The AA system for couples is a way for Westerners to deal with family economic problems. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info Chinese first heard this way of negative attitude, thinking that even the husband and wife should be separated financially, and the feelings of Westerners are too indifferent, and criticize Westerners for their naked money relationship. In the eyes of the Chinese, since the husband and wife are highly integrated, they should be jointly owned economically, so as to meet the characteristics of intimacy between husband and wife. Such a family model is, of course, a very desirable state. However, in such a state, it is required that the family economy should be jointly managed by the husband and wife, and both parties should have equal control over the family economy, and at the same time should have equal obligations. But when it comes to these specific issues, we find that this is not possible at all.

In real life, the economic power of the family is generally held by the stronger spouse, and the stronger party has the final decision on the family's economic expenses. This requires that the powerful party in charge of economic dominance should be able to fully consider the problem from the perspective of the other party, in addition to the normal economic expenses of the family, and the legitimate demands of the other party should be satisfied. But in fact this is simply not possible, because being strong means being arbitrary. For example, a person's hobbies are indispensable spiritual sustenance for those who love them, and they are dispensable things for those who don't like them. If the person who does not love the hobby has the economic dominance, he will be resolutely opposed to investing money in the person who loves the hobby to develop his own interests, so that the person who loves the hobby will be restricted from developing his own interests. For example, in addition to maintaining a good family life, a person should also seek personal career development. In today's fierce competition in the workplace, people even have to develop their own careers in order to maintain a good family life. However, only the parties concerned know best how to develop their careers, where their strengths and advantages are, and how important an opportunity is to themselves. However, if the economic dominance is not in one's own hands, and the party holding the economic dominance cannot fully understand the needs of the parties, then the investment required by the parties to solve the development problems will be hindered, and the development of the parties will be slowed down or even the opportunities for development will be lost forever.

The above is in terms of personal development, and whether or not you have financial dominance in terms of personal interaction can also have a big impact. First of all, the husband and wife came out of two different families of origin and joined together. The situation of each family of origin is different, and the degree of closeness between each person and the relatives in the family of origin is also different. A relationship that one partner considers unimportant based on his or her own experience may be an important intimate relationship on the other. When one partner makes appropriate expressions about intimacy that they think is important, they will thwart the other person's actions if the other party thinks it is not important. If one party does not have economic dominance, it will discourage the desire to express affection.

Since both parties did not have the experience of living with each other's family members before marriage, there is naturally a difference in emotional and intimacy. If one party uses his or her own feelings and intimacy with the other party's family as the standard for expressing love between the other party and his family, the other party will be limited in expressing family affection and hurt the feelings and dignity of the other party and his family.

The same is true in terms of social interactions, both parties are not parties in each other's circle of friends, and they often cannot have a personal experience of the closeness and importance of each other's friends, just because they know each other's relationship. Considering the other person's investment in interpersonal communication with such an experience of interaction will be considered too much. If you happen to have the financial control of the family, you will interfere with the other party's social interactions, thus affecting the other party's social interactions.

On the other hand, if the husband and wife share the economic share, the income of both parties will inevitably be combined, but the dominant party will control it, so that the stronger parent can control the income of the two people. If the powerful party does not know how to exercise moderation and uses a large amount of two people's income to satisfy the desires of one of them, or even restricts the legitimate needs of others in order to satisfy his own desires, this greatly infringes on the rights and interests of the other party. Over time, it will also encourage the idea that the powerful side gets something for nothing, and the dependence on the other party. This is detrimental to both the development of an individual's healthy personality and ability to live independently. And the proliferation of this phenomenon will also lead people to pursue enjoyment and money for the purpose of marriage, while ignoring the principle that marriage is aimed at love, resulting in loveless marriage.

Through the above analysis, we will find that the implementation of the AA system for couples also makes some sense. As long as the method is appropriate, it is very helpful to protect the rights and interests of both husband and wife in the family and establish a correct view of love and marriage. In addition, with the promulgation of the third judicial interpretation of the Marriage Law of China, it has been clearly stipulated that the premarital property of the husband and wife shall be owned by the individual, which has completely subverted the old concept that the property of the husband and wife should be jointly owned. How to deal with the relationship between personal property and family property has become an urgent problem for couples today, and the AA system is undoubtedly the best way to solve this problem. So, how should the AA system be implemented between husband and wife?

