At night I slept in the same bed with Jiaqi, Jiaqi slept on the left, I slept on the right, before sleeping, I always like to tickle Jiaqi's itch, Jiaqi is a child who is naturally afraid of itching, every time I scratch a little bit, she will "giggle" and laugh non-stop, her two little feet can't stop tossing, and sometimes she will roll on the bed, turning over to death, and her hair is messy.

"Papa is so itchy, itchy~~"

While rolling, Jiaqi begged for mercy, and that kind of scene really aroused men's animal desires.

Of course, sleeping with Jiaqi also has a big disadvantage, that is, Jiaqi will wet the bed at night, a few times I slept well at night, and suddenly felt a moist coolness on the sheets, at that time I would be awakened in the middle of the night, then I knew that Jiaqi wetted the bed.

Since then, Jiaqi and I have slept on two different sheets, the same bed, but with different sheets and bedding.

One night, Jiaqi and I slept in bed together, watching cartoons on TV about the big-headed son and the small-headed father.

Jiaqi sat on the quilt and I lay on the quilt.

On that day, I will never forget that Jiaqi asked that question that I would never be able to answer for the rest of my life.

That night, Jiaqi watched the plot in the cartoon Big Head Son and Little Head Dad, and suddenly, she turned her little head, stared at me with innocent black eyes, and asked me stupidly: "Papa, why don't I have an apron mother?"

Jiaqi may have just asked a simple question casually, but it made me stunned.

I have long known that as I get older and more knowledge, sooner or later Jiaqi will ask me this question.

Every time I go to the street, Jiaqi will look curiously when she sees a mother with a child, and at that time, I understand that Jiaqi is already wondering why others are mothers with children, but she is a young "papa" with her?

It's just that I never figured out how to answer this question.

Jiaqi is a child abandoned by her mother, how can she have a mother?

She didn't even have a father.

I didn't answer Jiaqi's question, but remained silent, turning my eyes to the TV and pretending not to hear.

In the face of my ignorance, Jiaqi obviously did not give up easily, grabbed my calf with her little hand, and kept asking: "Papa, why don't I have an apron mother?"

Jiaqi asked me over and over again, looking at me anxiously with big black eyes, and it was clear that this question was very important to her.

I still didn't answer, and left her to ask.

She still held on to my feet.

In the end, I was really impatient, so I was ruthless, my eyes widened, and I said viciously to Jiaqi: "Kiki, don't ask again!!"

Frightened by my stern voice, Jiaqi really stopped talking, with a frightened look on her face, and didn't dare to speak again.

I rarely show such an expression to Kiki, in Kiki's heart, I am a very spoiled papa, and her only relative, usually I smile and smile gently at her, rarely show a stern look, even if she makes a mistake, there will be no such harsh criticism, so Jiaqi was immediately afraid, her eyes were watery and tearful, and she didn't dare to speak.

Sure enough, Jiaqi didn't ask the question again.

And since that time, for a long time, Jiaqi hasn't asked me any more questions about her mother.

Of course, I don't know how much damage my rude answer has done to her young mind, and I don't know how long the strange question about the absence of a mother has been buried in her heart.

In the summer of 2005, I took her to the streets to buy several outfits, including sundresses, skirts and lingerie. Although it's not the first time I've been on the street with Jiaqi, I'm still embarrassed every time I take Jiaqi to the street to buy women's clothes, but it's better than a few years ago. Anyway, Jiaqi has grown up, and I am not as young as 5 years ago, I was already a 21-year-old young man in 05, and taking Jiaqi to the street is no longer as dazzling as holding her on the street as a baby, the proprietress of those clothing stores will see me and Jiaqi, some will say that Jiaqi and I are really a young father and daughter, and some will say that my brother is really good to his sister. All in all, Jiaqi and I are not as awkward as we were at the beginning.

I am generally not particularly picky about buying clothes for Jiaqi, as long as it looks like the style I like, and the size is appropriate, I will basically buy it, and because Jiaqi is also young, the province is not beautiful, and I don't know much about clothing, so I will not object to what I buy for her. Of course, sometimes she will also offer to buy clothes with cute cartoon characters painted on them.

I remember that I picked out a set of white shirt and black dress for Jiaqi at that time, when Jiaqi wore that costume, it was very cute, under the white smooth clothes, the black pleated skirt was accompanied by the delicate jumping Jiaqi's jumping steps up and down, like a jellyfish dancing in the water, plus Jiaqi's long black hair that was already shawl at that time, the costume and Jiaqi's hair complemented each other, exuding a particularly attractive beauty.

As she grew older, Jiaqi at that time already had femininity, long eyelashes, fair and translucent ice skin, round and big eyes like swimming fish, tall and pretty little Qiong nose like cheese, lychee-like gills, and faint pink lips, all of which showed the demeanor of Lori's little beauty.

