The vase is placed with delicate and blooming pink roses, spitting out a fragrant fragrance, this gorgeous delicate color warms the desolation, I feel sad for me and Li Yi in vain, the past is like smoke, scene after scene flashes through my mind, some of which are sweet, some are bitter, and in the end it is just a down-and-down ending, and both of them are haggard.

In fact, such an ending can be imagined, Li Yi is the kind of flamboyant and domineering character, and I am stubborn, inferior and damn self-esteem, and we are too different, so big that I never thought that I would have a future with Li Yi. It's just that with a lot of blood, I want to love across classes, after all, most girls have a Cinderella dream!

Li Yi is finally willing to let me go, I should be happy, I have suffered from his domineering, his arrogance, and his viciousness, and I don't want to be too suspicious and inferior to my life, but I don't feel happy about it, what is there to be happy about? The price is too great?

Xu Yuwen walked over, he gently put his hand on my shoulder, and persuaded, "Shuangshuang, you still have a mother, a sister, and a younger brother, you have to take good care of yourself." ”

Family is one of my weaknesses, even if that home only exists in name for me, but even if it is far away and pretends not to care, how can it really not care?

I was silent and didn't want to speak, Xu Yuwen sat down on the edge of my bed, he looked at me gently and said, "Shuangshuang, I have had the same idea as you, and many times!"

Xu Yuwen unbuttoned his watch, unbuttoned his shirt, and showed his scarred wrist in front of me, his skin was already white and tender, so that those scars seemed more hideous, some deep, some shallow, a few scars were extraordinarily deep, they must have hurt the arteries, and one was just cut.

Xu Yuwen pointed to the top scar, fell into deep thought, his expression was solemn and sad, he pointed to the heavily injured scar, and said calmly" This was my first scar, it was cut when I was ten years old, at that time I really wanted to die myself, I took an uncle's blade and cut it hard, the blood stained the bathroom, my mother raised her hand and gave me a slap, scolded me for soiling the bathroom, let me die, she said that she suffered so much, just to raise me, if I died, she would treat me as if she had never given birth to me, I was a white-eyed wolf, and then she sent me to the hospital. ”

Xu Yuwen was still smiling, but that smile was distressing, he pointed to the second shallow scar, and then said, "That was the day my mother left, and I was sent to Xu's house." At night, I heard all kinds of curses from Mother Xu, I couldn't stand it, so I cut it myself, but I bandaged it myself, fortunately, the cut was not very deep. ”

Xu Yuwen smiled self-deprecatingly, he stared at me and said, "Shuangshuang, in the future, you will understand that there is no obstacle in this world that cannot be overcome, and there is no unbearable pain." The pain now, you feel unbearable, it's like the world is falling apart, and in a few years, when you think about these things, you will find that it is not unbearable pain. ”

I lifted my finger and pointed to the new scar and asked, "What about this, why do you want to cut your wrist again?"

Xu Yuwen just looked at me and smiled, and did not answer my question directly, my eyes were fixed on him, and after a while, he spoke, "Shuangshuang, I hope you are happy, but I seem to have done something wrong." If I'm tired of driving, if I'm ......"

I knew he was referring to a car accident, something I didn't want to recall, a scar that I didn't want to be uncovered again, and I suddenly became very excited, and shouted "Don't say it, don't say it again, I don't want to hear it again." ”

Xu Yuwen stretched out his hand and hugged the emotionally excited me, hugged me firmly, I covered my ears, I didn't want to listen anymore, Xu Yuwen sighed and patted the back of my hand and persuaded, "Shuangshuang, you only need to look directly at the reality before you can step over, do you still have to deceive yourself? How long do you want to fall into sadness? If you are sad, we will also be sad." ”

I pushed Xu Yuwen away vigorously, shook my head in resistance, looked straight at Xu Yuwen, and tears hazy my eyes again, "Xu Yuwen, you are not a mother, you are not a father, so you won't understand, it's almost four months old, it already has a heartbeat, he already has limbs, he is already a villain, at this time he can do all kinds of activities, lick his fingers, and even turn his head, can you understand what kind of expectation I have to watch it grow up little by little, looking forward to its coming?" Don't push me, don't push me anymore. ”

Xu Yuwen only remained silent about my accusations, looking at his aggrieved appearance, I didn't want to say any more, I became unreasonable, what does Xu Yuwen have to do with this matter? He has helped me so much, I can no longer blame him for the fault. I took a deep breath to regulate my emotions, slowed down and said, "I'm sorry, my emotions aren't quite right!"

