I didn't dare to ask Gu Yixiao what his illness was, so I could only look at him fixedly, hoping that he would say it, but also hoping that he would not say it. Because as long as he doesn't say it, I won't know that it can be regarded as a dream.

"Leukemia. Gu Yi stared at me and said.

My head buzzed, and my heart sank to the bottom.

"No way. I was stunned for a moment, and immediately retorted, "There are some symptoms in the early stage of leukemia, such as fever, such as pain in the limbs, for example, the wound is not easy to coagulate......

"Maybe it's been a long time coming, but you haven't noticed. In addition, I asked the doctor, and he said that a considerable number of people have no symptoms and are directly confirmed to have leukemia. This time, the injury of the bean bag being hit by the car was not very serious, and the reason why he woke up so slowly was because of excessive blood loss. You have been a little delirious these days, and you probably didn't know that Doubao had almost replaced all the blood on your body during this operation, and the blood bank was in a hurry during the rescue, and the blood bank was transferred from the city center twice......" Gu Yixiao stared at me and said seriously, "Tao Ran, this is a fact." ”

I sat down on the floor.

At this moment, like an ordinary mother, my psychological defense line completely collapsed.

My bean bag, actually got this disease?!

In the ICU, he didn't know about it, and lay helpless like that. I looked at the sleeping bean bag, his face was as white as paper and he was covered in tubes......

At this moment, no matter how strong I usually was, tears flowed uncontrollably.

How can this be, why is God so unfair? Doubao's life has just begun, he has not done anything, why did he get such a disease?

I stood there and cried for a long time, until Luo Xiaotian put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Tao Ran, now you can't fall down, you still have to treat the child." ”

I felt that my body was fluttering, so I turned my head to look at him and asked, "How can I cure this disease?" I can only change the bone marrow, how difficult is it to match? Some people can't control it in the end and don't wait for the matching bone marrow? How can I cure it? I just hold the money now, and I can't find a way. ”

Luo Xiaotian gave me a hard hug and said, "I understand, I know, I'll think of a way again." ”

At this time, what am I going to do? Who told me what I was going to do? If I could, I would be willing to trade my life for bean bags, but it was impossible.

Bean Bao woke up and opened his eyes to find me. Stand in the position closest to him so that he can see me.

When he saw me, he smiled weakly and opened his mouth not knowing what to say.

Tears came back to my eyes.

I could see that what he said was, Mom, I'm fine.

How can it be okay?

Maybe I shouldn't have any extravagant love or marriage after the divorce, as long as I get the children right.

I got the company, I got the money, I got the shares, I got the love, and I got rid of the scumbag. I thought I had succeeded and got everything I wanted. However, I did not expect that I would lose my child. If it's an exchange, I'd rather not have everything now.

What exactly is success, I suddenly don't have a standard now.

Bean Bao fell asleep for a long time, and the doctor said it was he recovering. However, the excessive blood loss caused by this car accident made his body weaken suddenly. If he hadn't been in a car accident and hadn't shed so much blood, he might have been able to hold out for a long time, but the current situation is not optimistic.

I didn't dare to ask, but I had to ask, "How long can the child wait?"

The doctor sighed and said, "With the best medicine, the best medical equipment, it's only been more than a year." However, he will be very weak and miserable. ”

He wanted to say something, but he didn't say it.

I can guess what he's trying to say, which is that the chances of a cure are slim.

However, in the end, he smiled again and said: "If the right bone marrow can be matched, the operation fee will be about more than 700,000 yuan, and after the bone marrow is replaced, the child will be the same as a normal person." ”

"Thank you. I said.

I have submitted the application for matching bone marrow, and I hope that God will favor me and let Doubao find the right bone marrow as soon as possible.

I came out of the doctor's office and bumped into a person, it was Si Jianlian.

He looked at me with a grim face and didn't say a word.

Originally, I felt no guilt in the face of him, but today is different. I didn't dare look him in the eye.

"Tao Ran, this is you! You have a child, how could you let him get leukemia? Don't you know that this disease is basically incurable? Bone marrow matching, how can it be so simple?" he asked me, in a loud voice.

I can't argue with a word.

"How could a good child have such a terminal illness in your hands!" he said angrily.

