In the next few days, Xueqi's cough never stopped, and her fever never went away. She has stopped attending classes, and I have temporarily quit my job in the company, and every day, I am in the hospital, staying by Xueqi's side.

On the third day of hospitalization, it was raining coldly outside, and the weather was even colder, and in the warm ward, Xueqi grabbed my hand and said to me crying: "Papa, today is a performance at school, my classmates are dancing, only I can't go...... papa, I want to go ......"

My heart twitched, I grabbed Xueqi's little hand, held back my tears, comforted her and said, "Qiqi, don't cry, take care of your illness, and when you get better, you can go to dance." ”

Xue Qi cried, looking at me with tears in her eyes, but she didn't say anything, just nodded.

The lace of the snow-white pajamas was stained with the transparent tears of Xueqi.

In the next few months, Xueqi's diagnostician said it.

Xueqi's illness has not improved.

Xue Qi's body became thinner and weaker day by day, and her little face became paler day by day, like a cold statue.

I asked the diagnostician several times if Xueqi could have surgery. The answer given to me by the diagnostician was that Xueqi was too young, only eleven years old, and she couldn't have surgery at this age.

I'm in despair.

I asked a lot of doctors again, and I asked them again and again, is there any hope for Xueqi.

The answer given to me by the most authoritative doctor is:

If Xue Qi can survive for another year, there is still hope. If you can't get through it, there's no way to do it.

There's no way around it.

There's really no way around it.

Even if I had enough money to treat Xueqi, I couldn't keep Xueqi anymore.

Xue Qi is really leaving me.

Every day, every minute, every second, her life passed slowly like sand between her fingers.

I think this is the sadness of the pharmaceutical industry, even if you can control the life and death of people in the world, you will never be able to control the life of the people you love the most.

This is the greatest irony.

I watched Xue Qi lying on the hospital bed, losing weight day by day, getting weaker and weaker day by day, but I couldn't do anything.

In this way, Xueqi has been in bed for four months.

“papa…… I'm not going to get better, am I?"

That day, lying on the hospital bed, Xue Qi asked me with a sob, her little face flushed.

"How so, guaranteed. I smiled and comforted Xueqi.

“papa…… You lied to me, I won't be fine...... I'm not going to be fine...... Hmm......mm

I comforted Xueqi, but she didn't listen, hit me with her hands, and kept crying, but I couldn't persuade her.

It wasn't until she cried that Xue Qi calmed down, staring out the window blankly, her moist and bright eyes didn't blink, as if she was distracted.

I don't know what she's thinking.

But looking at her, my heart hurts like a knife.

“papa…… I miss home...... I also want my classmates and teachers at school to ......" looked out the window for a long, long time, and Xue Qi finally spoke, looking at me blankly, her little face pale. "Papa, I want to go home again, I want to eat ice cream, I want to watch TV...... And my teachers and classmates...... They're definitely waiting for me......"

I endured the sourness in the corners of my eyes and didn't speak, just touched Xueqi's face and gently wiped away the tears on Xueqi's face.

"Papa takes you there. After wiping away Xueqi's tears, I said this to her.

"Papa takes you there. ”

The next day, I took Xueqi to school, let her meet with her teachers and classmates, and finally went home again and let her see the home that worried her.

Home is still home, and nothing has changed in the home. TV, sofa, bed. Calendar...... All the arrangements are the same as in the past, without the slightest change, just like in the days when Xueqi was healthy.

When she saw the scene at home, Xueqi cried again and refused to leave, and finally she left the house and returned to the hospital after I repeatedly comforted her.

In the evening, Xueqi was taken back to the hospital by me and lay back on the bed that had been with her for several months.

When she lay down on the hospital bed again, Xue Qi stopped crying, it seemed that because she realized her little wish today, she was in a better mood, although she was still sullen, but she didn't cry anymore after all.

At that time, Xue Qi was already very weak, although she could get out of bed and walk, but she couldn't walk much, and every time she walked far, she would be tired and panting, coughing nonstop.

Every time I see Xue Qi walking weakly, I will think of the past, when Xue Qi was still healthy, at that time, whenever it was a sunny weekend, I would often take her out for a walk.

I really miss that time.

I miss when Xue Qi was healthy, lively and cheerful, and always smiling.

But...... It's no longer possible.

As the days went by, Xueqi's illness became more and more serious, and in the end, she almost didn't talk much.

