I knew that I had already wrapped my warm heart in a serious way with colored wrapping paper, and I just waited for the time to be handed over to the person in front of me. But in this mouth, for some reason, there is no way to say the three words "I love you". is probably deeply hurt by the matter of marriage, so he will bow and cower. After all, even my parents can't carry out love to the end, how can I believe that a person who is not related to me at all can treat me forever. I'm afraid that one day, we will lose our former attachment in hurting each other, and we can only sigh at the end when we break up, how good it would be if life was only as we first met.

I can aspire to be a couple for the rest of my life, but I don't have the confidence to be able to truly have a person for a lifetime. In my life, I only want to have it, and I don't care if it lasts forever.

"Let's not talk about such a distant topic now, we are all adults, and we should all know that separation is the norm in life. I withdrew my hand from his palm, though I was, reluctantly, unwillingly.

"What about the apples?" Brake joked to me, trying to lighten the mood between us, and he tilted his head sideways, seeing that I looked solemn, and sighed, "I was wrong, I used to say that I should take my time with you, and I shouldn't be in such a hurry." ”

You're right, it's me who is wrong. It's me who didn't do it in a relaxed way, pushing and pulling, letting love take root in the haze, it was I who ran to you with all my might, and I couldn't wait to hand over my most beautiful and best things to you, so that you know how much I love you.

"We really should slow down...... I don't know much about you, and you only know a superficial amount about me. You don't know what color I like best, what food I like best, who my favorite celebrity is, what my most beautiful dream is, what my greatest joy is, what my deepest fear is, not to mention my attitude towards love, how I think about marriage, whether I like family and children or not. The object of your confession now is just the most beautiful little plum in your mind, she is a good wife and mother, gentle as water, but it is not me. I'm not just what you see, I'm a person with blind spots and defects in 360 degrees, if you really want to love me, you have to accept my glamorous places on the surface, but also accept the pits, even the wounds that are damaged and rotten. ”

"To be fair, let me ask you, haven't you only seen the good side of me when you have been with me so far, we are each other. He stretched out his hand and brushed the hair that fell on my cheek behind his ear, his movements were gentle, and he didn't dare to use any force, I looked at his eyes, and they were misty, "You don't have to be so anxious about love, love is like eating, you can't eat a fat person in one go, you have to take a bite at a time, and ...... one meal at a time."

"One meal at a time, eating into a fat man, yes and no. I was amused by his down-to-earth and appropriate metaphor, and I turned my head and reached out to wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. He is reasonable, I shouldn't be so impetuous, I should have a pure heart for him and for love. Maybe it's because the pace of the city is too fast now, maybe it's because of my own family that makes me feel resigned, or maybe it's the eye-catching online news that always shows people the ugly Rasheng Vientiane and makes me lose confidence in love. In short, the emotional barrier cannot be overcome one day at a time, and I can only look forward to eliminating my worries one day at a time.

"It's not early today, let's go back to our own homes and find our own mothers. ”

"Okay, I'll send you back to the dormitory. He stood up and reached out to pull me, and without hesitation I took his hand, and with two forces, I staggered forward and threw myself into his arms.

"Don't move, let me hold it for a while, just for a while. "I hung my head and buried it in his chest. His temperature is naturally much lower than when he was sick, and I hold him at the moment, like holding a huge doll, without lust. On the contrary, I am relieved that I would rather this moment be forever and stop at this moment, not forward or backward.

Do you know that you and I are like a layer of foam floating on the top of the glass when you pour beer, which seems to be dense and pure white, but in fact you take a sip, but it's all air.

He drove me all the way downstairs to the dormitory, and I stood on tiptoe, kissed him lightly on the brow, and dragged my exhausted body to the fifth floor.

After a day of work, I wanted to relax when I went on a date with him, but I didn't expect to have trouble in vain and even more headaches. I staggered up to the fifth floor with the handrail of the stairs, walked to the door of the dormitory, and when I saw the light shining through the skylight, I knocked on the door and called out to Babao to ask her to open the door for me.

I didn't expect the door to open the door with soy sauce.

"Why are you back?" the black dog was at my feet, snuggling up to my feet, coquettish, I squatted down and stroked the black dog, lifting my spirits, not wanting her to notice my loss.