It seems that the bet I made when I picked her up back was really right. Jiaqi is really a natural beauty. A little Lori who is loved by everyone.

Sometimes, I can't stand Jiaqi's delicate and lovely appearance, and I can't help but pick her up as I walk, ignoring her soft shouts and frowns in protest, and hugging her for a long time.

At that time, I found that my resistance to Jiaqi was getting weaker and weaker, and if it weren't for the "papa" on her lips and the look of dependence and trust in her eyes when she looked at me, I was not sure that I would have done anything out of the ordinary.

But when I restrain myself again and again, I also ask myself.

Why did I pick up Jiaqi? Why did I raise her? Am I just adopting orphans out of kindness?

No, it's not. I don't have that good heart, and my family doesn't run a welfare home.

I contradict myself like this.

But should I do something to Jiaqi? She is so young, although she is more and more beautiful and aura, but she has always innocently called me "papa", never doubted me, never even thought that I would hurt her, her trust in me is pure and unconditional.

And what about her, am I pure and innocent?

If you want to ask yourself in the end, I think that I definitely don't have 100% good thoughts about Jiaqi. I'm just an evil that keeps the bottom line. It's like a murderer who has been planning for a long time, but hasn't done it yet. But can you say that a murderer who has not been a killer is evil or good? Maybe he will never be a killer, then he can never be considered evil, because he has not broken through the last bottom line. But if he does it, then he will not be able to wash away the charge of being a killer in his life.

I know that I'm just a murderer who hasn't been killed.

And I can't guarantee when I can't restrain myself and lose my mind. The only reason that keeps me rational is Jiaqi's young age and the trace of affection I have for Jiaqi.

It can be said that as Jiaqi grew up, I spent a long time in contradictions and struggles.

In the midst of contradictions and struggles, 05 years are about to come to an end. At the end of the year, I took Jiaqi to the cinema for the first time, because at that time, the cinema happened to be showing "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", and I was a young man at that time, and I liked this kind of Hollywood movie, so I took Jiaqi to the cinema with me.

It was the first time in Jiaqi's life that I went to the cinema, and I went to the cinema with the idea of opening Jiaqi's eyes, but something unexpected happened. When I just bought two tickets and walked to the fourth row of the dark movie theater, Jiaqi was still a little nervous, grabbed my hand, and looked at the dark heads around me curiously and with some fear, and did not dare to speak. As soon as Jiaqi and I sat down, the big screen of the movie lit up, and then a bright movie advertisement jumped out, accompanied by the rumbling sound of the loudspeaker in the movie theater, Jiaqi, who had never been in the movie theater and didn't know what a movie was, cried on the spot, and grabbed my hand and cried: "Papa, go home." Papa, I'm going home. ”

Jiaqi's cry caused dissatisfaction among the surrounding audience, and through the darkness, I could still feel the angry and dissatisfied gazes of the people around me.

"Kiki, don't cry......" I tried to comfort Jiaqi, but Jiaqi took my hand and called: "Papa, go home, Kiki wants to go home......"

After persuading me for a long time, Jiaqi still didn't listen, and kept shouting to go home, when a woman around also came over, obviously not very good-tempered, and said angrily to me: "You also take care of this child of yours, it's so noisy, no one else wants to watch the movie?!" The tone was very heavy and aggressive. "I'm sorry, she hasn't been to the cinema. In the face of other people's reprimands, I could only apologize one by one, and comforted Jiaqi twice, but she still refused to stay, I really couldn't resist her, so I had to leave the scene in a hurry with Jiaqi. I felt a little embarrassed in my heart, and I felt a little heartache at the thought of buying these two movie tickets and letting me queue for a long time.

After leaving the cinema, I went to a nearby store and bought a bag of French petit cakes for Jiaqi, and she immediately burst into tears and laughed, excitedly stuffing the petit cake into her mouth, and the cream stained her little lips.

Hey, let's take Jiaqi less to the cinema in the future. That's what I thought at the time. Because Jiaqi knows too little about the outside world, many things outside are new and unfamiliar to her, and sometimes she is easily frightened. The slightest irritation will make her afraid. This made me very helpless. Because there are too few people in contact, Jiaqi is very timid, although she is very lively in front of me, but when she arrives in front of strangers, she cowers and does not dare to speak out.

I know it's not good for Jiaqi to continue like this, but I can't do anything else, after all, the main reason why she is what she is today is still me.

I hid her at home for too long, like the little dragon girl who has been staying in the tomb of the living dead, who has never seen the world, and who has not understood anything when she comes out.

Watching a movie was a relatively big thing that happened during that dull time, and after that, Jiaqi's life and I have been relatively peaceful, just like before.