's jewelry, Avalfei's watch, Olye's women's clothing, Ollie's shoes." Let's count it in, Tingmei-"

Wu Feifei hurriedly interrupted: "Don't don't, Chizi, don't count inside!"

……

In the burst of laughter, all the guests have finished complaining, and next, it is time to select the Talk-King.

The stars began to throw out their choices, and in the end, they became the Talk-King of this issue.

Walked lightly to the stage and said modestly: "It's a shame, in fact, the funniest ones in my manuscript were provided to me by Li Fan, he is definitely a three-way star across the literary world, the spit world, and the joke world!"

Li Fan hurriedly said: "No, no, it has nothing to do with me." ”

……

The current issue of "Tucao Conference" officially came to an end, and when the audience left, Dan and Chizi hurriedly bowed and apologized to Zheng Kaili and other stars.

"Teacher Kelly, I'm sorry, don't mind. ”

"It's okay, it's okay, work. ”

"Sister Feifei, I'm offended. ”

"Hey, I'm here to offend you!"

Li Fan also had to express his attitude to Teacher Zhang Gang, "Teacher Zhang Gang, I really like you, I have watched all your previous shows, it's so good." This show is without anyone, and you can't be without you. ”

Zhang Gang said with a smile: "The disgusting look in your eyes on the stage at that time was so realistic, I didn't believe it when you said it was pretending." It's a pity that you're not an actor, by the way, how about my previous job search show?"

Li Fan nodded affirmatively, "Very good, I like it very much, but I have always had a question, why didn't the job search and recruitment program recruit a suitable host?"

"Hey, you kid!"

Li Fan patted his head and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Zhang Gang, blame me for being too deep in the play." ”

Everyone gathered together while being polite, and after taking a group photo, they walked backstage one after another.

At this time, in the eyes of the two, Li Fan, who was sandwiched between the two, was definitely a king-level figure in the world of jokes.

In addition to Li Fan's own speech today, the few paragraphs that Li Fan provided them before the start of the show are really very good, they are all explosive points, and they admire Li Fan's "professionalism" very much.

Lightly: "Li Fan, you can become the strongest joker, there is no one!"

Chizi: "I absolutely agree with this, especially a few days ago, the article "Goodbye, Haze", that is the pinnacle that our joke world cannot surpass, let's talk about your method of creating jokes, and teach some experience to our joke world!"

Li Fan was actually accepted by the Duan Zijie with open arms, and he smiled: "I can't compare with you, you are professional, I am an amateur." ”

"No, no, no, you're the professional!"

"Now that I think about the joke of stir-frying, I still laugh so much that I cry, absolutely absolutely, cure all kinds of unhappiness!

Li Fan sighed and said, "What kind of creative ideas, it's all inspiration!"

He asked lightly: "Really, it's all about inspiration?"

Li Fan nodded, "Not really." ”

Chizi said: "Then you can show us your inspiration again." ”

Li Fan thought for a while and said, "Meat and vegetarian?"

"Eh, it's also classified, let's eat meat first. ”

Others also came over one after another, waiting for Li Fan to open the meat.

Li Fan picked on the joke in his previous life and said, "Let's have a half-star meat first." It is said that a young woman went to take out the garbage, accidentally slipped and fell in the garbage heap, and when she was about to get up, she was held in the arms of an old man who picked up the tatters, and the old man said with emotion: "People in the city just don't know how to live, and such a good daughter-in-law says don't want it." ’”

Everyone urged another one, Li Fan thought for a while, and said: "Shell Lang and mosquito fall in love, Shell Lang: 'What is your profession?' Mosquito: 'Nurse, what about you?' Shell Lang smiled: "Fate, peer, I am a Chinese medicine pill." ’”

Everyone laughed and continued to urge: "Let's get more!"

Li Fan said again: "The two corn kernels got married, and the next morning, the male corn kernels woke up and found popcorn lying next to him, and he asked strangely: 'Hey, who are you?

Popcorn said shyly: 'I hate it, you don't know people if you 'bang' them apart!"

What does it mean that there are old drivers who laugh heartily and others who keep scratching their heads?

Grabbing Li Fan's hand lightly and excitedly, he said, "You are the real master of the Duan Realm, another five-star full level!"

"Uh, this, ah, I don't dare to sweep Huang, teachers, seniors, I'm rushing back to school, we'll see you later. ”

Everyone looked at the background of Li Fan's departure, thinking that this guy is definitely the demon king of the cultural world!