Listening to me vent, soy sauce seemed to only listen to her part of her ears, she pulled the corners of her mouth, and asked me awkwardly: "When did I pull him away in a love relationship with a stupid big man?"

"Isn't it?" I felt guilty for not being able to accept the love of the brakes, and instantly angry that she didn't listen carefully to my complaints. I leaned back, leaned back in my chair, and hugged the pillow in my arms. Although there is only a pillow between us, it is like a thick wall, "You always pull him to do what you like by your own nature, without considering his feelings." Do you remember, before the Chinese New Year, the stupid big man said that he would take you to be a tour guide for his cousin who came to travel, what's wrong with you, you shirked that you didn't go because you had something to do, and actually watched Korean dramas at home. After the winter vacation starts, you return to school with two suitcases, and you have to let the stupid big guy who has just returned from a foreign trip and has not yet poured a jet lag to help you carry the suitcase, you say, is this a double standard?"

These things were complained to me a little bit, but I didn't want to get involved between them because of my relationship with soy sauce and my identity as an outsider, after all, between them, what kind of green onion am I, why don't I be bored. Now that I am venting, I am just selfishly trying to find an excuse to vent the bitterness in my heart, and in fact, I am not fair to soy sauce.

Brake, you see, sometimes I'm so unreasonable and use the topic to play. I'm a very bad guy, but you haven't found out yet, don't love me, don't promise me, don't hold my hand and hold me and won't let me go, I don't deserve your selfless love.

"I'm not his daughter-in-law for the time being, his messy relatives, why should I go to social? Besides, as a boyfriend, I asked him to help me carry a suitcase, is it too much? He's a big man, and he suffers and suffers when he falls in love, isn't it right? If he doesn't train him to take me to heart during the golden period of love, and then after he gets married, he demands that he care about me and put me first, is this possible? Don't be naïve little plum, love is hot-blooded, marriage is step-by-step, if I want to achieve the life I want, I must transform him into a suitable appearance for marriage. The soy sauce brush stood up and looked at me condescendingly.

"You see, you have taken him as a private possession, domesticated him as a domestic pet. You have gone from love at first sight to homely love, to now, you are strong and weak, suppressing him everywhere and controlling him. You have long thought about wearing hanfu instead of a wedding dress, you have long thought about the color of the wall painting after the wedding is beige, you have long thought about transforming the study promised to him into a baby's playhouse, you have long thought about buying a six-seater mother car instead of the off-road vehicle he likes, you have never asked him if he likes it or not, whether he wants it or not. I smiled and looked up at her, my heart was like water, dripping into ice, and my momentum was not inferior to her at all.

Although, when I say it, I already regret it. I talked to her about the future on weekdays, but I used it as a weapon to stab her heart, which was really unbearable. But I'm not wrong, these are the most serious problems between her and the stupid big man, one day, they will face it, instead of suddenly facing the bloody reality, it is better to be mentally prepared in advance now.

"Why should I care what he thinks? I'm in charge of our family, he listens to me, and his taste is guaranteed to increase by an octave, isn't that great? I don't believe you, as a girl, have no illusions about the future. I don't want fantasy to lose to reality, I don't want to regress and compromise in the emotional game! I admit that this may indeed damage his interests, but I will not admit defeat!"

"Look at you, you always say that your mother has controlled your life for most of your life, left and right, and the first half of your life is depressed and full of ambition. Now, you look in the mirror and see if you look like her. "This is the heaviest thing I've ever said to Soy Sauce - just like the words that Soy Sauce said to Eight Treasures that she could seduce any man with her appearance during the drinking party that night, true and bloody. The only difference is that I was drunk with soy sauce that night, and I wasn't drunk tonight.

It is precisely because we know each other too well that we know where to stab the knife, which is the seven inches of the snake.

I didn't dare to look at the increasingly ugly face of soy sauce, so I took the basin and basket for bathing, smeared oil on the soles of my feet, slipped out of the bedroom, and slammed the door shut.

Along the way, it was deserted, and I walked briskly down the first floor and into the public bathroom. The bathroom has long since passed the bustling time, as long as there is a sporadic sound of water. It's just that the fog has not yet dissipated, and my glasses are instantly covered with a thin veil, and I did not rush to wipe them, but rubbed them, found a hanger to take off the clothes.

When he took off his essence, a line of hot tears flowed straight from the corners of his eyes to his jaw.