It was the first time I had been scolded by him like this, and it was also the first time that I was speechless in the face of his questioning. We all know that it's not my fault, but Doubao is indeed sick around me, and he said I can only listen. If he says it so badly, it can make the child feel better, and I can feel a little more comfortable.

Listening to Si Jianlian's words, I suddenly cried, the kind that broke down and cried.

"You ......" Si Jianlian was so crying that I couldn't speak.

"Si Jianlian, what are you doing!" Gu Yixiao ran over from a distance, took me into his arms, and said to Si Jianlian, "She is uncomfortable enough now, you still say this, she is the child's own mother, how could she be willing to let the child get such an illness." You're talking, it's too much!"

Si Jianlian glanced at him gloomily and said, "Who knows if you are going to get married, and you think that the child is in the way, and deliberately torture the child like this." ”

"Si Jianlian, what you say is heartbroken. Gu Yi said with a smile.

I listened to the two of them talking, and felt a great headache, so I pushed Gu Yixiao away and put my arm around me and walked directly outside.

"Tao Ran. Gu Yi smiled and shouted.

I didn't answer him, I didn't look back, I walked out of the floor and into the elevator. When the elevator door closed, I saw Si Jianlian and Gu Yixiao talking about something.

I don't care about that, I just want my bean bags to be healthy.

I went outside the ICU and saw Luo Xiaotian and Tian Qingqing, and he asked the doctor what he said about the child's condition. After I said briefly, I said: "These days, please ask my dad to help take care of the child, I will go to do a bone marrow match tomorrow, and the doctor said that it is possible for the immediate family to be matched." ”

"Okay, I'll make one too. Luo Xiaotian said.

"No, you're so old. "I was busy refusing.

Luo Xiaotian patted me on the shoulder and said, "It's because I'm old and I've lived enough, if mine can match, it's the best." ”

I was about to open my mouth to persuade him, but he interrupted me again: "You go first, I'll go tomorrow." ”

I hummed and leaned against the wall, physically and mentally exhausted.

I thought about a lot of possibilities, and finally when I thought of Si Jianlian, my eyes lit up. If Si Jianlian's youngest son has umbilical cord blood, what if the blood type of the half-brothers can match?

Thinking of this, I suddenly got a little excited, and I didn't have time to think about it, so I called Si Jianlian.

"Are you convenient now, I want to talk to you. "I said it directly.

Si Jianlian was stunned on the phone: "Talk to me, what are you talking about?"

"About the disease of bean bags. I said calmly.

Si Jianlian hesitated a little on the phone and said, "Okay, where are you?"

"On the edge of the flower bed downstairs in the hospital. "I sent him a location after I finished speaking.

About ten minutes later, Si Jianlian came to me and said, "Tell me, what's the matter?"

"Doubao's illness, you are also very anxious, I know. I said.

He cut off: "Nonsense, this is my own son, can I not be in a hurry?"

"Now the doctor recommends that the first step is to start matching the bone marrow of the immediate family member, and I will do the matching right away, but just in case, I want to discuss with you if you can do one as well. I asked.

"Don't worry about this, as long as mine can match, I will definitely use it for my children. He paused and said, "I can go with you." ”

"Thank you. "I breathed a sigh of relief.

"What time did you make an appointment with the doctor, and can you match the two at the same time?" he asked.

I told him the time and place, then hesitated and asked, "Another way is to use the child's cord blood." When Doubao was born, the cord blood preservation business was not mature, and we didn't keep it. Now it's a very common mature technology, did you keep it when your youngest son was born?"

Si Jianlian thought for a while and said, "There should have been a retention at that time." ”

"Can you make a cord blood match?" I asked again.

He hesitated for a moment and said, "It's no problem for me to promise you, but I need to discuss it with Sheng Qingjin." ”

"I'm sorry for you. I was reassured and bowed to him.

He smiled bitterly and said, "Qingjin and you have a very unpleasant quarrel, I'll try to convince her." ”

"Thank you. I said solemnly.

The next day, almost all of us went to do the bone marrow matching, and then came back and waited for the results, which took about seven days.

For seven days, every day was an ordeal.

On the eighth day, on a Monday, the doctor called me into his office, took out a matching report and said, "Every time I see this outcome, I don't know how to inform the parents of the sick child." ”

As soon as he said that, I knew it was bad.

However, there is something to look forward to.

