I trembled with anger, and the fire flew directly to the top of my head, where I could still suppress it.

Pei Zile probably didn't expect me to suddenly erupt, he was a little caught off guard, and looked at me in a daze without refuting.

I was angry, but I couldn't hold it back, and I didn't care who was standing opposite, and shouted, "You all feel justified and feel that I am doing anything wrong, but any of you have considered me from my standpoint." My parents are like this, Pei Shaobei is like this, and even you Pei Zile are like this. Why, why are you bullying me, what do I owe to you?"

I felt that it was a great shame to cry in front of someone who was much younger than me and was my own student, but now I could no longer maintain the elder frame that I usually held, and I became entangled like a shrew. I knew in my heart that this was very wrong and humiliating, but I had nowhere to vent.

"Lin Dong met my parents in the hospital, is this something I could have predicted? Is it something I can control? I was also caught off guard by the sudden change of my parents, but who can I tell me, with Pei Shaobei or with you? You will all look at me with strange eyes, as if I took the initiative to seduce and provoke. I don't care about the eyes of my neighbors, I don't care about the gossip in the community, and I don't even care about the lilies where I work, but I care about the people I care about, I don't want to let my life except deception is deception, I don't want my life to be nothing but harm is misunderstanding, I try my best to maintain it, but why, why does it become vexatious and cowardly in your mouth. ”

Tears slid down his eyes, and he couldn't stop it.

Pei Zile tried to reach out to comfort, but I refused indifferently, I turned around and left, but my arm was pulled by a strong force, my body was unstable, and I crashed directly into Pei Zile's arms.

Thin, with the unique clean smell of youth, I don't feel stable, but it seems to go back to many years ago, the illusion that I think I have found a reliance, and the resistance to the central force of reality explode in my mind at the same time, I want to get rid of it like crazy, and struggle with my hands and feet.

Pei Zile's strength was unusually great, no matter how I broke free, his arms were strangled by my waist, and in the end, I couldn't stand up like I was out of strength, and I was half-dragged and hugged by him.

"It's good to vent out, it's okay, it's okay!" Pei Zile whispered like a child, and even patted the back of his hand behind me gently. I felt desolate in my heart, and I felt that I had really failed to come to this point in life.

"Pei Zile, let me go, I'm tired!"

This bosom is not mine, and I don't want to covet it. I know my feelings for Pei Zile very well, he is my student, my brother, my friend, but he can never replace anyone.

Pei Zile shook his head a little stubbornly, "Gu Wan, I'm not questioning you, I'm sorry for you! Don't always treat me as a child, I'm already nineteen years old, and I will have my 20th birthday in a month." I know what I'm doing, and I know what you're doing. I know better than you what kind of character my brother is, and I know what kind of life he wants. I'm still saying that he's not for you. Don't refute it yet, listen to what I've to say!"

Pei Zile seemed to feel my struggle again, and used his strength to confine me in his arms, and his voice was surprisingly calm.

"I'll admit, my brother gave you a sense of security, and no one can replace that. However, you also have to admit that both love and marriage need a foundation of equal treatment. Let's not talk about my brother's attitude, let's just talk about you, have you achieved equality in this relationship? No, Gu Wan, don't deceive yourself. You simply can't adjust your mindset to the same level as my brother. You have low self-esteem, pride, and even self-pity. You look at my brother in a posture of looking up, and you feel that he can help you carry it when the sky falls. But is this the life you want? Gu Wan, is this the marriage you want? Do you have to go through the same thing as serving your ex-husband's family again before you realize your mistake? Haven't you had enough pain?"

I am speechless about Pei Zile's words.

Sometimes, I have to admit that Pei Zile seems to have become another me, seeing clearly the darkness in my heart, where even Pei Shaobei has not paid attention. Perhaps, it is also because he and I have the same lonely soul, the same soul that longs for companionship and warmth, in some places, it is strikingly similar.

Although I am reluctant to express this complex feeling, it is there and it is impossible to ignore it. Even in the depths of my heart, I am so eager to say the filthy and lowly in my own heart through the mouths of others, as if this way I can immediately refute and deny, as if only in this way can I refuse to admit myself like that, and still maintain my own self-control.

I smiled bitterly, my eyes were dry, but I couldn't shed a single tear.