Some people may simply think that the AA system means that each person's money is in everyone's hands, and the family expenses are shared by one person in half. However, it is far from that simple. First of all, we should distinguish between the expenses of the husband and wife, which are personal expenses and which are the joint expenses of the husband and wife. Joint expenses are borne jointly by the husband and wife, while individual expenses are borne by the individual payer. If all the expenses of the husband and wife are borne together, then there is no need to mention the AA system, and the essence is still to have money to spend together.

First of all, we should distinguish between what is personal expenses and what are common expenses? People's daily expenses are nothing more than clothing, food, housing, and transportation. As a husband and wife, food and housing should definitely be together, so the expenses for food and housing should be listed as joint expenses. Clothes must be worn separately, men and women generally do not mix, and what to wear and how to wear it also depends entirely on personal preference, so this item can be counted as a personal expense. As for the trip, it is more complicated, sometimes they travel alone, sometimes they travel together, sometimes they travel alone, but they are for the common affairs of the family, then we might as well list the travel for personal affairs as personal expenses, and the travel for common family affairs as common expenses, so that the sharing is more reasonable.

In addition to the above-mentioned daily expenses, families generally have some forward investments. For example, the purchase of housing, insurance to protect the health and safety of the family, the expenses incurred for the birth of children, and the funds set aside in advance for daily emergencies should also be included as common expenses.

So is it okay for the husband and wife to share the expenses evenly? No, no. The couple's contribution to the household should also be taken into account before considering financial contributions. This is because it would be unfair to the spouse to share only the financial expenses equally, and only one spouse or one spouse should bear the majority of the housework. Because money is the income of a person's labor, paying more labor is the same as paying more money.

In principle, housework should also be shared equally between the husband and wife, but in practice this is not possible. First, due to the relationship between work, the time that both parties can devote to housework is different, some more and some less. Second, due to the difference in personal ability, the housework that the husband and wife can do is also different, some are good at doing and some are not good at it. In short, it is impossible for the husband and wife to invest equally in housework. When considering the sharing of common household expenses, the situation of both parties undertaking household chores should also be taken into account. The one who does more housework should share less of the common household expenses, and the one who does less of the housework should share more of the common household expenses.

There are two other special cases of housework. One is that when the woman is pregnant and cannot take on the housework, because the woman's pregnancy is completing the mission of the continuation and inheritance of the couple's life, which is the top priority of the family, then the housework should be borne by the man. If the man is unable to take care of all the housework, the man should try to solve the problem on his own, for example, the man should pay for a nanny to handle the housework. This period should be from the time the pregnancy is confirmed by the woman until the end of the lactation period, during which time the husband should compensate for the additional household expenses if the woman is physically able to do so. The first is that if the woman can still do it, she will not do it because she is pregnant, and let the man be busy alone, which is really against the way of husband and wife's care, and second, if the woman maintains proper exercise, which is good for pregnancy, encouragement, and postpartum recovery. If the mandatory requirements must be borne by the man, it is not conducive to family harmony and women's physical and mental health.

In addition, there is another situation, that is, one of the husband and wife is a career-oriented talent, and he is busy with his career all day long, and he can't take care of housework at all, and the housework needs to be completely undertaken by the other party. In this case, some people will say that the one who is busy with the business should bear all the household expenses, or give the other party some financial compensation. But this still seems to be somewhat inappropriate, since the husband and wife are equally united and jointly run the family as partners in the social organization. It is obviously unfair for one party to pay some financial compensation for the other party's contribution to the family without assuming family obligations but enjoying the warmth of the family and achieving success in his or her personal career. That would be tantamount to spending money to hire a housekeeper or nanny, and a family's filial piety to the education of its children and parents is not something that a housekeeper or nanny can accomplish, so it is inappropriate to pay any kind of remuneration. We should think of a husband and wife as a joint venture to run a family and business, one of the spouses is the main and the other is the outside, and all the income of the spouse should be regarded as the joint income of both parties. Both parties should share the common income equally and then bear the common household expenses equally according to the AA system.

