Recently I saw an extreme case of two mother-daughter relationships on the Internet.

Let's start with the first one. A high-achieving girl who graduated from 211 college, her mother hid her graduation certificate because she didn't want her to work in other places, and she hid it for 8 years. During this period, the girl asked for it many times, but her mother never returned the graduation certificate to her daughter.

According to the girl's recollection, her mother did not communicate with her much since she was a child, she had to do what her mother told her to do, and she could not do anything if her mother did not let her do. Even when she learned belly dancing and makeup in college, she secretly learned it behind her mother's back.

Let's talk about the second one. There is a girl who has a good academic performance, and when she was filling in the college entrance examination, the girl decided to fill in Peking University. However, the girl's mother resolutely disagreed on the grounds that the girl would be too far away from home after going to Peking University. The girl hid in a fit of rage and went to her grandmother's house, but the girl's mother was so angry that she got drunk and ran to jump into the river. After being stopped by the police, the girl's mother sat by the river crying hysterically.

Although I described it very simply, and did not mention the time, place and name of the person involved, I believe that most people will not doubt the authenticity of the incident after reading it. In real life, there are too many such strong and controlling mothers, and the same story is playing out in different forms every day in life.

These mothers will unanimously accuse their daughters of disobedience for this kind of behavior that violates their will, and even say that their daughters have no conscience and are not filial. In the concept of Chinese, disobedience is a big mistake in life, a serious personality and moral stain, as long as Chinese do not want to bear such a reputation. No, they are only expressing their legitimate will and rights, but their mothers are imposing their own will on others and infringing on the legitimate rights and interests of others.

However, most mothers will not be like the above two mothers, who nakedly want their children to do what they want, and most of them will use the excuse that it is for the good of their children. As everyone knows, the real good for the children is to let the children act according to their own wishes, because if a person cannot act according to his own wishes, he will not be happy! Some mothers may say that they are afraid that their children will suffer losses and make mistakes, but they do not know that it is normal for a person to make mistakes in the process of growing up, and only in the process of continuous trial and error will people improve their cognition and mature. That kind of practice of doing everything for children is actually harmful to children and is not conducive to their growth.

The reason why this happens is because there is no concept of respecting the individual rights of family members in our Chinese family life, the boundaries between family members are too blurred, you may ignore that others also have their own wishes when you express your will, and you may also assume the responsibility of others when you take responsibility. This is very hurtful to the feelings of family members, and it is also very detrimental to the personality perfection and career development of family members. Therefore, in family life, we should also respect the wishes of the individual, and only under this premise can we ask family members to fulfill their responsibilities and obligations!