"None of you can match it. The doctor looked at me and said slowly.

I closed my eyes, and tears flowed out of my eyes. It was a long time before I asked, "Is there any other way?"

"The rest is what I've said before, waiting for strangers to match. The doctor said.

"Is there a way to wait?" I asked again.

"There is also the fact that you and your husband have another child, but the child born may not be 100% matched. There are many parents doing this kind of thing, and the matching is about half and half. The doctor said.

"So that means there's at least a fifty percent chance of it?" I asked.

"Yes. However, some parents are matched after only one child, and some parents are not matched after giving birth to two. Do you understand what I mean?" he asked.

I nodded.

His meaning is obvious, that is, whether the child you give birth to can match or not depends on fate. When I think of Si Jianlian, Sheng Qingjin, and having a child with him, I can't help but burst into tears.

However, after crying, I still had to pretend to be okay and call Si Jianlian: "The results are out, and we can't match." Now, can I meet you? ”

He knew that what I was about to talk about umbilical cord blood was about umbilical cord blood, so he hesitated and said, "Tao Ran, Qingjin disagrees. She said that this was reserved for her children just in case. I really can't persuade her. You also know that I am standing in this position, both sides are biological, who do you want me to help and who not to help?"

I couldn't say a word, said thank you, and hung up.

I ran outside and walked for a long time on the noon-day deserted streets. When the sun made me almost faint, I made a decision to have another IVF with Si Jian to save the bean bag.

At this time, not to mention the 50% chance, even the 1% chance, I will try it too.

Thinking of this, I looked at where I was and found that it was already far from the hospital, and before I knew it, I was walking in the direction of the company.

I glanced at the map and it wasn't very far from the company. So, I called Si Jianlian and made an appointment to come out to talk, and the location was in the café downstairs of the company.

I walked a long way, my feet hurt, and I took a car and rushed over.

After waiting for half an hour, Si Jianlian arrived.

He glanced at me, then looked at the café and said, "In the past, we used to work late and we would often have a cup of coffee here before leaving, but now it's really rare to think about it." I'm also very happy, and I don't want to say anything wrong now. However, I really want to say that it is not easy to start a family, but it is okay and cherished. ”

"I'm looking for you for something. "I mean it.

Si Jianlian looked up at me and asked, "What's the matter?"

"I want to have another child with you, and then use it to save bean bags. I said.

Si Jianlian was stunned, and immediately said, "Impossible, I'm married now." In my marriage to you, I was a scumbag once, and this time I don't want to make the same mistake again. ”

"IVF doesn't need to have any physical contact. I said.

He hesitated.

His words just now made me quite touched, it turns out that good men are educated step by step by life. It's a pity that the person who enjoys the results in the end is definitely not the one who educates him with life.

When I think about it, I am really lost and sad. If he had realized this earlier, our marriage would not have reached the point of divorce.

After five or six minutes, he looked up and said, "I agree, but Qingjin may not agree." I need to discuss this with her. ”

At this moment, I suddenly became a little envious of Sheng Qingjin, Si Jian was not even a man who reported everything, but now he suddenly changed his sex.

A bitter smile hung on my face, but I had to say, "Okay, you go and discuss, but as soon as possible." ”

Si Jianlian nodded, pointed to the building above his head and said, "This is a testimony of our past, since I left Beijing, I have avoided coming back." I also know that some of my recent actions have been particularly incomprehensible to you. But, by the time you get to my point, you'll understand. A penny can really kill people. ”

I smiled at him and found no opinion.

After sending Si Jianlian away, I didn't even have the strength to stand up. After sitting in the café for a long, long time, my heart finally calmed down.

Now, I have no choice but to go.

Si Jianlian should be able to save the bean bag, but what about Sheng Qingjin? I don't think too badly of others, but every woman is selfish, who would want their man to have children with other women?

Gu Yixiao's phone chased after him, and he asked anxiously on the phone: "Tao Ran, where are you, I also know the results of the bone marrow match, but I can't see your people, where are you, don't scare me, okay?"

I smiled weakly: "I won't scare you, now Doubao is still waiting for me to save it, if you want to die, it will be after Doubao's illness is completely hopeless." ”

"Then where are you, I'm going to pick you up. Gu Yi said with a smile.

"How's the bean bag? are you feeling better now?" I asked.

