My name is Yang Jiandong, 28 years old this year, when I was 6 years old, my parents divorced because of relationship problems, which left a shadow on my childhood, I became eccentric and love to fantasize alone, and at the age of 16, I picked up an abandoned baby girl in the old town of the city, and then life was full of contradictions and tensions. When I was 19 years old, my father died in a car accident, and since then, I have been the only one left in the huge family, inheriting my father's legacy, and I began to try to live independently on my own.

Since my father died, I have had to do a lot of things on my own, whether it is life or communication, no one can help me. I have a house and a sum of money, but I don't have a social circle that belongs to me, and there are many things I want to do but have no way to do them.

For a long time after my father's death, I spent time in loneliness and confusion, I didn't go out for a long time, but stayed at home, looking for the familiar figure I once had.

Since my dad passed away, I've really grown a lot, and I'm no longer the ignorant student I was when I first entered high school. A lot of things that made me excited at the time seem so ridiculous and so insignificant now.

Because my dad left me a million-dollar inheritance, I was able to support myself even if I lived on bank interest, and even if I squandered it, I could use it for decades.

What's more, I don't need to buy a house, which solves the most stressful problem in many people's lives. At that time, I could really say that I had no worries about food and clothing.

Because I had to take care of the 3-year-old girl Jiaqi, in the period after my father's death, I turned all the emptiness in my heart into motivation to take care of Jiaqi.

In fact, at that time, I was really a senior rich second generation, if other young people had so much property, I think there would be a lot of people who chose to pick up girls, buy cars and splurge a lot of money, but I am a person who is more withdrawn, not very fond of fooling around with others, and secondly, I am actually less responsible and more sensible, although if it was three years ago, I may still have the urge to go to the urban shampoo room to find a woman to experience double flying, but after so many years, I have really become very sensible, rational to the point where I feel far away and ridiculous when I think about those things。

The mood really isn't comparable to what it was three years ago.

What's more, I still have a Jiaqi to take care of.

At that time, Jiaqi was already the biggest concern in my heart, and it was impossible for me to leave her.

Although at that time, the so-called Lori cultivation plan in my heart was in a state of slack, but I still wanted to raise Jiaqi, and now I have enough financial resources to raise Jiaqi, so I want to raise her.

At that time, my idea was relatively simple, because I didn't really want to sit on the throne, so my pursuit was to find a stable job, a job that didn't have too much income and too busy, and I could take care of Jiaqi and me.

Of course, for a long time, I didn't go out to look for a job, but stayed at home and became a typical otaku.

Soon after, my college entrance examination results also came out, which was unexpected, because the difficulty of the college entrance examination that year was too high, and I actually reached the second line when many people failed the test and the score line was generally lowered by a few points, and I was really surprised at that time.

But at that time, I didn't have the idea of going to university, so I was already relatively indifferent to the results of the college entrance examination.

Sometimes time is like a calm water surface, smooth as a mirror, almost still, and sometimes it is like a river waterfall, passing rapidly.

After my father's death, I was depressed for a long time, but as time went by, I gradually came out of the shadows and began to get used to living alone.

When the image of my father gradually came out of my memory, I understood that my father was really gone.

Forgetting a person is unconsciously like a gust of wind that inadvertently blows around you. At first, you think about it every day, you remember, you are in pain, but as time goes on, you think of that person less and less, from ten times a day to once a day, and then from once a day to once a few days, once in a few months...... As your memories fade, one day, you won't remember the person who once left a mark in your life. Only when you suddenly think about it one day, do you feel a melancholy in your heart, and at that time, you will sigh and be depressed for a long time.

But in the end, you still leave your previous life behind and have your current life.

As my father passed away, and as Jiaqi grew up, I gradually returned to my previous appearance. Because of the temporary abundance of food and clothing, my life is also very comfortable, but after living for a long time, this person will also become very lonely, sometimes sleeping alone in the bedroom, turning off the light, feeling the darkness around me, thinking of the empty hall on the first floor of the house, I will feel a kind of loneliness and fear deep in the soul, as if you are the only one left in the world.

Then I would get up in the middle of the night, turn on all the lights in the house, turn on the TV, and leave it on until dawn to relieve my loneliness.

Fortunately, Jiaqi is here.

This little life made me feel a touch of home.

I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for Jiaqi. Expect to go crazy.