"Pei Zile, I'm in pain, you don't know, how much I hurt! But life is not what you and I imagined, you can do anything according to your heart. I have parents to take care of, I have children to take care of, I have a job to do, and I have a social group to adapt to. I can't do that, free!"

I collapsed from Pei Zile's arms in frustration, but this time Pei Zile didn't resist anymore and helped me sit back on the chair.

I held my head in my hands, my fingers in my hair, and my heart tightened.

"Why can't you be so free!You can choose, no one can force you, as long as you want!" Pei Zile's voice was bewitching and excited, but I felt extremely sad when I listened to it.

yes, no one can force you. No matter how this society changes, as long as your will is strong, it is difficult for external factors to force a person to do something. But the premise is that your heart must be hard enough to abandon those blood relatives who are entangled with you, and you can abandon everything you have now.

That kind of courage is not something that everyone can do. At the end of the day, the only one who forces yourself is the one who weighs the pros and cons before making a decision.

"If these words had been ten years ago, maybe I would have clapped my hands in agreement. At that time, like you now, I also had such a dream of freedom. However, I am not the same person I was ten years ago, Pei Zile, I am old and can't move anymore!"

I raised my eyes to look at Pei Zile, and I saw disappointment and anger in his eyes.

"Why do you have to emphasize age every time, the freedom of the mind has nothing to do with age, it depends on whether you want to or not?" Pei Zile was extremely excited, his feet walked back and forth in front of me, his fists clenched tightly, like a small universe that would explode at any time.

"I'm reluctant, Pei Zile, I'm reluctant!" I looked at him, feeling a kind of decadence that broke the jar, and even wanted to say all the thoughts in my heart, without reservations.

"Reluctant, reluctant, what, my brother?"

"Yes, I don't want him!" I nodded, in the affirmative.

Pei Zile's eyes were red, and the disappointment in his eyes became more and more intense. "Why? You clearly know, you can clearly see that you are not suitable, and there will be no good results! Why are you still reluctant? Long pain is better than short pain, don't you understand this truth? Do you really have to wait until the child is born, is forcibly taken away by my parents, and it is difficult for mother and child to be separated, will you think that everything I said is not a joke?"

I looked at him and paused for a long time, "No, Pei Zile, your brother won't do that to me!"

"Hmph, you really believe him!" Pei Zile sneered, his side face was extremely cold in the sun, like Pei Shaobei when they first met, with a rejection of alienation thousands of miles away, but it inexplicably made people feel warm and peaceful.

"I want to believe this time, Pei Zile, I want to believe this time. Even if I lose in the end, I want to believe him. I want to give myself a chance, if I miss it, maybe in this life, I will never have such courage again. You don't know how much I struggle and hesitate in my heart, but no matter how much I struggle and hesitate, no matter how ruthless I am, I can't bear it, I really can't bear it!"

My voice choked again, but I didn't know whether I was aggrieved or sad.

I can't see through Pei Shaobei, and I even have doubts about his feelings countless times. I don't know Pei Shaobei, and I don't even know anything about his past. I can't control Pei Shaobei, and I can't even grasp his whereabouts. However, I want to give him, and give me a chance, a chance to go on forever. After all, happiness is so close to me that it seems to be within reach.

Life is so dilapidated, bad things, unguessable people's hearts, dying old parents, growing children, one by one, like a weight, on the other side of the balance unstoppably added, all I can do is to desperately maintain balance, not to let the life in front of me, like an unbalanced scale, tilt violently.

Pei Zile looked at me, from sneering to sarcasm, then from sarcasm to disappointment, and finally to calm.

I don't know what he was thinking at the moment, but I did know that between us, one relationship was over and another was unfolding, and this new beginning was no longer gentle, nor was it beyond my control.

"Gu Wan, it's very good! I've always wanted to persuade you slowly like this, protect you, and let you get the greatest happiness within the scope of the least harm. But why don't you listen? Why are you so ruthless? What's so good about my brother that makes you follow so desperately! Hmph, yes, he's golden, he's handsome, he's the other half that many women crave. But who of you has really seen through him and really entered his heart. ”

Hot book recommendation: The new work of the catty god ", the new book of the god of forgetting, the new book of Chen Fengxiao, the new book of the god of taste