"Very good, the doctor checked his condition and said that he can be out of the ICU tomorrow, and the next step is conservative treatment while waiting for the matching bone marrow. Gu Yi said with a smile.

"I'm a little tired, now find a quiet place to rest, you don't have to look for me, I'll be back in two hours. I said to him.

What else he wanted to say, I had already hung up.

Gu Yixiao was more sensible, he heard me say that he wanted to be quiet, so he didn't call again. I sat in the café for a long time, and I didn't get up until the sun went down.

Now I don't have to keep the bean bag every day, because not only is it useless to keep it, but it will also affect the bean bag because of my low mood.

I basically didn't eat a meal a day during this period, and when I was in a roadside street boutique, I saw my own reflection in the glass, yellow, thin, haggard, simple and ugly.

"No, you have to eat well, otherwise the child born will not be healthy. I said to my old self and straightened up.

There were many restaurants on the side of the road, so I walked into one casually, ordered food, and tried to eat it.

It's just that while eating, I burst into tears.

When Gu Yixiao found me, it was already ten o'clock at night, he hugged me and said, "Tao Ran, I know you are sad, you feel that there is no hope in life, but you must persevere." ”

I looked up at him and held on, those four words are easy to say, but really hard to do. I don't even know what I'm so strong for? If life is all pain, why should I persevere? Shouldn't I give up everything and die?

Gu Yixiao hugged me and didn't let go.

I felt a moment of peace of mind in his arms, but in a blink of an eye, I thought of the bean bag, and then gently pushed him and said, "Gu Yixiao, let's really break up this time." ”

He shook my body, grabbed me by the shoulder, pushed me away and asked, "Why? I need me at this time." No matter what happens, I'll always be there for you. ”

"I know you're going to do it, and I know you're determined, but I don't want to go on. I looked at him and said, "I feel tired of any effort now, and it's not easy for me to take care of my children and myself." ”

"I don't need you to pay, I'll take care of your bean bags. He said.

"No, I want to waste my time on anyone. I looked at him and said cruelly.

Gu Yi smiled in disbelief: "Tao Ran, what are you talking about?" I don't care what you say, I won't leave you, especially now." ”

"That's good. I looked at him and said gently, "I want to have another child with Si Jianlian to save the bean bag." ”

He immediately understood what I meant, and asked rhetorically with a look of disbelief: "The probability of this kind of match is not 100%, what if one can't match?"

"Then I'll have another one. I said.

"Is the second one still not working?" he asked again.

"There's a third one. I said abruptly.

"Tao Ran, you're going crazy. There is no longer any affection between you and Si Jianlian, how can you have a child? I will find a way to match the bone marrow, but I don't agree with you and Si Jianlian having a child. ”

"What can you think of? Now apart from waiting, it can only be me and Si Jianlian to have another child the fastest. You can't persuade me to do this, as long as there is any possibility, I will do it. I looked at Gu Yixiao, didn't give an inch, paused, and continued, "So, now, the best ending is for me to break up with you." You forget me and start a new life. You still have a long life ahead of you, and everything can start over. What you don't know is that after a woman has a child, there are a lot fewer possibilities in life. I always thought I was the one who was different. Looking at it now, in fact, I'm just an ordinary housewife like everyone else, revolving around my children all my life. Even if I have a company and status, my children are still my everything. In this life, if there is a regret between me and you, it can only be said that who let us not meet earlier, and who made us so many years apart. "I can't say any more when I say this.

My decision made Gu Yixiao very sad, he looked at me, his eyes were full of sadness, but he couldn't speak.

In order not to let him have any more illusions, I hardened my heart and continued: "Actually, now that I think about it, if Si Jianlian had been replaced by you, we might not have divorced. Marriage is more boring than you think, it takes thousands of days to be together every day, and there is nothing to say except for children and trivial matters in life. Because it's too cooked. Now, I don't think the divorce is Si Jianlian's fault, nor is it my fault. It's probably the fault of life. Time is like a knife, life is like a pig, it depends on how you howl......"

Gu Yixiao still stared at me like that.

I turned away from him and said, "So, that's all we have to do." I don't have a choice but that. If you put yourself in my shoes, you'd do the same. ”

When the words came out of my mouth, my heart was full of pain. However, in the face of this kind of thing, what should I choose!