A lot of people say I'm too spontaneous, and I usually think it's a compliment, which means I have an attitude, or at least I'm living for myself. It doesn't matter who you are worthy of, you are not bound by the world, and you are not changed by the environment.

But that was only once, before I went into the night show. Or rather, before my first trip to the Imperial Dynasty.

My grandmother said that my casualness had replaced my mother, and that my dissolute nature had ended up harming herself. I didn't think so, because I didn't even know what my mother looked like, and all my impressions of my mother since I was a child stayed in that group photo in the living room. My grandmother cared very little about me, except for food and clothing, so she didn't know what I was doing outside.

Before college, my grandmother thought that I was very well-behaved and sensible, and my academic performance was always very good, because every time I took a transcript from 10 points to 100, I could always fool her eyes with reading glasses. When I was in junior high school, my grandmother always asked me if any of my classmates liked me and pursued me, and I smiled and replied to her that I would not fall in love early, and now I just want to study with peace of mind to repay her kindness to me.

In fact, I fell in love in the second year of junior high school, and my first love in the third year of junior high school gave me to his eldest brother.

I don't even remember his name for my first love, I only know that his name is Fang Liu, he is the gangster I live in, he dropped out of school after finishing elementary school, and he is pulling children who are generally not in school like him to collect protection money outside our school. We also know because of the protection fee.

On the first day of junior high school, just on the first day of changing to a new school, Fang Liu was waiting for us freshmen in the alley out of the school, and everyone who passed by that alley would leave the so-called road money. The classmates who walked in front of me all gave it, but I didn't give it when it was my turn. One is because I don't have any money, and the other is that I don't want to compromise with these people. After all, in elementary school, because I was taller than many people, few boys and girls could beat me.

Fang Liu didn't beat me like other classmates who didn't take money that day, but said with a smile that this girl has a lot of character.

I disdainfully returned him, it has nothing to do with you.

Since then, Fang Liu not only didn't ask me for money, but even invited me to eat with the money he had collected from other classmates, and bought snacks and clothes for me.

My grandmother rarely took me shopping, and she bought all my clothes from the small shop at the entrance of the alley. But I love beauty, and my foundation is not bad, so I don't refuse everything Fang Liu gave me, and I make excuses for this: his money is not clean money, and he doesn't spend it in vain.

Fang Liu's special care for me made me "awe-inspired" by everyone at school, and even when someone saw me go to the toilet, no matter how anxious I was to urinate, he took the initiative to let me go first. I think it's a sense of superiority, and there's a kind of respect that is even higher than that of a teacher. This feeling made me very comfortable and enjoyable, so Fang Liu asked me to be his girlfriend, I did, Fang Liu took me to the attic of the bar when he took me up, took off my clothes and said that he wanted to me, and I gave it.

So my first time was in the attic of that black bar. There was also a group of shirtless gentlemen sitting downstairs, and even Fang Liu called his brother halfway, that is, the owner of this black bar: Throw your sleeve up.

It was bleeding and stained on the blackened sheets on the floor of the attic, and it was not very noticeable. Fang Liu didn't think to look for it, maybe he didn't think that I would be a place at all, or when I went downstairs, I said that I was in pain, so he took a look at it and scolded: "Damn, my mother is in a place." Then he shouted to the attic: "Brother, let me send a 50 yuan skewer, my woman needs to make up for it." ”

Fang Liu was not gentle, it could even be said that he was a little rude, I was in pain, but I gritted my teeth and jumped down with him, sat in front of the computer and clamped my legs, and ate skewers with him. I don't feel anything wrong with this, and I don't feel how precious the first time is, he gives me what I want, then I give what he wants, that's all.

Since then, Fang Liu has been better to me, buying clothes and bags, taking me down the restaurant to the bar, and holding my shoulders everywhere I go, so that people can call me sister-in-law. Of course, many classmates in the school who had an affair with the society also began to call their sisters-in-law before and after their sisters-in-law, and I also had a share of the skewers and grilled sausages that I bought between classes.

In the second year of junior high school, I dyed my hair yellow, pierced my ears 6 times in a row, and tattooed a butterfly on my chest with Fang Liu. Wearing the most fashionable ripped rivet suits, he always stood at the entrance of the alley outside the school with Fang Liu and Fang Liu during the end of class and school to smoke. I went from being a freshman passing through this alley to being a person who was guarding here.

Fang Liu was arrested in the second phase of junior high school, and the day before he was arrested, he took me to buy a very mature dress, dyed his hair black and straightened it, and took me to a bar in Houhai to meet a person named Siye.

