Chinese My mom didn't say anything, she didn't do anything, the speed was very slow, I wanted to get out of the car at any time, and there would be no danger.

In the end, I gave up on the idea myself.

I said to myself that whether Si Chen was drenched in the rain or not, whether he was sick or not, whether the old injury would recur or not had nothing to do with me, and then desperately thought about his badness, and by the way, he also counted his mother's share.

In the end, I still hate Si Chen, sometimes I think it's naïve to hate someone, but I really hate him.

In those most depressed days in the UK, I thought that Si Chen, who had deceived me, would also be deceived by another person, and I thought that he would also be bruised and hurt one day, and when I knew that he was injured in my arm to save me, I missed the college entrance examination and missed the number one conservatory in China, on the one hand, I felt heartache, and on the other hand, I sneered in my heart.

I felt like I was going to be pulled into two extremes, I wanted to get out of the shadow he gave me and start over, I wanted to see him suffer as much as I used to be, and I wanted to see him regret it.

even wanted to give him a chance and hope, and then refused fiercely.

Probably, I'm going crazy too.

The car stopped at the red street light intersection in front of the community, and Si Chen also came out of the community, without an umbrella, his left hand held his right hand that he couldn't use his strength and walked quickly past the car, the whole person was soaked, and he couldn't stop the car like this.

When he changed the light, he lowered his head and walked along the zebra crossing to the opposite side of the road, and a sports car ran a red light horizontally, and hit Si Chen only twenty centimeters away. I stared nervously in that direction, only to see him still walking forward with a blank face.

I suddenly had a little difficulty breathing.

On Chinese New Year's Eve, my mother made a large table of dishes, and I was pulled over by her to help, and when washing the dishes, my mother said that the last time she prepared such a rich Chinese New Year's Eve dinner was in the first year of marriage with my father.

I was born the next year, and my mother was still in confinement, and my father went to Beijing with someone.

Later, my dad came home several times a year, and the time at home added up to less than a month, and once my mom cried and begged him to stay, and said that she would take me with him when I was older.

My dad stayed at home for half a year and ran away again the night before Chinese New Year's Eve.

The last time I saw him was on TV on Chinese New Year's Eve that year, with a guitar on his back and long hair, looking very poor.

Two years later, my grandparents passed away one after another, and I was in elementary school, and when my mother no longer had any burden, she finally figured out that she would no longer chase that irresponsible man, and sued for divorce alone with evidence of separation for two years.

Now that I'm older, I gradually understand why my mother loved me very much when I was a child, and when she was angry, she scolded and scolded her, not because she didn't want to care about me, but because she was afraid to go back to the home my dad left behind.

Then my mom said, "Do you know why I didn't sue that woman in the first place?"

After thinking about it, I realized that my mother was referring to Si Chen's mother.

I shook my head, "Because of Si Datong?"

"When I first met him, I knew he had an illegitimate child. ”

"Stupid or not?"

I know that I have to marry an unreliable man, and I have to go to the second time if I have been in the case once, no matter how I think this is not a stupid thing that my mother usually does, and maybe, women will be dizzy when they meet love.

But my mom's focus wasn't on whether she was stupid or not.

She said: "The first time I saw Si Chen was when his mother asked him to go to the company to take Si Datong back for dinner, and that day was Si Chen's birthday. ”

"Didn't go?"

My mother nodded, "They broke up before Si Chen was born, and the child was born to Si Chen's mother without Si Datong's knowledge, and he never took care of their mother and son except for regular alimony." ”

"People zha. I said through gritted teeth.

Although I have a bad impression of Si Datong, what makes me more concerned is that my mother will like someone like him. Of course, Si Chen's mother also suffered by herself.

