094 There are many kinds of love
(Maopu Chinese) It was a new year, and Xiang Xi cried all the way from Guangzhou to Beijing because of Chen Zhi's ruthlessness.
And I, gradually mixed in the entertainment industry, I don't know what I'm running away, I just insisted on cutting off all the contact with people related to Si Chen.
I often hid, didn't care on the surface, secretly missed, sent him every broken thought, and then shed tears at the dialog box that never responded.
The only person who can find me is Qi Xiang, and I don't know why he has so much ability.
In his words, I have lived together for a long time, in fact, he can guess what I am going to do next in every move, I want to hide, he took the first step and said that he can help me find a house, I want to change my mobile phone number, he bought the latest model of mobile phone in advance and found someone to install a small program in it, here I change the phone card, he knows my new number.
"It's not a talent, it's a matter of whether you want to or not, whether you use it or not. Qi Xiang said.
Me: "So you're going to tell me you're very attentive to me?"
He laughed, "Why not? What more could you want?" ”
I also replied seriously: "I think when you find Si Chen, tell him that I think he is about to die." ”
Quickly cut through the mess, I just want Qi Xiang to give up the impossibility on me as soon as possible, of course, the sentence that Si Chen thinks about is about to die, it is also true.
In addition to the endless work, the focus of my life is completely a word search, I contacted everyone who might know Si Chen's whereabouts, took the paper and notes, analyzed them one by one and eliminated them one by one, and the new assistant in the company thought I was counting the winning numbers of the next lottery.
I played the piano played by Si Chen, hummed the tunes he wrote, and returned to the beach where we eloped that year, watching the tide rise and fall, sighing and scattering.
The TV station shows a documentary, which is a story about discs.
The protagonist of the interview is a young man in his twenties, talking about his high school band, slowly running scissors through the CD, and chatting about fruit or something from time to time.
A disc, he repaired for about ten minutes.
I shook my head, no.
I think of Si Chen's small appearance when he used to repair discs, handsome almost every girl can fall in love with him immediately, slender fingers, the disc that turns quickly in his hand, the lighter burns quickly, and every place that passes through is so smooth that there is almost no trace.
At that time, on the weekend, Si Chen and I would go to the street where the discs were sold to listen to the songs, in order to let me hear what I wanted to hear, Si Chen helped the boss repair the discs, and after someone bought it and paid for it, Si Chen helped repair it, and even some people who didn't listen to the discs also bought one for him to repair because they were curious about what Si Chen was doing, among them, there were some little girls.
At that time, I was proud and happy, although those momentary happiness did not leave much imprint, but this is enough, I really can't forget it.
Later, the mouth became a kind of culture, and then everyone had the money to buy the original, and then the people who bought the mouth were just for the collection, just like the collection of those wrong coins, not many people would specifically repair the disc, as if the loss of the traces of the eye-piercing so-called mouth disc is meaningless.
Feelings, how can it not be like this, I think Si Chen is the eye that hit me, it will be missing, it will hurt, but I don't allow anyone to fix it.
Because that eye is the mark of my life, and if I lose it, I have nothing.
I moved again in the middle of the year, and when my assistant helped me organize my things, he joked that my collection of discs would cover the whole house with local bricks.
I smiled, and that's not all.
A small part of it was mine and Si Chen gave it to me, and more of it was left by Si Chen, and his piano was also left. It could be that he won't be able to take so many things with him when he leaves, or maybe he will come back.
I'm more inclined to the latter.
In the eyes of strangers, I am cold, withdrawn, and sharp, and it seems that I have the words "do not approach" engraved on my body. It's just that this "unique" temperament makes me really popular.
The black material in high school is also constantly being turned out, early love, elopement, and the second generation of the rich and rich, in the eyes of those who like it, such a negative experience has also become a punk spirit in their eyes.
Jiang Hao said about this: There is no reason.
And I've taken it lightly, to put it mildly, I'm making music with my heart right now, and in some ways I've sacrificed my love for this path, so it's impossible to give up on myself for the opportunity to pay a painful price.
Fame is getting bigger and bigger, and I believe that Si Chen will also hear my songs in the United States.
The habit of talking to himself to his QQ every day has never changed.
Qi Xiang learned how to repair discs from a boss who had sold them, and then used his "special relationship" with me to trick the key to my house from the assistant, sneaked in and spent three days and two nights repairing all the discs in my collection that Si Chen had not had time to repair before.