Fang Liu called him eldest brother, and now thinking back to his eyes that day, it was very colorful, he always stared at my chest. But at the time, I thought so, I thought he was Fang Liu's eldest brother, and he would also be my eldest brother, and he had to rely on such a big brother to support him in the back.

So I kept toasting him, I still remember drinking foreign wine, the first time I drank it, I used to go to the bar with Fang Liu and beer. I drank a lot, and when Fang Liu asked me to go back to the hotel to sleep, he said that the eldest brother opened a hotel for us. I was very excited, every time Fang Liu and Fang Liu were either in the attic of the black bar, or in his small dilapidated house shared by five or six people, every time he had to do something, he would let the others close the door and go out first. We shouted inside, and the people outside would also shout, Fang Liu generally moved a few times, and would shout a few times outside: "Shout again, call me to castrate you again!"

I had my period that day, and it was almost over, but I didn't think it would get in the way, and every time my period came, it was business as usual, and I drank and did what I had to do. Since no one told me what I couldn't do during my period, I just felt like I was bleeding a little and lying in bed with something underneath.

Later, I was very dizzy, I thought that the person lying on the same bed with me was Fang Liu, but after I woke up, I found out that it was the fourth master. The fourth master pointed to a hint of bright red on the snow-white sheets and asked me if I was cool last night? The fourth master smiled and reassured me that he would take care of me and my brother at the same time, and would not let him suffer in it.

I instantly understood that Fang Liu had been telling Fourth Master that I was his sister last night, and he had sent me to someone else's bed before he knew that something was going to happen.

I didn't cry and scold Fang Liu, even at that time, I felt that Fang Liu was really good to me, knowing that I was going in, I still remembered to arrange me first, so that I would not be bullied by those who had bullied me in school in the future.

When I left, the fourth master gave me 10,000 yuan, and I took it home and gave half to my grandmother, but I didn't dare to give too much, saying that my essay was published in a magazine, which was the manuscript fee. My grandmother didn't doubt it, and smiled and praised me for being able to make money on my own at a young age. I didn't feel guilty, I didn't blame myself, and I was able to get so much money back after a good night's sleep.

I have been with the fourth master for many years, from the third year of junior high school to the first year.

He didn't give me a lot of money, but it was a lot more than Fang Liu, which was enough to buy the fashion from the off-campus store every month, and allowed me to smoke good cigarettes at school that no one else could afford to smoke. In short, he and Fang Liu have a characteristic, as long as I want to give everything, so I still use this in return, and I will give everything he wants. It was also here from the fourth master that I learned that I couldn't do things when I came to menstruation, I couldn't drink cold water, I couldn't drink alcohol, and I had to smoke less.

My grades are not good, it stands to reason that I can't get into a good school, and when I was about to take the college entrance examination, the fourth master gave me an application form, an application form for a model in an art school. He said I was tall enough and beautiful to be a model. So I filled it out, and under his arrangement, I went to this school smoothly. If the fourth master knew that I would offer to leave him after I went to college, he would definitely not have helped me go to this school at that time in order to want others to show off that his woman was a model.

Since the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year, commercial performances have come to our school one after another, and my conditions are not bad, and I was soon favored by the agency and often arranged some commercial performances for me. I also met Zhou Yangzhou when I often interacted with economic companies, and I felt that it came quickly, it seemed that I was standing on the catwalk and he was sitting under the stage, and the four eyes met for a moment, and they hit each other.

I realized that not all the men in the world were like Fang Liu, nor were they all like the fourth master. I also began to understand that love may not be about sex.

Zhou Yangzhou left my phone number, and we contacted each other for two months. In the past two months, I still slept with the fourth master, but my heart was not as clean as before, and I would think of Chen Yangzhou when I lay under him. Even for the first time afterwards, I felt guilty and felt that I should leave the fourth master and be a clean woman.

I proposed to leave the fourth master, but he didn't keep too much, just asked me if I had thought about it?

I said yes, and he said yes.

He didn't give me extra compensation, he didn't ask me to pay back the money he had spent on me all these years, and he didn't make me go back to him when I was in trouble, as it was written. And it's more like the deal between us is over, I don't sell it, he doesn't buy it.

Buying and selling, these are the words I only learned when I was in college, because there are several students in the art school, and at the celebration banquet at the end of each commercial performance, they clearly mark their worth. Or the brokerage company has an important entertainment, and when it takes us there, it will also quote the price directly.

Of course, Zhou Yangzhou is the CEO of the brokerage company, and I don't have a price where he is.

is also because of Zhou Yangzhou's relationship, I have a lot of commercial performances, more than my classmates. Many people envy me for being lucky enough to meet the boss, and I am also a single diamond king. Actually, I also think it's lucky, but no one knows, and more importantly, when everyone is clearly marked, I went to get my hymen repaired.