Ever since I was sensible, I saw my mother come home with different men, there was a single room in the house, and my mother drew a curtain in the middle of the house, she worked on the other side of the curtain, and I read books and did homework on the other side of the curtain.

When I was young, I didn't understand what my mother was doing with other men, but when I got a little older, I understood, my mother was a young lady, and I was the son of a young lady, I was an illegitimate child, and I never met my biological father.

One of them Uncle Li is very good to me, every time he comes, he will bring me candy, occasionally hold me and tell stories, the story he said is much more beautiful than the books, and it is much more exciting, I am addicted to listening, I secretly regard him as a father, although I know that he is not his biological father, but his heart is very longing for father's love, and I don't know how many times I have shouted in my heart!

Once, I couldn't hold it back, so I secretly called out to my father, Uncle Li looked at me in amazement, and my mother rushed up, raised her hand and gave me a slap, hitting me all over the head.

Mom's temper is very uncertain, and when she is in a good mood, she will make me clothes and make me something to eat. When she was in a bad mood or drunk, she beat me violently and used all kinds of vicious language to insult me. Most of the time, she loses her temper more often than she doesn't. In order to cover up my injuries, I had to wear long sleeves even in the summer, so I was ridiculed by my friends.

I was afraid that she would come forward and beat me again, so I stepped forward and hugged my mother's leg and begged her not to beat me.

Uncle Li also stepped forward to persuade, and his mother put down his raised hand, his eyes were full of resentment, and he said viciously, "Your father has died a long time ago, have you heard?" I told you a long time ago, you don't have a father at all, who asked you to call your father." Okay, I won't beat you, you get out of here for me right away, get out of here right away, you and that person are all the same virtues. ”

She picked me up and threw me out the door, and no matter how much I knocked on the door, she wouldn't open it. It was pouring rain outside, and the rain fell from the tattered eaves and fell on me, and soon my clothes were wet.

From time to time, lightning streaked across the sky, thunder rang out, and there was an earth-shattering rumble, and I shrank in the corner of the door in fright, shouting loudly while banging on the door, "Mom, you open the door for me, you open the door for me!"

I don't remember how many times I screamed, my voice became hoarse, my mother just refused to open the door, but Aunt Ajuan next door opened the door, she frowned and said, "Alain, this stinky girl is evil, how old is the child, usually either beating, or scolding, now the child has to be thrown out on a rainy day, and I am not afraid that the child will get sick in the rain." ”

Aunt Ajuan stepped forward and grabbed me, looked at my face, let out a long sigh, stroked my cheek and asked softly, "Does it hurt?" Forget it, your mother doesn't love you, Aunt Ajuan loves you. ”

"No, my mother also loves me too, I don't obey, and when she gets angry, she will beat me. "I didn't want others to speak ill of my mother, so I hurriedly spoke for my mother.

"Hey!" Aunt Ajuan stroked my hand and trembled slightly, her eyes flashing with tears, "What an obedient child, if only I had a child." People know how to cherish only when they are lost. Okay, An An, I'll take you to Auntie's house first, okay? When your mother is angry, she will let you in. ”

Aunt Ajuan and her mother are good friends, and she is also a young lady. Usually I want to vacate space at home, so my mother asked me to go to Aunt Ajuan's house, and I obediently followed Aunt Ajuan home. There were no guests at home, and after a while, I relaxed, I hated strange men, I thought they were all disgusting.

Aunt Ajuan asked me if I had eaten, and I remembered that my mother said not to eat what others gave me, and I wanted to nod my head and say that I was full, but my stomach was very angry. Aunt Ajuan laughed with a snort, touched my head and quipped, "The kid is also polite to me, Aunt Ajuan cooked too much today, you can also accompany me to eat!"

As she spoke, she brought out fragrant dishes, two vegetables and one meat, which were delicious to look at. I was robbed of my lunch money by the fat man in the class, and I haven't eaten since noon, and my stomach has been hungry for a long time. I couldn't restrain myself, so I picked up my rice bowl and started eating, and after eating two large bowls of rice in a row, I slowed down and started eating.

There was a knock at the door, and Mom's voice came from outside, and she came to pick herself up. I happily put down the dishes and chopsticks, got up and went to open the door. Seeing my mother standing outside the door, I smiled and shouted Mom.

