Seeing this, some people may say, isn't it just to fulfill our responsibilities? Isn't it just that we should be self-reliant and self-reliant? We just have to work hard to do a good job in the future, so why do we have to change the pattern of family life? As everyone knows, the mode of life determines the way of thinking and behavior of people, and if the pattern does not change, the way will never change.

For example, since the form of marriage is that the woman goes to live with the man, then the man must pay a certain bride price to the woman as compensation, which is an important part of the marriage procedure. If this item is removed, people will feel that it is unfair to both the woman and her family. Then the amount of bride price has become an important criterion for people to evaluate the merits of this marriage. In reality, of course, the more the bride price, the better, because this not only makes the woman get more benefits, but also has more face. As a result, bargaining over the bride price has become an important part of the marriage process between men and women, and the compromise between men and women on the bride price has become an important factor in whether a man and a woman can be united. If this problem is not handled well, even if a man and a woman can eventually be united, it will cause hurt to the feelings of both parties or bury hidden dangers for married life. In reality, it is very rare for the families of both men and women to be able to understand and give each other on the issue of bride price, and conflicts are almost inevitable. Therefore, men and women in love often enter the substantive stage of talking about marriage, and their happiness is greatly reduced due to the contradictions between the two families on the issue of bride price. This phenomenon leads women to pay more attention to the other party's family background, occupation, income and other material-related conditions when choosing a partner, while ignoring factors such as personality and feelings.

However, even if the man fully satisfies the woman's requirements for the bride price at the time of marriage, it cannot fully satisfy the woman's happiness. After marriage, the woman's position in the man's family is another factor in the woman's happiness. This is particularly valued by women because of the rule that in traditional marriages, the woman is expected to live in the man's house and is regarded as a member of the man's family. How to live in a family that is not related by blood and does not feel under the fence is another guarantee of women's happiness. How to live a status life? Of course, it is to be valued and preferential.

First of all, of course, being treated preferentially. There's a joke about how after dinner, the father and son sit in the living room, and the mother and daughter go to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Suddenly, there was the sound of plates breaking. After a while, the son said, "The plate must have been broken by my mother." The father asked, "Why?" and the son replied, "She didn't curse this time!" I believe that many men could not laugh at this joke. Because many men have had similar experiences. This is preferential treatment, and it is also a mistake, and the rest of the family will be scolded, while the woman can not be held accountable. There is still a gap between the plot described in the joke and reality. In reality, some women do nothing at home, but they are there to point fingers, give orders, and call the other half around like a servant; some women are desperately spending their husband's money to experience the pleasure of being raised; some people ridicule this kind of woman who likes to listen to her husband's words most is not "I love you", but "spend it casually"; some women treat the other half as their own plaything, insulting and making fun of them at will, and only being happy for themselves; some women even ask themselves to be treated more favorably at home than their children.

And then there's being valued. The so-called being valued means that the woman should dominate the family life, and all life in the family should be centered on the woman. In terms of specific behavior, the woman blames her husband and asks the other party to satisfy all her desires. If my husband is a little unsatisfactory, he will be furious, and even 99% of my husband has done a good job, and 1% of them have not done a good job, and they will not forgive, and they will abuse their husbands with all kinds of unbearable foul language, which can be described as exhausting their ability to slander and humiliate, as if they are enemies for generations. Because in the woman-centered family life, the slightest mistake and hesitation of the husband is considered to be uncaring for the woman and cannot be forgiven. Then there is the willfulness and unreasonableness, and it is the glory to win her husband's favor and bow to her. In order to achieve the goal of dominance, sometimes women will even ignore the facts, say the situation in their favor, or control their children to coerce their husbands into comply. In order to make her husband self-centered, a woman does not hesitate to prevent her husband from doing what she likes. When the husband is interested in focusing or doing something, and deviates from the woman-centric, the woman will stand up in a big way and stop the thing from happening. But when a man takes the initiative to ask for a woman's opinion before doing something, the woman becomes very hypocritical and refuses to reveal her intentions, leaving the man in a dilemma. Because even if you take the initiative to ask for opinions, it makes women feel that they have lost their initiative and lost their dominant position, so it is unacceptable. Even women demand absolute say in family matters and never consult with men. But it's hard to make mistakes when you say too much, and admitting mistakes will affect the dominant position, so there is a saying that "the wife is always right".

In short, under the model of marriage by marriage, women only consider satisfying themselves, rather than caring for men, nor how to get along harmoniously. Because in a marrying marriage, the higher the man's tolerance for a woman's vexatious trouble, the stronger the woman's sense of happiness, and in the woman's heart, she feels that there is no bottom line. As for whether the husband is good or not, it doesn't matter if it's hard or not, whether it's hard or not. But life is not a fairy tale that can be woven at will, and life has its own laws. It's okay to let you take less responsibility, it's okay to let you enjoy more benefits, how can you insult people? How can you be allowed to infringe on other people's rights? And any effort is to be rewarded, and if you don't pay back, men's psychology will be unbalanced. Men will fight against women, either actively or passively, in order to regain their rights, and the result of the struggle is less and less love.