Every day, in addition to eating and drinking, I just stared out the window, watched the sunrise, watched the sunset, and watched it all day long, without saying a word.

I comforted Xue Qi several times, but she didn't listen at all, just stared out the window, silently in a daze, like a soulless puppet.

One day in June, the nurse came to change the salt water for Xueqi, and Xueqi was still looking out the window, stunned, and I stayed next to her.

Just as I was changing the salt water bottle, Xue Qi suddenly came back to her senses, looked at me with a sad expression, and said to me softly, "Papa, I want to go to a far away place to play." ”

At that time, I didn't react to Xue Qi's words, but that time, Xue Qi's emotions were unexpectedly intense, she grabbed my hand hard, looked at me with dark eyes, and said to me with tears: "Papa, you said before that you would take me to Xinjiang...... You said that Xinjiang is beautiful, and you said that you would take me to see the Tianshan Mountains and take me to eat mutton skewers......"

When Xue Qi said this, I finally remembered.

I finally remembered what I had said to Xue Qi in the depths of my memory. I also finally remembered why Xueqi wanted to go to Xinjiang.

That was when Xue Qi was 6 years old, when she was still healthy and sunny. One night, I took Xueqi to the night market to eat mutton skewers, and at that time, I did tell Xueqi that Xinjiang is very beautiful, with a lot of mountains, rivers and grasslands, cattle, sheep and beasts, and a lot of mutton skewers.

That night, I also promised Xue Qi that one day, when Papa was free, I would take Xue Qi to a far, far away place, to Xinjiang, so that she could have enough.

I didn't expect that it had been five years, but Xueqi hadn't forgotten what I had said to her.

It's incredible.

At that moment, I felt my whole heart vibrate, and I really didn't expect Xue Qi to remember that little promise I made to her.

“papa…… Take me outside to play, okay......"

Xue Qi suddenly begged me, which surprised me a little, but after thinking about it, I still said to Xue Qi in a deep voice:

"Qiqi, you can't walk far when you're sick now, wait until you're well, don't lie to you, okay?"

I said patiently, but I didn't dare to look at Xue Qi's clear and bright eyes.

“papa…… You said you were going to take me outside...... ...... you said" Xue Qi suddenly begged me, with a hint of crying.

I looked at Xue Qi with some struggle.

Looking at Xue Qi's innocent eyes and her earnest expression, at that moment, I felt that my whole person was boiling, and an indescribable huge force began to surge in my blood. It was a force from the depths of the soul, more powerful than all the forces in this world.

That force broke through the defenses within me, cut off all my sanity, and it broke the last shackles that bound my reason, and made me do something crazy.

I know that this is Xueqi's last wish.

She didn't have much time left. Even if they are treated, they can only last for a few more months.

Rather than watching her get weaker in her hospital bed, I'd rather make her happy every day for the rest of the day.

So I couldn't refuse her last plea for me.

"Okay, Papa will take you!!"

I stood up from my seat, held back my tears, and looked at Xueqi.

"Papa, I'll take you to Xinjiang to play!

I cried and shouted, picked up Xueqi from the bed, and then walked to the door of the ward with her relieved smile.

Seeing my crazy behavior, the nurse and the doctor ran up in a panic and wanted to stop me, saying that Xueqi was still being treated and couldn't go out, but I was pushed away, and I didn't look at them, so I walked out of the hospital with Xueqi in my arms.

Never look back.

As I walked towards the hospital door, Xueqi began to lean into my arms and smile.

And I started to cry.

I walked faster and faster, and the shouts of doctors and nurses came from behind me, but I didn't hear them.

Finally, I walked out of the hospital gates.

The golden sun shone on my body, Xueqi's face.

A warm feeling permeated me and her body.

Sober air, busy streets, golden sunshine.

Everything is as it was yesterday.

Holding Xue Qi horizontally, looking at the flow of people coming and going in front of me, at that moment, I finally made a crazy decision.

I'm going to take Xueqi with me.

I'm going to take her away from the city where she's lived for ten years.

Take her to places she's never been before.

Take her to the farthest and most beautiful places.

I'm going to take her to see the snowy mountains, take her to see the grasslands, take her to see the forests, take her to see the sea.

Take her to see the outside world.

That was the promise I made to Xueqi, an iron oath that I could never break in my life.

I've made up my mind.

In Xueqi's few remaining days, I want her to spend every day in happiness, smile happily every day, and never cry again.

