Man is a very strange animal, and curiosity makes you desperate to find clues, hoping to find the truth. And when the truth is different from what you want to know, or even worse, people will instinctively resist the truth in order to preserve their current state.

It's a cowardly evasion, but also a self-avoidance.

Sometimes I think that the more people live, the more they become a snail, knowing that the shell on the back is too heavy, but because of that stability and warmth, they will not be willing to throw it away anyway. I really wish I could live as a hermit crab all the time, one shell is not suitable, just find another one, simple and casual, free.

I sat on the edge of the bed for a long, long time, but I didn't do anything too uncomfortable, crying? No, my eyes were so dry that I couldn't even get wet. I dried the washed covers, folded the quilts, closed the door and went home.

Near noon, my mother came, bringing fruit and some of my favorite supplements, and I made a simple meal and accompanied her to a meal.

My mother never mentioned Pei Shaobei or my father's illness since she entered the house, at least asked me how my daily life was and whether morning sickness would be bad.

I wasn't much of an interest because of the mood swings caused by the old neighborhood, but I wasn't a child anyway, and it didn't arouse my mother's suspicions.

My mother gossiped with me for a while, and I realized that she seemed to have something, so I raised my mind and asked, "Mom, is there something wrong with you?" Dad's illness is not good? It's okay, if you are going to have surgery, you don't have to worry about money!"

My mother shook her head, as if she was embarrassed, I suddenly remembered something, and my face was angry, "Is it the Aunt Li on the other side who went to our house to chew the root of her tongue?"

My anger came up, and I don't know if the source is because of Pei Shaobei or Aunt Li, in short, I am like a beast that explodes in an instant, shouting, I can't wait to rush into Aunt Li's house like a shrew and scold people.

When my mother saw me like this, she immediately stretched out her hand and dragged me, so angry that she stomped her feet: "Wanwan, you be careful, why did you jump up like this when you are pregnant." You're glad you still have a back injury, otherwise you would have been able to get to the roof of the house all at once!"

"Don't care if I'm pregnant or not, you are, is it too much for Aunt Li to do this! Mom, I know you have a good temper, but you can't bear this matter, otherwise some people will kick their noses in the face!"

My mother pulled me to sit down, and then she persuaded, "Alas, Aunt Li did too much in this matter, and I told her yesterday." Only, alas!"

My mother stopped talking, and I looked more and more annoyed, "Mom, what's wrong, you just say it! Could it be that Aunt Li is still hiding from us and going directly to Lin Dong? Hmph, this is better, they can mix as much as they like, we don't care!"

You also know that your dad has a good face, and we have been hiding your divorce for a long time. If you say that you are married to Shaobei now, I won't say anything. That's the case, no matter how they chew their tongues. It's just that now, you and Shaobei are not married, you can tell me, if Aunt Li intervenes and stirs Lin Dong in, you let me and your father behave in the community!"

"Why can't you be a man!" I shouted angrily, "Is life for others to see? Besides, Lin Dong's stay is something I can control? If he is willing to marry Aunt Li's daughter, then go and marry, can any of us stop it?"

"Wanwan!" my mother was so angry that tears came down, and I didn't know how to comfort me, I always felt that I was more wronged than anyone else, and when I saw my mother like this, I didn't want to talk anymore, so I turned my face away from looking at her.

Mother sighed for a moment, and suddenly a sentence came out, "Tonight, my mother wants to ask you, do you have no feelings for Lin Dong!"

I was stunned, a little unsure of what my mother meant.

Seeing that I didn't answer, my mother asked again, "Although your father didn't say it, I can see that he is dissatisfied with Lin Dong." However, the events of this period of time have changed his thinking, and his mother has also thought a lot. The biggest difficulty is that the gap between you and Pei Shaobei is too big, in case, you say that in case, your father or I have three long and two short, do you still expect Pei Shaobei to serve in front of the window?

My mother said these words with red eyes, and I was overwhelmed by her thoughts.