In addition, such a living environment is very harmful to the cultivation of a woman's sound personality and the cultivation of good behavior habits. First of all, because women pin their happiness on the bride price, the preferential treatment and importance of the man's family, and other external factors, women always love to compare in behavior and always seek support from the outside in spirit. For example, some women are particularly eager for her husband's physical companionship, which is because she does not know how to find support from the spiritual communication between the two parties. For example, some women have a short temper, and they will get out of control as soon as their anger comes up, and they can't suppress it, or they usually speak in an arrogant and unreasonable tone. This is because her spiritual support is obtained through the external factor of striving for and maintaining her dominance in the family, and it is impossible to cultivate her character through reflection and introspection. The worst thing is that the way in which a woman goes to live in a man's house makes a woman think that a man's love for herself is earned by a woman who gives herself and gives birth to a child for a man, not by her own love for a man. Since the woman has already arrived at the man's house and has given birth to a child for the man, it is like having paid for the purchase of something, and the man's love has been bought out. Therefore, married women take it for granted that their husbands love them, and no matter how unreasonable they are, their husbands can't get bored. Some women will use tossing to test their husband's love for themselves. Sometimes, even if a woman wants to say a few words of concern and resignation to her husband, she can show her reasonableness. But because she thinks in her heart that this is not what she should do, the words she says make people sound fake.

Then there is the mentality that women have developed to be raised by men. There is a saying circulating in the circle of women, "The highest level of a man's love for you is to raise you as a daughter, and a man who doesn't love you uses you as a mother, so when a woman meets a good man in this life, she doesn't need to grow up for the rest of her life." This kind of psychology makes women very lazy in their thinking and behavior, and they want men to solve everything for themselves, and no longer have the concept of doing their own things. But some things can only be solved by themselves, and others can't replace them, which makes some of women's behaviors and ideas seem very naïve. For example, in order to maintain the dominance of the family, some women have to make decisions in everything at home, but she does not want to think about how to do things, and expects men to think and complete them for her. But for a man to do things, he needs to give the man a certain decision, but the woman still has to decide by her. As a result, the woman was not allowed to do it for a while, and then questioned why she didn't do it. For example, the physical condition and mood of a person completely depend on the individual's self-regulation ability, but there are such women in life, when they are not in good health, they will ask their husbands: "You hurry up and make me better"; when they are unhappy, they will ask their husbands: "Your ideas make me happy". When encountering such a woman, their husbands can only cry and laugh.

Then there is the psychology that causes women to be afraid of losing. Since the basis for supporting a woman's happiness comes from the outside, and it is not something that a woman can fully control, it makes the woman feel a fear of losing her happiness in her heart. This makes the woman always try to hold her husband and children firmly in her hands, do not give her husband personal space, and do not trust her husband, which makes her husband feel very depressed and disrespected.

Then there is the split personality of women. Because women think that love is to be spoiled, they can be tricky and unreasonable in front of their husbands, but women also know that it will not work to go out of the house and do this again. So we found that many women are reasonable outside, and when they come home, they become rude and willful. And at home, women also have to enjoy preferential treatment, and there are two sets of standards for their families and themselves, and what she can do is not allowed by others. There is a joke on the Internet that goes like this:

Two old ladies chatting. A said: My daughter-in-law is too lazy, she doesn't do housework all day, she doesn't bring her children, she doesn't wash her clothes, she doesn't get up on Sundays, and she wants my son to make lunch for her! It's so annoying! B asks: How is your daughter doing now? A said: My daughter, her life is good, she doesn't have to do housework, she doesn't have to take care of her children, she doesn't have to do laundry, she doesn't have to get up early on Sundays, her son-in-law can cook things and take them to the house, and she can go around to play, and her mother-in-law likes her!

Also, two old ladies were chatting, and A complained to B: My daughter-in-law is so bad that she goes to her mother's house all day to get things, why should my son give her things to her mother's house? After a while, A happily wants to go home, and B asks: What's wrong? A says: My daughter has come back from her mother-in-law's house again!

In the end, if a woman's wishes are fully fulfilled in a marital marriage, it will only lead to this pathological behavior, which cannot give a woman inner peace and pleasure. If a woman's desires are not fulfilled in a marrying marriage, there is only resentment and resentment in her heart. Therefore, it is difficult for women in a marrying marriage to have a peaceful and satisfied mentality, and they always show anxiety and dissatisfaction in the family, always make the family atmosphere very tense, and always make the family very unhappy.

The AA marriage is different, the man and the woman are united as equals, and the responsibilities, rights and obligations of both parties are clear and do not have to compete with each other. And only mutual respect, mutual care, and mutual love are the signs of marital happiness, and the more the two respect and care for each other, the closer the relationship will be. And the degree of marital happiness depends on the degree of intimacy of the couple's relationship.