I came back from the field propaganda and saw it, crying and shouting, "Why did you do that!"
Qi Xiang was very calm, "Don't you just like to repair these discs?"
"No, what I like is Si Chenxiu's, and it's not the same at all now. ”
"What's the difference. He asked rhetorically, "Isn't it good if you are happy?" Why does it have to be him? ”
"There is no why. ”
Qi Xiang stepped forward, his hands pressed my shoulders and forced me into the corner, his fingers picked at my neckline and pulled it slightly to tear, watching him gradually approach, I felt the danger.
Lips to lips, in fact, we kissed, when we first met and were still young and ignorant.
At that time, Qi Xiang was strong and unreasonable, and he was a scumbag, but he was a scumbag, and he liked it for a while.
But why I liked him in the first place, I don't understand.
"Because the pain is more profound, the more tired you love, the more you pay, the more reluctant you are to give up, too easy to get, few people will know to cherish, and even until you lose it, you don't feel it. ”
I was stunned, because the pain was profound......
"But pain is not inevitable, when I was in love in the UK, you also had unhappy times, I ignore you, you won't feel it at all, I went to the United States, you must have been sad, right?"
Qi Xiang sighed, "I once thought about forcing you to care about me in that way, even though I knew that process was a disservice to you. ”
"Later, I gave up, I don't want to torture you to death in love, because I am already like this, in the process of trying to force you to fall in love with me, the last step by step deeper is actually myself. Maybe I can force you to accept me with a little force, but at that time, I was really reluctant. ”
"As a result, you returned to Si Chen's side, and you willingly offered your hands, and the resurgence of an old love can really quickly make you ignore everything I have carefully managed. At that time, I thought, just watch, I don't want to make you sad. ”
Qi Xiang picked up the repaired disc, pricked an eye on it with a hole punch, and then the second and third, until the whole disc was unrecognizable.
"If you want love so deeply that you love to death, I can give it to you, but I don't want to. Do you think it's easy to leave one mark after another on this disc, or is it easy to keep it at its best forever? Love can come in many forms, it doesn't have to be vigorous, and simple happiness is more difficult than those who love and kill each other to live. ”
"Let's talk about it a little more vulgarly, Xiangxiang, the love I want to give you is that I hope that one day there will be a natural disaster**, when I have to leave you, you will feel happy and happy when you think of it, and there will be a person who has the courage to be strong and happy, instead of being like this first, unable to live. ”
Qi Xiang still didn't kiss me after all, even though we were very close, although the smell of his breath would feel familiar to me.
My quilt was leaning against the wall, listening to Qi Xiang say this at a distance of less than ten centimeters.
Maybe I'll understand, maybe I won't, but for now, I'll push him away and care about my discs.
After Qi Xiang left, I packed up the disc and the tools for repairing the disc alone, but I couldn't clean up my mood all the time. Turning on the computer, I said to Si Chen: "If you ignore me again, someone else will chase me." ”
After thinking about it, I still deleted this sentence and typed it again, "The visa for the United States has been completed, and the company has arranged for me to hold a national tour during the summer vacation, but I decided to go to you." Do you remember that agreement between us: If you make an unforgivable mistake, you will go to each other's concerts, and as long as I see you, I will forgive you. ”
I'm afraid I won't be able to wait for him, and I won't dare to hold a concert.
I have my entertainment industry, Qi Xiang also has his circle, in the past two years after returning to China, he has also achieved good results in his own circle, and he is an outstanding young architect known to many people.
When he first returned to China, Qi Xiang said that maybe it would be a two-year internship, and then go back to the UK to continue the previous course, but after two years, he didn't seem to have any plans to leave, just gave up everything in Beijing again and moved to S City to set up his own studio.
My mother also likes Qi Xiang, and she has liked it so much since a long time ago.
As for Qi Xiang, he said: "I also like to be with my aunt, she is actually very similar to my mother. ”
He invaded my life in all aspects, and I could not do anything about it, and my heart still rejected all outsiders without a strong wall.
Finally, I waited for the summer vacation, and although the vacation was only half a month, I still booked a ticket and prepared to leave.
Before boarding, I used all the means I could have to contact Si Chen to inform him of my flight, arrival time and airport.
Si Chen, will you come to borrow me?
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