After the results of the college entrance examination came out, my uncle and Aunt Xiaofang came to persuade me to go to university, but I firmly said that I was going to work, no matter how much they persuaded me, I didn't listen, that was my most stubborn time, they didn't move me, and after trying several times but couldn't say they couldn't move me, they gradually stopped mentioning it.

Time still passes, every day, I look at the bright sunlight outside the window shining into the bedroom through the curtains, starting a new dazed day, day by day, I don't know where to go, what to do, at sunset, the red sunset afterglow shines into the house again, telling me the end of the day, the night falls. At that time, I knew I was going to have another night of loneliness.

Endless loneliness drives people crazy.

After that, I learned to go shopping, when I was fine, I would go out to walk the street, go to the park, sometimes I would take Jiaqi, listen to Jiaqi call me papa, watching the traffic and people coming and going on the street, I felt that I was still alive, there were people in this world besides me, and I was not alone.

In the following days, because I insisted on not going to college, my uncle recommended me a few jobs for me to choose from, hoping to pass the time for me. But I saw that those jobs had to be from morning to night, and some had to work night shifts, so I refused, and finally I chose a part-time company, and when I had time, I went to find a temporary job that only took a few hours and paid to earn a little money, such as distributing leaflets, doing some publicity, posting notices to promote products, etc., these temporary jobs can be 5 or 60 yuan an afternoon when there are few, and 80 to 120 yuan when there are more times. When I don't want to work, I stay at home and play on the computer for a few days, read novels and comics for a few days, and watch DCDs to pass the time.

At that time, I had the idea of traveling in the past, such as traveling to places like Hainan, Beijing and Xinjiang, because travel can relax, meet some people, and bring happiness to myself. But because I had to take care of Jiaqi, I had to give up the idea that I wanted to travel.

My life went on day by day. For a long time, I didn't have a regular job and I didn't have a regular salary.

Time flies, and during the Chinese New Year, I will also go to the houses of several aunts to visit relatives for dinner, and I will also go to the class reunions of elementary, junior high and high schools, but in the class reunions, I have not seen Qian Lulu. I made a special inquiry, and later I found out that she was not a local in the first place, but only came to high school because she had relatives here, and rarely came back after college.

When I heard the news, I was lost for a long time.

Time is still flowing like this. For a long time, I didn't know the meaning of my life, and sometimes I didn't know where I was going when I walked on the crowded streets. Sometimes a person stands on the balcony, watching the sunrise and sunset, and the day passes in one stop, but he doesn't know what he has done.

It was so boring that I bought myself a lot of small animals, I went to the flower and bird market to buy a small white poodle, and bought two small parrots, and also bought a few turtles and a tank of goldfish.

As time goes by, the most gratifying change is that Jiaqi is gradually growing up.

When she was less than three years old, Jiaqi couldn't speak a few words, and the most remarkable thing was that I put a lot of thought into teaching "goodmorning" and "goodnight".

But as she grew older, Jiaqi was able to say more and more.

For example, when she couldn't reach the candy she wanted to, she would look at me with her fingers in her mouth, and her eyes would look at me with bright eyes and say, "Papa, Kiki wants to eat candy." "Sometimes when it's time to pee, Jiaqi will take the initiative to come over, grab my trouser legs, look at me with her little head, touch the middle of her legs, and say to me, "Papa, Kiki wants to shhhhh ”

I thought it was fun at the time.

Gradually, I learned to play with Kiki, for example, I bought her a lot of toys, there are a lot of villains, dolls, and some toy cars, building block houses, I will pile up toys on the bed when I have time, and Kiki played at home, watching her take the toy villain in her hand and sway around on the bed, and pointed to the largest puppet in it and said: "This is ppa~"

I was really smiling at that time.

I've forgotten how each day passed, but when I felt time flying, more than a year had passed, and Jiaqi was more than 4 years old.

At the age of 4, Jiaqi still did not go to kindergarten.

Because Jiaqi has never had a hukou, and I have checked, the law says that only people over the age of 30 can adopt children, so it is impossible for me to apply for a hukou for her, let alone let her go to kindergarten.

What's more, deep down, I don't want Jiaqi to go to kindergarten, because if she goes to kindergarten, then I will really be the only one left in the family.

At the time, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do.

So, after being ruthless.

I decided not to go to Jiaqi to get a household registration, I want to educate Jiaqi alone and raise her alone. After graduating from high school, I have enough education and ability to teach her, and I don't believe that I will be any worse than kindergarten, elementary and junior high school.

At that time, the Lori cultivation plan that had been abandoned by me for a long time resurfaced in my mind.