I'm bleeding and panicking to prove something.

Am I proving that a couple who have erased each other's boundaries, swallowed each other's dignity, and destroyed each other's dreams will gradually come to an end because of their natural differences? Am I proving that no matter what kind of affection is buried in the grave of marriage—am I convincing myself that marriage is a wolf in sheep's clothing, pretending to be mixed with the flock, and will eventually devour the weak lamb?

I'm ...... Convince yourself that even if you can't go down with the brakes, is it a good thing?

I stood under the shower, and the sound of the water clattering out my crying.

I'm sorry about the soy sauce, it's my fault. It's that I shouldn't have mapped the emotions from my original family to you and the stupid big man, you and him are completely different pairs, not my parents.

I haven't remembered it for a long time, but it's a shame.

At that time, I was still in an underground relationship with my first love in high school, and the two of them were happy with each other. Until one day, I helped my dad charge his mobile phone, and Bunsen wanted to see if the operator had sent a text message with a successful recharge, but I accidentally turned over the chat history between my dad and another woman. In this chat log, my father, who usually loves me a lot, uses a lot of sentences in text messages to be courteous to that woman without any shame. What's even more infuriating is that many of the words are words that he has never said to his mother, and they are sworn by the mountain. I was so angry that I didn't intend to confront him on the spot, I just deleted the dialog box and deleted the woman's phone number.

Dad naturally knew in his heart who cut off his love thread openly, I guess, he must be blowing his beard and glaring at Huang Ama with his mobile phone. It's just that he didn't have a fight with me, just the whole thing, and it didn't exist. Such hypocrisy, such timidity, and such cowardice, a little man after marriage is my father.

From that day on, I realized that no loving father is necessarily a perfect husband. While maintaining a marriage on thin ice, he tasted the fresh taste of love, and both parties refused to give up, this is probably a man, this is probably human nature. Soon after, I took advantage of the topic and broke up with my first love. My faith in love and marriage flew away like fallen leaves and fell into the dust that year.

A few years later, my father had a serious illness, and my mother took care of her work, saddled up and saddled her horse, and served her life, but the woman she had never met never appeared, which was really a great irony. If I could hate him, if I could run away from home and pin my hopes for love on men who are different from him, then all the knots in my heart would have been untied long ago; Such a contradictory image fell on my heart, and gradually formed a wrong subconscious for me - no matter how good a man is, even if it is my father, there will be a moment of betrayal of love and marriage, what higher hopes can you have for other men?

So in my heart, I said to my mother again and again without a word, you go, go as far as possible, and it is enough for me to stay and fulfill my filial piety.

Growing up like this, I was originally inferior and sensitive, weak and selfish, with fluctuating emotions and even unstable. Such emotions will be reflected in the relationship between two people, lingering, or even retreating, making him mistakenly think that he has made some mistakes. There wasn't anything wrong with him, but I couldn't deal with emotional differences with people I got along with. keeps saying that they love freedom and loneliness, but they are afraid of hurting others, and they are even more afraid of being hurt by others.

I have been hurt again and again by my parents' marriage, and I am even more afraid of being hurt by the people I love, which will be the last straw that will make me never recover.

The card reader chirped, and the balance in the card pointed to the embarrassing five dimes, and I quickly flushed the water to wash off all the foam on my body. A small thought actually rose in my heart, the money can be recharged if there is no money, and the feelings are the same, where in the world is there a thing once and for all, 'Love is like eating, you can't eat a fat man in one breath, you have to take one bite at a time, one meal at a time' to fill up your empty scarecrow, isn't it.

I had mixed tastes in my heart, not tastes, wiped off the water droplets, and walked to the fifth floor nervously. Pushing open the door, I saw Soy Sauce crying on the generous table alone, and my heart hurt like a car splitting.

I hugged the soy sauce from behind, and shrouded the wet moisture over her body that should be dry and warm: "I was wrong, soy sauce, I shouldn't have said such heavy things to you, I'm sorry." ”

Soy sauce was crying and sobbing, she held my cold hand and whispered, "Little Lizi, I was wrong." A gentleman does something but does nothing, and a woman gains something and loses something. If one of the two ends of the scale is heavy, one side will definitely float in the sky, and there is no way to have the best of both worlds. We are all mortals, and we must accept this cruel truth, I love him, but I am blinded by the desire to win and forget about it. Thank you. ”