So, in the rest of Xueqi's life,

I'm going to make a simple but grand plan

That is, with her,

Travel all over China!!

……

……

I owe Xue Qi a childhood.

So now, I'm going to give her back a fairy tale.

The next day, I took care of everything, booked a plane ticket to Xinjiang, contacted Kanghui Travel Company, and made all the preparations for the trip.

On that day, I took Xueqi and all my luggage to fly high into the sky and flew away from this city that has accumulated our story for more than ten years.

Once upon a time, I had girls I had a crush on, but they all left the city one by one.

And now, I have finally left the city with Xueqi and embarked on my journey.

On the first day of the trip, we arrived in Urumqi, and in the Grand Bazaar, Xueqi and I saw a dazzling array of gold and silver jewelry, saw the unique foreign architecture, and ate food that we had never eaten before, such as naan, mare's milk wine, mutton skewers, grilled fish, pulled noodles, and pilaf...... On that day, we ate almost all the delicious food of Xinjiang. I held on until we couldn't walk, and I ate the food with tears in my eyes. Eat all the food in Xinjiang, because this is my promise to her, and I have to do it.

On the third day of the trip, I took Xueqi to the Tianshan Tianchi known as the Queen Mother's footbath, in the Fushou Temple, we saw the sparkling Tianchi from the sky, the water surface is like a blue curtain spread on the earth, clear people's hearts. Farther away, Xue Qi finally saw the snow-capped mountains she had been longing for for a long time. The distant and seemingly accessible snow-capped mountains made her heart flutter. At that time, Xue Qi said to me, papa, if I were the snow on the Tianshan Mountains, it would never melt. That's when I cried.

On the sixth day of the trip, Xueqi and I went to God's back garden...... Kanas. On the 1,000st step of the fish viewing platform, Xueqi and I saw a fairyland-like secluded lake from a height of 100 meters, and the different colors of the lake seemed to hide another mysterious world. In Sanctuary Bay, in Wolong Bay, Xueqi and I saw primeval forests and strange water that we had never seen before.

On the tenth day of the trip, Xueqi and I came to Sailim Lake, in front of the blue alpine lake that stretches like the sea, in the boundless green grassland, full of cattle and sheep, Xueqi and I seemed to have found a home in life.

On the eleventh day of the trip, Xueqi and I came to the last place of God's self-cultivation, Hemu, and at Genghis Khan's point platform, we drew the end of our trip to Xinjiang.

On the fifteenth day of the trip, Xueqi and I came to Dunhuang, Gansu. In the vast desert, we rode on a sand cart and sped over one dirt slope after another until we left our last footprints at Moon Bay.

On the twentieth day of the trip, we came to Xi'an, and in front of the Terracotta Warriors and Horses of Qin Shi Huang, we counted the number of Terracotta Warriors and Horses one by one.

On the twenty-fifth day of the trip, I carried Xueqi on my back to the Badaling Great Wall in Beijing, and on the steps of the Great Wall, I saw a long and tortuous ancient road that may not be able to exhaust the rest of Xueqi's life.

On the forty-sixth day of the trip, Xueqi and I got on the cable car of Huangshan, and in front of the mobile phone stone, I picked her up and took a final group photo.

On the sixty-second day of the trip, Xueqi and I came to Jiuzhaigou Wucai Pool, and in that mythical dream-like world, we wandered until sunset.

On the first hundred and forty-second day of my trip, I took Xueqi to Harbin Ice and Snow World, where we saw gorgeous ice sculptures standing in the snowflakes flying in the sky. In a world where time is frozen, we forget about time.

On the first hundred and sixty-first day of our trip, Xueqi and I got lost on Queen's Road in Hong Kong.

On the first hundred and eighty-eighth day of our trip, Xueqi and I arrived in Haikou, Hainan, and it was the day after New Year's Day, and we saw fireworks blooming all over the sky on the golden beach where the waves were lapping.

It was also the last leg of our trip.

……

……

From May to the new year, in less than 200 days, Xueqi and I traveled all over the country, and our footprints left in one corner after another of China's mountains and rivers.

In one hundred and eighty-eight days, we have seen the vast and boundless sky, the reckless and vast fields, the vast undulating sea of clouds, and the endless blue sea......

During the long journey, almost every once in a while I would stop because of Xueqi's treatment. Whenever Xue Qi was seriously ill, we would stop. And when the snow gets better, we will continue our trip.