Or some people may ask, if the husband and wife are doing business together, and the income is originally common, then how can the AA system be implemented? In this case, we should treat the family and the business separately, and the family expenses are the family expenses, and the business income is the business income. At this time, we should first determine how to divide the business income between the husband and wife. The income from the business is first of all an investment dividend, and if you are still involved in production and operation, you should also be paid for your work. Investment dividends only need to see how much stock each husband and wife have invested, and then dividends can be distributed according to the proportion of their respective investments. If both spouses are also involved in the production and operation, they should be paid according to the amount of work they have undertaken in the business. If one party undertakes too much housework due to family needs, it should be handled according to the situation that one party is busy with business and one party undertakes all the housework, and the housework undertaken by one party is regarded as a partnership contribution in the business, and the dividend ratio should be appropriately increased when distributing dividends. When the husband and wife divide the profits of the business equally among their names, they will share the family expenses equally according to the principle of the AA system.

Speaking of which, some people may think that this AA system is too idealistic, but in fact it cannot be done at all. Those who hold such a view may say that housework is too cumbersome to be divided so fairly. In fact, it is not difficult to be fair at all, Confucius said: "Do not do to others what you do not want to be done to yourself", and there is also a popular saying among the people: "If you want to be fair, you must be upside down", so as long as we can push ourselves and others, we will definitely be able to achieve fairness. In addition to the restrictions caused by gender differences, couples should remember to ask themselves when they ask each other, "Can he ask me the same?" If the other person makes the same request to you and you can accept it, then you will be fair to each other. And to do this, as long as you have a sincere attitude, hold the happiness you enjoy in your marriage, and the other party is also entitled to the principle, instead of deliberately deceiving the other party, not to be above the other party, not to do less or no housework yourself, but to ask the other party to do more or all of it, then you will definitely be able to do it.

Some people may say that this is still too idealistic, and that people are selfish, so how can they be so upright? Yes, if human nature is really so imperfect, then under such a premise, if husband and wife practice economic commonality, will not the weaker party suffer even more? Only when the AA system clearly defines the respective rights and interests of both parties can we effectively ensure that the weaker party does not suffer losses. Some people may ask again, since everyone is selfish, what if the stronger party deliberately wants the weaker party to bear more family obligations? There was a story about the father who asked the brothers to share a piece of bread, and both brothers said that it was impossible to divide them absolutely equally. The father said, then let the elder brother divide it, but let the younger brother choose first. As a result, the elder brother divided two pieces of bread that were exactly equal. Since the principle of sharing household expenses is equality, it means that no matter how they are divided, both spouses have the same number of obligations. If one party must share according to the plan he proposes, then he cannot choose what he bears first, but the other party should choose first. If the husband and wife cannot even guarantee such a rule, the failure of this marriage is doomed.

Seeing this, some people may think that it is too terrible to implement the AA system in this way, and only calculation is left between husband and wife. And if one party can't afford the household expenses or household chores, doesn't that mean the marriage is going to end? The purpose of the AA system is to clarify the responsibilities, rights and obligations of individuals in the family, not to require husbands and wives to have a competitive relationship in their lives. The husband and wife came together because they loved each other, and the two lived together because of affection rather than money. So when one party is in trouble in life, the other party should not hesitate to help. For example, when one partner is too busy to complete his or her share of household chores, the other partner can help him with them. Another example is that when one party has a career problem, the economy is in trouble, and the family expenses cannot be afforded, the other party can bear the family expenses first. And in return, when the other party is in trouble, that party should do the same. However, more often than not, the other party does not need the same help from the other party, but only hopes that the other party can be grateful, give the other party love and appreciation, and the other party is already very satisfied.

But help must be given when the other person is beyond his means. If one party has time to do household chores, but does not do it, and if he or she can afford to pay for the household expenses, he does not do it. Subjectively, I want to pay less for myself and let the other party pay more. Even if you have sharp teeth and sharp teeth, the other party can't say anything about you, but you don't understand in your heart that you have suffered a loss; even if you are clever and the other party believes you today, you may not wake up tomorrow. As long as the other person finds out that you are cheating on him, his feelings for you will decrease. Each time it happens, one layer is reduced. Until one day it is reduced to no feelings, and then your marriage will come to an end.