At that time, the child was fourteen or fifteen years old, and he was in the office with his father, and his father said that he would not go, so he knelt down and begged, saying that his mother said that he could not take Si Datong back, and she committed suicide. At that time, I had just entered that company, and I was not familiar with Si Datong, I went to deliver documents after work, I didn't know that others were still there, I knocked on the door and went in, and as soon as I entered, I saw Si Chen kneeling on the ground. At that time, I also thought that this man was too much, but Si Datong still didn't agree to go, and gave me the car keys to send Si Chen home. I chased out and reasoned with Si Datong, and he told me that if Si Chen's mother really committed suicide, she would have died hundreds of times, only Si Chen didn't dare to take risks even if he didn't believe it, and he knew that there was no result to try. If Si Datong relented, Si Chen's mother would force Si Chen to come even harder next time, and when Si Chen was still young, his mother deliberately made Si Chen sick and injured in order to see Si Datong. I didn't believe it at the time, I stood downstairs for a while when I sent Si Chen home, and then I saw the windows of more than a dozen floors open, I really thought she was going to commit suicide, but it turned out that a schoolbag was thrown down, and when Si Chen ran down to pick it up, there was a palm print on his face, and there was blood at the corner of his mouth. ”

What a madman, now I think that Si Chen's mother is definitely not crazy after Si Datong and my mother got married, she has always been abnormal.

My mother continued: "I haven't seen the child since then, and then once Si Datong asked me to help transfer his friend's child to S City, that is, Qi Xiang, Qi Xiang I haven't seen, but every time Si Datong wants to know Si Chen's situation, he calls Qi Xiang's child, I thought that the two of them are good friends, so I asked Si Datong if I want to transfer Si Chen to the school together." At that time, I wasn't with Si Datong, so I couldn't imagine if you and Si Chen would know each other, and if something else would happen. Let Si Chen transfer to his mother agree, because it is with Qi Xiang, she thinks that Si Datong finally values this son, Si Chen has been forced to study by her since he was a child, and he will be beaten and scolded if he can't get the first place in the exam, and he will learn feelings to let Si Datong know that this son will not embarrass him. I asked Si Chen to transfer school completely because I felt sorry for him, and I thought of you when I saw him being beaten by his mother, I am already irresponsible enough to be a mother, but Si Chen has faced more than you since he was a child. Si Datong told me everything about Si Chen, in fact, he had long wanted Si Chen and Qi Xiang to go abroad together, but Si Chen's mother also knew about those things later, and he said that he wanted to take care of his mother, so he didn't agree to go abroad. Whether it's me or Si Datong, it was all because of Si Chen who let go of that woman in the first place. Actually, I regret it too, maybe it's better for Si Chen to let her go to jail. ”

I asked my mother, "What's the point of telling me this?"

"I don't say this to help Si Chen speak, let alone let you be together. Even Qi Xiang doesn't approve of you being with Si Chen, it's not that Qi Xiang is selfish, it's that we all understand that you and Si Chen can't be happy together, as long as the is still a day, he can't get out of the shadows in this life, and he lives like a time bomb by his side. But I also hope that you can understand him and let go of yourself. ”

I don't understand, "What do you mean?"

My mom pulled a crumpled stack of paper out of a drawer and placed it in front of me.

Each one is full of Si Chen's name, and some of the handwriting is still fainted by the water, those water are my tears, I often have nightmares after seeing Si Chen that day, dreaming that when we first met, I dreamed of singing together and watching movies together. And the end of every dream is that he turns around coldly and goes farther and farther.

I hated him, and kept writing his name on the paper, crying as I wrote, and finally tore the whole paper apart.

Like now, when my mom takes out these papers, I can't help crying.

It's so painful, it's so difficult to deceive people, not only can I not fool myself, but my mother also found out.

I cried and asked my mother, "Shouldn't I come back, shouldn't I be like this if I haven't seen him?" ”

My mom wiped my tears with a tissue, "No one can say this, maybe you should make this issue formal, otherwise even if you hide from him for the rest of your life, you will just run away, Mom hopes you can really let go." I should also say sorry to you, I, as a mother, also owe you a lot, so that you haven't felt loved since you were a child. ”

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