"Mom, do you and my dad have to force me to divorce Pei Shaobei, and then go back to Lin Dong, or find a more ordinary man with the same second marriage for the rest of your life, do you feel so relieved and happy?" I turned my face to look at her, for the first time, I was tired of family affection. "Why? I'm your daughter, shouldn't parents want their daughter to get better and better? Shouldn't you trust your children a lot? I remember when I was studying, your favorite thing was to praise me in front of people, thinking that I was proud of you and my father. When I first stayed in school, my father was still drunk for this, and said that having a daughter like me is worth it for a lifetime! Why? Is it because I have been divorced? Is it that a person who is married for the second time is worthless in the eyes of everyone? Is it true that if you take the wrong path, you really have no chance to turn back? Even if you have another way to go, you have to choose to shrink back, ignore it, and dare not try? Mom, I don't want to be like this, I don't want to spend my whole life with a person like Lin Dong, even if, even in the end, what if Pei Shaobei and I are not together? I won't regret it!"

My mother looked at me, tears falling from her eyes, and she choked up and couldn't speak for a long time.

I knew she was uncomfortable, but I didn't want to comfort her, and I had my insistence on this matter, and I would never look back no matter what.

"Evening!" my mother reached out to hold me, and I felt a faint warmth in my rough palm. "What mother doesn't want her children to be safe and happy! You don't know, when you divorced, your father and I couldn't sleep all night. We're afraid! Your father loves face, but he loves you even more! You kid, alas, your mother is old, she can't take care of it, she doesn't care, you, you just need to be good!"

My mother, who seemed unable to express her inner thoughts, wiped away her tears, reached out and patted me, and staggered to the entrance.

"Mom!"

I screamed, aggrieved.

Mother waved her hand, "Mommy is gone!"

I sat down on the couch with my ass slumped, unable to hold back any longer, hugging my knees and crying.

That night, Pei Shaobei did not come back, only called me to tell me that the office was working overtime, and he didn't even notice my low mood.

I was lying alone in bed with a blank head. In late autumn, it suddenly rains so hard that it seems that the clear sky during the day is just an illusion when you wake up. I listened to the crackling raindrops hitting the glass, and I didn't feel sleepy.

I don't know what time a person tossed and fell asleep again.

For two days, Pei Shaobei didn't come back, but he made a few phone calls and told me to take good care of myself. The rainstorm came and went quickly, and it only stopped after half a day. It's just that the weather has been gloomy, and there is no sunshine. I went to Pei Shaobei's house to clean up the sheets, and found that it was very damp, and there was a faint musty smell, just like those emotions fermented in the bottom of my heart, thinking that it was dry, but it was still deep in the texture, unless the sun was shining, otherwise, it would be difficult to disappear.

I can't help it, I'm ready to wait for the weather to get better and wash again. I walked around Pei Shaobei's room alone, feeling as uncomfortable as being scratched by a cat.

I know it's immoral, but I can't suppress this curiosity, I can't help but search for a result, to deny the ridiculous conjectures in my heart, to strengthen my courage to keep going.

The moment I opened the door to the study, all the uneasiness and anxiety that swelled in my heart turned into a kind of excitement. Exploring people's privacy was something I would never allow before. Even after so many years of married life with Lin Dong, I never thought of doing such a thing in the past. Maybe at that time, I felt that I had an absolute advantage in self-confidence, and I didn't disdain this kind of obscene behavior like stealing chickens and dogs, maybe my self-purity at that time was more important than my marital feelings at that time.

I can't tell, but I don't want to think about it.

Pei Shaobei's study is the first time I have come in, I have eaten here a few times before, and I have only been to the living room once, and even the bedroom has only been there once, and it is still drunk and disorderly.

Since the relationship was confirmed, Pei Shaobei changed the office space into my family's study, a simple computer, a few relevant law books, I never doubted that Pei Shaobei's study would be different from the newly established study on my side. Now that I'm really sitting here, I realize that the difference is more than a star and a half.

The simple desk, with the mahogany bookshelf displayed on the side, is heavy and quaint, and the books on it are classified and arranged, but they are all related to law, but at the bottom of the bookshelf, there are a few foreign reading materials, which is very different from Pei Shaobei's room in Pei's house.

On the desk, a group photo of Pei Zile and Pei Shaobei is placed in a corner, and next to the photo frame, there is an empty iron shelf, which is black and has nothing special, it seems to be a simple bookshelf with some simple documents.

After a long hesitation, I finally landed on the drawer of my desk, and tried to pull it with trembling hands, but it was unlocked.

This relieved my original guilt, or at least showed that there should be no secrets worth hiding here. I comforted myself and finally opened the drawer. I reached out and flipped through the neatly stacked papers, all of which were work-related, but there was no privacy.

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