"Our class is defending its thesis tomorrow, but you, why are you here, look at the leather bag you are carrying, don't rush here after work, right?" Soy sauce is wearing a pink long-sleeved and long-pants pajamas, holding an iPad in his hand, and is preparing a PPT for the defense.

I nodded, not wanting to make a fuss about her and let her find out. I walked to my seat, took off my bag, and hung it on the hook, "Have you already taken a shower?

"WHITE FLOWERS, LIKE DUMPLINGS, IF YOU DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO DOWN LATER," SOY SAUCE THIS PERSON RAN TO MY SIDE WITH AN IPAD, LOOKED AT THE BLACK DOG, AND THEN LOOKED AT ME, "YOU WON'T BE IN LOVE AND FOUND OUT AT HOME, QUARRELED, AND THEN TOOK THE CAT AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME." ”

"You've read too many youth pain novels, isn't it, where am I the heroine with such a distinct personality. "I'm just a, just an ordinary girl, and I'm not brave enough to even fall in love, "I'm running out of money in my bath card, how much money do you have in your card, lend it to me, and I'll discount it to you, okay?"

"I'm still in my thirties, eh, I remember you didn't say that graduation was enough, why did you run out of money immediately? Say, you stayed here for a few more days? Don't you go back to the dormitory because you want to be tired of braking with your house for a while?"

"Guess what. ”

"Hmph, it's a big deal to ask Babao. "SOY SAUCE SAW THAT I WAS IN A BAD MOOD, SO HE CAUTIOUSLY HUGGED THE IPAD AND WALKED AWAY. As soon as she sat down in her place, she looked at me again, like a marmot hiding in a hole, with dark and bright eyes, and a thief.

"What about Babao? Are you going to the Internet café all night? Isn't she going to defend herself when the debate is about to end this Monday?" I asked casually.

"I don't know, she is an old man with great powers, maybe she can pass the line by preparing casually. ”

Soy sauce was still observing my expression, and I felt annoyed, so I simply hugged the pillow, dragged the chair, and pulled it to her side. I rested my head on her shoulder and told her all about what had happened in the past few days.

Soy sauce listened carefully to my retelling, and his little hands couldn't bear the loneliness, so he went to the bookshelf and took a can of potato chips, and listened and ate them. When I finished speaking, she rolled her eyes and said, "Didn't you worry that he would treat you as his spring girlfriend and break up as soon as he graduated? Why now, he wants to be white-headed with you, but you are a hundred unwilling?

Being scolded by soy sauce like this, I removed my head leaning on her shoulder, hunched over, and looked at her with tears in my eyes. Knowing people and faces but not hearts, we can't figure out what this brake thinks. Anyway, as long as you are not married, all of this is countless, whether it is sincere or false, it is all regarded as a trick for men to deceive people into bed. ”

"What do you say, how do you listen so awkwardly. I thought it was her counting the brakes, and glared at her with my cheeks puffed.

"Eh, you can't say good things, you can't say bad things, what do you want me to do? Forget it, you take my card and go to the shower, don't bother my aunt and grandmother to review your homework." ”

"I'm annoyed, isn't it? I smiled and hugged the pillow, even though there was a sense of loss in my eyes.

"Honestly, what do you think. Soy sauce asked me softly.

"I don't know, to be honest I don't know. A person is used to being single, and suddenly he has a boyfriend, and he is tied to everything, and he needs to consider the feelings of two people, so it's really tiring...... It seems that I am still suitable for a person, not suitable for surviving in a relationship. I let out a long sigh, and finally found the crux of my problem, "Soy sauce, I'm not like you, I can be the dominant player in my love life, pulling the two of them forward." I'm different, I take into account the feelings of both parties in everything I do, the life I want is the same as the life he wants, I don't know, I can only get closer to his dream first. He only said that I was a gentle and lovely person who took care of his little plum in everything, but he didn't know that the real me was a free and unrestrained character. I want to be free, I want to stay with him, I want to care for him everywhere, love him, cook for him every day, but I don't want to be labeled as a good wife and mother, and become a slave to gender. The last thing I can let go of in my life is freedom and equality, but if I give up my truest self in order to cater to him, to be with him, to be with him, and to put him first, I will feel hard. If I continue like this, I will eventually want to quit, and I will undoubtedly hurt him. Whether it's going in or out, it's either giving up on myself or giving up on him, no matter what, I'm going to be a bad person, you say, how should I be good. ”