As the trip progressed, Xueqi became happier day by day, but she also became weaker day by day.

At the end of the trip, Xueqi could no longer get out of bed and walk, at that time, I carried her on my back, climbed the steps of the scenic spot step by step, carried her over the mountains, walked all over the wilderness, and walked through the forest......

There were many times when I was carrying Xue Qi on my back and walking slowly down the steps of the mountainside, Xue Qi would persuade me worriedly, saying:

"Papa, don't go, I'm heavy. Let's go home. ”

Then I gritted my teeth, sweated on my face, and said to Xueqi with a smile:

"It's okay, I can still carry it...... ...... can be carried on his back."

Then the next second, we fell to the ground together.

……

Sometimes, when tourists see me carrying a sick little girl on my back and climbing hard in the scenic spot, they will enthusiastically come over to help and say that they are willing to help me carry her...... Maybe it was just one person or two people at first, but in the end, more and more people began to help me and Xueqi, and some people even came from afar to ask for help, saying that there was a father who came to see the scenery with a sick girl on his back, which made them very touched and respected. They enthusiastically helped me carry Xueqi one by one, and accompanied me and Xueqi through one scenery after another.

Along the way, gradually, more and more people know the story of me and Xueqi.

More and more people have joined us, stayed with us, and helped us.

Who says there are no more good people in this world?

Along the way, Xueqi and I witnessed one warm and kind face after another.

If it weren't for them, maybe I would have been tired halfway up the Yellow Mountain, or maybe I would have missed the sightseeing bus from Wolong Bay to Kanas......

Perhaps there is no shortage of kind-hearted people in this world, what we lack is just trying to go out and find it farther away.

For a month after the long journey, every day, Xueqi lay on the hospital bed, flipping through the photos left by me and her travels, smiling and recalling the memories of our journey along the way.

In those days, Xue Qi seemed to have forgotten her body that had been entangled by illness, and every day, I could see her most innocent and sweet smile.

But what can't be changed is that as time goes by, I see that Xueqi is getting weaker day by day, Xueqi is getting thinner and thinner, and her originally cute little face is getting paler and paler.

At that time, I already had a faint feeling that soon, the time of fate's judgment was coming.

But I have also made up my mind that I will always be by Xueqi's side for the rest of my days.

I'm going to stay with her until the last second.

I've been with her for twelve years, and I don't care about staying with her longer.

Time passed little by little in front of us, but we never separated.

I always think that time can't separate us, only life and death can separate us.

But perhaps life is never short of wonders and surprises.

In April, I finally received good news.

It was news from Leptin, and I learned that their company had produced a new injectable drug specifically for Xueqi's condition, but it was not known how effective that drug had not been tested in clinical trials.

But that at least gave me hope.

On the day I learned the news, I did everything possible to contact Leptin and purchased a large number of this medicine from their company to be used to treat Xueqi in the future.

And it turned out that the effect of that medicine was really good, and after more than a month of treatment, Xueqi's condition seemed to gradually stabilize.

At least in my opinion, Xue Qi doesn't seem to be in pain anymore, she is no longer emaciated, her face is not pale, she is getting healthier day by day, her condition is getting better day by day. Every day, Xueqi tells me, papa, I'm much better.

It was my happiest and happiest time.

At that time, I said to myself that Xueqi was going to get better.

She's not leaving, she's coming back to me.

The two of us will live a carefree and ordinary life again, happily together every day, laughing, singing and laughing.

I will watch Xueqi grow up day by day, watch her become more and more beautiful, until she grows up, until she becomes a beautiful and dusty girl, and then, when that day, I will ask her to get married.

Finally, I will put on a black suit, Xueqi will put on a beautiful white wedding dress, and we will walk to the wedding hall.

I don't care about morality and ethics anymore, and I don't care about worldly eyes anymore.

To hell with all the rules and morals that stand between me and Xueqi.

I will always be with Xueqi.

I'm going to be with her.

Just like in the old days.

Definitely.

In those days, watching Xue Qi's complexion gradually improve, and her condition seemed to improve day by day, I seemed to see something shiny that could bring a bright and beautiful turnaround.

That thing, like a pair of wings.

Whenever I go to the low point of my life, whenever I think I've reached a desperate situation.

Those wings are always there for me.

It flew with me again and again, out of the most desperate cliffs, through the hardest years.

It has saved me again and again and brought me joy, light, and happiness.

That pair of wings is called Xueqi.

It's also called hope.