Xu Yuwen took my hand and put it on his cheek, he looked at me intently and seriously, and said, "I know!"

At this moment, I can't refuse Xu Yuwen's thoughtfulness, women are fragile after all, so fragile that only someone around them can comfort them, and they will approach naturally. I don't know where I heard a sentence, for most women, there is no love, whoever is good to her, she will love.

Mom walked into the house, she carried a thermos flask in her hand, glanced at the embarrassment in the room, looked up at Xu Yuwen again, greeted politely, and approached me, probably seeing that I finally opened my eyes, her expression looked a little more relaxed, she said with deliberate flattery, "Shuangshuang, Mom boiled black chicken soup for you, can you drink a little bit?"

Xu Yuwen put my hand in the quilt, turned around and went out, and empathetically left the space to me and my mother. Mom opened the thermos box, the room was full of sweet fragrance, she didn't mind my indifference, and said to herself, "Don't you like to eat tea tree mushrooms very much?" This morning's tea tree mushrooms are also very fresh, I bought a lot, can you eat it deliciously? ”

I shook my head and told the truth "Mom, I can't eat!"

Mom got up from the chair with tears in her eyes, and she asked me loudly, "What do you want? You always say that you can't eat, you have no appetite, you haven't eaten for a week, do you want to force yourself to death, or do you want to force me to die? Look at what you have become, what you have lost weight, what have you tossed yourself into, you just beg your mother, can you eat?"

Mom has always been very docile, and I've never seen her get angry. She raised her hand to wipe away her tears, "My life is hard enough, your grandmother left early, as the eldest sister, I worked hard to take care of the family, and I married your father at the age of 16, your father is a good person, he is good to me, but not long after giving birth to you, he left." At that time, I was pregnant with your sister, what could I do? At that time, I couldn't support myself, let alone raise two children, so I had to find someone to marry. Don't you understand what your stepfather is? He drank, gambled, and beat people, and I was always beaten half to death by him, and I had no hope, so I just hoped that the child would grow up, and then life would be better. Now you're going to die again, do you want me to send a white-haired person to a black-haired person? Shuangshuang, you can't be so willful, have you thought about it for me? How will I explain it to your father in the future?"

The first time I heard these words from my mother's mouth, she was always very busy, busy with the business in the store, busy with housework, busy with the affairs of her younger siblings, like a spiral, kept turning, I thought she was numb, no emotion, it turned out that she had,

I listened to my mother's accusations, and my heart was also very uncomfortable, my mother sat on the edge of the bed, held my hand, shook her head and said, "Shuangshuang, you are still very young, your mother has experienced so much, and she is not alive and well, and her mother is not looking forward to you getting ahead, just hoping that you can find someone who is harder and not afraid of being restrained by you, and he will marry someone who loves you." I don't care if he has money or not, he can love you, just accompany you to old age, you have suffered so much. If you can't help, forget it, you have done a lot for the family over the years. Mom is eccentric, but you are all born to me, the palms and backs of your hands are full of meat, no matter where you hurt, Mom will hurt!"

My mom and I have very similar temperaments, we are both clumsy to express our feelings and are used to hiding. I sobbed silently, grabbed the quilt stiffly, and looked at my mother in a daze, my mother picked up the thermos flask, put a spoonful of soup to my mouth and persuaded me, Shuangshuang, can you eat a little bit? Even if you are sad in your heart, don't get along with yourself, good, you just open your mouth, okay?"

Mom rarely shows tenderness to me, in my memory, she will smile at her younger siblings, but rarely smile at me, let alone talk to me gently, now I see her like this, I can't help crying, Mom put down the thermos, hugged me, mother and son hugged each other and cried, this belated maternal love, still makes me feel that Mom's arms are warm, and my heart is also warm.

I shifted my gaze and landed outside the window, the rainstorm finally went, today's weather is very good, the sky is very blue, the sun is shining high, and there are a few white clouds suspended in the blue sky, rare good weather, maybe people really can't live so selfishly, I still have a family, how can I bear to make my family sad?