She lowered her face a little softer and saw my mouth. It became very serious right away. Hitting my little mother emphasized that I should not eat what others gave, I raised my sleeve and wiped my mouth with a weak heart. Her whole body was like a cat stepping on her tail, and the hair on her body stood up, and she immediately pounced.

She grabbed my arm and threw it hard against the edge of the door frame, then raised her hand and slapped my face, I wanted to dodge in pain, but I was afraid that I would make my mother angry, and she would not want me, and I would be an orphan.

She stared at me with anger on her face, pointed at me with sharp nails, and roared loudly, "Who told you to eat other people's things, didn't I say that you should not eat other people's things, you take my words as wind in your ears, right, I let you disobey......."

As she spoke, she reached out and picked up the feather blanket next to her and whipped it heavily towards me, I was used to being beaten, but the feather duster was still very painful, and it hurt so much that my tears fell out. But I knew that my mother hated me crying, and she said that boys can't shed tears, and I tried hard to hold back the tears.

But the feather duster fell again, it really hurt, I couldn't hold back it anymore, and the tears squeezed out. In my ears was my mother's incessant reproach, "Whoever let you eat other people's things, who let you eat other people's things, I will kill you, I will kill you, anyway, you will die in the future, I will kill you......"

Those words were more cruel and hurtful than the whip, and they became a haunting nightmare, which I dreamed of several times as an adult, and then woke up with a fright. But I found that I could no longer hear such cruel and vicious words, and no one would care about me anymore.

Aunt Ajuan rushed up, she snatched the feather duster from her mother's hand, protected me behind her, looked directly at me and scolded and asked, "Are you crazy? Do you want to beat him to death? Do you feel pitiful, is he not pitiful? What's wrong with An An? If you have anger, you can vent it on An An, but what about An An? Who can he vent to? He is still a child, only a nine-year-old child, why are you so ruthless, if you don't want this child, then I want him, you don't care about him anymore." ”

Aunt Ajuan pushed my mother out of the door, closed the door neatly, and then turned around and bent down to hug me, check my injuries, a few days ago, my mother was drunk, so she beat me hard, those injuries did not subside?

Aunt Ajuan looked at the injuries on my body, sighed again, rubbed my hair and coaxed, "You go to bed and lie down first, Auntie helps you with medicine, you too, your mother beats you, don't you know how to dodge?

Aunt Ajuan also does that, and occasionally encounters perverted guests, so she prepared some medicine to take precautions. Aunt Ajuan disinfected me with iodine wine first, and persuaded me while helping me with medicine, "Actually, your mother is also for your good, she has suffered from others." She followed her classmates to work in her second year of high school, and when she ate the water handed to her by her classmates on the way, she became dizzy and dazed, and she was abducted and taken to a prostitution den. Originally, your mother was supposed to be a college student with a bright future, so she wouldn't let you eat other people's food, and she still loves you. ”△≧miào.*bi(.*)gé△≧，

I turned to Aunt Ajuan and asked, "Aunt Ajuan, do you know my father, does he know my existence, why doesn't he want me anymore?"

Aunt Ajuan's hand shook slightly, patted my head with her hand, and said meaningfully, "An An, do you look at the moon in the sky? Let's look at it, don't aspire to have, don't ask for some things, never want to move?"

My classmates all have fathers, and I just want my father, what a common wish, but at the age of nine, I understood that my father was my luxury, and since I no longer asked who my father was, why he didn't want me and so on.

"Okay, An'an, your mother must be hiding from crying? You have to understand one thing, this world is your mother's love for you the most. She just cried too much when she was a child, and she had grievances in her heart, and sometimes, she couldn't control herself, so she would vent her anger on you. In any case, you have to understand that she loves you and really loves you. ”

I said goodnight to Aunt Ajuan and went home. The door was open, I opened the door, and saw my mother lying in front of the desk, her back looked very lonely, lonely, and helpless, I slowly stepped forward, trying to hug her, but I was too small, and my hands were too short to fully hug her.

Mom turned her head slowly, I saw that her face was full of tears, she hugged me tightly, and said over and over again, "An'an, Mom doesn't want to beat you, I just can't control it, Mom loves you, don't you leave me, okay? Mom is only you." ”

At that time, I thought that I would always be with my mother, but then she left me, leaving me alone in this world.